The question I hear most often from friends and family is one that was never asked of me until recently. That question is: “How’s married life?”

It’s a simple question, but it is loaded with curiosity and wonder, because they never thought I would be in a position to answer it!
However, I can and I will. There are two cautionary sayings that reflect my life until now. They are, “Man plans as Hashem laughs,” and “Never say never.”

I enjoyed a bachelor’s life well into my forties not by design, but by a strengthening independence I created. An independence where the years progressed into decades. My initial intention upon completing my education was to be married by 26 years of age, but as I was developing my career, my focus centered on professional as well as financial success. My thoughts at the time were that a happy marriage could not exist, if my foundation to provide for a wife and family were still in the building stages. My sights were of myself and not beyond. My financial fears governed my social life, and the subsequent lack of commitment to anyone or anything outside of my career was the unfortunate by-product. By lacking faith in my ability to adequately provide financially, I found myself searching for a match I knew did not exist.

I missed out on, and overlooked, many great women whom I never gave a chance, as my assumptions and limiting beliefs governed my emotions. My criteria were unrealistic, and every excuse I could find would be a reason to stop dating. I broadened my horizons, yet the same obstacles I put up were keeping me from maintaining a relationship past a few dates, and it became a habit well into my fifties.

All the while, my siblings, my friends and even my younger cousins were getting married and raising families. Another generation was passing me by. I wrote earlier that I enjoyed a bachelor’s life and in truth I did—not because it is what I wanted, but because I refused to be unhappy.

I have been blessed with a close family, amazing friends and a fulfilling career. I have a lifetime of travel and learning experiences that I truly cherish, and would never trade. Ironically, the greatest lesson I learned is that even with all that, I was alone. Surrounded by my family and friends, I was alone. My family was growing, but not due to me. My friends were planning weddings and bar-mitzvahs for their children, and my contemporaries are now becoming grandparents!

The life I was planning to have was being fulfilled by everyone around me. I realize now, that I wasn’t looking for a partner, I was looking for my own perfection. I was blinded by my own reflection, rather than looking into the soul of a good woman whose life I could have shared. I perceived the encouragement I received from family and friends as pressure. When they wanted to fix me up, I was flattered but my first instinct was to turn the introduction down. I used the line: “I know her already.” Rather than see my friendly relationship with her as a built-in ice breaker to start a conversation, I did the opposite. I was set in my ways and set in my outlook. I gave up, threw in the towel, closed the book, and convinced myself that remaining single was what I always wanted. How else could I explain to myself why I wasn’t even in a meaningful relationship? Time marched on, as time does.

As I prayed each morning with my tefilin, after praying for my family, my personal prayer started to change from merely being happy, to having Hashem be my partner in opening me up. I’d pray to let the walls down and to come out from hiding. I prayed to recognize beauty and values that were beneath the skin. It was at this time, when I received the sign and feeling that everything needed to change and was going to change.

I started noticing that I was the only single person in the room. I began to feel the solitude and isolation I created. I declared that this was the final straw. My mind was suddenly in a different place, and I was open to whatever happened resulting from the walls coming down.

Once this shift occurred, the opportunities started to reveal themselves, and I was not going to pass them up this time. I was not going to use the old excuses or lines everyone was tired of. Another major lesson I learned is that the compromises one makes to stay single are so much less valuable and meaningful than the compromises one makes in partnership with a loving spouse.

Thankfully, I became successful but who knows how much more valuable life would have been had I been in partnership rather than a solo flyer? I made a life defining assumption that a woman was not going to start out with me as I was building a career. It was safer from a financial point of view, but not from an emotional one. The women of our community are assets and not liabilities. They are our partners.

Our wedding was a blessed celebration of love, of friendship, of family and the miracle of faith. I only pray you learn from my story sooner than later—and to make that point even clearer—I will use a quote from one of our favorite movies, When Harry met Sally (and I am paraphrasing) “When you realize you want to spend the rest of life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.”

You can plan all you want, just plan on opening your heart and mind to who may be right in front of you.

So, to answer the question: “How’s married life?” I respond, Truly a blessing, and an answer to my prayer. I wish I could have been able to answer that 20 years ago.

The Community Security Alliance (CSA), an umbrella organization for Brooklyn’s Sephardic community, with 23 buildings under its auspices, is proud to announce that for the fourth year in a row, we have assisted community organizations in securing large grants from the US Department of Homeland Security, to enhance building safety.

The nonprofit security grants have ranged from $75,000 to $150,000 depending on the year. Each year, six to seven CSA member institutions have received grants. In 2020, CSA believes at least 10 CSA members will be receiving grants of $100,000 each.

All around the community, extra cameras are being installed, guard protection has increased, locks are being changed, and entry doors to facilities are being more carefully monitored. The security of the 10,000 students attending yeshivot in our community is a major concern, as well.

What is more important than the safety and security of the thousands of people who enter our synagogues, our schools, and other community buildings? As a community, hundreds of millions of dollars have been invested in our infrastructure and these buildings—and the people who use them—must be protected.

Bias crimes against Jews represent more than 60% of religious based hate crimes, according to the FBI’s Unified Crime Reports. Three Orthodox men were attacked on their way to synagogue in August. The previous Friday night, there were two other attacks in Williamsburg. There was the Chabad shooting in Poway, CA and attacks in Pittsburgh and Los Angeles in 2018.

The world as we know it has changed. Global terrorism is now a fact of life. Jewish residents have become the target of hate crimes and terrorist attacks, many of which are increasingly violent and deadly. Threats to the Jewish community are constantly evolving, and it’s important that we, as a community, remain proactive in our efforts to understand and combat them.

CSA ensures the security and the safety of our community’s institutions through a thorough, carefully designed and coordinated plan of actions and protocols.

The organization has contracted with security professionals who specialize in risk assessments, operational training and security design for schools, camps, community centers, houses of worship, private businesses, and government institutions. These professionals also have decades of experience helping to better secure government facilities, power stations, military installations, embassies, and airports.

Volunteer-based initiatives have been effective worldwide. One of the most important parts of the CSA plan is the recruitment of teams of volunteers who will be trained to prevent incidents. We will train volunteers to protect and prevent incidents at their respective buildings. It is these volunteers who know the facilities, know the congregants and have a vested interest in protecting their families and friends. To become a trained security volunteer at your synagogue, visit: csalive.org/volunteer.

I was not sure what to expect when I applied and was accepted as the PROPEL summer intern. Was I going to be spending my time making coffee for others? Was this organization compelling and engaging?

What I discovered was an incredibly professional and well-run organization in our community that fills a tremendous need. PROPEL guides women who are entering the workforce. Women of all ages and levels of experience reach out to the organization and receive one-on-one career coaching and advice from an outstanding mentor, Ellen Ades.

I spent much of my time with Viviane Darwish, Director of Operations. I was involved in back office management, and used my knowledge of Excel to help with organizational details. My assignments included creating an online survey to help access the client experience at PROPEL.

The organization sponsored many events over the summer. I was involved in supporting the many details it takes to run a successful event. At the start of the summer, PROPEL showcased RBG, a movie reflecting the life of Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg and hosted a vision mapping session with Alice Chera. I was inspired by these events and realized the potential each woman has to actualize a career of her choice.

PROPEL’s premiere summer event, arranged by Dr. Gayle Krost, Carol Chera and Marcy Feldman, “When Opportunity Knocks,” was a panel discussion hosted at the home of Gayle Krost. It showcased six incredible women: Shelly Shmool, a photographer (By Jackie and Shelly), Grace Natkin, a fashion designer, Joyce Ash of Jerome Avenue Bakeshop, Jaimee Shams, a registered nurse at NYU Langone Medical Center, Susie Sutton, a teacher at Yeshivah of Flatbush, and Vicki Grazi, a PROPEL graduate and yoga instructor.

The discussion was moderated by Co-Executive Director of PROPEL, Alissa Shams. I learned so much from the woman on the panel. They shared their personal journeys, what led them to choose their careers, how they balance work and family and their “aha moments” which inspired them.

The summer is not over yet. I am looking forward to our next two events—one is for women interested in the arts, sponsored by Robin Braka, a PROPEL board member, and her daughter Rachel Khafif, of RBK Advisory. The other is for Team PROPEL, a group we formed which will be running at the upcoming SBH 5K race. Look out for our fabulous pink PROPEL shirts.

After my summer experience at PROPEL, I am very proud to exclaim, “Run like a girl.”

Follow PROPEL on Instagram @PropelNetwork to find out information about upcoming PROPEL programs and events.

If you are interested in a career, please reach out to PROPEL. We can help you fulfill your professional goal. Call (646) 494-0822 or email info@thepropelnetwork.org.

Imagine Academy recently held their first ever Cooking Collective in Deal, NJ. Imagine Academy, a school for children with autism, has a loving, dedicated staff that often go above and beyond for their students. At our very first meeting, Heather Deutsch mentioned they hadn’t had a summer fundraiser in some time and were ready for something new! With that said, The idea for the Cooking Collective was born.

In 14 different homes, chefs from the community held Demo and Dine parties to raise money and awareness for the school. Some chefs demonstrated at their own homes, while others were welcomed by one of our gracious hosts. As the night unfolded, there was cooking, laughing, and bonding! From the flowers to the aprons and sophisticated table-scapes, each and every party was an elegant affair complete with a gourmet meal.
With much thought and preparations from the chefs, each dinner offered a unique experience for its participants. Adele Yedid featured a plant-based menu that was as healthy as it was tasty, while Michelle Gindi invited moms and their young daughters to her demo of a child-friendly meal. Alexis Cohen’s event focused on beautiful desserts and cake decorating, and the group with Aliza Salem were raving about the many innovated cooking tips they couldn’t wait to implement. Fannie Bouganin’s girls hung on her every word and Paulina Ashkenazi’s guests all agreed they felt transported to some European location, thanks to her menu and ambiance. Florence Chera’s crowd had a ball bonding through food, and Claudia Bildirici’s group spent just as much time laughing as they did cooking. Rachel Pahuskin’s gourmet menu had her guests excited from the moment they entered, and Eileen Missry’s dinner was a true family affair, with her mom and grandma beside her bursting with pride.

One guest who visited Sarah Hanan’s demo commented that the elegant setting, coupled with delicious dishes, created the perfect night out with the girls. Susan Harari wowed her guests with a tuna pizza, and Pamela Azizo’s homemade cherry tomato sauce is sure to be a new staple for all in attendance.

The dynamic duo of Stephanie Mosseri and Julie Ebani planned their recipes and menus to perfection, and their attention to detail didn’t go unnoticed. All the chefs and hostesses brought their best, infusing the night with their own personal flavor.

A highlight of the evening included different representatives from Imagine Academy who visited each home to speak about the importance of the school and what it means to them, followed by a moving video that brought their words to life. For the guests, hearing from these individuals in such an intimate setting made an impact. It elevated the night from a social gathering to a meaningful experience.

Guests asked questions and engaged with the speakers. In return, the founders of the school and long-time employees felt truly appreciated and valued by the listeners. As one speaker, Jane Sutton, mentioned, there are certain events that are fundraisers and others that are friend-raisers. This cooking event was definitely both. All the women left feeling moved and inspired. From the generous hosts and chefs to the eager participants, everyone joined together to make the night a memorable success. There was good food and better company! Each woman left with an exclusive cookbook featuring one recipe from each of the participating chefs, a full belly, and an even fuller heart!

Thank you to all the chefs and to the additional hosts: Rachelle Abady, Audrey Adjmi, Janelle Ash, Dianne and Annie Azrack, Jen Jemal, Cynthia Levy and Stephanie Levy. Thank you to the wonderful speakers, Heather Deutsch, Jane Sutton, Marcelle Shasho, Raquel Savdie, Danielle Azizo and Aura Varon. An extra special thank you to Victoria Mamiye for the exquisite flowers at each home, and Lisa Chakkalo for the beautiful photos that captured the night.

The icing on the cake was when chef Pamela Azizo won the raffle for the gorgeous jewelry, so generously donated by Roxana Warat of Warat Jewels. Thank you to Sarah Joy Dweck, Claudette Mathews, Sari Rishty, Adelle Soffer, and Sofia Tawil: your yummy confections were the perfect end to the fabulous meals. To Ruby Dweck, Francis Yedid, Claudia Azizo, Raquel Habert, and Marjorie Eida, and everyone else who donated their time and talent, because of you this night far surpassed anything we could have imagined.

Recently, Magen David Yeshivah parents and students gathered at the home of Marshall and Jeannie Mizrahi for a beautiful night of learning. Titled: MDY Night of Learning and Unity, over 300 people showed up to learn together. Looking at them, spread out in the Mizrahi’s backyard, it was clear MDY achieved their mission.

While there are many opportunities to continue learning over the summer vacation, it is rare for students to interact with so many rabbis and teachers on one night and for one purpose—to learn together.

Different age groups were assigned to different locations, all within earshot of each other, and at each spot an MDY rabbi or teacher led a discussion. The buzz was incredible; everywhere you looked there were people asking questions, reacting to comments, and listening intently.

Rosh Yeshivah, Rabbi Harold Sutton, kicked off the event with words of Torah. He analyzed the rabbinic statement attributing the destruction of the Beit Ha’Mikdash to neglecting Birchat HaTorah (Torah blessings) and explained the key lesson—we cannot consider the Torah a subject we learn in school, or an intellectual pursuit; it should be studied as a guide to life and as our constant source of inspiration.

Following Rabbi Sutton’s address, the crowd scattered into their separate sessions. Rabbi Alan Berkowitz, the principal of MDY elementary school, opened the parent session and spoke about the proper way to approach a child’s education. He then introduced MDY’s new High School Principal, Rabbi Richard Tobias, who expressed that he was excited to work with the new administration and emphasizing the partnership between the various levels of Magen David.

Rabbi Tobias’ topic, “the worst things your child could tell you,” created a lot of speculation. Many in the audience were surprised to hear that the worst thing a child can say is, “I don’t care.” Life is filled with distractions and children can escape into a video game and social media. More and more of our youth are becoming apathetic and unwilling to engage with reality. They are losing their ability to feel and to cope with challenges and to build relationships and they need those skills in order to live meaningful lives in the future.

While their parents were discussing the Torah perspective on apathy with Rabbi Tobias, MDY students were learning as well. Seventh and eighth grade girls were led by Rabbi Joey Mizrahi and seventh and eighth grade boys were given a class by Rabbi Meyer Barnathan. High school girls were given a class by Associate Principal, Mrs. Esther Tokayer. High School boys learned with Rabbi David Elnadav. A class for college age students and young professionals was given by Rabbi Joey Haber.

A light dinner was served. Crust, by Raymond Tawil, made delicious pizzas, Rita’s ices refreshed the crowd and everyone enjoyed Dough Co. Doughnuts.

The evening was a tremendous success and all walked way inspired and excited about Torah, about Magen David and about the warm and talented faculty at both the elementary and high schools. A big thank you to Marshall and Jeannie Mizrahi for hosting this inspirational night, and a thank you to all of the students, parents, and faculty members who came and showed their dedication to, and support for, MDY.

The New York State Democratic Party, which has always had a moderate stance, is at risk of veering towards the radical left. Recent New York City mid-term elections were crucial to our community. Progressive Democrats, feeling empowered by a handful of high profile victories, have now thrown their weight behind any progressive trying to unseat moderate democratic incumbents.

Virtually all of the competitive elections in Brooklyn, Manhattan, and recently, Queens, are, and have been, decided by Democratic Party primary elections held in June of each year. The Governor, State Senate Majority, State Assembly Majority, Attorney General, Comptroller, Mayor, City Comptroller, every borough District Attorney, NYC Public Advocate, as well as 4 out of 5 Borough Presidents, and 48 of 51 New York City Council members, are all Democrats.

As the city and state continue a leftward tilt, it is clear that the community needs the ability to vote in the Democratic primaries. This will have influence on which Democrats run in the November elections. Strengthening our voting numbers in these primaries greatly encourages candidates to support issues vital to our community. The stark choice these days is between a moderate Democrat and a progressive one.

Since many community members are registered as Republican or Independent, they are excluded from voting in the Democratic primaries.

The SCF has always promoted an agenda of voter registration. Now, we are urging community members, who have not yet registered, to register as Democrats, and for those who are registered Independent or Republican, to change their voter registration to that of Democrat.

An individual must change his/her registered party one year in advance of being able to vote in the primary. Making the switch now would render one eligible to help elect candidates who support our community interests. Of course, in the general election, regardless of one’s party affiliation, he or she may vote for the candidate of his or her choice.

Chaskel Bennett, co-founder of the Flatbush Jewish Community Coalition (FJCC) wrote a powerful Op-Ed article about the diminished influence of Orthodox Jews in which he stated, “Like it or not, Orthodox Jews are doing this to themselves by registering as Republicans in New York City and disqualifying themselves from voting in the Democratic Primaries. Today, the big political battle in New York is no longer between Democrats and Republicans, instead it is the fight between moderate and progressive wings of the Democratic Party.” The SCF wholeheartedly agrees.

The too close for comfort primary for Queens District Attorney held in June, was only settled in August. Tiffany Caban was heavily backed by progressive Democrats. She conveyed reluctance to prosecute anyone other than those committing the most serious crimes. After recounts and protests, she conceded defeat to Melinda Katz, with a margin of only 55 votes. A victory for Caban would have given the progressive left a stronghold in that borough. This proves that every single vote counts, as 90,000 votes were cast in that race.

Registering as a Democrat or switching party registration is not a moral designation, it just gives one the ability to elect a candidate who can win and help our community. We want to make it very clear that this is not an argument to support Democrats over Republicans. We simply need to ensure that the moderate Democrats have our community’s full support and are not driven out by radicals. Political party registration, along with voting, is a critically important practical and tactical tool that permits us to have a voice in every aspect of the political process.

If you are not a registered Democrat and want to change your party registration or to register to vote for the first time, please visit: voterreg.dmv.ny.gov/MotorVoter.

Hurricane Dorian has battered the Bahamas with the strongest recorded Atlantic hurricane in history. 185 mph winds sent thousands scrambling to shelters. The people are in a state of shock. The Abaco Islands and Grand Bahama, where the eye made landfall, are completely devastated.

Chabad of the Bahamas, through its year-round center on Nassau Island,
is on the ground providing essential relief to all those in need. A designated disaster relief fund has been established to assist those most vulnerable and in need. The most urgent needs are supplies such as clean water, food, clothing, medical supplies, first aid kits and generators.

Those who have been the most severely impacted will be helped to recover and rebuild. Supplies and funds are needed to ensure we can help as many people as we can, as quickly and efficiently as possible.

Please contribute or donate in any way you can. All donations to this fund will be used exclusively to fund relief and recovery efforts in areas impacted by the storm. You can donate at: relief.jewishbahamas.com/templates/articlecco_cdo/aid/4481120/jewish/Donate.htm

Lastly, if you know of any persons in need of emergency assistance, please contact us immediately.

In mid-July, I visited Israel as part of a group that included former Governor Mike Huckabee of Arkansas and Nick Langworthy, the newly elected Chairman of the New York State Republican Party. The trip was hosted by the National Council of Young Israel and was intended to raise awareness of Israel and the challenges it faces as the Middle East’s only true Democracy.

Being my first visit to Israel, it truly was an eye-opener; it gave me a new perspective on the news stories that we read and see every day regarding Israel and the tensions in the Middle East. It allowed me to have a first-hand look at the faith of the Jewish people, the closeness and ruthlessness of their enemies and the problems faced by Israel’s government and military as they tirelessly work to protect its citizens.

During my three day stay, I visited numerous locations, including: the new US Embassy in Jerusalem, Hebron, Bethlehem and the West Bank, the Gaza border, the Western Wall and the Yad Vashem Holocaust Memorial.
Without a doubt, my visit to Yad Vashem and my opportunity to pray at the Western Wall were the most moving parts of my trip.

Yad Vashem gave me a new understanding of the unbelievable suffering of the Jewish people at the hands of the Nazi’s and underscores the faith and determination of those who escaped the “final solution” and went on to build the democracy we all know as Israel. It brought new meaning to the word’s “never again” and left a permanent mark on my conscience that we, as Americans, must be at the forefront of the fight against anti-Semitism and any other form of religious discrimination or hate. I also heard the concerns of average Israelis who worry that the US relationship with Israel is fracturing after hearing the anti-Jewish and anti-Israel rhetoric of a handful of Democrats in the US Congress.

Praying at the Western Wall made me contemplate the historic context of the Jewish religion, what Jerusalem means to all people of faith, the huge responsibility Israel has and the example it sets by preserving the rights of Jews, Christians and Muslims to peacefully practice their faiths within yards of one another.

Just as Israel protects the rights of others to freely practice their religion, the United States must continue supporting Israel’s G-d given right to exist and flourish while surrounded by forces that continually plot its downfall. The US must have the courage and fortitude to stand with the people and the government of Israel as they face-down the threats of Iran and its terrorist surrogates. We as a nation must never relinquish the responsibility of speaking out against anti-Semitism in all its forms; whether it’s on the streets of a European capital or in the halls of the US Capitol.

We’ve all heard how, in the first 5½ months of this year, anti-Semitic hate crimes rose by a shocking 82% in New York City. We’ve witnessed how the Boycott, Divestment and Sanctions movement (BDS) is aimed at destabilizing Israel, or we’ve heard the words of anti-Israeli elected officials on the floor of Congress. One thing is clear; anti-Semitism is on the rise and as freedom loving Americans we must stand tall, shoulder-to-shoulder with our Jewish friends and neighbors here in the US and with the State of Israel on the international stage.

No sooner had the wheels of my plane touched down on the tarmac at JFK than I was once again reading news stories about a resolution in Congress, sponsored by Rep. Ilhan Omar that defends the BDS movement and likens it to boycotts of Nazi Germany or the Soviet Union. The cynical words of the resolution make it all too clear where Rep. Omar and her radical-left comrades in Congress stand on the future of Israel and the Jewish people.

When Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez naively and maliciously called centers for illegal immigrants detained by the US Government, “concentration camps” we all gasped. It became obvious that she has no understanding of history, the Holocaust or the truly evil actions of the Nazis. Most importantly, she doesn’t recognize one simple truth, Americans don’t build concentration camps; we liberate them.

The leadership of Yad Vashem has invited AOC to visit. I hope she takes them up on the offer, because after spending a few hours there, she might decide to choose her words more carefully.

As shocking as their words are, the silence from other elected officials, especially the Democrat leadership in Congress, is far more worrisome; don’t they have the courage and decency to condemn their colleagues’ hateful words and actions?

During my five terms in the New York State Assembly, I have always fought hard for the Jewish community and its needs. My first trip to Israel (and I hope there are many more) has hardened my resolve and reaffirmed my belief that the US must never waiver in its support of Israel and its people. If, G-d willing, I am elected to Congress, you have my assurances that I won’t back-down in my support of Israel and the fight to stop anti-Semitism wherever it might emerge.

Councilman Chaim Deutsch recently gathered with NYPD brass, community leaders, and members of the Shomrim Society, the organization of Jewish police officers in the NYPD, to co-name West 12th Street and Surf Avenue in Coney Island Leon Fox Way, in memory and to honor the legacy of NYPD Police Officer Leon Fox. Officer Fox was the first Jewish officer to be killed in the line of duty serving New York City.

Officer Fox, while assigned to the NYPD’s 60th Precinct, was shot and killed while pursuing three robbery suspects—78 years ago. When Officer Albert Mammon told Councilman Deutsch Leon’s tragic story, Deutsch’s response was “We must recognize, honor and remember Officer Fox, he was a hero, it is our duty to do so.”

Before the ceremony could take place, Councilman Deutsch wanted to track down Leon’s living relatives. Using NYPD pension records, he successfully tracked down Leon’s only son, Gerald Fox, a movie producer living in Hollywood.

The Councilman told Gerald and his wife Linda that he would love to honor his father’s memory with a street renaming. Gerald was extremely grateful and immediately planned for the momentous event, traveling 2,700 miles across the country to attend the ceremony in his father’s memory.

The event was packed with community members, elected officials, and NYPD brass, including NYPD First Deputy Commissioner Tucker, Commissioner Bob Ganley, Lieutenant Ira Jablonsky from community affairs and police officers from across Brooklyn. David Heskiel, NYPD Clergy Liaison and special community liaison to Councilman Deutsch was also in attendance, as was Officer Albert Mammon who recited Kaddish in memory of Officer Fox.

A special guest got up to speak, 92 year old Leo Katz. He spoke fondly about Leon, reminiscing about the times Leon would watch over him and his friends in school, when he was a kid. Leon would make sure they left home safely and arrived where they were going safely. Katz told everyone that Leon was the friendliest cop that he has ever met in his lifetime, and that he left an everlasting impression on him.

Thank you to Councilman Deutsch and the NYPD for once again keeping their promise to never forget their fallen officers and their family members.

What do you want most for your children? If you are like most parents, your answer will probably mimic what community parents said when SAFE asked them that very question. They did not mention academic intellect or worldly or material accomplishments. Instead, SAFE found that most parents hoped for their child to be a good and happy person. They used words such as honesty, self-efficacy, purpose, kindness, confidence, empathy and self-love to describe what they want for their children’s future. In summation, we don’t want our children to be depressed or anxious, we want more than that—we want them to flourish.

Lucky for us, research in the field of positive psychology has shown that these kinds of traits and behaviors can be taught; moreover, they should be taught. While 50% of our happiness is genetic, 10% is due to external circumstances and a huge 40% of our happiness is determined by our intentional thoughts, behavior and actions. We can control our well-being, and at SAFE, we want to share that power with our youth.
Meet Cynthia Kassin, SAFE’s new Director of Community Education. Cynthia is overseeing the strategic innovation of The Project Safe School Program and bringing in cutting-edge practices focused on positive youth development. Both SAFE and Cynthia recognize that, as a community, our greatest responsibility is to the next generation. We need to prepare those who come after us with the best social and emotional skills to take on the many challenges of an ever-changing world.

With a BA in child development and happiness from NYU Gallatin, and an MA in Psychology from Pace University, Cynthia is the ideal choice for this new role at SAFE. She completed two years as a teaching assistant at NYU in their immensely popular Science of happiness class and taught an elective at Flatbush HS on the same subject. She was a SAFE teacher, as well. As Cynthia joins the Project SAFE team, she plans to bring more to the students in terms of fostering a lifelong foundation for their overall happiness and well being.

Since 2003, SAFE has been working diligently to educate our youth on the threat of addiction and the necessary life skills that will guard them against life’s challenges. Each week, in a supportive peer forum lead by a SAFE trained teacher, SAFE class gives students a time in their school day to voice their thoughts and questions about everything from personal and social dilemmas to the challenges and anxieties that may arise growing up in our community.

Cynthia plans to further SAFE’s commitment to educate and care for our community’s future generation through updating and revising the content and approach of Project SAFE’s school curriculum, training an incredible group of Project SAFE teachers in the philosophies of positive psychology, and inviting parents and students to collaborate in the classroom.
So, what exactly is positive psychology and how can it help our students not only survive, but also thrive? Positive psychology is the scientific study of what makes life worth living. Using specific practices, interventions and tools, this branch of psychology gives us insight into the practical contributors to our happiness. Studies show that simple techniques, such as keeping a gratitude journal or counting one’s blessings, can alleviate symptoms of depression and anxiety. Flow, or the ability to lose oneself in a positive passion, is another promotion technique that SAFE seeks to encourage, by planning a teen version of the annual summer FARM event, where young adults come together to share music, art and creative expression.

Additionally, Project Safe believes that educating students about adolescent brain growth, sleep, hygiene, mindfulness, and emotional awareness and understanding provides a beautiful opportunity to build our future generation’s resilience, confidence, and self-efficacy so that they will better respond to inevitable challenges.

As Project SAFE moves forward with its exciting improvements, Cynthia acknowledges that while research has finally provided practical tools for living a happy life, our Torah has always been a permanent and pervasive base of these positive psychology teachings. We have a commandment in our Torah to be happy, as is written Vesamachta bechagecha, and our Torah is filled with examples of practices for well-being, such as expressing gratitude every day in prayer. Everything we are learning from research can be found somewhere in Judaism, and Cynthia’s constant aspiration for Project SAFE is to blend the two.

It is our job, as a community of parents, teachers, rabbis, coaches, and other leaders, to help our students not just survive, but also thrive. Cynthia’s willingness to learn from others, as well as her knowledge and interest in the brain development of adolescents, informs her passion for community education and youth advocacy. Blending her passion for guiding our youth and the study of happiness, she hopes to introduce and implement new techniques to our school systems so that our youth have the best resources in order to grow into confident, capable, self-actualized adults. SAFE welcomes her to the team and looks forward to an exciting school year with much in store for our students.

For more information on Project Safe or to volunteer with the School Program, please email Cynthia at cynthia@thesafefoundation.org. For general questions or information about SAFE please email us at ask@thesafeoundation.org or follow us on Instagram @thesafefoundation. If you or a loved one needs help, please call our confidential hotline: (718) GET-SAFE.

Congregation Shaare Tefilah (Eatontown Shul) of Whalepond Road recently marked a special milestone, when the newly-formed Ladies Auxiliary, led by Odette Tebele, hosted their very first event. The hugely successful Bingo Night brought over 200 women together for an evening of fun and festivities, complete with Bingo prizes, as well as numerous door prizes. The participants consisted of year-round residents and summer visitors, members of the Eatontown Shul and every other shul at the Jersey Shore, ranging in age from teenagers to great-grandmothers, proving that Bingo is for everyone! Some women took the opportunity to participate with their extended families, while others got a group of friends together for a girl’s night out.

Less than a month after the formation of the Ladies Auxiliary, three dynamic and energetic volunteers took it upon themselves to spearhead the kickoff event. Danielle Brown, Joy Assoulin, and Margo Braha set the bar for Eatontown Shul’s events very high indeed. They took care of every detail, including securing donations for prizes, supplying refreshments including wine, and running the games.

Shul President Albert Antebi said, “Over the years, the Eatontown Shul has had amazing growth and we felt that the Ladies Auxiliary would inspire the women in our community to organize events for the families of our community. We are excited and confident that this is the start of more amazing events to come!”

The committee hopes to enhance the shul’s activities and create an increased sense of community. Upcoming programs will include pre-holiday Shabbat dinners, couples events, and card tournaments. The youth minyan, classes for men and women, and special holiday events will also reap benefits through the committee’s activities.

Congregation Rabbi Moshe Douek had this to say: “When our shul was first established, it had a small congregation. Everyone lived on the same few blocks. Everyone knew each other. It was like a large family. Over the years, the shul has grown exponentially, with the neighborhood gradually spreading out to include a much larger geographic area. Young families are moving in from out of town, and families from the greater Deal area are joining our Shul. It’s a beautiful thing, with a drawback. The members of our shul often don’t know one another. The men come to shul on Shabbat and have an opportunity to meet there. The women often don’t have that opportunity. We wanted to do something to bring them together. Last year we hosted a lovely Shabbat dinner for our new members. It was a great event that introduced neighbors to one another, and was the springboard for many new friendships. The Ladies Auxiliary is another way to unite the members of our shul, and help them feel like one big family again—a really big family.”

The Bingo event surpassed expectations, requiring additional tables to be added numerous times. The enthusiasm from the community was so encouraging to the committee, they cannot wait to bring you their next event. Keep an eye out for what is sure to be a host of amazing events from this motivated group of women. If you would like to join the committee, please contact Jennifer at the shul office at (732) 272-1143.

Laurie Goldman & Olana Cohen

RBG—The Story of Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg

PROPEL had the pleasure of co-sponsoring an event at the JCC in Deal, along with the NJ Shore Film Festival. We featured the documentary RBG—The Story of Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg. This inspiring documentary about 86-year-old Ruth Bader Ginsburg, by Betsy West and Julie Cohen and co-produced by Storyville Films and CNN Films, describes the life of a woman raising a family with her devoted husband while fighting for women’s equal rights and then rising to be supreme court justice.

Over fifty men and women gathered at the JCC for wine and cheese and to watch this documentary about a strong, Jewish woman leader. We are grateful to Gem Suslovich, who monitored an interesting talk-back at the end of the movie. Gem reminded the audience that all women can relate to the story of RBG. It is the story of working hard to achieve goals, making a difference in the world, and remaining loyal to your family.

Ruth Bader was born in Brooklyn. Her father was a Jewish immigrant from Ukraine and her mother was born in New York to Austrian Jewish parents. While attending Cornell University, she met her husband Martin Ginsberg at the age of 17. In 1956, she enrolled in Harvard Law School—one of nine women in a class with 500 men. Justice Ginsburg is a prominent legal figure, but she is also a wife, a mother and a grandmother. Her granddaughter, who recently graduated from Harvard Law School, affectionately refers to her as her “Bubbie.”

The movie describes a beautiful and supportive marriage between Martin and Ruth. Their relationship allowed for both professional and personal successes. RBG can be credited with being a champion of women’s rights in the work place. Many of her cases were ground breaking, and resulted in changing the paradigm for working women in this country. The movie also depicted the friendship between Justice Ruth Ginsburg and Justice Anton Scalia. Although they shared very different views, they had great respect and admiration for one another.

A special thank you to Marcy Feldman and Steven and Esther Doueck for helping to coordinate this event.

Vision Mapping with Alice Chera

PROPEL also hosted Alice Chera, in Bradley Beach, for an inspiring vision mapping session with a group of women. It was truly a motivating afternoon, as women of all ages created their own vision boards—each telling a story that represented her individuality, her accomplishments and her aspirations.

Bradley Beach is always a sentimental setting for our community. This historical beach town represents a simpler, less complicated time, and it always evokes a happy feeling in its visitors.

We are extremely thankful to Alice Chera, a certified career coach, who is always encouraging women to be the best that they can be. Alice is a true role model for women and it is always a pleasure hearing her words of wisdom. Many women who have attend a vision mapping program have followed up with PROPEL to pursue their professional goals.

Coming Soon

We look forward to hosting additional PROPEL events this summer, including a panel discussion in New Jersey with women with various careers, including photographers, a nurse, a teacher, a yoga instructor, a pastry chef and a custom designer.

Follow PROPEL on Instagram @PropelNetwork to find out information about upcoming PROPEL programs and events.

If you are interested in a career, please reach out to PROPEL. We can help you fulfill your professional goal. Call 646-494-0822 or email info@thepropelnetwork.org.q