FOR GOING ABOVE & BEYOND

IN DECEMBER, WHEN WILSON JACOME CHECKED INTO MONMOUTH MEDICAL CENTER IN LONG BRANCH WITH COVID-19, HE HOPED TO BE OUT IN A FEW DAYS—IT DIDN’T HAPPEN. THE 57-YEAR-OLD ASBURY PARK RESIDENT TOOK A TURN FOR THE WORSE AND SPENT THE WINTER HOLIDAYS ISOLATED FROM HIS FAMILY.

But he wasn’t alone. “I had an angel,” he said. “An angel with no wings.” That was Yve Massre, a nurse who showered him with kindnesses. Massre called Jacome’s daughter to learn his favorite meal—steak and vegetables—then purchased an order from Jack’s Goal Line Stand sports bar in Long Branch and served it to him. She also gifted Jacome with a blanket and two sets of pajamas.

Massre, a 40-year-old mother of five who lives in West Long Branch, purchased all of this out of pocket. “The patients had nobody but us; we were their family,” Massre said. “It’s something you would do for a family member.”

Such gestures did not go unnoticed. In late August Massre earned a DAISY Award, which is national recognition for nursing excellence. The quarterly distinction has been awarded to dozens of New Jersey nurses so far this year, and Massre’s story shines a light on this most essential of professions.

“She just has an amazing spirit—powerful, caring and loving,” said Lauren Russo, a fellow nurse and the director of patient care for Massre’s unit. “She’s always going above and beyond, not only for her patients but for the team.”

POSITIVITY DURING A VERY DARK TIME

A stay-at-home mom for 15 years, Massre went back to school in her mid 30s, graduating from Brookdale Community College and New Jersey City University before landing a job at Monmouth Medical Center four years ago.

“I always wanted to help people and make people happy,” she said.

In March of 2020 her unit, Greenwall 5, became the hospital’s first COVID wing. “It was a really rough time, draining. Everyone was scared. There was no hiding the fear. Most of us were probably more afraid of bringing it home to our loved ones than getting it ourselves,” she said.

Trying to boost morale, Massre baked a steady stream of desserts for colleagues and handed out customized ID badges that resembled the coronavirus molecule.

“I did it for solidarity—to remind us what we’re fighting for,” she said. “That we’re fighting together.”

Russo added, “Things like that kind of unified her team with a lot of positivity in a very dark time.”

For her patients, Massre purchased and distributed small gifts based on their interests—crossword books, puzzles, cards and other knickknacks.

“She always took the time to wash my hair,” Jacome said. “When you’re sick and you have really nice people like Yve helping you, it is a motivation. It helps with your recuperation.”

Massre said the simplest things, like presenting a toothbrush or a pencil, moved some patients to tears. She added, “you might not think twice about it, but on that day, in that place, with the situation they’re in, the smallest act can be huge.”

Many people in her line of work are dealing with some form of post-traumatic stress disorder, Massre said, but the success stories remain the best medicine. Like when Jacome recovered and got discharged.

“I don’t know if he realized, but he sort of saved me,” she said. “When he got better and got discharged it was at a time when I needed to see something like that, because there was so much of the opposite.”

Nine months later, they remain in touch. “She has goodness and compassion,” Jacome said. “I say, ‘Thank you, G-d, for giving me Yve.’”

A DAUGHTER IN HER FOOTSTEPS

Massre’s children range in age from 8 to 21. She credits her husband Isaac’s support as she balances the demands of her profession with those of parenthood. Perhaps the surest sign of her devotion is that their oldest, Michelle, is a patient care assistant at Monmouth Medical Center.

“It shows Yve is an inspiration to her family as well,” Russo said. “He daughter is interested in pursuing health care because of the positive impact her mom makes.”

Massre attached a note with a quote that, in her estimation, tells the story of her unit during the pandemic.

“Crisis doesn’t create character. It reveals it.”

With the DAISY Award comes a small sculpture known as “Healer’s Touch,” which is hand-carved in Zimbabwe from Serpentine, a mineral rock. Massre had a replica made and placed it prominently at the nursing station on her hospital floor.

“I wanted to share it,” she said. “Everybody I’ve worked with deserved this recognition. The nursing excellence I’ve seen in the past year-and-a-half has been off the charts.

AFTER A LIFETIME OF RAISING THEIR FAMILIES, WORKING AND CONTRIBUTING TO THE SUCCESS OF OUR COMMUNITY, OUR SENIORS DESERVE WHAT WE ARE GIVING THEM AND MUCH MORE. THIS IS THE LEAST WE CAN DO FOR THESE HEROES.

The Seniors program at DSN recently had a much-anticipated grand reopening. Over 50 seniors excitedly attended, many having not seen each other since early 2020. Smiles and laughter filled the air, as each one of them shared how much they missed DSN and each other.

Vicky Shamah, daughter-in-law of Ann Shamah A”H, who founded the program a few years back, commented on the good feelings DSN provides. “Speaking of being welcomed back, it is clear how wonderful DSN is for our seniors because everyone involved, even the security guards, make our seniors feel so at home. They are warmly welcomed each and every time they enter the building. The crowd keeps getting bigger and bigger and our seniors are so comforted and happy.”

DSN’s Seniors program is offered four days per week and is very structured: 11 a.m. to 11:45 a.m. is chair exercise led by a professional instructor, followed by lunch from 11:45 a.m. to 12:30 p.m., and then a special activity from 12:30 to 2 p.m.

Stevie Nasar came into DSN, walked around, looked into the seniors’ room and said, “Wow, is this what happens every day?” He saw all his parents’ friends and got emotional. “I feel like I am looking at an all-star baseball team. These are the all-stars of my community sitting and eating and enjoying themselves.”

DSN’s role in caring for our community’s all-stars represents one of life’s most significant values. This is the best investment and responsibility to give to those who have given so much and made possible all that we enjoy today.

Emma Schneider, an everyday senior attendee loves the exercise portion. “The exercise is the best thing that ever happened to us. Even if we only had exercise for the seniors, it would be more than enough!” Lorraine Stessler added, “DSN is doing a wonderful job in simply providing lunch for us. It is always so delicious, and I am really enjoying it.”

But it’s in the DNA of DSN to go above and beyond. DSN strives for greatness—to do better and do more. The seniors get involved in the diverse activities offered after exercise and lunch. There is cooking for the food pantry. The seniors make sambusak, apple turnovers and pizzas. Paulette Rishty, a DSN senior enthusiast, spoke about donating food to the pantry, stating “It’s so nice to see how people love to cook for the food pantry. We all leave feeling that we did something worthwhile and meaningful.” The seniors have also been knitting baby hats, blankets and scarves. They had a day of Bingo with prizes, along with board games and Connect 4. One particularly exciting day included a Beracha Party, “Amen with Friends,” with Rebbetzin Ronit Nahum. DSN provided all different types of food, and everyone made berachot in honor of different people in the community.

Other activities have been art with Elizabeth Hindin and a therapy dog visit with Adele Saka. The seniors were excited when Sally Cohen talked about Sephardic heritage and the life and history of Isaac Shalom.

Stephanie Massry and Vicky Schreiber, DSN’S Senior Program Coordinators, expressed, “We are so happy to be back. We have missed this program so much and are delighted to spend time with the seniors. This role is a true gift for us.”

Sammy Sitt, DSN’s Executive Director, summarized. “Our Seniors program is invigorating the lives of our most respected and honored community members. Each of them has a rich personal history that is worthy of a book. What we offer them is a drop in the bucket compared to what they have done for our community. It’s our pride and honor to have them in our building each day. We love them all. May Hashem bless our seniors with health and happiness.“

ARI BAUM, CFP®

HAVE YOU BEEN MAKING GOOD USE OF THE RECENT TAX CODE CHANGES TO LEGALLY REDUCE THE AMOUNT OF TAXES THAT YOU PAY EACH YEAR? MANY AMERICANS PAID LESS DUE TO CHANGES IN MARGINAL TAX BRACKETS AND OTHER REVISIONS. HOWEVER, SOME OF THE TAX CODE CHANGES ARE SCHEDULED TO EXPIRE IN 2025, AND IT’S ENTIRELY POSSIBLE THAT THEY WILL DISAPPEAR BEFORE THEN.

In other words, there is potentially an extremely limited opportunity to leverage current laws. The 2021 tax year may be the last chance to take advantage of these rules.

With such a limited amount of time, it’s important to act quickly. It’s reasonable to assume that the tax environment will be less favorable going forward, so locking the advantages in while you still can is critical.

Some of these hidden possibilities are more urgent than others, because you may need to make adjustments before December 31 to maximize them. Not all are available on a fiscal basis or can be delayed until you file. Make sure that you don’t lose the chance to benefit by running out of time to make decisions.

The current tax rates might be the lowest you’ll see for the rest of your life, and I want you to make the most of them. All of the following options are actions you can take right now to potentially lower your taxes this year and in the years to come. I strongly recommend that you take this list, along with your tax return, to your CPA and financial professional to see which tax reduction opportunities offer you the most benefit. If seizing these opportunities sounds good to you, keep reading.

HIDDEN OPPORTUNITY 1
BUNDLE UP!

Recent tax changes nearly doubled the standard deduction and did away with many write-offs, removing the tax benefit of itemizing deductions for many taxpayers. Given that the tax laws could be very different for the 2022 tax year, 2021 is a good time to optimize your deductions by “bunching” them to get over the standard deduction threshold. You can then take the standard deduction the following year—potentially maximizing your tax savings multiple years in a row.

For example, if your property taxes for 2022 are assessed in 2021, pay them in 2021 and take the deduction this year, too. In addition, you can make several years of charitable contributions this year, instead of making your usual annual contributions.

Do you have major medical-related expenses coming up? Potentially maximize your tax deduction by prepaying your out-of-pocket medical expenses for the year to help rise above the standard deduction amount. Make sure you bundle enough to meet the 7.5% AGI threshold for medical expenses. You might even get a discount for paying up front!

What kind of medical expenses qualify? A surprising number, including unreimbursed doctor fees, long-term care premiums, certain Medicare plans, and some home modifications such as wheelchair access.

HIDDEN OPPORTUNITY 2
CHARITY BEGINS AT YOUR IRA

Although 72 is now the age where you must start your required minimum distributions from your pre-tax retirement accounts, you still have the right to make Qualified Charitable Distributions (QCDs) directly from your IRA to a qualifying charity once you’re 70½.

The QCD allows you to exclude up to $100,000 from your gross income (with certain restrictions). You benefit from the tax reduction at the same time as you provide money to a cause that’s near and dear to you. It’s not clear what the fate of the QCD will be in the future, so act now to make sure that you take advantage of it while you still can.

HIDDEN OPPORTUNITY 3
CONVERT IN MODERATION

A Roth conversion is a great way to permanently lower your taxable income in retirement. It allows you to convert tax-deferred assets into tax-free assets and pay taxes on the conversion in an optimal tax year. Depending on changes in tax legislation, future tax brackets are unlikely to be as low as they are today. Converting some of your pre-tax money in 2021 not only allows you to lock in today’s beneficial bracket, but also to reduce the amount of money subject to Required Minimum Distributions in the future.

If the current brackets don’t expire until 2025, you can potentially continue to convert each year. If laws change, however, this could be the last year that a Roth conversion makes sense—especially if you’re still working. Convert only a bit at a time, so that you don’t accidentally push yourself into a higher tax bracket by converting too much.

The days when you could reverse a Roth conversion (called recharacterization) and eliminate the tax bill are gone, meaning once you convert that Traditional IRA to a Roth, you don’t get a do-over. So you really have to look at all the variables and pick the right time for the move.

HIDDEN OPPORTUNITY 4
OPTIMIZE INVESTMENT FEES

An itemized deduction that’s no longer available for American taxpayers is the one on investment fees, which often covered assets under management. Yet there’s still a way to pay fees with pre-tax dollars if they make sense in light of your overall financial goals and investment performance.

Qualified retirement accounts are permitted to pay their own expenses. Although many investors may not have been aware of this, the IRS allows for pre-tax money to be pulled from the applicable account.

Paying for advice fees with pre-tax money is in effect its own tax deduction. Ask your tax professional to run the numbers with you to try to maximize the potential after-tax return on your investments—not just the market return.

HIDDEN OPPORTUNITY 5
PUT THE RIGHT INVESTMENTS IN THE RIGHT PLACE AT THE RIGHT TIME

The most important step you can take right now to potentially reduce your taxes this year may be to review how and where you’re making retirement contributions. Why? Because you may be missing out on critical tax savings (and investment growth) if you’re not optimizing your contributions.

Depending on how close you are to retirement and your overall financial picture, you might be better off splitting contributions between retirement accounts. Or even diverting your contributions elsewhere to reduce debt, such as mortgage interest that is no longer deductible if you claim the standard deduction.

Looking at your overall portfolio and determining the optimal type, amount, and placement of contributions and savings could potentially make a big difference in how tax-efficient it is going forward into the future. You may need to do more planning than usual this year to ensure that you are squeezing out all the juice from the rules that are in place today.

MAKE THE MOST OF TAX OPPORTUNITIES THAT MAY EXPIRE AFTER THIS TAX YEAR

You’ve probably heard of FOMO: fear of missing out. In this case it might actually be helpful because it can help you take action.

Don’t lose a tax advantage to inertia, especially when it could be permanently expiring soon. While everyone must pay taxes, not everyone pays the same amount. The tax opportunities that could be most beneficial to you this year depend entirely on your personal financial situation. However, the complexity of the tax code means that in order to think through your options and make smart choices, you’ll likely need a professional to help you.

If you are currently working with a financial professional, are they looking at your tax return? They should be. If they’re not talking to your CPA, neither professional has a full picture of your finances.

You may be missing opportunities to make the most of your hard work and to potentially pay less in taxes. You’ve already taken the first step to seize these tax opportunities simply by reading through this article. While many of your peers are scrolling through social media, you already know some of the techniques that could potentially lower your taxes now and in the future.

This article is for informational purposes only. It has been compiled from data considered to be reliable, but we do not make any guarantees regarding accuracy, adequacy, or completeness. This information is not intended to be a substitute for specific individualized tax advice. We suggest that you discuss your specific tax issues with a qualified tax professional.

Ari Baum, CFP® is the founder and CEO of Endurance Wealth Partners, with over two decades of experience in the Financial Services industry. He brings his in-depth experience to Conceive. Believe. Achieve. for his clients.

Brokerage and Advisory accounts carried by Wells Fargo Clearing Services, LLC. Securities and Advisory services offered through Prospera Financial Services Inc. Member FINRA/SIPC.

CHAMPION, HERO, LEADER

SOPHIA FRANCO

WHILE MANY JEWS BEGAN TO LEAVE SYRIA AFTER WW I, SOME CHOSE TO STAY. IT WAS THE LIFE THEY KNEW, AND THEY WERE HAPPY. ASIDE FROM A FEW ANTI-SEMITIC ACTS, MOST FAMILIES THERE WERE THRIVING. THEY OWNED SUCCESSFUL BUSINESSES, ATTENDED JEWISH SHULS AND SCHOOLS, AND THE CHILDREN LEARNED SECULAR STUDIES IN FRENCH AND ARABIC, AND TORAH STUDIES AS WELL.

Yomtob was born in Aleppo in 1921 to Eliyahu and Zekieh Cohen, the second of nine children; seven boys and two girls. Unfortunately, his father died young from an illness, but Yomtob stepped up and took responsibility for his mother and siblings, making sure they had everything they needed.

Yomtob became a leader, not only for his family, but for the entire community. He was magnanimous, righteous, and kind. He loved people, and took great care of his friends. He was strong, well spoken, and reliable. While most Jews stayed quiet in Syria, under the radar, Yomtob was brave and unafraid to deal with the government. His belief in Hashem guided his every move.

On November 29, 1947, the historic day when the United Nations voted in favor of partitioning Palestine, everything changed. The very next day, riots became widespread in many Arab countries. In Aleppo and Damascus, anti-Jewish rebels ran through the streets with gas and torches, screaming, “Death to the Jews,” as they set many homes, businesses, shuls, and schools on fire, including a major portion of The Great Synagogue of Aleppo, which dates back to the time of David Hamelech.

The Jews went into hiding that day, fearing for their lives. Some hid by kind Christian or Armenian neighbors, and others joined family members in safer areas. To be clear, this was not the government acting against the Jews. These were rebels—armed with anger and frustration and anything they could get their hands on. Still, the police did nothing to stop them; in fact, many joined in the destruction.

Yomtob was only 26 years old at the time, but he had already made a name for himself in Aleppo. He managed business disputes, guided young men and women away from marrying out of the faith, and as a successful textiles merchant, he also lent money, as banks did not exist in Syria until much later on. When the riots calmed down, the police asked Yomtob to drive around in a police car with a bullhorn and let everyone know it was safe to come out. The very next day many Jews began to flee.

By 1948, when Israel announced their independent state, seven Arab countries had waged war against the Jews of Palestine. They attempted to wipe the new Jewish state out, but with Hashem’s help, Israel was able to defeat them. The 10,000 Jews of Syria suddenly became enemies of the state, hated by the government and the rest of the population. New restrictions on travel, importing and exporting went into effect, which made conducting business, and life, extremely difficult. More Jews were leaving the country underground, going through Turkey or Lebanon. It was scary though; those who left did so with only the clothes on their back and whatever they could carry. If they were caught attempting escape, they were imprisoned. Those who stayed, tried to rebuild, but were forced to live under the laws of the land, which were not in their favor.

In the mid-fifties a new governor gave the Jews permission to leave the country legally, on the condition they leave all their belongings, real estate and businesses behind. They also had to pay the government a large sum of money, which most people did not have. Yomtob played a big role in this.

In the USA and abroad, Sephardic communities collected donations to send to Syria. They needed a trustworthy person to handle these funds, and Yomtob was the perfect choice. He received the money, kept it safe, and used it to pay the government and get his community members out. He also helped friends and family with the approval application, which was a long and difficult process. Yomtob was sort of a liaison between the government and the community. His friends came to him with their issues, and he was not afraid to help, no matter the consequences.

Mr. Joseph Assa, who was in Syria at the time, tells this story vividly, “When Yomtob would come to Damascus he would visit my father, Rabbi Zaki Assa A”H, to get a beracha. My father was concerned about a family with nine young girls who were working in Muslim factories. Their father did not want to go to Israel, as he was accustomed to life the way it was, but the rabbi worried that the girls were in a dangerous predicament and could be easy targets for intermarriage. He asked Yomtob if he could help them get safely to Israel. Yomtob started the paperwork without the father knowing, and finally got them to Turkey, and then Israel. Today, these girls have children and grandchildren in Israel, thanks to Yomtob’s bravery.”

This legal exit for the Jews was short lived, but Yomtob continued secretly helping his people flee the country illegally. He was detained at one point, and when the investigator reported him to his superior, he bragged that they caught the “ring leader.” They suspected that Yomtob was involved in helping over 350 families escape to the “enemy” country of Israel. He and a few other Jewish men were jailed for 40 days, where they were beaten and tortured, but the extent of their involvement was never determined. It was a miracle they came out alive.

In 1956, Yomtob married Rosette Salman, daughter of Margalit and Haskel Salman. She was young, beautiful and educated, from a respected family in Iraq. After a grand ceremony in the shul, they returned to their home where they danced and enjoyed a festive celebration. For the first two years they lived with his family, as was customary, and started a family of their own. They had a daughter first, Ketty, and then Elie, Haskel and Margo.

Yomtob was strong and fearless, and he lifted weights to maintain that strength. In 1955, when the highly respected Rabbi Mose Mizrahi A”H passed away, he organized the funeral and made sure the school kids all attended and paid their respects properly. In 1960 when the community school ran out of space and needed to expand, Yomtob was among the first group to donate money for that purpose. His name was on a plaque there, among many other philanthropists of the community.

In another story, Yomtob saw a girl being attacked and raped by some Muslim men. While trying to save her, he was stabbed near the heart. He helped her escape to Israel as soon as he could. He also found a group of girls who had been kidnapped and arranged for their escape as well.

In yet another story, Zekieh Bawabeh applied for a special permit to leave the country, but became pregnant and had a baby daughter before the papers came through. When she attempted to cross the border, they told her she had to leave the baby in Syria because she did not have the proper papers for her. Her mom, Mrs. Sammouch A”H, asked Yomtob for help. Yomtob went to Bab Al-hawa, the Syrian border of Turkey, with Mr. Salim Farhi A”H, to bribe the guard and get them both to the other side safely. He was very sensitive, and always strived to help every person he could.

In 1962, there was still much chaos and many restrictions for Jews in Syria. While a young Murad Guindi was curiously watching a fleet of tanks gather in the square—a place he was forbidden to be—he was called to the police station for investigation. It was two days before his wedding, and his mom, Mrs. Lattouf Guindi A”H, went to Yomtob’s home begging him for help. Yomtob was known to be a good talker. He went with Murad to the police and said to them, “You called Murad here? Good! Because he wants to invite you to his wedding!” The police were not fooled. “Why were you in the square?” They asked Murad—you are forbidden!” With Yomtob by his side, they let Murad go, and he was married a couple of days later.

These stories are just a few of many. Times were very hard in Syria, but Yomtob and a few others stood their ground to try and help. They dreamed of a better life for their families in Israel or America, but he did not have a chance to see it.

Yomtob was partners with his brother in a fabric store, but often was out doing business in nearby villages or around the town. On October 31, 1963, he got into a taxi with three other people to travel to another village. The trip should have taken one hour, but tragically, Yomtob Cohen A”H, did not come home that day.

The family was informed that the car had flipped over, and when Yomtob tried to crawl out, he hit his head. The other passengers were unharmed. They were devastated, as you can imagine. Later on, Yomtob’s brother Ezra found almost $36,000 in his possession. While Ezra was not involved in these affairs, he knew this money belonged to the community and returned it to a committee member as his brother would have wanted, to continue the work of getting as many people out as possible. There is speculation about this accident, but nothing was ever proven. Was the Syrian government trying to get rid of him? Were they afraid of him, angry with him, or was it just an accident, as it seemed to be? We will never know. Yomtob was 42 years old.

His wife, Rosette was pregnant at the time, and when she gave birth to their son, she named him Toby, after his father whom he would never meet. Despite the hurt and pain of losing her husband, Rosette looked at her kids with hope for the future. She worried about every detail of their lives, including their education, food, clothing, vacations, and the friends they chose. She didn’t want them to feel that they were missing anything. Yomtob’s mother, Teta Zekieh, stayed with his wife and children, taking on a strong role in their upbringing. The children remember her as an eshet hayil, who prayed and gave them blessings at every opportunity, saying that everything they touched should turn to gold. She was known to never speak a word of lashon hara, no matter how hard she was coaxed. She taught the children to continue on, because life continues on.

One by one, the family made their way to America during the 1980s. When they arrived, they were without homes or jobs, they didn’t speak the language and didn’t understand the culture, but they followed in their father’s footsteps, holding onto their mesoret (traditions). They had good work ethics and they had each other. The brothers recall, “It was hard work but it was easy because we had a goal to succeed for our children.” They encourage their children to be patient, as nothing good comes easy. “Be proud of your family and community, and be honest—that will give you strength to be successful and build a good business. If you have money you must help people, and if not with money, then with time and advice. Our mother worked very hard, and because of her, we had everything. She is the rock of the family, still, and constantly reminds us that family is everything. Raising us without a father was difficult, but we never missed a thing. We are so appreciative and grateful, and from her experience, we can learn what life is about. Nothing was easy; we had to roll up our sleeves and get it done, but it did get done, so don’t panic, everything will be okay.”

Like their father, the Cohen family learned to rely on themselves. They were so proud of their father’s accomplishments, and gloried in the knowledge that every time someone spoke of Yomtob, they would say he was a great man who was fully respected and well-loved by the entire community. Mr. Assa continued, “When Rabbi Yakov Beracha came to Brooklyn from Israel to collect money for a yeshivah, I went with him to Elie Cohen. On my way there I remembered Elie’s father, and what he did for the community. I told the rabbi, ‘we need to name the school after this great man.’ That rabbi made a speech in a ceremony celebrating the grand opening of the Yeshivah. He spoke about Yomtob and all the people he helped get to Israel. “In this merit,” he said, “the name of the yeshivah will be Shaare Yomtob.” That is how the Shaare Yomtob Yeshivah started in Israel, in his memory. There are now more than 300 students there learning in the zechut (merit) of Yomtob Cohen.”

His children recall, “He was there for everybody. We constantly hear people saying, ‘I knew your father! He helped my family escape!’” His legacy lives on in his children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren, as they continue to grow, as proud members of this community, keeping their traditions strong, and helping in every way they can.

Sophia Franco has been feeding her love of reading and writing for as long as she can remember through poetry, community journalism, and songwriting.

SAVING A CEMETERY WHERE OUR ANCESTORS ARE BURIED

HASHEM HAS A VERY EFFICIENT AND WELL EXECUTED PLAN FOR US TO FULFILL. IN 1993 WHEN ITS RESTORATION WAS COMPLETED, EL BASSATINE, THE JEWISH CEMETERY IN CAIRO, WAS IN PERFECT CONDITION—COMPLETE WITH WALLS AND GATES THAT WERE NON-EXISTENT PRIOR AND A COMPLETED SUSPENSION BRIDGE CONNECTING THE ROAD AROUND CAIRO.

Our cemetery was safe and well-protected. I gave the keys and the responsibility to Carmen Weinstein, the then–President of the Jewish community of Cairo, Egypt.

In early 2019 I received a video from Egyptian TV in which an anchor woman was showing a video of El Bassatine Cemetery completely covered with garbage and debris and giving off an awful stench. The stone walls that were built were breached and the five huge steel gates had been stolen. She was bringing this hazardous situation to the attention of the government and demanding that they eliminate the cemetery because it was a severe health hazard to the community.

I immediately investigated and discovered that Mrs. Weinstein had passed away several years earlier and there was no one taking care of the cemetery.

The value of this property consisting of 6.5 acres in the heart of Cairo is very precious today and worth several hundred million dollars. I realized that many unscrupulous developers were vying for this property. They built makeshift inexpensive buildings surrounding the cemetery which was illegal. They also bypassed government regulations and dumped their sewer lines onto the grounds of the cemetery creating the stench that was emanating from it and covered the sewer lines with garbage and debris and encouraged the residents in the neighborhood to use the cemetery as a dumping ground to hide their criminal acts.

It broke my heart to see the devastation of the cemetery where my grandparents and many relatives were buried. Now I am 80 years old with limited funds and no government connections to save this cemetery. So, I prayed to the Almighty to help me once again as he had done before, and He listened. A few days later, I received a call from Mr. Joseph Douek, a commissioner from Brooklyn, who knew of my work for the El Bassatine Cemetery. He informed me that he was going to Egypt as part of a Jewish mission to meet with Egypt’s President Abdel Fatah El Sissi and asked if I would like him to deliver a message to the President.

I informed Mr. Douek of the present situation at the El Bassatine Cemetery and what I had done 30 years earlier and that President Hosni Mubarak had agreed to the reclamation of this holy ground. I informed him that this cemetery was deeded to the Jewish people of Egypt in the 7th century on land that was originally located 50 miles away from Cairo in the desert but the city expanded so much since then that the cemetery was now located in the heart of Cairo and is a very expensive and valuable property. Every developer is vying to own it and to build on it. Many of our ancestors were buried in this holy ground and they have earned the right to rest in peace.

Mr. Douek left on the mission with my information and my prayers to the Almighty to help him. He conveyed my message to President El Sissi who in turn ordered the return of this precious land to its rightful owners, the Jewish community and ordered his government to allow us to complete this second restoration.

The Almighty listened to my supplication and handed a great victory to the Jews of Egypt by safeguarding the resting place of our ancestors. I called Asra Kadisha, a dedicated organization that saves and protects all Jewish cemeteries and spoke to the Vice President, Rabbi Chizkiya Kalmanowitz, and connected him to the Vice President of the Jewish community in Egypt, Sammy Ibrahim. I told them to start replacing the breached walls and the five double steel gates around the cemetery. Then they proceeded to remove the garbage and debris. That’s when they discovered the hidden sewer lines. We needed to restore this precious holy ground. We needed an enormous amount of money, approximately half a million dollars, to restore the cemetery to its original condition.

Rabbi Kalmanowitz of Asra Kadisha is an expert on Jewish cemeteries. He went to Egypt with Sammy Ibrahim and they estimated that the work would take at least 18 months for cleaning and restoration. We sent several rabbis to oversee this huge task. They needed hotels, kosher food, airline tickets, transportation and workers. Each day we hired approximately 40 workers and rented trucks, bulldozers, and forklifts.

I started asking friends for donations, which we sent to Asra Kadisha. We needed to raise an enormous of money, enough to restore the cemetery to its original condition. The best approach to raise the additional funds was suggested by my brother, Bobby Soffer. He recommended that I approach the President of Ahaba Ve Ahva, a Jewish Egyptian congregation, Solomon Barnathan and his committee and ask them to raise the additional funds. The project was fully supported and endorsed by their Rabbi, Shimon Alouf, Eli Harari and Isaac Chehebar and their entire executive board to encourage the community to disburse the money needed directly to Asra Kadisha.

I received weekly videos, pictures and communications showing the progress of this huge task. While cleaning, graves belonging to many great rabbis were discovered. The mausoleum of the Chief Rabbi of Egypt, Haim Nahum Effendi zt’l was discovered and an illustrious Rabbi, Yehudah Maslaton zt’l was buried there in 1934. He was brother to the honorable Rabbis Mordechai Maslaton zt’l grandfather of our Rabbi Shaul Maslaton.

Another great miracle occurred when one of the rabbis while searching for plans and surveys of El Bassatine at the government office was told of the existence of another very old Jewish cemetery called Fostat, as old as El Bassatine and slightly smaller in size and also located in the heart of old Cairo. I had no idea of its existence as it had been closed many centuries earlier because it was filled to capacity. I immediately asked the rabbis in Egypt to check on it.

Unfortunately, it was in the same devastating condition as El Bassatine, so we took it upon ourselves to build walls and gates that had been non-existent in Fostat cemetery. That work is being accomplished as I am writing these words. We are removing tons of garbage and debris and I have assigned a second crew with trucks, bulldozers, and forklifts.

Cairo’s summer heat averages 110˚ and these rabbis deserve our utmost gratitude and appreciation for their courage and devotion and expertise to do this entire project according to Din Halacha at great personal sacrifice and to work in Egypt under this enormous heat.

A great Hazak u Baroukh to Solomon Barnathan and the executive board of Ahaba Ve Ahva for their full financial support, to Rabbi Shimon Alouf for his support, Eli Harari and Isaac Chehebar, to Joseph Douek for his accomplishment with President El Sissi and to President El Sissi to whom we are grateful for his respect in honoring our ancestors, and to my brother, Bobby Soffer for his guidance and advice. May Hashem bless all Am Israel.

When Am Israel unites great accomplishments and miracles can happen. We always need to stand up and be counted on to help all our brethren, alive or more so if they are dead. Amen Ken Yehi Ratzon (may it be His will).

Clement Soffer was expelled from Egypt in 1957 and came to the USA by himself. He was sponsored by Mirrer Yeshiva. He was instrumental in building Ahavah ve Ahva, as well as synagogues in Florida. He helped secure the freedom of 4,500 Jews from Syria and has salvaged Jewish Egyptian cemeteries, as well as other cemeteries around the world.

AIMING TO COMBAT ANTI-SEMITISM

BARBARA MELAMED

GROWING UP IN THE SYRIAN COMMUNITY, WE’RE LEFT UNEXPOSED TO ANTI-SEMITISM UNTIL IT MANIFESTS CLOSE TO HOME. ONCE EXPOSED, MANY OF OUR COMMUNITY’S YOUNG ADULTS FEEL OVERWHELMED AND UNPREPARED. AS SAID BY FRIEDA COHEN, “I NEVER THOUGHT THIS WOULD HAPPEN TO ME, ON MY CAMPUS. IT JUST WASN’T POSSIBLE.”

After Michael Harary reached out to Ronnie Kassin and Frieda Cohen, they aligned a team of young adults ages 18 to 21 aiming to combat this issue of anti-Semitism. The committee felt frustrated and attacked and could no longer stand on the sidelines and watch our own nation be dangerously targeted. Instead, they decided to gather the resources necessary to combat anti-Semitism in all environments. This team is now known as Enough is Enough (EIE).

By empowering Jewish identity, implementing interactive education, and raising awareness amongst young adults, Enough is Enough will create a platform aiming to unite the community, build Jewish pride, and provide educational resources to fight against anti-Semitism. They plan to educate and empower students on why they must respond and how to properly respond to anti-Semitism. This starts with our high school students. It is our job to instill confidence and information within their minds so they will speak up in the face of adversity.

This past summer, EIE ran four inspiring and impactful events which attracted over five hundred participants. They collaborated with AIPAC and The SCC to conduct “Stoop Talk,” a moderated discussion with Julian Coakley, hosted by Monique and David Haddad. Coakley is a Christian man from the Bahamas who eventually became a valued member of AIPAC, and advocates for Israel. He stressed the importance of coexisting and the impact of having individual conversations to combat hate. After Stoop Talk, EIE put together a fundraising tennis match hosted by Ester and Joey Jerome with our very own David Mizrahi. Mizrahi spoke about his experiences and challenges while being away from home. “We have to realize that when we step into the real-world people are watching us. You are representing more than just yourself; you are representing an entire Jewish nation.”

Additionally, EIE held an exclusive interactive discussion for youth community leaders, in which they reflected upon the current situation in America and how the community can better prepare each other to be leaders as they enter adulthood. The young adults were able to showcase their inner thoughts while motivating each other to learn and do more. Their most recent event was held in partnership with StandWithUs. Together EIE, along with StandWithUs professionals, set up a variety of workshops where they went over specific tactics on how to respond to hate. Today, EIE is an SCA and StandWithUs affiliate, and is planning on partnering with many other successful organizations.

Their mission doesn’t stop there. There’s still a major lack of education regarding anti-Semitism that Enough is Enough intends to confront. As StandWithUs professional Avi Posnick said, “Anti-Semitism is a virus and EIE is creating the vaccine.” EIE plans on bringing interactive skill building and educational workshops to high school students across our community. From there they hope to expand into college campuses and beyond. Additionally, EIE is currently running a book club for young adults to further broaden their knowledge on the history of Jew hatred.

They would like to thank our incredible community that stands strong with Israel and supports organizations such as EIE, so they are able to make a difference. EIE is eager to do its part in combating one of the longest standing forms of hate the world has ever seen. We are Jews. We are proud. Enough is Enough.

Barbara Melamed is a freelance writer currently studying as an English major at Brooklyn College. She joined the Enough is Enough team eager to make a difference and stand in the fight against antiSemitism.

A HISTORIC CEREMONY HONORING 99 YEAR OLD WORLD WAR II VETERAN AND HERO OSCEOLA “OZZIE” FLETCHER, HOSTED BY CONGRESSWOMAN YVETTE CLARKE, WAS RECENTLY HELD AT THE JEWISH CHILDREN’S MUSEUM.

Mr. Fletcher, a longtime resident of Crown Heights, finally received his long-deserved Purple Heart this past June in Washington, DC, after his heroic service went unrecognized for eight decades.

After being injured in an explosion, Fletcher was not awarded the Purple Heart, “due to the US Army’s policy against Black soldiers,” Congresswoman Clarke related in her remarks. “During that time they were often overlooked and deliberately denied the Purple Heart.”

After the war, Fletcher returned to New York and made Crown Heights his home. He has been married for 72 years and has 5 children, 7 grandchildren, and 3 great-grandchildren. He served in the NYPD for 26 years, was a teacher for 14 years, and worked as a community relations specialist in the District Attorney’s Office for 24 years.

“Ozzie, you are indeed an inspiration to us all,” Congresswoman Clarke said as she presented a proclamation to him, “in recognition of your service to our country, fighting to uphold human rights and aiding in the efforts to save Holocaust survivors.”

Distinguished attendees included Israeli Deputy Consul General Israel Nitzan, JCM Founder Devorah Halberstam, 71st Precinct Commanding Officer Inspector Joseph Hayward, Community Affairs Commanding Officer Deputy Inspector Richie Taylor, NYPD Clergy Liaison and Flatbush COJO Board Member David Heskiel, Jewish Liaison to Congresswoman Clarke, Eli Slavin, 71st Precinct Community Affairs Detective Mike Baratta, Marine Park JCC President Shea Rubenstein, Crown Heights JCC Executive Director Rabbi Eli Cohen, and Flatbush COJO CEO Louis Welz.

Congresswoman Clarke invited numerous Holocaust survivors to attend the event. They all expressed Hakaras Hatov (appreciation) to Private First Class Fletcher.

WHEN IT’S JUST THE TWO OF YOU

SARINA ROFFE

EMPTY NESTERS, SINGLES AND THOSE LOOKING FOR NEW IDEAS MAY WANT TO TRY THESE EASY RECIPES. TYPICALLY, I AM PREPARING FOR A LARGE FAMILY. I KNOW THAT LOTS OF FOLKS HAVE A HARD TIME GOING FROM RECIPES THAT FEED 6, 8 OR EVEN 10 PEOPLE TO RECIPES THAT FEED 2.

Often, I would prepare a meal for the whole family just to find out it was just me and my husband. When this happened, I’d have a ton of leftovers. When I know it’s just going to be hubby and me, I whip up these recipes in 30 minutes and it’s a great dinner or lunch for two. Sometimes I will prepare one of these and take it for lunch in the office for me and my office mate. Try them, they are vegetarian, easy to make and delicious too!

MEDITERRANEAN BOWL WITH PISTACHIO RICE

Ingredients

• 1 red onion, half diced and half in wedges
• 2 cloves garlic, minced
• 3 sprigs parsley, chopped
• 1 lemon, zested
• 8 to 10 grape tomatoes, halved
• ½ cup basmati rice
• 1 tablespoon butter or olive oil
• 2 tablespoons pistachios, finely chopped
• 1 14 oz can chickpeas, drained and rinsed
• 2 teaspoons shwarma spice
• 4 tablespoons sour cream

Directions

Preheat oven to 400˚. In 1 quart pot, melt butter over medium heat, add the diced red onion, half the pistachios, half the garlic and 1 teaspoon shwarma spice. Cook and stir for 2 minutes, add ¾ cup water. Bring to a boil, then reduce heat to low and cook 15 min until rice is tender.

On a baking sheet, toss red onion wedges with tomatoes, chickpeas with large drizzle of olive oil Mix in 1 teaspoon shwarma spice, salt and pepper. Roast in oven for 15 minutes. Remove from oven and toss with lemon zest.

Optional: Mix sour cream with remaining garlic and salt. Stir in 1 teaspoon water and mix to drizzling consistency. Fluff rice and add cilantro and 1 tablespoon butter (optional). Spoon into 2 bowls. Top with vegetables and chickpeas. Sprinkle with juice from lemon. Drizzle with garlic sauce, if desired. Tip: if you’d like to make your own shwarma spice, mix equal parts: cumin, garlic powder, paprika, coriander, black pepper, and allspice.

TUNISIAN BULGHUR CARROT BOWLS WITH ORANGE PARSLEY VINAIGRETTE, FETA AND ALMONDS

Ingredients

• 3 carrots, peeled and sliced on angle
• ½ cup bulghur
• 4 sprigs parley, finely chopped
• 5 teaspoons red wine vinegar
• 3 oz fresh spinach
• ½ oz slivered almonds
• 1 tablespoon Tunisian spice
• ½ orange, zested, juice half orange and peel and dice the other half
• 2 teaspoons Dijon mustard
• Olive oil
• Salt and pepper
• ½ teaspoon sugar
• ½ cup feta cheese
• 1 oz dried apricots, diced

Directions

Preheat oven to 400˚. On baking sheet, drizzle carrots with olive oil, salt and ½ teaspoon Tunisian spice. Roast on top rack for 18 minutes. In 1 quart saucepan, combine apricots, bulghur, salt and 1 cup water. Boil, reduce to simmer and cover. Cook until water is absorbed, about 10 to 12 minutes. Remove from heat, uncover and cool slightly.

Make vinaigrette: add vinegar, mustard, half of the parsley, 2 tablespoons olive oil, ½ teaspoon sugar, salt and pepper. Whisk.

Place spinach in bowl and drizzle with half the vinaigrette. Toss well. Fluff bulghur and add to spinach with half the feta. Toss to combine.

Spoon bulghur salad into 2 bowls. Top with carrots, almonds, diced orange and remaining feta. Sprinkle with parsley and chili flakes (optional, as it adds heat).

Tip: If you would like to make your own Tunisian spice, combine ½ teaspoon garlic powder, ½ teaspoon smoked paprika, ¼ teaspoon turmeric, ½ teaspoon chili powder, 2 tablespoons ground coriander, 2 teaspoons ground caraway, ¼ teaspoon cayenne pepper, ¼ teaspoon cinnamon and ½ teaspoon black pepper.

TAGINE – APRICOT, ALMOND AND CHICKPEA WITH BASMATI RICE

Ingredients

• 1 onion, diced
• 2 cloves garlic, minced
• 1 can chickpeas, drained and rinsed
• 4 dried apricots, diced in small pieces
• 1 oz sliced almonds
• ½ cup basmati rice
• 1 zucchini
• 1 tablespoon Tunisian spice
• 1 lemon, zested and juiced
• 4 sprigs parsley, finely chopped
• Butter
• 4 tablespoons sour cream
• Salt and pepper

Directions

In 1 quart saucepan, drizzle olive oil over medium heat. Add ½ of the onion and saute until softened, about 4 minutes.
Add ¾ cup rice, and ¼ teaspoon salt. Bring to a boil, lower heat to simmer, cover and cook until water is evaporated, about 12 minutes.

In fry pan, heat drizzle of olive oil. Halve the zucchini lengthwise and slice crosswise into half moons. Add to pan with remaining onion and sauté until slightly browned, about 8 minutes. Add 1 teaspoon Tunisian spice, remaining garlic and salt to taste. Cook 2 more minutes.

Add 1/3 cup water to pan with chickpeas. Bring to simmer and let liquid reduce slightly. Add 1 tablespoon butter, juice from lemon, salt and pepper to taste.

Fluff rice and stir in 1 tablespoon butter; add salt and pepper to rice. Spoon rice into 2 bowls. Top with vegetables, almonds, and apricots. Sprinkle with parsley.

Optional: combine sour cream, salt and lemon zest. Mix and add 1 teaspoon of water at a time to get desired drizzle consistency. Drizzle over tagine.

Sarina Roffé is author of Backyard Kitchen: Mediterranean Salads and Backyard Kitchen: The Main Course. as well as Branching Out from Sepharad, available on Amazon. Her recipes have appeared in the NY Times, NY Times Jewish Cookbook as well as Joan Nathan’s Jewish Cooking in America. Sarina also wrote the “Food and Drink: Modern Period, Syria.” Her recipes can also be found at sephardiccuisine.com.

AN ANONYMOUS OLDER SINGLE

THEY SAY THERE ARE A LOT MORE FISH IN THE SEA. BUT WHEN YOU TAKE A LOOK AT THE SEA, IT IS IMPOSSIBLE NOT TO BE CYNICAL, TO SEE THE FISH ALL STRUGGLING, DESPERATE TO GET OUT OF THE WATER, TO BE PLACED IN THEIR OWN LITTLE TANK WITH JUST ONE OTHER.

The jaded heart does not comfort easily and the bruises acquired through years of experience never really go away. So you jump in the sea and give each fish in it a blinding flash of attention before turning to the next, never fully focusing on one too long, afraid to get hurt yet again. Afraid to be given the fraction of attention by ones who have been hurt just like you.

All of the scar-free fish have already been snatched, mostly when they were young and serene, not a care in the world, just starting out. They gave their pure hearts to the one who loved them, never asking questions, never hesitating to share their heart with someone else, that special someone they would do anything for and their loved one’s heart is equally shared in return.

All those left in the sea are the ones with broken fins, shattered hearts, fragmented souls too afraid but yearning for one just as bruised as they are to give them a chance, to give their attention to them for a moment, to pause and look into their eyes, the windows leading to their hurting soul, to give comfort and to make the choice to swim away to their very own little fish tank, away from the vast sea, where all of the other fish still swim, circling each other and waiting for another to give it all they’ve got. The chance of that happening should be high. After all, there are a lot more fish in the sea.

Sadly, surrounded by others yet totally alone, they never find comfort in each other’s company. They are strangers, never stopping long enough to find out what makes the other special, to form a bond that might connect their two hearts as one. Instead, they keep searching for one with fewer scars, who may be more beautiful, carefree, or perfect in some way.

The search never ends, a continuous journey of disappointments and longing, the waters surrounding them infused with fear of the unknown, swirling with regret and deep despair.

I ask you not to be afraid. I ask you to find just one, and make the choice to give it all you’ve got, so that you can swim away together to a tank of your very own. I ask you to leave the sea. The sea hurts the fish that are in it. The longer they are in there, the more dulled and pained they become, never resting, never ceasing to search, to find what is already there, that one beautiful fish that has been swimming right in front of them all along.

Compromise, take turns before you even love them, and give with your whole heart, choosing to dedicate your time and attention to one special person. Love is a choice and staying with that person who brings healing and happiness to your soul is one that you make constantly.

It may not be easy, but it is far more rewarding and beautiful than swimming with no end in sight. Choose friendship, companionship, and love; they are stronger than the deepest currents of the ocean. Choose someone to hug and to hold, to laugh and to cry with, to hold hands with and stay connected to. Catch one you like and never let it go.

One day, my hope is that there are fewer fish in the sea.

WITH THE HELP OF BROOKLYN’S BEST TOASTMASTERS

RACHEL ASHKENAZI

MANY YEARS AGO, I FOUND MYSELF IN A LEADERSHIP POSITION, SOMEWHAT ACCIDENTALLY. THIS WAS NOT SOMETHING I WAS READY FOR NOR WAS I FULLY COMFORTABLE WITH IT. I KNEW I HAD THE POTENTIAL FOR THE BACK-END WORK, BUT BEING FRONT AND CENTER WAS NOT SOMETHING I WANTED ANY PART OF.

Even more traumatic was finding myself, some months in, writing a speech to be delivered in front of thirty women. I wrote, I drafted, I edited. I woke up that morning with laryngitis.

I took to the podium with my body shaking from nerves and my voice cracking every other syllable. Miraculously, I somehow managed to crawl through the speech. I doubt anyone understood a word I attempted to say that afternoon. But it was over and I could breathe again. Until the next month when I had to do it all over again.

I wrote, I drafted, I edited. I woke up that morning with laryngitis. I kid you not, this pattern happened five or six times that year. Public speaking was, quite literally, making me sick. I vowed never to be in that position again and made sure to stay behind the scenes for the next several years, comfortably so.

And then I hit a wall. I had reached the point where making any progress on any of the paths I was leaning towards required public speaking skills, or at the very least the ability to address a crowd and not turn four shades of red. Only so much could be done without using your voice.

You could research public speaking to death, as I did, read books, as I did, study the greats, as I did, but the only way to truly get better at public speaking is through practice, and plenty of it. There is just no way around it. And so I jumped into Toastmasters, not willing to leave my dreams unrealized.

I reached out to Allegra Mamiye, President of Brooklyn’s Best Toastmasters (BBTM), who introduced me to the process and became my Toastmasters mentor. It was just that simple. One phone call and I had the full championing of the Toastmasters team behind me. It’s this combination of a dedicated mentor and an encouraging toastmaster group that allows each member to achieve success.

BBTM is our community club, chartered with Toastmasters International, a worldwide organization with a mission to create leaders through public speaking. BBTM is an incredibly supportive space where we’re all working towards the same goal, each of us at our own level and pace, each of us maintaining our individuality.

Whether it’s to present in front of a board, solicit on behalf of a charity or add polish to social media videos, this is the place to build those skills. When you’re comfortable in front of a crowd, the world opens up. You can put your ideas to use and make change, help others, create beauty. Effective communication skills are the gateway to confidence and leadership and to personal, familial and career success.

Toastmasters addresses the many aspects of public speaking. Most speech requirements have specific goals attached to them ranging from the preliminary steps of organizing and researching content to pinpointing and refining your personal delivery style. Skills like voice intonation, pauses and body language are worked on. Persuading an audience and using visual aids are practiced as well.

After one year in this amazing club, I’m still in disbelief every time I don’t get nervous before delivering a speech. I’m excited. I look forward to organizing my thoughts and words and sharing them. At the meetings, I’m eager to hear from my peers, to learn from them and witness their growth. When we partake in Table Topics, the impromptu speaking portion of the night, we laugh and challenge each other with our sometimes silly, sometimes thought-provoking questions.

Outside of Toastmasters I notice a difference too. I make a conscious effort to speak up more in meetings. I encourage a more elevated, descriptive vocabulary from my children. I learned to mentally prep what I’m going to say before I say it. Perhaps, most importantly, I haven’t had laryngitis in years!

For me, the Toastmasters benefits really come down to one simple thing—having a space to regularly exercise my public speaking skills. The how-to steps of speechmaking and evaluating we practice are incredible but that’s not what the main event is for me. BBTM is a place to learn, to trip and fall, and get back up without professional or social consequences. And the feedback is specific, ensuring we will do better next time.

This past July we had the thrill of our first in person meeting in over a year! For some who joined while on Zoom, it was a chance to finally meet our new crew in person. Taking these relationships offline was so rewarding and the energy in the room was palpable. The live/real time interaction between speaker and listener is something Zoom just can’t replicate. Our creativity has been rekindled and this is the year we’re going to push ourselves and take BBTM to new heights!

And so I invite you all to step into the Toastmasters arena and come practice with us. Please reach out to Nellie Haddad, VP of Membership, at nellbell1818@aol.com to strengthen your skills and elevate your life, infusing it with a renewed energy and a readiness to express yourself.

Get inspired. Build yourself. Share your mind. Live your dreams. Join Toastmasters.

Rachel Ashkenazi is Vice President of Public Relations, Brooklyn’s Best Toastmasters. She is a life long student who is always learning and growing.

RECENTLY, SBH BUSES TOOK 400 HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS TO UPSTATE NEW YORK FOR THE HIGHLY ANTICIPATED SBH JUNIOR MARATHON. THIS WEEKEND, AND PREPARING FOR IT, TAUGHT THE STUDENTS ABOUT HESED, SELF-ENCOURAGEMENT AND LEADERSHIP.

For many of these students, the Junior Marathon is the first time they raise money for charity, train for a 10K, and experience a full weekend away from home. It’s SBH’s goal to imbue the next generation of leaders with hesed, kindness and the dedication to give back.

Esther Naftali, one of the Junior Marathon Captains, shared her thoughts on the incredible weekend, “SBH Junior Marathon is a weekend never to be forgotten. It is filled with excitement, inspiration, motivation, and devotion. The beautiful and delicious Shabbat meals, as well as the fun and games provided, are just one small part of the weekend. From musical chairs to writing Shabbat-o-grams, to dancing in the rain, to running in the marathon, there’s always more excitement coming your way. Running in the marathon helps build one’s confidence and gives the runners that little boost that they can do anything they put their minds to. The speeches given throughout the weekend keep you on edge. The emotions and spirituality one feels during the times of the singing and speeches, won’t only change one’s perspective on hesed, but on one’s entire life as well! As you watch the tears fall and feel the love and connection to the people around you, you will want to freeze time, and live in that moment forever. Being a part of this powerful trip causes you to truly change your idea of hesed. Hesed isn’t only about giving to, caring for, and loving people without receiving anything in return; Hesed isn’t about changing the world and doing something astronomical. True hesed, in its essence, is acts of kindness to others, it’s the small acts done for the ones closest to you. It’s those tiny little acts that will bring you to the start of something new. This truly is what the idea of SBH’s Junior Marathon is all about. Taking that first step and desiring to do that hesed without it feeling like a chore, getting that feeling of accomplishment, and most importantly, giving you that push and opening your eyes to what SBH is all about. Hesed is a ripple effect. Trust me, once you start, you will never want to stop.”

The SBH Youth Division has hesed events every night of the week.

RABBI EZRA MAX PCC, MHMP

HAVE YOU EVER EXPERIENCED STRESS OR SELF-DOUBT? STRESS IS KNOWN TO BE A KILLER. IT CAN CAUSE MEDICAL, PSYCHOLOGICAL AND EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS THAT CAN LEAD TO HEART ATTACK, STROKE, AND DEATH.

What if you could live a stress-free life? What would it be worth to have no stress? How nice would that be? Perhaps there’s a way of managing stress so that it doesn’t kill us. What if we could understand stress differently, making it not all bad and evil. What if there are benefits to stress? What if there’s some value in being stressed?

One of my clients was doing really well. Millions of dollars in revenue with a decent-sized team when they hit a “speed bump,” which then created a few more bumps, and he was completely stressed out. Constant challenges, constantly putting out fires is how he described it.

“Oh, so you’re a fireman?” I asked.

He said, “No, I’m a businessman. I have a business, a team, customers, clients and vendors.”

I said, “It sounds like you’re a fireman.”

He replied, “I don’t know, fireman, businessman, fact is, I’m a very stressed out man, and I heard you can help me. Can you help me?”

“Yeah, absolutely.” I said, “I understand it, I get it. You have a tremendous amount of demands and you have constant emergencies. There are urgent situations that require your attention, and you feel like you’re not even breathing half of the time. At this point, you want to pull your hair out, escape, sell the business, or run away, but you can’t. You’re too invested here and you need to do something. I get it. Your life is mega stressful.”

He said, “Yeah, but can you solve it? Can you fix the problem?”

I answered, “Well, I don’t know if I can fix this for you, but I might be able to help you improve things. I can help you redefine your stress. If you allow me, I can coach you through a process of shifting, how you address your business, how you put out fires and help you become a fire chief instead of a fireman. I might know something about this from my years of experience in EMS (Emergency Medical Service) leadership.”

We began with understanding stress and its purpose. What I helped him recognize is that the stress and tension he was feeling was a message for him. True, it created a fight or flight type of response and this was becoming traumatic for him. Through coaching, he began to see benefits in feeling stressed because it was helping him notice potential problems and make improvements.

The ParenTEEN experience, an online program for parents to teach them the skills and tools I’ve been using to help families for over 20 years, was created from stress. Because parents keep telling me; we’re overwhelmed, we can’t handle this, we’re frustrated and need you to “fix my teen.” There are not enough hours in the day to help everyone, and I wanted to give back and make these tools accessible for people who weren’t able to pay $1,000’s for 1:1 coaching.

To be less stressed, we must begin to understand stress from a different perspective and perhaps even embrace it. Dr. Danny Friedland teaches that the essence of stress is when the perceived demands upon us are greater than our resources. When the demands upon us feel overwhelming, we react in fight or flight, triggering a downward negative spiral leading to feeling trapped. This can lead to collapse, depression, feeling extremely overwhelmed and burnout.

What are you to do, when the demands upon you are greater than the resources that you have?

You can use the tools and redefine your relationship with stress.

It’s not so funny, but when we’re feeling stressed, we’re stressed and that’s the most significant stress. Because we’re stressed about our stress and don’t know what to do, which creates more stress.

In the “Manage Your Stress 2.1” workshops, we encourage you to think about stress as information. You learn to pause, ground, breathe, notice and choose your response. Here are some possible reactions and ways for you to understand your stress.

REACT: This is usually an automatic fight or flight type reaction.

TEND & BEFRIEND: Tend to the distress and get curious about what it’s telling you.

HARNESS the ENERGY: Employ the energy and channel it to your advantage.

25 years ago as a young man starting out in the business world, I switched jobs planning to make more money and accepted less weekly income with long-term commissions. Meanwhile, I was going broke, and the fear of failure, the fear of not paying my rent, the fear of not being able to pay my bills, and the shame of not earning enough money to care for my family appropriately weighed heavily upon me because I was making less than what we needed. My income was less than my expenses and my savings were dwindling. As I looked at these negative numbers, my stress increased and the fight or flight instinct kicked in. The fear of failure was paramount, and yet this also created a particular fuel of desire. It fired me up and generated tremendous drive.

Instead of shutting me down and causing me to collapse, this fueled a tremendous drive and desire. Over the following 10 months, I doubled my income. Not once, but twice. You can do the same.

Remember, you have the most incredible resource for any demand. Hashem loves you and you can rely on Him to help you navigate your stress for your benefit. Stress can actually be a gift.

Rabbi Ezra Max, PCC, MHMP, Xchange Guide & Creator of “The Max Method” assists businesses and professionals deal with stress and achieve success. Rabbi Max has witnessed 20 years of results helping executives, parents and teens overcome struggles, improve communication and thrive. He lives in New York with his wife and five children.