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How To Make a Good Marriage Great

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We dream of finding the perfect spouse, go out on too many dates to try and find him/her and when we do, we fall head over heals in love. We get engaged, then we get married, then somewhere down the line, we get bored. Boredom has become the greatest threat to couples staying together. Infidelity, which formerly topped the list of reasons for marriages breaking up, has been surpassed by couples saying they’re no longer in love and have “grown apart”.

This is depressing beyond words. Can we really have reached the stage where a commitment to love and to cherish until death do us part has come down to so casual and seemingly frivolous a reason for walking out on the union, and quite possibly children, too? Have the past money-obsessed, self-indulgent decades really created such narcissism that we will not put up with a relationship that doesn’t give us perpetual bliss?

No one seems to be paying attention to Leo Tolstoy’s wise words: “What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with that incompatibility.”

Sadly, research says that people come together and stay together only when this is to their individual advantage.

Life does tend to get in the way of happy marriages. Couples are tired after they have kids. Some are perpetually worried about paying the bills and if they don’t discuss these problems, they can lead to more stress, thinking your spouse doesn’t understand what you’re going through.

A happy marriage rarely happens on its own. It takes work and it’s worth it. Here are some tips that might just make your good marriage great:

Spend Time Together

This seems obvious, but sometimes there just aren’t enough hours in the day to work, feed, bathe and put the kids to bed then sit down and cherish your spouse. However, even 10 minutes a day of uninterrupted time to touch base builds connection. Setting aside time to be together is important. The key is being present and focusing only on the person in front of you, to the exclusion of all other distractions. This builds connection and closeness.

Listen and Support Each Other

When you were dating you couldn’t wait to hear about his/her day. You could talk for hours about anything. So, shy is it difficult to actively listen to each other now and express support for your spouse’s day-today life issues. Pay attention, no matter how small or mundane.

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Express Gratitude

Remember to say “thank you” for the little things you often take for granted. Even though you expect your spouse to take out the garbage, cook dinner, and pick up the dry cleaning, it is important to express your appreciation as often as possible. If you would do it for a stranger, why not for your spouse? Expressing gratitude increases positive feelings and strengthens relationships. Everyone wants to feel appreciated.

Be Kind To Each Other

Express compassion and understanding. Learn to listen to your spouse’s pain, validate it and help her stay strong. This is a special kindness that helps your spouse feel that she is not alone. Show your concern by doing the little things that your spouse will appreciate. Go beyond the call of duty and help your spouse without letting her know. Do the things that only you will know are meaningful and appreciated by your spouse.

Respond To Your Spouse

Never ignore even seemingly trivial conversation with your spouse. Giving each other the gift of attention shows that your partner is important to you.

Be Influenced

Don’t be afraid to listen to your spouse and change your ideas or opinions on issues big and small. Insisting on your way may feel right at the moment, but that is not healthy for a marriage. Be open to what is important to your spouse. Being right has little value in marriage; making your spouse happy is what counts.

Argue Respectfully

Conflict is expected in relationships, not a sign of trouble. How you argue is the key. You don’t have to yell to be heard. Criticism, defensiveness, contempt and stonewalling destroy marriages. Address the issue, don’t attack the person. Don’t overreact if your spouse is upset; he is probably looking for support, not a fight. If you find yourself being contemptuous of your spouse, it’s time to recall all the positive things about your relationship. If you’re too upset to talk about it at that moment, make a time to continue the conversation; don’t just walk away. Arguing is better than no communication.

Make Up

Practice and learn how to fix things during and after a fight. “Love is never being afraid to say I’m sorry.” Using humor, changing the subject and avoiding sensitive issues are all expressions of your concern about the relationship and making sure arguments don’t damage it. Remember, kindness counts.

Create Rituals

Create times that are touchstones of your relationship to help keep it healthywhether it’s bike riding Sunday mornings or going out for coffee and dessert every Thursday night. Couples connect to each other by sharing purposeful activities together.

Shared Meaning

Doing meaningful things together makes your relationship more special. You and your spouse should get involved in a hesed activity that you both are passionate about. Volunteer to work with developmentally disabled youth or visit the local nursing home. Be adventurous. You’ll both benefit from the experience, and your relationship will blossom.

Do you have time for makeup?

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Sylvia Hamowy

Do you have time for makeup? Do you find yourself so busy in the morning that makeup is the last thing on your list or have you left it off your list entirely? We’re rushing around doing so many things in the morning that for a  lot of us, makeup is the last thing we think of. Yet when we are doing our errands, we most admire the  women who took the time to apply their makeup flawlessly and look put together.

Applying makeup can be like brushing your teeth, something you do quickly and automatically every morning. If you have a three minute look for the days when you are too busy to spend lots of time on your makeup you will feel good all day long.

Applying makeup in three minutes is possible if you keep it simple!  Have your cosmetics handy. Keep your pencils, your favorite lipstick, and the few items that you can put on quickly easily accessible. Also keep your brushes clean so you don’t have to wash them before using them.

Three Minute Makeup

Apply your moisturizer. Put on foundation or tinted moisturizer. Dot concealer on eyelid and under eye. Stroke on a neutral eye shadow or one that gives your eyes a boost. Apply eyeliner (liquid is the fastest), then put on mascara. Use a cream blush, lipstick or gloss.

Using a magnifying mirror makes everything faster. Moisturizer is important, if you use tinted moisturizer you can skip the foundation. Concealer will brighten your eyes and keep eye shadow on all day. Eyeliner gives your eyes definition and elongates your lashes. Blush makes you look happier and lipstick gives you that finishing touch.

If you have a little more time, put on your regular foundation for more stay-power. Use a gel eyeliner, which looks better and a powder blush. If you still have more time, line your lips before you apply lipstick.

There’s no reason to leave the house without makeup. Remember, just three minutes will make you look and feel good all day long.

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Sylvia Hamowy is the owner of Reflections Cosmetics. She is a professional makeup artist, beauty editor, and former radio show host. She is featured in the International Who’s Who of Entrepreneurs.

The Doctors of Midwood Orthodontics

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If you’re like most people, when you think of braces, you think of straight teeth. What you may not realize is that orthodontics is a lot more than that. Yes, we straighten teeth but we also consider the effects it will have on the appearance and dental health of each patient. A beautiful smile, with properly balanced facial aesthetics, is the foundation of our treatment philosophy. Creating facial balance and harmony between soft and hard tissue is what we strive to achieve for all of our patients at Midwood Orthodontics. This facial balance helps maintain the long term health and alignment of teeth and also results in the most pleasing smile.

Delivering the proposed treatment in a timely manner, with the most up-to-date technology available is another priority of ours. The technology that is being offered today has enabled far fewer extractions of permanent teeth, improvements in airway function, a reduction in treatment times and above allthe best results with the least discomfort. We offer treatment that requires less compliance from our children and fewer appointments to our office during treatment.

The American Association of Orthodontists recommends that all children be seen by an orthodontist at the age of seven to evaluate bite development. Drs. Klapper and Zarabi will examine your child to determine if treatment is necessary to attain a well-balanced facial profile and proper occlusion/bite. Although most patients at age seven will not require any treatment, this initial visit will allow Drs. Klapper and Zarabi to evaluate any existing developmental problems, such as impacted or missing teeth, cross bites or overbites, and gives the doctors the opportunity to discuss your child’s future orthodontic needs with you, so there are no surprises in years to come. Early treatment, when necessary, may yield results that are not possible at a later date when the full growth and developmental potential of the child is decreased.

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Adult Treatment

It is just no longer true that orthodontic treatment always takes years and years to complete, that braces are “just for kids,” ugly, and painful to wear or, that extraction of teeth is very frequently needed. It is our goal to create beautiful and lasting smiles for each of our patients, this includes adults. We offer Invisalign clear aligners for patients who don’t want to wear permanent braces. There may be reasons why a patient may not be a candidate for Invisalign and for them technology exists that allows for customized brackets and wires that are placed on the back/tongue side of each tooth. Using CAD/CAM technology these braces, called Incognito Braces, are 100% customized for each patient and each individual tooth. Robots bend the wires! Dr. Zarabi is excited to now offer this wonderful treatment to his patients in Brooklyn. There is a technique, called Wilckodontics or Accelerated Osteogenic Orthodontics, that enables faster movement of teeth, less extractions, and reduced need for jaw surgery. Dr. Zarabi is one of only three orthodontists in New York City to be fully trained to offer this revolutionary approach to his patients.

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Midwood Orthodontics specializes in providing customized, comprehensive orthodontic treatment to patients of all ages. They feature a pleasant, forward thinking office environment, the latest in clinical techniques and a warm and friendly team of professionally trained staff.

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About Dr. Klapper

Dr. Bernard J. Klapper, the founder of our orthodontic practice, has over 30 years of experience in dental specialties. After starting a Pediatric Dentistry practice in the Five Towns and Manhattan, he returned to NYU College of Dentistry to obtain his certificate in Orthodontics.

For 10 years, Dr. Klapper was a clinical associate professor at NYU College of Dentistry. He has published scientific papers in the Journal of Pediatric Dentistry, Caries Research, and the Journal of Dental Research.

Dr. Klapper has given professional lectures for the Lenox Hill Hospital, the Beth Israel Medical Center and the Greater New York Dental Meeting. He continues to search for new ideas and techniques to improve our orthodontic results.

About Dr. Zarabi

Dr. David Zarabi is a certified orthodontic specialist. He attended SUNY at Stony Brook where he received his DDS degree and graduated 2nd in his class. He was inducted into the OKU honors fraternity.

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Upon completing dental school, Dr. Zarabi entered the Orthodontics program at Stony Brook. He completed his three year residency in 2001 and has been dedicated to private practice ever since. Dr. Zarabi has lectured at the Greater New York Dental meeting and held the position of associate professor at NYU for a number of years where he taught post graduate orthodontic residents.

Dr. David Zarabi is a member in excellent standing of many local and national orthodontic societies. He prides himself on constantly seeking the continuing education courses which enhance the patient experience. Technology is his passion as is total excellence. He views orthodontics not just as a profession but more importantly as a mind-set. This will become obvious when you meet both Dr. Zarabi and his team. Dr. Zarabi splits his time between his offices in Brooklyn and Manhattan and recently appeared on an episode of America’s Top Model.

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Visit midwooodorthodontics.com to learn more about treatments offered by Drs. Klapper and Zarabi.

We work with many insurance companies and offer free parking to all of our patients. Please mention this article at your new patient consultation visit and receive a free gift.

We are located at 977 East 12th Street. If you would like to make an appointment call (718) 336-6112

MEDICAID PLANNING Will You Qualify

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As we get older, we begin to worry about the possibility that we may get sick and end up in a nursing home. Paying for a nursing home can drastically reduce a person’s savings. In New York, the average cost of nursing home care is a little more than $75,000 per year, with the cost of better nursing home care being upwards of $170,000 a year.

Most Americans will drain their savings while paying for nursing home care until they qualify for Medicaid, but with proper planning, this unfortunate result can easily be avoided, and people can go to a nursing home and still leave an inheritance for their children.

Medicaid is an entitlement program for people and families with low income and limited resources. In order to qualify for Medicaid, you must be impoverished under the guidelines prescribed by the program. Essentially, there are two types of Medicaid, “plain” and “nursing home,” each with very different requirements.

Plain Medicaid: To be eligible for medical care, the monthly income limit for an applicant aged 65 or older living in a one-person household is $792. The monthly income limit for an applicant aged 65 or older living in a two-person household is $1,159. The resource limits for applicants aged 65 or older are $14,250 (plus a separate burial account of $1,500) and $20,850 (plus a separate burial account of $1,500), respectively for a one-person and a two-person household.*

Nursing-Home Medicaid: To be eligible for nursing home care, the program states that the applicant’s income must be $50 or less per month, and the community spouse (the spouse remaining in the home) cannot have income exceeding $2,841 per month. The community spouse resource allowance ranges from $74,820 to $113, 640 in resources (plus a separate burial account of $1,500).*

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The New York Department of Social Services requires persons seeking Medicaid to meet the previously listed limits in order to qualify. Without proper Medicaid planning, most people will have to spend most of their assets before being eligible to qualify for Medicaid. Therefore, if a person thinks he or she may apply for Medicaid in the future, certain measures must be taken today in order to avoid that unfortunate result of being denied Medicaid in the future.

The Basics of Medicaid Trusts

A Medicaid trust is a way to transfer money to someone you trust with restrictions so that they cannot just keep the money. If you no longer qualify for long-term care insurance, a Medicaid trust is a great way to secure your future eligibility for Medicaid. The key word here is “future” because a Medicaid trust will not qualify you for Medicaid immediately. There will be a penalty period, which can be up to five years (but is often less). If you have an immediate need for Medicaid, there are a number of other techniques that can be used, such as a “gift and loan” or a “spousal refusal.”

As a part of creating a New York Medicaid trust, you will have to transfer your assets to the trust (i.e. transfer your money to a bank account in the name of the trust and re-title your brokerage accounts and real estate to the trust).

Example: Sam creates a Medicaid trust called the “Sam Medicaid Trust.” For the trust to work, Sam has to transfer most of his money and stock to an account belonging to the “Sam Medicaid Trust” and deed his house to the “Sam Medicaid Trust.” This is the only way Medicaid will accept the premise that Sam no longer has the money.

Once assets are put into a Medicaid trust, it is impossible to take them out. It goes without saying that once you take the assets back from the trust, you lose Medicaid eligibility. It is this inability to revoke or amend the trust that makes the trust untouchable by Medicaid. Now that you no longer own the property, you prevent Medicaid from asserting that you don’t meet the Medicaid resource limit. The trustee of your choosing will manage the trust. This is usually the person who is very close to you, such as a son or daughter, although some trusts are managed by an attorney or a bank. Some people opt to have more than one trustee, for example, two children and an attorney or a banker. You can receive income from the trust, as long as the income is below the Medicaid eligibility limit. Medicaid will count the income but ignore the principal of the trust. Any income over the Medicaid limit will have to be put back into the trust.

Once again, planning in advance is key. A proper Medicaid trust that is more than five years old will qualify you for all types of Medicaid, but a “younger” trust may incur a period of ineligibility (the waiting period).

When the Medicaid trust is more than five years old, you will qualify for Medicaid without a waiting period. Otherwise, a period of ineligibility is calculated by taking the dollar value of the transfer divided by average monthly cost for nursing care, which equals the number of months you will be ineligible for Medicaid.

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Example: Dad gives his son a gift of $100,000. Medicaid will consider the $100,000 figure and divide it by the average monthly cost of nursing care, let’s say $10,000 which equals 10. Therefore, Dad will be ineligible for Medicaid for 10 months.

Additionally, you may be able to have a Medicaid trust without the imposition of a penalty period if the transfer is made to: (i) a qualifying relative; (ii) your child who is either under 21 years of age, blind or permanently disabled; (iii) your sibling, if he or she has an equity interest in the house and was living there for at least one year before you went into a nursing home; or (iv) your adult child, if that child has lived in the home at least two years before you went into a nursing home and that child was taking care of you.

Speaking with an experienced trusts and estates attorney will be useful to you because the attorney will advise you on the options available to you which will allow you to use Medicaid to cover the cost of medical care without depleting your assets. In addition, planning in advance is a good option because the penalty period will likely expire before you may need to be admitted to a nursing home.

Forming a New York Medicaid trust allows you to protect your family’s assets from being used to pay for your medical and nursing home care by justifying the need to receive Medicaid in the future to cover those expenses. Additional benefits in forming a New York Medicaid trust are the usual lifetime trust benefits, which can help save money on estate taxes, keep assets out of the probate court, maintain privacy, avoid the hassle of multi-state probate proceedings, avoid interruption of income and use of assets after your death, and provide planning for mental disability.

* The income and resource levels stated are based on 2012 guidelines and may increase or decrease in future years.

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Isaac Yedid and Raymond Zeitoune are Partners at Yedid & Zeitoune, PLLC

Dementia and Alzheimers Disease

Dementia and Alzheimer’s Disease

What You Should Know

by Dr. Yakir Kaufman

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Dementia is a progressive decline in mental ability, affecting memory, thinking, judgment, attention span and learning. Although dementia usually develops after the age of 60, it is not a natural part of aging.

The most common type of dementia results from Alzheimer’s disease. Around the world, there are 34 million victims of Alzheimer’s and other types of dementia; five or six million live in the US, and about 100,000 in Israel. Many post-World War II baby boomers now entering retirement are likely to live into their 90’s, so Alzheimer’s will become an even more severe problem unless something is done to stop or prevent it. The worldwide cost of caring for dementia patients is estimated at over $400 billion a year, $3 billion in Israel alone. With the aging of the population, dementia is a looming medical, social, ethical and financial catastrophe.

The exact cause of Alzheimer’s disease remains unclear. The disease begins slowly, and gets progressively worse over time. There is a gradual decline in memory, the ability to keep track of time, and the ability to recognize people, places and objects. It becomes more and more difficult to find and use the appropriate words. There are often changes in personality and behavior as well.

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Multiple small strokes are the second most common cause of dementia. This is often referred to as multi-infarct dementia. Recurrent mini strokes may not cause the same type of weakness and paralysis that large strokes produce, but over time the brain cells will be compromised. An infarct refers to a blockage of blood flow to tissue, causing it injury. As these injuries accumulate in the brain, its normal functioning is affected, hence the term multi-infarct dementia.

Scientists are investigating associations between cognitive decline and vascular and metabolic conditions such as heart disease, stroke, high blood pressure, diabetes and obesity. Understanding these relationships and testing them in clinical trials will help us understand whether reducing risk factors for these diseases may help with Alzheimer’s as well.

Current therapies usually provide symptomatic relief only, in the short run. We know that high cholesterol and high blood pressure are early warning signals of heart disease, but we have no proven markers for early-stage dementia. New approaches that identify incipient disease, and novel therapies that will prevent or modify the progression of brain cell death and the onset of the most disabling symptoms, are urgently needed.

Israel is an important place for Alzheimer’s research. The population is small and manageable, and Israelis have a relatively long life expectancy. Israel has a solid scientific infrastructure and much successful involvement in medical research and has a great deal of fantastic medical talent. Israel partners in research with the US and Europe.

We wish we could tell people that taking a pill or doing a puzzle every day would prevent this terrible disease, but current evidence and clinical practice doesn’t support this.

Here are some steps you can take to prevent mild memory loss and to help fight against dementia:

Enhance Your Life: Get out more, socialize, have more fun, try to worry less and embrace your spirituality.

Reduce Stress: Learn and practice regular relaxation techniques.

Treat Depression: Depression is associated with cognitive decline and Alzheimer’s disease. If you feel depressed, tell your doctor.

Maintain a Positive Attitude: Studies show that a positive emotional state may help ward off cognitive decline. Social ties, involvement in synagogue and community, and meaningful relationships all seem to be protective.

Stay Active: Enhance your occupational well-being by choosing active, rather than passive, activities. Try activities that have elements of responsibility and givinghelp others. Having purpose in your life has been associated with a significant reduction in risk of developing memory loss and developing Alzheimer’s disease.Dementia-3

Keep Your Blood Pressure Under Control: High blood pressure is the strongest risk factor for multi-infarct dementia. On the other hand, over treatment of blood pressure, especially in the elderly, can cause lack of sufficient blood supply to the brain. This is called hypoperfusion and can cause cognitive and functional decline.

Exercise Regularly: You can slow memory loss with regular aerobic exercise. Try doing 30 minutes of aerobic activity a couple of days each week. First check with your physician to find out what sort of exercise is best for you.

Eat a Diet Rich In Antioxidants and Omega-3 Fatty Acids: Fruits and vegetables are the best sources of antioxidants, although tea and dark chocolate contribute as well. Cold-water fish, freshly ground flaxseed and walnuts provide omega-3s.

Keep Your Mind Active: Do mentally stimulating activities. Puzzles are fun and keep your brain stimulated.

Avoid Excessive Alcohol Consumption: Alcohol’s damaging effect on brain cells is well established in medical literature.

Have Regular Blood Tests: Your doctor should check your vitamin levels and thyroid function and tell you what to do if levels are low.

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Dr. Yakir Kaufman is the Director of Behavioral Neurology at Herzog Hospital in Jerusalem. His research has been published in prestigious publications

The Jews of South Africa and the Jewish Museum

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There are Jewish museums throughout the worldone of the most interesting is the South African Jewish Museum, located in central Cape Town on “Museum Mile.” It was officially opened by Nelson Mandela in December, 2000.

The exterior of the museum is clad in Jerusalem stone and offers visitors a truly unique experience with its bold architectural design.

Advice from Project SAFE Teachers

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Advice from Project SAFE Teachers

Be a Good Role Model

Project SAFE is a program run by The SAFE Foundation which teaches 5th through 12th graders at Yeshivah of Flatbush, Magen David Yeshivah and Hillel Yeshiva life skills and drug, alcohol and gambling prevention.

There are things that every parent can do to prevent their teens from taking drugs and drinking. SAFE teachers would like to offer all parents this advice:

Shira Berkowitz, LMSW
Director of the Project SAFE
Program and teacher at MDY

Everyone wants to be loved, and people do all kinds of dangerous and inappropriate things when they feel empty inside. When a child gets the proper amount of attention, support and recognition for his strengths, rather than for his faults, he/she will feel satisfied and strong. This child will have positive self-esteem and can say no to peer pressure. In addition, if parents model healthy coping skills and show that they can enjoy and relax without relying on substances, kids will follow.

Yossi Sirote, LMSW
Teacher at MDY/Hillel

It is important for parents to open a dialogue with their children. Teenagers are not kids anymore. When they are approached as adults, they are more responsive. One thing to discuss is how the teenage brain is still developing, and drinking alcohol excessively will damage vulnerable brain cells. Teens are also not in a stage where their emotional skills are strong. Because of this, drinking and drug use will have dangerous repercussions. Parents should make it very clear how they feel about drug and alcohol use.

Chedvi Perr, LSCW
Teacher at Hillel

Parents may turn a blind eye and allow their kids to go to parties where there will be alcohol and drugs, but are then horrified if something bad happens. We cannot put our kids in situations where they will surely be led to drink and then be disappointed that they do. Often, teens cannot set appropriate limits for themselves, because they are being pressured by their friends. When a parent forbids a child from being in an unhealthy atmosphere, the teen can blame the parent for not being able to go. Even if the protest is strong, the teen is grateful to have clear boundaries.

Eli Amzalag
Teacher at YOF

Unfortunately, teenagers see some of the adults in their lives engaging in questionable activities. This speaks volumes. Teens also realize that parents can be quickly pacified with mild retorts (it was my cousins wedding/party) and get away with it. This response, albeit not deliberately or consciously, can nurture bad habits.

Penina Ginsberg
Teacher at YOF

As the years progress, the youth get more and more desensitized. What was once unacceptable has become the norm and unfortunately, reality. Parents should be aware of whats going on with their children and keep the lines of communication open. Get to them before the media and the American culture take hold.

Avi Smus, TCI
Teacher at YOF

Kids can be very innocent and unsuspecting. They do not recognize that others want to make a quick buck off of them. But our children are the most precious things to us, and if they are looking for attention, we must recognize it. Being involved and providing constant love and non-judgmental support is crucial. Some parents do not know how to do this, but they can learn.

Reading Suggestions
Drugproof Kids: The Ultimate Prevention Handbook for Parents to Protect Children from Addictions, by Frank Simonelli, Jr.

Addiction Proof Your Child: A Realistic Approach to Preventing Drug, Alcohol, and Other Dependencies, by Stanton Peele

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk, by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish

If you or someone you know needs help, please call The SAFE Foundations confidential, toll-free hotline, 24/7 at 1-866-569-SAFE

The Life of Yizhak Rabin

Shorty after completing his schooling, Yizhak Rabin joined the Palmachthe elite strike force of the Haganah underground defense organization, where he served for seven years. He distinguished himself as a military leader very early on.
With the establishment of the State of Israel, the Palmach disbanded and Rabin embarked on a military career in the IDF which spanned two decades.
Rising to the rank of Major-General at the age of 32, he established the IDF leadership style which became known by the command, follow me. In 1962 he was appointed Chief of the General Staff and was promoted to the rank of Lieutenant General. He developed the IDF fighting doctrinebased on movement and surprisewhich was employed during the 1967 Six-Day War and ultimately led to the famous military victory. In January 1968, after 26 years in uniform, Rabin retired from the IDF.

Amsterdams Portuguese Synagogue and Jewish Museum

During the 16th and 17th centuries, many Jews that faced persecution in Spain and Portugal fled to Amsterdam, where they enjoyed religious tolerance.

In the early 17th century, there were three Sephardic communities: Beth Jacob, Neve Shalom and Beth Israel. In 1639, these communities merged to form the Portuguese Jewish community of Amsterdam.
In 1665, they commissioned architects Elias Bouwman and Daniel Stalpaert to build a new synagogue. The architects were inspired by the Temple of Salomon in Jerusalem and built a spectacular  synagogue. Construction began in 1671 and in 1675 the Portuguese Synagogue also called the Esnoga (which is the Ladino word for synagogue) was finishedit was the largest synagogue in the world.

Over the entrance is a gilded Hebrew inscription, a verse from Psalm 5:8: In the abundance of Thy loving kindness will I come into Thy house.
Inside, the synagogue is designed in the Sephardic style with the beautiful wooden ark and bimah at opposite ends of the interior. The seating is arranged in two equal halves, which face each other across a central aisle. The floor is covered with fine sand to absorb moisture from shoes and muffle noise.

The Jews of Ferrara, Italy

The Jews of Italy have a history that spans 2,000 years. Many groups of Jews, driven out of their native countries, Spain (1492), Portugal (1498) and Germany (1530) were welcomed there and created a strong and well-organized community, which became one of the most flourishing and important in Italy.
The Dukes of Este, in the 15th century, wanted to strengthen the economic condition of their country. The growing need for credit facilitated the settlement of Jews, who were originally money-lenders, but later became retailers, manufacturers, and tradesmen.
The Jews were given autonomy and although they were permitted to dwell anywhere in the city, most of them lived in the same area.

Cultivating Happiness

It began 35 years ago. Thats when they stopped speaking.  Each one claims that theyve been angry with the other, on and off, since childhood. Apart, they are able to recount stories of misunderstandings that evolved into arguments that grew into a feud that resulted in two sisters, now 96 and 94 years old, fueling their anger into a state of permanent combustion until they could no longer bear to share anything: not even a conversation.

This is a true but extreme case of anger triumphing. We all get hot under the collar from time to time. Were human beings with a bucket load of emotions. However, holding on to anger can be devastating in more ways than one.
Living in anger leads to frustration, misery and troubled relationships in your personal life. In business, anger lowers performance levels and stifles both creativity and potential.
I have met very few people who prefer or choose to be angry. Most of us react and then get stuck or hijacked by our own negative emotions. For those who are truly interested in letting go of negative emotions in general, and anger specifically, the trick is in the first minute.

SSC Rabbis Enlightening Italian Jewry

giliDuring the past decade, The Shehebar Sephardic Center has placed rabbis in eight Italian cities. Each is helping the Sephardic community in his city preserve the past, and stay enlightened so community members can share their Jewish heritage with future generations. 
Rabbi Sam Kassin, Dean of the Shehebar Sephardic Center, recently visited each of these rabbis to provide support and advice. Rabbi Kassin landed in Milano, during Lag BOmer, where he met with Rabbi Eliyahu Berenbaum, who has been the SSC rabbi in Torino for two years.

Spend Time with Your Teen

Focus on Safety and Provide Guidance

As our teens begin a new school year, the time we spend with them will be greatly reduced. High school hours are long, socializing is of the utmost importance to them, and then there is homework. By the time Shabbat rolls around, many young adults are too tired to engage with family members, much less their parents. And yet, we know that the common denominator among teens that do well academically and socially, stay healthy and drug-free, is that they have a close relationship with Mom and Dad.

Teens need to be connected to their parents during this time of exploration. If theyre not, they will find something else to hold onto. They need us to help them navigate barriers, to answer questions and to discuss problems. They also need space, so they can begin to make decisions for themselves.

The Right Hue for You

Stand in front of any makeup counter and you will see that there are hundreds of lip, eye and nail colors. If you are in a department store there may be thousands of colors. How do you know which one is right for you? What you choose can make a drastic difference in your skin tone and your overall appearance. A shade that is wrong for you can make you look pale and washed out. On mature skin it can highlight wrinkles and age you 10 years. Knowing how to choose the right hues is vital for you to look your best.