Home Blog Page 72

DSN’s Summer Baseball League

Baseball season may be over for this year, but the memories and friendships that DSN fostered in its Baseball League over this past sum-mer are everlasting.

Over 300 children, ranging in age from kindergarten to 5th grade, par-ticipated in a weekly Sunday baseball league. It was the largest participation rate to date, multiplying almost six times from the opening season in 2013!

Volunteer parent coach-es instructed the 32 teams each Sunday, spanning eight fields and attracting up to 1,000 spectators weekly. They taught the kids the rules and strategy of the game, with an emphasis on sportsmanship, camaraderie and team spirit.

Sol Chehebar, a DSN summer head coach, remarked, “DSN has transformed sports in the commu-nity and I am very grateful for the opportunity to coach my sons in the summer league. There is no better feeling than watching kids ages 5-10 learn, excel, and enjoy the game through the lens of a parent. It has become a highlight of the summer for the kids, parents and grandpar-ents! Thank you DSN, for your care and attention to the details. That’s what makes the league the greatest possible experience!

”The end of the season culmi-nates with an incredible trophy cer-emony, where the coaches give out awards, and the audience gets to enjoy a highlight reel from the season.

Jon Entel, DSN’s Director of Sports Leagues, can’t get over what a successful season it was. “This league is truly amazing. It’s an incredible community feeling with parent coaches teaching their chil-dren the game of baseball, amongst many life lessons during the season. May the DSN league be blessed to have many more years of growth and success!”

Living with Tourette Syndrome

Teen boy making silly grimace - funny surprised face. Playful child isolated on white background. Emotional portrait of caucasian teenager looking at camera.

Imagine standing in line at a supermarket, at the next register you see a mom with a child of about nine years old. While unloading your groceries on the belt, you hear the child start to swear using a socially unacceptable word over and over again. You get uncomfortable and stare at the mom who is just standing there and continuing to empty her cart as if nothing is happening. She doesn’t stop him or reprimand him. You are probably thinking what kind of mother doesn’t stop and reprimand the child for speaking like that? What kind of mother allows her child to talk like that?

The answer: A mother with a child who has Tourette Syndrome (Tourette’s)—and she’s so embarrassed she wants the floor to swallow her. When you see children with special needs, your heart melts and if they walk funny, drool, or do anything that would normally be socially unacceptable, it’s acceptable, because it is justified by their special needs. A child/teen with Tourette Syndrome (which is one type of tic disorder) looks and acts normal until they have a tic. So, the parents and child are judged and embarrassed unless the people around them are educated and understand that he suffers from Tourette Syndrome.

Tourette Syndrome is a problem with the nervous system that causes the individual to make movements or sounds called tics, that they can’t control. It often starts in childhood and is usually more common in boys than girls. For most children, symptoms tend to improve by the end of adolescence with a small number becoming symptom free. The main symptom is tics, some are so mild they are not even noticeable, others happen often and are obvious. Stress, excitement, being sick, or tired can make them worse. There are two types of tics, motor tics involve movement, which include, but are not limited to eye blinking, facial grimacing, mouth twitching, head bobbing/jerking, shoulder shrugging, neck stretching, and arm jerking. Complex motor tics involve multiple muscle groups or combinations of movements and tend to be slower and more purposeful in appearance, for example hopping, twirling, and jumping. Vocal/phonics tics produce a sound. They include, but are not limited to sniffing, throat clearing, grunting, hooting, shouting, barking, yelping, coughing, repeating what someone else says, swearing. Complex vocal tics are words or phrases that may or may not be recognizable but that consistently occur out of context. In some cases, the words may be inappropriate, such as swear words, ethnic slurs, or other socially unacceptable words or phrases.

Before a tic occurs, (it has been explained that) the individual gets a sensation that can feel like a tingle or tension. The movement makes the sensation go away. They might be able to hold the tic back for a little while but can’t stop them from happening. Doctors aren’t sure why, but about half of people with Tourette’s also have symptoms of ADHD. (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) and may have trouble paying attention, sitting still, and finishing tasks. They may have trouble focusing and paying attention because they are thinking about their tics and worrying about who may be noticing them. Sometimes anxiety, learning disabilities, such as dyslexia and OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, like washing hands repeatedly) are effects of Tourette’s, as well.

Children/teens experiencing Tourette’s may be frightened or embarrassed by the disruptive nature of their tics at school, in the community, and with extended family. When Tourette’s is not understood by teachers, peers, family or people in the community, the child/teen with Tourette’s may feel rejected or ridiculed, and the impact it could have is devastating.
The teacher or family member needs to prepare the classmates, peers, and other family members with appropriate information about this condition, so they will feel comfortable with the child. This can prevent bullying and rejection before it starts.

People who are not familiar with the condition may believe that the individual is deliberately trying to attract attention or be disruptive. Fortunately, there is a lot that everyone around the individual can do to ensure that he/she can succeed in school or in life in general and have a healthy social life.

Get a thorough evaluation of your child. It will provide information about exactly how Tourette Syndrome (and any other conditions your child may have), will impact his/her life. You will get a report with specifics that you can share with the school, to help the teachers and everyone else that is in contact with your child, understand his/her needs. You must take a personalized approach, because each individual is unique; Tourette’s does not affect everyone the same way. Different strategies work for different people. Use the results of the evaluation, along with your knowledge of your child, to develop a plan that could work for him/her.

While the tics associated with Tourette’s are involuntary, a few treatment options do exist. In some cases, vocal tics can be lessened with medication. Getting proper treatment for other conditions your child may have such as ADHD, OCD, or even depression can help reduce tics. Be sure to discuss any medications prescribed for these conditions with your child’s doctor, as some may increase tics.

There are also behavioral-based approaches that may help reduce tics. Behavioral approaches may look for situations that trigger or increase tics, so that the child/teen can find new ways to cope with or avoid the triggers. Discipline and punishment will not work. The individual cannot stop a tic once the sensation begins. Tics are often described as an action that must be completed, like a sneeze. While some may be able to delay a tic for a short while, they cannot stop it, and unfortunately stress will increase tics in some people. Punishing someone for having a tic may lead to an increase in tics.

Encourage participation in extracurricular activities. Sports can provide more physical activity, which has shown to help decrease tics in some children and teens. It can also provide more opportunities to create friendships and work on social skills, which can be challenging for children/teens with Tourette’s.

Often the hardest part of living with Tourette Syndrome or living with someone diagnosed with it, is dealing with the embarrassment or frustration of having tics that can’t be controlled, and fitting in socially can be very hard for the child/teen. So, if you happen to be somewhere and notice a child with a tic, don’t stare or comment! Either look away as if you didn’t notice anything, or try and comfort the parent with encouraging words.

Kids & The Internet How To Keep Them Safe & Manage Their Online Lives

Young people are spending more time online than ever before, and this trend will not be reversing. A recent survey states that 95% of teenagers report owning a smartphone (or at least having access to one), and that 45% of teenagers are online, on a near-constant basis. Adolescents have limitless options when online, making it important for parents to teach them how to be savvy about their online presence.

SAFE knows firsthand about the need to educate students on the importance of Internet safety and the appropriate use of cell phones, social media platforms, and other online trends. Project SAFE’s classroom curriculum currently includes topics and lesson plans focused on staying safe online. Students in our classrooms are leaning lessons, and tackling tough questions, such as:

Q: How much and when is it appropriate to share personal information online?
Q: Do colleges and employers really Google you before they make a decision?
Q: What length of screen time is too much?
Q: How do you manage friend requests and online communication with potential strangers?

These types of questions and concerns continue to evolve, as technology trends and platforms become omnipresent in our children’s live. Project SAFE works to stay up-to-date on these trends and provide current, clear, and relatable information for our students. These lessons work best when they are reaffirmed at home, therefore, SAFE encourages parents to discuss these important Internet realities and safety tips with their children:

  1. Not everyone is who they say they are online. And sometimes the people you know in real life don’t behave the same way online, so it is best to remain in control of your personal information by not distributing it. When people want to get to know you using false identities online, it is often called a sockpuppet profile, or catfishing. Both center on hiding the person’s real identity in order to bully or lure others into inappropriate texting, emotional and financial scams, or to find out personal information.
  2. Financial information should never be shared online with others. When online, as a general rule, individuals should only purchase products from reputable and verified companies, and financial information should never be distributed via social media, messaging platforms, or other one-on-one forms of communication. Friends don’t ask online for your credit card information; they’ll call you if they really need it. If you find yourself questioning if a company or online interaction is a scam—it probably is—and communication should stop immediately.
  3. Online is permanent. Yes, there are companies that specialize in Internet scrubbing or disrupting search engine results, but they cost thousands of dollars and aren’t always effective. Even if an app claims to be secure, someone can still take a screenshot of it. Then they can show it to someone else. There is no real assurance that others will not see it (and potentially store it). A rule of thumb for social media platforms: if you are not comfortable with a post or remaining online indefinitely, you should not put it up at all.
  4. Discuss privacy options and parental control. The majority of social media platforms offer several forms of privacy and profile access. All parents should sit with their children and review the level of access their children’s profiles permit—is it just for friends, or is it for friends of friends, and other individuals? Together, you and your children can find permission levels that you are comfortable with and you can help them understand why it is important to have a higher level of control over their information and pictures.
  5. Limit screen time. Setting screen time limits is a challenging, yet important aspect of Internet safety (especially with young children). There is a wide range of thought available regarding the appropriate amount of time pre-teens and young adults should spend online, and it is a decision that should be made on an individual basis, based on factors like age, interests, performance in school, social activities, etc. With that being said, maintaining a time limit and sense of boundary helps reinforce the idea that technology, while a wonderful privilege and increasing necessity in everyday life, must be handled with the proper degree of restraint, caution and wisdom.

SAFE believes that an open, honest and transparent dialogue remains key in establishing appropriate measures of Internet and technological safety in one’s household. While it is important to address these very real concerns with your children, it is also important to acknowledge the benefits, joys, and privileges of using the Internet. In emphasizing both the pros and cons of technology, parents are more likely to come across as genuine and authentic in their concerns for their children.

Social network and new media web safety and Internet security concept 3d illustration.

One important recommendation is for parents and caregivers to familiarize themselves with the platforms their children are using, as this will help increase their overall knowledge of the risks and rewards their children are facing.

Allow your children to share their motivations and wishes for Internet and social media usage, and make the conversation an open and transparent dialogue.

It is important to have these conversations, because children will inevitably learn how to like, comment, and swipe up—somewhere—it’s better they learn from their parents and trusted adults.

Magen David Yeshivah High School Remembers Eli Chalouh A”H

The terrorist strikes perpetrated on September 11, 2001 impacted all New Yorkers. They were particularly painful for Brooklyn’s Jewish Syrian community, because that morning, Eli Chalouh A”H, a young Syrian Jew, woke up, went to work, and never returned. He was working at the NYS Department of Taxation and Finance, in the World Trade Center—he was only 23 years old. Eli left behind his parents, siblings, and a legacy of kindness, dedication, and perseverance.

Eli graduated from Magen David Yeshivah High School in 1996. Associate Principal Esther Tokater, along with a number of Eli’s classmates, many of whom are parents of current MDY students, organized a hesed event in his honor, on the 18th anniversary of the attacks.

The class of 96 invited representatives from many community organizations that are near and dear to their hearts. They, and current MDY students, committed to fulfilling Eli’s legacy of kindness by doing hesed projects for the organizations, in his name.
Alumnus Albert Nigri, father of freshman Rosie Nigri, kicked off the event with an emotional speech in which he shared high school memories of Eli. He said Eli treated others with kindness and was always willing to help his classmates. Albert recalled Eli’s arrival from Syria, at the age of 14, and the language and cultural barriers he overcame to succeed in the United States. Eli seemed to be living the American dream, until his life was tragically cut short.

After Mr. Nigri’s speech, the audience was inspired to participate in hesed activities. Raquel Haber, mother of MDY senior Gabriel Haber, Jamie Waingort, (my mother) and mother of freshman Emily, and Marcy Franco, mother of senior Morris Franco organized a group to cook for the SBH Food Pantry. The crew prepared and packaged mazza, which was delivered to Sephardic Bikur Holim, that evening.

Albert Salama, father of freshman Ninette and junior Jacques, introduced students to Bonei Olam, an organization that helps couples achieve their dream of parenthood. Students were so moved by the work that the organization does, they committed to do mitzvot in honor of families faced with fertility challenges. They wrote notes to the families, describing the commitment they were taking on in their honor, and telling them that they’re praying for them to achieve their dreams.

Albert Nigri and Alan Nasar, father of sophomore Sarah, and senior Joel, helped students put together care packages to be distributed to Hatzalah volunteers. The packages included snacks and letters of encouragement and appreciation for our heroic, first responders.

Morris Cattan, father of junior Diane Cattan, helped students design sweatshirts for the orphans of Bet Elazraki, in Israel. Students drew original designs which Mr. Cattan will turn into actual sweatshirts, and personally deliver to the orphanage in Israel this spring.
Richie Chalme, father of sophomore Jamie and senior Robyn, demonstrated the important role music plays in healing, explaining that he uses music when he visits the elderly and the sick.

Sally Smouha, mother of junior Marc and freshman Abraham, and Sally Franco, mother of sophomore Allegra, invited a number of community seniors citizens to the event. They were delighted to go head-to-head with the students in a few intense rounds of Bingo.

In addition, MDY was honored to host members of the Chalouh family, including Eli’s sister Sarah, his aunt, and nephew. Eli’s nephew remarked that entering a school that he was not familiar with, seeing dozens of students he never encountered, doing hesed in memory of an uncle he never met, was a truly remarkable feeling. He was excited to meet his uncle’s classmates, who could share stories about him.

Walking around the building, and seeing classroom upon classroom filled with students doing hesed, was truly inspiring and certainly elevated the neshama (soul) of Eli Chalouh A”H.

Doing hesed is a beautiful way to honor someone you love and ensure his/her legacy will endure for years to come.

A Night To Remember

It was a night to remember for PROPEL, as the nonprofit organization celebrated its accomplishments on September 23rd at the Moise Safra Community Center (MSCC) in Manhattan.

Approximately 150 guests— including community leaders and PROPEL board members, professionals and clients—gathered in the beautiful ballroom of MSCC to honor the wonderful women who inspired the PROPEL funds and schools Joyce Silverman, an interior decorator extraordinaire; and Cookie Cohen, an inspiring young entrepreneur.

Harry Adjmi, our community’s well-known emcee at many charity events, opened the event with a warm welcome. Then a video montage portraying the accomplishments of PROPEL graduates and events during the past year was featured on large screens.

PROPEL invests in coaching and guiding women to be the best they can be, by finding suitable careers that generate income. PROPEL focuses on careers that make sense and honor the traditional values of our community. Women are heroines—they are balancing professional and family life successfully.

The evening was beautifully organized to recognize the co-founders of PROPEL Rebecca Harary, in tribute to her mother Joyce Salame (in conjunction with proud son-in-law Marshall Aronow) and Ezra Ashkenazi, in tribute to his wife Sharyn. Rebecca and Ezra described how PROPEL was formed and how the organization has grown over the last four years.

Joyce Salame and Sharyn Ashkenazi, who inspired the PROPEL Leadership and Empowerment Funds, respectively, were each presented with an artistic rendering of Petihat Parnassa, the prayer for Sustenance, we recite on the High Holidays. That’s what PROPEL does—it helps families by guiding women into the workforce to provide a much needed second income.

PROPEL proudly honored the women that inspired some of the PROPEL schools: Rachel Khafif presented an award to her mother Robin Braka (School of Art); Ivette Dabah presented an award to her daughter-in-law Barbara Dabah (School of Technology); Freda Haddad Sutton presented awards to her daughter-in-laws Sharon Haddad and Nellie Haddad (School of Wellness); and Jimmy Haber was presented an award in memory of his wife Amy Haber A”H (School of Education). Each honoree was presented a plaque which contained the prayer Eshet Hayil, recited every Friday night. The prayer extols the virtues of women and enumerates both the familial and professional roles that women embody.

Sarah Gindi, longtime friend of our honoree Joyce Silverman (The Illumination Awardee) spoke eloquently about Joyce’s talents as an interior designer, as well as her benevolence. Joyce created The Nest Fund, which donates gently used furniture to those less fortunate.

Cookie Cohen, a role model for her generation, told the story of CocoBox, a successful start-up business supplying recipes with creative ingredients to a growing clientele. Her sister-in-law Sonia Cohen exquisitely elaborated on Cookie’s tremendous accomplishments and presented Cookie with The Young Leadership Award.

Probably the moment of the evening which allowed the guests to understand the instrumental work of PROPEL was when graduate, Frieda Schweky passionately told her story from the podium. Frieda is now a photographer and supports her family for the moment, as her husband builds his business. She acknowledged that none of this could have been done without PROPEL believing and investing in her. We are very proud of Frieda!

PROPEL is very thankful for a dedicated Board of Directors led by Co-Presidents Haim Dabah and Jacqueline Harary and Vice Presidents Michael Haddad and Gayle Krost, a committed professional team, and, of course, the clients who make the organization proud every day.
PROPEL is extremely appreciative of all the community members who support this organization, and all the donations pledged at the event. The organization offers financial scholarships to its clients to cover part of the cost for certification courses and exemplifies “smart giving.”

By investing in women, each donation evolves into a salary which can help support a family, and ease the financial burden which is a reality in today’s world. As the Rambam proclaims, teaching a person a trade is one of the highest forms of tzedakah. PROPEL is committed to the financial success and future of the community by inspiring women to feel confident in careers of their choice.

PROPEL helps women discover their passion, profession and earning potential. PROPEL invests in family—one woman at a time!

If you are interested in a career, please reach out to PROPEL. We can help you fulfill your professional goal. Call 646-494-0822 or email info@thepropelnetwork.org.

Follow PROPEL on Instagram @PropelNetwork to find out information about upcoming programs and events.

Read Jewish Image Magazine Online – November 2019

Read Jewish Image Magazine Online – November 2019

Click Here

To View Jewish Image Magazine in PDF

Click here

The Accessible Start Up Nation

In 20 short years, Israel, the Start Up Nation, is on the road to becoming Israel, the Accessible Start Up Nation.

Thanks to two Israeli presidents, a determined IDF Lieutenant-Colonel paralyzed in a Cobra helicopter crash, the Access Israel organization, and the newly formed Friends of Access Israel (FAISR), the world now looks to Israel as a model in accessibility, services and sensitivity to people with disabilities.

When Yuval Wagner was a child, he and his siblings helped take care of a father who used a wheelchair. They often carried him, as Israel was not accessible at the time. Wagner grew up and served as an Israel Air Force combat pilot. In 1987, at the age of 22, he and his squad were on a training exercise. The helicopter’s rotor malfunctioned, and all on board were killed—except for Wagner—he became a person with quadriplegia.

Following a long rehabilitation, Wagner returned to the Air Force, completed his degree in business management, got married and started a family. In the late 1990’s, the Wagners were excited to go on a vacation in the north of Israel. His wife made calls to make certain the accommodations were accessible. When Wagner arrived, he learned that the bathroom was not accessible.

He was frustrated, angry and determined. In 1999, he dashed off a letter to Israel’s President at the time, Ezer Weizman, a former combat pilot, commander of the Israeli Air Force and Minister of Defense. Weizman, the 7th president of Israel, invited Wagner to meet in person, where he apologized for Israel’s lack of accessibility, ordered him to start an NGO (non-governmental organization) to provide accessibility for the disabled and elderly, and invited Wagner to attend an official opening of the soon-to-be new organization in the main hall of the president’s residence.

The new organization would be known as Access Israel. The organization continues to grow, evolve, and lead the way for accessibility in Israel and around the world.

“We are the only Israeli organization that focuses on accessibility and inclusion—not only for people in wheelchairs, not only for people who are blind or who have hearing impairments—but for all kinds of disabilities and in all fields of life,” reported Wagner. Access Israel strives to integrate people with disabilities into all parts of Israeli society by focusing on dignity, equal rights, and maximum independence.

The organization has dramatically improved accessibility for thousands of Israelis, by promoting accessible environments, increasing awareness, and helping draft laws and regulations. Access Israel has helped make it possible for wheelchair users to access such tourist attractions as the Old City of Jerusalem and the Western Wall.

Alan T. Brown, the Director of Public Impact for the Reeve Foundation in the United States and a person with quadriplegia, can attest to Jerusalem and Israel’s efforts to increase accessibility. Several years ago, Brown met Access Israel CEO Michal Rimon, expressed his desire to visit Israel, and shared concerns about lack of accessibility. Rimon enthusiastically invited Brown to Israel where he experienced accessibility first hand. “Something like this has to be done in America—something that is proactive and aggressive in attaining accessibility for all. I even went on the tour under the Kotel walls in a wheelchair!”

Brown experienced Israel’s advances in both physical accessibility and in leading the way in changing attitudes towards people with disabilities. “I am amazed at how Israel is using more than ramps to include the disabled. They are also doing it through corporate sensitivity training.”

Brown contacted his lifelong friend, Jamie Lassner and said, “In Israel they do it with much more dignity and we need to bring that worldwide. Jamie, are you in?” Brown and Lassner have been instrumental in starting Friends of Access Israel, which will help share the work of Access Israel more widely, and will help Wagner realize his goal of having the world view Israel as the Accessible Startup Nation.

A recent gathering in Jerusalem celebrated the 20th anniversary of Access Israel. Israel’s President Reuven Rivlin, members of Knesset, Access Israel staff and supporters, and leaders of the newly created Friends of Access Israel celebrated the organization’s strides in services, technology, education and advocacy on behalf of people with disabilities.

Rivlin congratulated Wagner and Access Israel for their “tenacity, futuristic vision, and drive for making Israel one of the most accessible countries in the world.” He acknowledged that the organization is improving the lives of people worldwide and spoke personally about how his late wife, who became disabled later in life, and benefitted from the work of Access Israel.

Michal Rimon addressed the gathering, “When I joined Access Israel 12 years ago, we were a small organization with a big goal—to break through barriers and enable people with disabilities to dream and fulfil their dreams.” Rimon, Wagner, and CFO Rani Benjamini have consulted internationally on accessibility and have shared the work of Access Israel at conferences in Russia, Spain, Latvia, Austria, and Ecuador. It is one of four organizations which advise the United Nations Convention on the Rights of Persons with Disabilities (CRDP).

Rimon is excited to collaborate with FAISR and its Executive Director, Jamie Lassner. This new organization has already launched a well-attended sensitivity training dinner at NYU, cohosted by Realize Israel. They are planning such programs as Accessibility Accelerating Sensitivity Training Trips to several North American cities, Accessible Group Tours of Israel, Expeditions and The FAISR Accessibility Accelerator Tech Conference. Through these initiatives, organization leaders will travel to communities in the US to increase awareness of accessibility and inclusion, they will offer accessible Israel trips, climb Mount Kilimanjaro and host a conference which promotes accessible Israeli technologies.

Jamie Lassner served for several years as Director of Student Life at Magen David Yeshivah Elementary School. He learned of the work of Access Israel through Brown and through a visit to Israel last summer.

“I was amazed by the global difference they were making with their proactive strategies and programs. They had no global boundaries and a robust all-inclusive mission to gain equality and access for all disabled and elderly persons,” said Lassner who then decided to create FAISR. “As they say, the rest is history!” Lassner and board members Alan Brown and Abraham Eisenstat, friends from their many years, credit their late fathers for inspiring their work with FAISR. “They always made sure that all individuals coming into their community felt welcome.”

Rimon looks forward to collaborating with her American counterparts. “We also can’t ignore a sense of Israeli pride as we serve as an example to the whole world and unite on a common global issue. We have already learned a lot from our FAISR partners and find ourselves looking towards the future with great excitement at the vital things we will accomplish together.”

Wagner added, “L’Chaim and Ya’alah” (onward) on our joint global goal to change the quality of life for the biggest minority of the world—the disabled. Together we are going to do amazing things for accessibility and inclusion, both in Israel and America.”

At the 20th Anniversary gathering, FAISR received a welcome endorsement from President Rivlin. “Our friends from abroad, from the United States—Welcome! We appreciate very much what you are doing, because this is a humanitarian need for everyone to respect human beings as human beings, not only as an Israeli or American, Brit, or Russian. We appreciate your cooperation and partnership. G-d Bless You!”

FAISR is a non-profit United States based 501-3C organization. You can follow then on Instagram: @f.Aisr, or on facebook: faisr.Org. For more info, email info@faisr.Org

Conscious Parenting Building Strong Relationships for Life

Recently, about 50 young mothers gathered at the home of Joyce Ashkenazi for a SAFE sponsored parenting workshop. Guests were welcomed with a coffee bar by Brooklyn Baristas and were served delicious, healthy appetizers, as they sat down to learn about the emotional connections they build with their children each day. The topic, Conscious Parenting, was selected by SAFE’s Conscious Parenting Committee because building strong, healthy relationships with our children is one of the best ways to prevent them from adopting risky behaviors as they grow.

Corie Adjmi, chair of the committee, opened the discussion by reminding the crowd about their previous SAFE Talk, which was held at the home of Lorayne and Gabriel Shehebar. Corie then handed the discussion over to Dr. Tamar Perlman, a specialist in child psychology, who engaged the group with her warmth, sincerity, and tremendous insight into building meaningful relationships with our children. She shared her expertise on healthy family attachments and the essential nature of the bond between a mother and her child. When that attachment is strong, the child feels loved and supported, and their mother is the first person they want to share their successes with and the first person they go to for help fixing mistakes. The more trust that is built, the more our children let us into their lives, the more we can guide them in the right direction and the more self-esteem they feel.

Some of the other important takeaways from the workshop included suggestions that we adopt a curiosity about our children and their inner world; listening more and talking less; being empathic while still setting boundaries and maintaining discipline; and grounding our children in positive words and experiences.

Dr. Perlman noted that just as a mother would instinctively respond to her baby smiling at her by smiling back, our young children need and gravitate toward that same type of responsiveness. These gestures of love build self-esteem and the confidence to go out into the world and make smart decisions. The greatest way for us to create bonds and have impact on our children is by maintaining empathy and interest, and letting them know that their emotional wants and needs always matter to us. This is how we develop the trusting relationships that last a lifetime.

With all of the mothers in the room striving to be perfect for their children, one of the biggest points Dr. Perlman made is that research shows that parents don’t have to be perfect all the time for kids to grow up healthy. No one—parent, spouse, family, or friend—can always meet every need of their loved ones, but we all feel the pressure to do so. As long as moms are connecting and supporting and encouraging their children regularly, as they grow, children will know that their mothers are always there when they need them. Even if moms have to pay attention to other children or loved ones for just a moment! It is the consistent responses that are the key to forming healthy attachments with our children and key for children to know that they don’t have to be anxious; even if mom is helping a sibling, as soon as she’s free she’ll be there for you. It sends the message that the child is not alone with life’s demands. This workshop, and the many others to come, are about SAFE helping parents broaden their skills so everyone has the tools they need to provide the best foundation for their families.

A Dance of Love

Two 13 year old girls, Rachel Fallas and Samantha Sutton, recently organized a dance competition in honor of their dear friend and classmate, Renee Dayan (Rina Chaya Bat Leah), who has been in the hospital for the past eight months.

They came up with the idea for the competition after they saw their friend Jamie Chalme selling sweatshirts that said “Team Renee,” with a prayer for her healing.

“We thought, we should do something in her honor, too, because we love her. Renee loved to dance, so we thought a dance competition would be very apropos,” said Samantha.

Everyone they told about the contest wanted to participate, including community dance instructors, who were happy to choreograph routines for the girls. Teams were made (8 teams of 8 to 10 girls), and everyone was anxious to learn their routines.

Before the day of the event, Rachel and Samantha spent all their time making plans. They decided to donate all proceeds to the Special Children’s Center in honor of Renee’s refuah shelema. They made sure there would be water bottles, sweatshirts, and t-shirts, all with the Team Renee logo, and took care of all the other details—little and big.

The Sunday morning of the event, seventy 7th and 8th grade girls gathered outside Rachel’s house to begin learning their dances. There were enough instructors involved for each team to have their own.

The girls practiced outdoors on the lawn. Everywhere you looked there were girls laughing, dancing, and having fun, and they picked up the moves effortlessly. Then, as if in the blink of an eye, it was time for the competition. The girls performed all of their dance steps flawlessly in front of three judges. Once all the teams had finished, it was up to the judges to deliberate and announce a winner, which wasn’t an easy task. Once the scores were tallied, Renee Marcus’ and Michelle Dweck’s team were the winners. Each of the girls took home a trophy with the Team Renee logo.

The dancing was wonderful, but the highlight of the day was when Lauren Dayan, Renee’s mother, video chatted with Renee, so she was able to see how much she was loved. The smile on her face was priceless!

Renee’s mother was so happy, she thanked all the girls for doing this tremendous mitzvah for her daughter.

Rachel and Samantha would like to thank all of the dance teachers: Paula and Linda Tawil, Helen Shalam, Shula Mann, Renee Marcus, Michelle Dweck, Lauren Lahar, and Margo Dayan. The day couldn’t have happened without their help.

“This was the best day of the summer! I feel so proud of myself and hope we can do this annually,” said a very joyous Rachel, shortly after the event, when she realized that the day she and Samantha had worked so hard for was a great success. Thank you to everyone who joined them on that magical day!

Marrying Late In Life A Woman’s Perspective

It was eye-opening reading a man’s point of view about how it feels to get married later in life, in last month’s IMAGE article “Change of Heart.” It prompted me to write about how it felt for me, as a woman, to get married later in life as well. We stand to learn so much from hearing other people’s tales, and the lessons they’ve learned. The irony is all along I thought that women suffered more than men, and that men had it so much easier!

When my friends and I were 16, my best friend got engaged. At 16, we went from first dates, to boyfriends, to engagements. By the time graduation came around, seven girls had gotten married! It was amazing! I didn’t see that for myself, because I honestly didn’t feel mature enough for marriage—but I had time.

At 19, the dates I was going on were not exactly what I thought they would be. The guys weren’t the coolest or best looking, but they were nice. Then, I met a really great guy, and we started dating. He took me to a lot of fun places. We went out for dinners and on double dates.

We were having a great time, so I was surprised when my mother said, “He’s not really right for you.” I think she thought he wasn’t from a family that she wanted for me. I thought he was a good guy and his parents seemed nice, but she didn’t approve and he could feel it. After 6 months we broke up. I was still sure the right guy would come along.

So, I continued to date. That summer was all about parties, the Casino, and getting dressed up. It was also about regrouping. Since my closest friends had gotten married, I needed to find another group to hang out with, and so I did. With a smile on my face and a great attitude, I returned to the social scene—but sometimes it was exhausting!

All I could remember was my family—cousins, aunts, and uncles—always asking, “are you dating?” How are the Center trips and the Casino?” “Did you meet anyone?” It was too much. I wanted to tell them I was dating someone, just to get them off my back. When I did say I was seeing someone, they’d want to know if it was serious, so I started to date guys longer than I really wanted to, just because I didn’t want to be alone, and I didn’t want to answer all the questions my relatives and friends asked.

When I was 20, a guy friend of mine told me that when a girl matures—when she’s around 26—she looks her best. This gave me a whole new perspective. I started looking forward to getting older, instead of worrying about it. It turns out, he was right! When I turned 26, the guys who were interested in me were the best guys from the best families. So, I dated a lot and had quite a few boyfriends, but what’s the point, if I didn’t want to marry any of them? Slowly, I got older. When I turned 32, I was still single.

What in the world happened? How did I slip through the cracks, I wondered. I was pretty, smart, and from a nice family. Why was I going to the birthday parties and bar mitzvahs of my friends’ kids?

The year I met my husband, I was 36. Ten people—literally—not exaggerating—suggested that I go out with him. They all told him that he should go out with me, as well. We weren’t interested, because we had gone on a date when I was 23, and it was not a good one. Luckily, Hashem had other plans.

One Saturday night, he came over to talk to me at a party. I actually walked away, to go back to my friends, but he watched me walk away, clearly he wanted to talk to me, so I went back to talk to him. We liked each other, dated for two months, then got engaged. No one could believe, how in the blink of an eye, it just happened. No issues, no stories, it just worked. I wish it would be that quick and easy for all singles. I spent all those years going to parties to meet people. Would you believe he never went to any parties, except for the one where we met.

The bottom line is this—there’s a feeling a girl gets as she ages— it’s the fear of missing the boat, of her biological clock ticking. She starts to wonder if there are any good guys left and if she should freeze her eggs. She wonders, why me? Any guy would be lucky to get me.

I know so many of you, out there, have similar feelings. I wish everyone finds the happiness that I have found. But id like to zero in on a specific point—I didn’t settle, but I became more open minded. When we met, my husband and I were on different religious levels. Perhaps when I was younger, that would have been a deal breaker. Being older, I was able to see that he’s a great man and we’re wonderful together. Religious levels didn’t matter at that point. Be open minded.

You never know where you’ll meet him or who he is, so try to remain positive. I know first hand how hard that is. However, your chances of meeting someone when you are down on yourself are very slim. I focused on who I was, and what I had to offer. I believed in myself, completely.

There were times I wondered if I missed something. I went to classes and received blessings from rabbis. Finally, I decided to put my fate in G-d’s hands. I believed wholeheartedly that there was no one else I could depend on—not my parents, my friends, or a matchmaker. I prayed often and with all my heart. I’m not quite sure if there’s a formula for meeting the right person and getting married, but I do know that somewhere along the line I broke the wall that stood between me and getting married.

Prayer is not something public. It’s a connection you have and a belief. It helps to know that every prayer is heard and answered. We just have to believe in it. You need to believe in something, why not believe that if you pray, and ask G-d to bring you the right man, it will happen?

Investing In Family One Woman At A Time

If you were in Deal or Brooklyn this summer, you could not have missed hearing about PROPEL’s inspiring graduation.

Graduates marched into the auditorium at The Sephardic Community Center in Brooklyn to Pomp and Circumstance to commence the celebration of their individual and collective accomplishments. Each of the graduates completed a certificate course of her choice, after being coached by PROPEL. Now each can be counted as an income producer in her family and our community. Moreover, each graduate is a role model for her children and grandchildren, as well as for other women aspiring to obtain a career.

Support Inspires Success is the title of the award presented to Bonnie Shams OTR/L, as the guest speaker and honoree at the graduation. As a beloved community occupational therapist, Bonnie supports countless children to be the best they can be. Similarly, PROPEL invests in coaching and guiding women to be the best they can be by finding suitable careers that generate income. PROPEL focuses on careers that make sense and honor the traditional values of the community. Women are heroines—they balance professional and family life successfully.

PROPEL sponsored many events in Deal over the summer. At the start of the season, PROPEL showcased RBG, a documentary about the life of Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, a true role model for women, and hosted a Vision Mapping event with Alice Chera.

PROPEL’s When Opportunity Knocks event was arranged by Board members Dr. Gayle Krost, Carol Chera and Marcy Feldman. Gayle hosted this motivating panel discussion at her home. The event showcased six incredible women: Joyce Ash of Jerome Avenue Bakeshop, yoga instructor Vicki Grazi, fashion designer Grace Natkin, photographer Shelly Shmool (By Jackie and Shelly), Jaimee Shams, a registered nurse at NYU Langone Medical Center, and Susie Sutton, a teacher at Yeshivah of Flatbush.

Each panelist passionately described her career and the balance of her personal and professional lives.

In addition, in collaboration with PROPEL board member Robin Braka and her daughter Rachel Khafif of RBK Art Advisory, PROPEL hosted Optimize Your Art Career, an event with Lauren Altman for women in the art business. Also, Team PROPEL was formed to take part in the SBH 5K race in memory of Diane Azrak A”H. PROPEL team members proudly displayed their Run Like A Girl t-shirts.

The PROPEL phone line has been ringing off the hook. Many women who attended summer events have enrolled in courses that began this fall. Women have been inspired to enter the workforce and this organization is here to support them.

Please follow PROPEL on Instagram @PropelNetwork to find out about upcoming programs and events.

If you are interested in a career, please reach out to PROPEL and we can help you fulfill your professional goal.

PROPEL 646-494-0822 | info@thepropelnetwork.org.

Israel. The Accessible Start Up Nation

In 20 short years, Israel, the Start Up Nation, is on the road to becoming Israel, the Accessible Start Up Nation.

Thanks to two Israeli presidents, a determined IDF Lieutenant-Colonel paralyzed in a Cobra helicopter crash, the Access Israel organization, and the newly formed Friends of Access Israel (FAISR), the world now looks to Israel as a model in accessibility, services and sensitivity to people with disabilities.

When Yuval Wagner was a child, he and his siblings helped take care of a father who used a wheelchair. They often carried him, as Israel was not accessible at the time. Wagner grew up and served as an Israel Air Force combat pilot. In 1987, at the age of 22, he and his squad were on a training exercise. The helicopter’s rotor malfunctioned, and all on board were killed—except for Wagner—he became a person with quadriplegia.

Access Israel Founder Yuval Wagner being interviewed
in front of a Cobra helicopter

Following a long rehabilitation, Wagner returned to the Air Force, completed his degree in business management, got married and started a family. In the late 1990’s, the Wagners were excited to go on a vacation in the north of Israel. His wife made calls to make certain the accommodations were accessible. When Wagner arrived, he learned that the bathroom was not accessible.

He was frustrated, angry and determined. In 1999, he dashed off a letter to Israel’s President at the time, Ezer Weizman, a former combat pilot, commander of the Israeli Air Force and Minister of Defense. Weizman, the 7th president of Israel, invited Wagner to meet in person, where he apologized for Israel’s lack of accessibility, ordered him to start an NGO (non-governmental organization) to provide accessibility for the disabled and elderly, and invited Wagner to attend an official opening of the soon-to-be new organization in the main hall of the president’s residence.

Yuval Wagner of Access Israel opens the 20th Anniversary Program
at Beit Hanasi, President Rivlin’s home

The new organization would be known as Access Israel. The organization continues to grow, evolve, and lead the way for accessibility in Israel and around the world.

“We are the only Israeli organization that focuses on accessibility and inclusion—not only for people in wheelchairs, not only for people who are blind or who have hearing impairments—but for all kinds of disabilities and in all fields of life,” reported Wagner. Access Israel strives to integrate people with disabilities into all parts of Israeli society by focusing on dignity, equal rights, and maximum independence.

President Rivlin learning how to sign I love you.

The organization has dramatically improved accessibility for thousands of Israelis, by promoting accessible environments, increasing awareness, and helping draft laws and regulations. Access Israel has helped make it possible for wheelchair users to access such tourist attractions as the Old City of Jerusalem and the Western Wall.

Alan T. Brown, the Director of Public Impact for the Reeve Foundation in the United States and a person with quadriplegia, can attest to Jerusalem and Israel’s efforts to increase accessibility. Several years ago, Brown met Access Israel CEO Michal Rimon, expressed his desire to visit Israel, and shared concerns about lack of accessibility. Rimon enthusiastically invited Brown to Israel where he experienced accessibility first hand. “Something like this has to be done in America—something that is proactive and aggressive in attaining accessibility for all. I even went on the tour under the Kotel walls in a wheelchair!”

Lifelong friends Alan Brown of The Reeve Foundation (sitting) and Jamie Lassner of FAISR share a moment together at the Kotel

Brown experienced Israel’s advances in both physical accessibility and in leading the way in changing attitudes towards people with disabilities. “I am amazed at how Israel is using more than ramps to include the disabled. They are also doing it through corporate sensitivity training.”

Brown contacted his lifelong friend, Jamie Lassner and said, “In Israel they do it with much more dignity and we need to bring that worldwide. Jamie, are you in?” Brown and Lassner have been instrumental in starting Friends of Access Israel, which will help share the work of Access Israel more widely, and will help Wagner realize his goal of having the world view Israel as the Accessible Startup Nation.

A recent gathering in Jerusalem celebrated the 20th anniversary of Access Israel. Israel’s President Reuven Rivlin, members of Knesset, Access Israel staff and supporters, and leaders of the newly created Friends of Access Israel celebrated the organization’s strides in services, technology, education and advocacy on behalf of people with disabilities.

Two women try to eat blindfolded at a recent FAISR sensativity dinner at NYU

Rivlin congratulated Wagner and Access Israel for their “tenacity, futuristic vision, and drive for making Israel one of the most accessible countries in the world.” He acknowledged that the organization is improving the lives of people worldwide and spoke personally about how his late wife, who became disabled later in life, and benefitted from the work of Access Israel.

Michal Rimon addressed the gathering, “When I joined Access Israel 12 years ago, we were a small organization with a big goal—to break through barriers and enable people with disabilities to dream and fulfil their dreams.” Rimon, Wagner, and CFO Rani Benjamini have consulted internationally on accessibility and have shared the work of Access Israel at conferences in Russia, Spain, Latvia, Austria, and Ecuador. It is one of four organizations which advise the United Nations Convention on the Rights of Persons with Disabilities (CRDP).

President Rivlin welcomes his guests from NYC

Rimon is excited to collaborate with FAISR and its Executive Director, Jamie Lassner. This new organization has already launched a well-attended sensitivity training dinner at NYU, cohosted by Realize Israel. They are planning such programs as Accessibility Accelerating Sensitivity Training Trips to several North American cities, Accessible Group Tours of Israel, Expeditions and The FAISR Accessibility Accelerator Tech Conference. Through these initiatives, organization leaders will travel to communities in the US to increase awareness of accessibility and inclusion, they will offer accessible Israel trips, climb Mount Kilimanjaro and host a conference which promotes accessible Israeli technologies.

Guests receive a warm blessing from President Rivlin

Jamie Lassner served for several years as Director of Student Life at Magen David Yeshivah Elementary School. He learned of the work of Access Israel through Brown and through a visit to Israel last summer.

“I was amazed by the global difference they were making with their proactive strategies and programs. They had no global boundaries and a robust all-inclusive mission to gain equality and access for all disabled and elderly persons,” said Lassner who then decided to create FAISR. “As they say, the rest is history!” Lassner and board members Alan Brown and Abraham Eisenstat, friends from their many years, credit their late fathers for inspiring their work with FAISR. “They always made sure that all individuals coming into their community felt welcome.”

President Rivlin laughs with his guests

Rimon looks forward to collaborating with her American counterparts. “We also can’t ignore a sense of Israeli pride as we serve as an example to the whole world and unite on a common global issue. We have already learned a lot from our FAISR partners and find ourselves looking towards the future with great excitement at the vital things we will accomplish together.”
Wagner added, “L’Chaim and Ya’alah” (onward) on our joint global goal to change the quality of life for the biggest minority of the world—the disabled. Together we are going to do amazing things for accessibility and inclusion, both in Israel and America.”

At the 20th Anniversary gathering, FAISR received a welcome endorsement from President Rivlin. “Our friends from abroad, from the United States—Welcome! We appreciate very much what you are doing, because this is a humanitarian need for everyone to respect human beings as human beings, not only as an Israeli or American, Brit, or Russian. We appreciate your cooperation and partnership. G-d Bless You!”

FAISR is a non-profit United States based 501-3C organization. You can follow then on Instagram: @f.Aisr, or on facebook: faisr.Org. For more info, email info@faisr.Org

Howard Blas is a freelance writer, social worker and Jewish special educator. He regularly writes for several Jewish publications and news services.

One of The Most Beloved Events of The Summer for Almost 20 Years

Lottie Chalom A”H

I remember her smile. When I think of her, it is the smile that comes to mind. It was her trade-mark—an expression of love for everyone who entered her home. I remember being in her kitchen with all my friends, laughing and having fun. I remember Lottie standing in the kitchen, hands always moving, always producing.

I can picture her rolling out the kaak, baking them, and then re-toasting them to get them really crunchy. I can smell the delicious Syrian smell—toasted sesame seeds, mahlab, yeasty, deli-cious kaak. Her famous fresh biscot-ti, yum, bring back such fragrant memories.

I remember her fondly—she and her smile and her kitchen—they were all one—an expression of giving, of caring, of love. In 2001, when Lottie passed away, the Chalom sisters Susan Menashe, Nina Cohen, Linda Dayan and Claudia Bildiricci, wanted to do something in her memory. They turned to Ezer Mizion to estab-lish a memorial connected to hesed with food.

That’s when the idea for Lottie’s Kitchen in Jerusalem was born. That large, new kitchen is now serving a couple of hundred thou-sand hot meals, sandwiches, and snacks each year. For close to 20 years, the Lottie’s Kitchen Summer Event on the Jersey Shore, has been one of the most well-loved and happy days in our community. It’s a beautiful day of warmth and fun, and all the women love it.

Every year the theme varies a bit, but it always has to do with our kitchen. This summer the theme was Our Elegant Syrian Kitchen. The beauti-ful home of Maureen and Salomon Cohen lent itself very well to the memories of architectural designs of Aleppo’s most beautiful family courtyards. It was sponsored by the family in memory of their moms, Josephine Tache, Fortune Haddad, and Annette Cohen, who smiled from above.

The day started with the fabu-lous live music of Josh Blanco and his Syrian ensemble. The sounds of Syria filled the air.Demos were done by Syrian women who are known for their authentic recipes. Coming in one of the last waves of immigration from our country to America they have that real touch with the spices.

Bella Zefrani prepared an amazing 52 t OCTOBER 2019 t IMAGE Arabic falafel salad. Shela Gindy gave us practical advice on the measurements of flavors for that perfect taste. She also showed us how to make proper Syrian pickles with green peppers and turnips. Her mom came in all the way from Panama. It was interesting to hear that women almost never went to the marketplace in Aleppo!

The men did the shopping. We learned how each family had their own way of preparing a pot of hameen and then taking it before Sabbath to sit in the oven overnight in the communal ovens. The famous Judith Tobal Betesh of Elvira’s All Natural was invited to demonstrate the mod-ern use of Tehina. Her degree in Integrated Holistic Nutrition made her information very much to the point.

Next up was Dorit Kanik of Nahoum Bakery who taught us that historically, Sephardic women have made all types of flat breads. For the Syrians it was pita bread. We’ve become accustomed to baking chal-lah which is really an Austrian tra-dition. We now have a beautiful simple pita bread recipe to high-light our Shabbat meals. Dorit actu-ally made it in a toaster oven.

Our friend, Rachel Gorcey, separated the required amount of dough to make the blessing and it was quite emotional to hear so many women respond “Amen,” simultaneously. The event featured the world famous French trained culinary expert Lior Lev Sercarz, founder of La Boite, who is noted for his 60+ beautiful blends of spices used in restaurants around the world.

He demonstrated his version of our own spice, baharat. Author of three books to date, Lior will soon be presenting his fourth, The Spice Companion, to an eager public. We finished our day with wise words from the most dynamic Rabbi Sholomo Farhi, from Edmond J. Safra Synagogue of Manhattan. The talk fit the day beautifully. He dis-cussed how important acts of kind-ness are to Hashem.

“Lottie prob-ably put an extra tray of her sem-bussak into her oven, because she was thinking of others who would appreciate it—and, look what has come of that,” he said. Rabbi Farhi’s address was powerful and inspiring in his expression of the beauty of our upbringing and how to carry that forth to a future generation.

A special thank you should go out to Maggie Bawaba, Bridget Ben Dayan, Margaux Betesh, Judy T. Betesh, Norma Cohen, Ricky Esses, Terri Harari, Ronni Kairey and Miriam Sabzheroo for their fantastic advice, and for doing an immense amount of work in so short a period of time.Much admiration to the Chalom sisters for their ongoing support to those in need.See you next summer!

Angels In Brooklyn. In Memory of Muriel Shamula

Living in a fish bowl, you don’t know want kind of fish you are until you leap out into the sea and find yourself swimming with all the other marine life.

Now that I have returned to the Syrian-American Jewish community where I was born and bred, after residing in Manhattan for 20 years, I realize how much I missed my bowl. This is where I feel warm, secure, and thankful.

When my mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer, I saw the profundity of our community’s heart. It was on the eve of Passover that we learned of my mother’s fate. As Cornell medical teams delivered gruesome test results, we were faced with unalterable decisions. I called fellow community members, including doctors who joined us in the trenches, and I turned to The Morris I. Franco Cancer Center for guidance.

The Bikur Holim Hesed Room at Cornell

The 24/7 Bikur Holim Room at Cornell was another testimony to the generosity and support of the Jewish community at-large. Not only was it a place to get kosher meals every day, including Passover and Shabbat, but I had a respite from the doctors’ horrific news.

I was able to make a Seder and have the pleasure of including two Hasidic young men who welcomed the opportunity to be a part of their first Syrian Seder. They allowed me to lead the Seder, even though it was forbidden for them. That night they had visited patients and performed private Seders for them. Then, by allowing me to relish in a Seder of my own, they performed this mitzvah from a different angle. They even learned pizmonim.

Jews from different places and of religious spectrums including Hasidic, Ashkenazic and Sephardic backgrounds, congregated in the 24/7 Room, and were able to not only vent but to offer each other medical advice. As an Ashkenazic middle-aged man said, “This is a testimony to the kindness and ahdus (unity) of Klal Yisrael.”

The book of Tehelim that the Cancer Center provided

Women brought meals throughout my mother’s stay, including homemade soups, pastries, smoothies, Friday night three course meals, and whatever else they could think of to entice her to eat. Of course, everyone kept our family in mind, bringing enough for all of us. People were aching to contribute to our efforts.

I created a Whats App for family and friends to coordinate visits. My mother knew everyone was thinking of her. One day, the thought of a pastrami sandwich tempted her waning appetite. Her friend posted this interest, and four pastrami sandwiches arrived that day, hand-delivered by family and friends.

Mom was in the hospital and a rehabilitation center for approximately two months. My siblings, a close friend, and I, alternated nights sleeping at both places, but we needed relief. I learned that the Mitzvah Man (MM) has a host of volunteers who would sleep in the hospital or rehab overnight, to provide relief for family members. This was a hesed I found mind-blowing. It was hard to believe there were multiple people with such a level of compassion and empathy.

I reached out to the Mitzvah Man and that day began receiving calls from volunteers who wanted to donate their time. I hired aides intermittently, but there was no comparison. Whenever a MM volunteer was on-call, Mom had a competent advocate. I was able to rest knowing they were overseeing the nurses, reporting to me what my mother ate, and how she was faring. I knew they were by her side all night, watching over her.

I’d greet my mom in the morning and she’d be touched that a fellow Jew had stayed overnight. “They’re angels,” she’d say. One has to be a special type of person to understand the need for—and perform—such a tough task. I cannot thank these women enough for the solace they provided my mom and my family during this trying time.

The Cancer Center played a pivotal role in our endeavor, as well. I consulted with them for referrals and reassurance that our doctors were highly recommended. They sent care packages for Shabbat and holidays, creams to help alleviate some of my mother’s discomfort, and scarves so she could look pretty.

Sephardic Bikur Holim sent out a text with my mother’s name and location, and visitors came, some with young children armed with handmade cards, candy, even a list of questions to trigger conversation. It was heartwarming. Seeing young fresh faces made the day interesting. Our extended family, and her longtime friends, visited frequently from Deal and Brooklyn even though she was in Manhattan. Their love and support kept us breathing.

Going through this trauma felt like being in the cockpit of a warplane. We fought the onslaught from the first night of Passover, April 19th, until July 7th, my mother’s final day. It was a horror, but having our community rallying around us made this challenge manageable. Their involvement helped us stay strong, comforted, and loved. We are blessed.