SARINA ROFFÉ

I HAVE VAGUE CHILDHOOD MEMORIES OF ATTENDING A WEDDING CEREMONY AND BEING HANDED A SMALL BOX OF CHOCOLATES WHEN I LEFT. IN THOSE DAYS, BENSONHURST HAD NO SOCIAL HALLS, SO THE BRIDE AND GROOM WOULD GO TO SYNAGOGUE TO GET MARRIED AND THEN GO BACK TO THE HOUSE FOR THE RECEPTION.

Engagement parties, bridal showers, all social occasions were held in the home, much like they were in the countries we hailed from—Syria, Egypt, and Morocco, to name a few. It’s been a long time since I was handed a box of chocolates after a wedding; times have changed!

Still, there are many traditions that live on in our community from the old countries we descend from. As parents it is natural to feel protective of our children. We want to make sure when they marry, that they are marrying into a good family, with similar values, and that they will be happy with each other. We also want to find out as much about our child’s potential soulmate as possible.

Often, the parents each discreetly inquire as to the others’ background. They want to know about the parents—who they are, the type of people they are, the type of business they are in and so on. ‘Dating’ does not continue if one side disapproves of the other side. This type of vetting of a child’s potential mate continues even today, and with good reason.

When our children marry, the two families also wed. The families come together for the sake of grandchildren, and at each holiday or occasion that occurs. Marriage is difficult and we want to make sure our children marry someone with similar beliefs, and are happy, and the couple will remain together for many years to come.

There have always been certain protocols in our community, when it comes to engagements and weddings. These protocols continue to this day. When the couple gets engaged, the groom’s mother calls the bride’s mother to congratulate the family and wish them good luck. This is followed with a small ‘meet the family,’ for the immediate family on both sides to get to know each other. Then, there’s usually a larger engagement party where the extended families and friends are invited.

An engagement party is a very happy occasion, where the parents are filled with pride. The minute a guest sees any of the parents of the engaged couple, he or she says, Mabrook! (Arabic for congratulations). The celebrating parent responds with Abalek, an expression that means wishing you the same good fortune for your children. If the guest does not have any unmarried children, the proper response is abal il zghy’reen, meaning “May the same happen for your grandchildren.”

In Syria, the week before the wedding, the groom’s mother sent gifts to the bride, including a purse with money to go to the mikvah (ritual bath), where she would prepare herself for her wedding night, and a white handkerchief. The handkerchief was used to clean the bride after her first union with the groom.

The Middle Eastern tradition of sending money to a bride so she can go to the mikvah has grown into a swanee. The swanee maintains the same tradition of sending gifts to the bride, such as a nightgown or peignoir set, perfumes, an evening purse and jewelry. When I was a bride, the celebration was an afternoon tea, where coffee and desserts were served. I remember huge trays decorated with pearls and white covered almonds.

When the bride receives the swanee, she puts it on display for friends and relatives. It is an occasion for celebration. These are elaborately displayed with white almonds and flowers, as well as 18 ka’ack el bloz. These ka’ack are very decorative, made from almond paste infused with rose water, and braided.

The gifts have become became more and more elaborate, a function of wealth. Today, it is widely accepted that gifts are also bought for the groom by the bride’s parents. Today, the swanee is combined with the American tradition of a bridal shower.

The food of our culture is important to who we are and where we come from. Every special occasion in our community calls for certain foods and indeed there are special foods that we serve only on certain occasions. Whether Syrian, Moroccan, Egyptian, or Mexican, each ethnic culture has its own food and traditions.

I learned all about protocol, the do’s and don’ts of what you do when a child gets married, from watching my mom manage four weddings. I also learned about the special foods, so lovingly prepared, on these very special occasions.

The following recipes are from Sarina’s Sephardic Cuisine, recipes handed down from my grandmother Estrina Cohen Salem A”H and Salem Catering. The business catered many a meet the family, engagement, and wedding, during the Bensonhurst years of our community. Esther had a backyard kitchen, the title of my cookbooks. Backyard Kitchen; Mediterranean Salads and Backyard Kitchen; The Main Course are available on Amazon and for Kindle. Sarina’s Sephardic Cuisine cooking app is available in the Apple store.

There are four recipes that are generally served. Shrob El Boz, a white drink made from almond juice, is served. Traditionally it is passed around on silver trays to guests entering the home. Symbolic of fertility, the intoxicating fragrance of this drink is unmistakably romantic and a special treat. This tradition is from Spain as it is similar to the Spanish drink Horchata, made with almond or rice milk.

Knafe, El Masiye and Ka’ack El Bloz are sweet desserts so the couple will have a sweet life. Knafe is made from shredded phyllo dough and ricotta cheese and topped with sweet syrup flavored with rose water. El Masiya is a fragrant pudding served at engagement parties or a swanee. Ka’ack El Bloz is a bracelet shaped pastry made from almond butter and flavored with rose water.

SHROB EL’BLOZ
Ingredients
• 1 cup raw almonds
• 2 cups sugar
• 8 cups water
• 1 tablespoon rose water

Directions

Blanch almonds in a large pot of boiling water. Let boil for 1 minute. Turn off gas and let sit for 30 minutes. The skins will loosen. Drain water and the skin should pop off.

Place blanched almonds in an electric blender, using 3 cups of water. Blend three minutes at high speed. Strain through a fine sieve. Reserve the pulp to make almond cookies. Return almond milk to blender, adding 5 cups of water, sugar and rose water. Blend until frothy. Refrigerate in jars until ready to serve. Serve in tall glasses with ice.

K’NAFE
Ingredients
• ¹/³ cup milk
• ½ pint heavy cream
• 3 tablespoons sugar
• 2 tablespoons cornstarch
• 1 lb. k’nafe dough
• 3 sticks butter
• 2 lb. ricotta cheese
• ½ teaspoon rose water

Directions
Mix cream, sugar and cornstarch in saucepan. Boil and simmer until thick, stirring often. Cool thoroughly and blend with ricotta.

Separately, melt butter. While still warm pour over k’nafe, mixing thoroughly so that dough is completely covered. Place ½ of k’nafe mixture into bottom of a 3 quart Pyrex. Pour ricotta on top, spreading evenly. Add the rest of k’nafe on top. May be frozen unbaked at this point.

Bake in a preheated oven at 375˚ for at least 1 hour or until bottom is done and top pinks. Make sheri’ye and pour cold over entire k’nafe.

SHERI’YE (Syrup)

Ingredients
• 3 cups sugar
• 1 cup water
• Juice of ½ lemon
• 2 teaspoons rose water

Directions
Boil sugar and water together for 15 minutes until thick. Squeeze in juice of less than ½ lemon and rose water. Let boil for 5 more minutes. Cool in jar in refrigerator

KA’AK EL BLOZ
Ingredients
• 1 lb. almond paste
• 3 drops rosewater
• 3 drops food coloring
• Pre-made icing flowers (these can be bought in a cake decorating store)

Directions
On medium speed of mixer, mix almond paste with rose water until smooth and pliable. Add choice of food coloring and mix until color is completely mixed in. Break into one inch balls and roll by hand to 4 inch long and ¼ inch thick. Note this can be done by machine with the ka’ack attachment to the Kitchenaid Mixer.

Place two strands together side by side. Attach one end. Then twist together the two strands. Attach the ends to make a bracelet. Cover with the icing flower.

Place each bracelet on a lined tray. Allow to dry, exposed for 3 to 4 days.

EL MASIYA (Corn Starch Pudding)
Ingredients
• 1½ cup corn starch
• 9 or 10 cups of water
• 1½ cups sugar
• 1 teaspoon orange or rose water
• Shelled pistachios

Directions
Dilute cornstarch with one glass of water. Pour mixture into 8 more glasses of water and bring to a boil, stirring constantly, add sugar and mix well. Lower flame and simmer 1½ hours until thick, stirring often. Add orange or rose water to taste. Pour into flat serving bowl with almonds. Sprinkle with ground pistachios. Serve cold.

A genealogist and historian, Sarina Roffé is the author of Branching Out from Sepharad (Sephardic Heritage Project, 2017), Sarina holds a BA in Journalism, and MA in Jewish Studies. She is a recognized academic expert in Sephardic history and foods and is a regular contributor to Image Magazine.

RABBI EZRA MAX

THE MISHNA IN ABOT STATES THAT THE FOUNDATION OF THE WORLD IS SUPPORTED AND BUILT UPON THE THREE PILLARS OF TORAH, ABODAH AND GEMILUT HASADIM (HESED). THE STUDY OF TORAH, G-D’S WORD AND THE BLUEPRINT OF THE WORLD, WHICH CAN ALSO BE ACCESSED BY STUDYING THE WONDERS OF G-D’S CREATIONS. ABODA IS TEFILLAH OR FOCUSED PRAYER. GEMILUT HASADIM IS BENEVOLENCE, LOVING KINDNESS, AND CHARITY. I BELIEVE IT’S CRITICAL THAT WE HAVE GOALS IN EACH OF THESE AREAS. HERE ARE PRACTICAL STRATEGIES.

TORAH

Regular study is important. For Torah learners, it could be in any of the various aspects of Torah (e.g. chumash, mishne, gemara, halacha, etc.). If Torah study is not part of your daily routine, you can still marvel at the wonders of nature and beauty in creation. Every day is an opportunity to see and acknowledge G-d’s will. The deeper we delve into this amazing universe and the wonders of creation, the more we can appreciate G-d’s gift to humanity and develop ourselves.

ABODAH

Your prayer or meditation goal could be reading chapter(s) of Psalms each day, attending a place of worship or regular prayer service, engaging in a practice of daily focused conversation with the Almighty, expressing gratitude, big and small or asking for success in something personal to you or another.

HESED

Hesed can include visiting the sick, rejoicing at wedding celebrations, and tending to funeral and burial needs. We don’t live in a vacuum. We live in a world filled with people, and the better we get at doing acts of kindness, the better the world will be. Hesed enriches our relationships. Charity is a form of hesed that goes beyond giving money, it can be sharing time, heart, or even mind. Charity is the stuff of kindness, such as smiling at someone, greeting them kindly, asking how they’re doing, and being interested. It could be adding value to someone’s life by making a connection and introducing them to another person.

MAIMONIDES, THE RAMBAM, SAYS THAT THE PURSUIT OF THESE THREE FOUNDATIONS ARE A PRESCRIPTION FOR COSMIC SUCCESS

Case Studies

A client was feeling sad and depressed, even a little disconnected from G-d. She committed to a micro-dose of daily conversation with the Almighty and small, consistent acts of kindness. Almost immediately, her life dramatically improved on many levels.

A finance related company was struggling with profitability. They committed to a 15 minute study session at the beginning of the day and hosted afternoon prayers in their offices. It didn’t take long for the business to improve.

Two partners were arguing about one of them coming late to work because he was studying in the morning. He responded, “Do you not like the increased revenue we had this past year? Actually, I am thinking about adding another hour of studying in the morning.”

A little study, insight, and personal reflection at the beginning and/or end of the day will make you a better person. Don’t skip praying when you’re in a hurry to a meeting, rather pray more intently for the success of the meeting. Remember, the more we help others, the more we will be helped. These are tried and true strategies.

You literally have the opportunity every single day to make the world a better place. Take a moment now and commit to S.M.A.R.T.E.R. daily goals with these three pillars.

Praying for your cosmic success.

S.M.A.R.T.E.R. stands for:
S: Specific
M: Measurable
A: Achievable
R: Realistic
T: Time Specific
E: Exciting
R: Reward.

Rabbi Ezra Max, PCC, MHMP, Xchange Guide & Creator of “The Max Method” assists businesses and professionals deal with stress and achieve success. Rabbi Max has witnessed 20 years of results helping executives, parents and teens overcome struggles, improve communication and thrive. He lives in New York with his wife and five children.

WITH AN INFLUX OF VERY YOUNG FAMILIES TO THE JERSEY SHORE, DSN PUT TOGETHER A SLEW OF EVENTS FOR MOTHERS AND THEIR INFANTS. THE RESPONSE WAS TREMENDOUS.

DSN is reflective of the community’s needs in real-time, so naturally, babies are in the mix! In December, multiple “New Moms Meetups” were offered. These are morning programs where babies arrive in the arms of their moms, who all then socialize and engage in exciting activities such as painting and yoga. Painting includes edible food-safe veggie paint where babies create their first works of art on canvases, mess free! During yoga, babies crawl off and on the mats, while moms endure a relaxing mind/body workout.

First-time mother Jacqueline Cohen Ades was thrilled. “DSN’s Mommy Meetups are a great way to meet other new moms in the community, as well as sharing advice and challenges about raising our children.”

These events include lunch, along with fun games, such as Baby Trivia, where multiple-choice questions are posed, such as “How many bones do newborns have at birth?” and “What percentage of babies are born on their actual due date?” DSN, known for its epic prize-giving, awarded Target gift cards and diapers to very excited winners. Healthy lunches were provided by Nicole’s Kitchen, while DSN served baby packets and snacks for the kids. For those interested, a baby is born with about 300 bones and only 5% of babies are born on their due date.

New mom Nancy Beyda was delighted, stating, “It’s so fun to get together at DSN with other moms and their babies and enjoy a new activity together. I love it!”

In January, DSN enthusiast and mother Raquel Laniado put together a “Raq and Roll Baby Music” for a 5 session program. Each week, a special theme drew the attention of mother and baby alike. On Animal Day, the stories and songs reflected some of our favorite animals of the wild. On Pajama Day the babies came dressed in their colorful pajamas. DSN supplied brand new mats, toys, drums, and other equipment to provide the little ones with the best experience possible.

Raquel explained, “DSN is a wonderful place that families can trust with their precious babies. The tot rooms are perfect for intimate classes that are clean and heavily sanitized for moms to feel comfortable and for babies to have the best time!” She concludes her classes with lotion and a baby massage for each little one, so that they can go home and drift peacefully into a nice, long nap. How perfect!

Caleigh Silvera, DSN’s Adult Program Director, stated, “As a mother myself, I see the huge benefits these programs have on both a mother and child. Watching babies explore the world at DSN and seeing mothers leave as friends is incredibly rewarding. It is nice to find a community within a community where people at a similar stage in life can meet and share accomplishments in child-raising.”

DSN’s Executive Director Sammy Sitt concluded, “It’s super exciting when we are able to cater to a new group within our growing community. It’s clear that the number of young mothers with infants is on the rise. This new programming is critical to bringing them together where they can meet and socialize. Plus, the infants are benefiting cognitively and emotionally from all the engaging activities. From infants all the way up to our seniors, DSN will keep life exciting for the greatest community!”

MEMORIES OF A JOURNEY PURSUED WHILE LIVING WITHIN A TIGHT-KNIT COMMUNITY

FREDDY ZALTA

WHEN I WAS EIGHT YEARS OLD MY FAMILY MOVED FROM EAST 14TH BETWEEN KINGS HIGHWAY AND AVENUE R TO AN UPSTAIRS APARTMENT ON EAST 2ND STREET BETWEEN KINGS HIGHWAY AND AVENUE S. WE HAD MOVED FROM AN APARTMENT BUILDING AND I REMEMBER BEING NERVOUS ABOUT THE MOVE. I WAS EIGHT YEARS OLD AND ALREADY NEUROTIC. SOON, THOUGH, IT WAS CLEAR TO ME THAT IT WAS A GREAT MOVE FOR THE FAMILY.

I used to spend days playing stoop ball in front of my house, wiffle ball with my brother on the side of it, and we were down the block from the PS 215 schoolyard. I would spend the bulk of my time, from age 10 until I was 18 or so, playing softball, stick-ball or football.

A year or so after we moved, my father joined my uncle in the travel business. At first, it was located on Avenue S (where the Sephardic Center stands today; there was a building with stores on the ground level). Then they moved to Avenue U, just off of McDonald Avenue. Finally they settled on Kings Highway, between East 2nd and East 3rd Streets. This was in 1976, when I was 10 years old. The store and the original sign would be there for the next 45 years. (It’s still there though obscured by a “For Rent” sign).

I used to love to go to work with my parents when I was young. My parents taught me about the business, such as how to write airline tickets, answer the phones and even how to do the weekly sales reports to be submitted to the airlines reporting corporation.

My mother was one of the trailblazers for women in the Syrian community. She not only ran a household with five children; she worked all day at the travel agency. When my father announced that they would be adding an airline computer system, she went to Dallas for a week to learn how to use the system. This was in 1981 or so, way before most of the world even knew what a computer was. Once computers were installed in the office, for me, it was love at first sight.

Since the store was around the corner from our apartment I would hang out there a lot, especially when my friends would meet me there and then we would go have lunch by Lou’s next door.

Much like myself, my father was unable to sit still for too long, so he used to walk from store to store saying hello to everyone. He never came back to the store empty handed. He had such a friendly face and demeanor that everyone took to him right away.

This is a sampling of when I would go for a walk with him. The stores are out of time and placement; but this is how I remember it. He would say, “Freddy, lets go for a walk.”

So I would hold his hand leaving the store and then we would cross the street. The first stop was usually Ralph’s Fruit Store. He would talk to the husband and wife running the place and then see something he felt my mother would like and buy it for her. “Hold this for Momma.” He would tell me.

Then we would head next door to Setton’s. Morris Setton was the boss there and he always would tell my father when the pita or zaatar bread would come in fresh. In the back of the store a lady named, Rachel, was the baker. She would be leading a group of women in preparing the various foods they would sell. The aroma of the pastries being baked was intoxicating and to this day when I remember it, my mouth waters. Whenever she would see me or my father, Rachel would come running from the back of the store with something straight out of the oven on a paper towel for us to try. Zaki, was the manager of the store and possibly one of the friendliest people I ever knew. He would always be smiling while doing whatever needed to be done in the store.

We would then stop by Sol’s Hardware to say hello. Sol was an older man and would ride his bike to work each day. Later on his son, Howie, took over the store and updated it. (Its still there today, owned and run by a gentleman named, Manny).

My pop would hold my hand as we walked next door to Mansoura’s Bakery. Mansoura’s had opened their first location around the year 1780 in Syria. They moved to Egypt and then to France before settling in Brooklyn. They proudly used the same recipes which had been handed down from generation to generation. Mr. Mansour would always greet my father with a big hello and a smile. Mrs. Mansour would tell me, “Come, come here.” I would go and she would have a fresh batch of grebe or baklava. Everything—I mean everything—in that store was delicious.

We would walk out with more goodies in a bag and would head to Adelaide’s. He would open the door and say (if they wanted coffee), “Just come across and take, t’fudul! It’s fresh!” They would come by and always be so sweet and gracious. Adelaide Picciotto was the owner, she commanded respect with just her presence and she got it. What a wonderful lady. She was also one of the first women to go into business in the community. Next door my father would repeat himself at “June’s Collection.” June was a sweet lady who was another pioneer in the community. Later on, after the photography store closed, Marion Shabot opened a women’s clothing store which was there for over 20 years. She was another trailblazer for women in the community.

Then we would walk over to the corner store; Nat’s Luncheonette. They would say some words about the area, the weather and whatever else was going on and laugh. Nat’s wife would have her hair done up and smile. Tragically, in August of 1977, their daughter, Stacy was killed by David Berkowitz, a serial killer.

We would cross the street and go to Bat-Yam, where Mr. Levy always had a joke to tell. He was cute because before he told the joke, he would be laughing. Elie, his son, towered behind the register and Mrs. Levy ran the kitchen. She too would offer some sort of food to try.

Across the street was Carvel. A silver walled store with an overhanging roof, and an L-shaped parking lot. My father would give me money to buy ice cream, “for Momma,” he would say with a twinkle in his eye. On Wednesdays we would get the two for one special, so he could get one as well and I would get a lalapalooza or a chocolate milkshake.

Crossing back towards the store, we would pass Metropolitan Life Insurance and then drop off the ice cream by my mom and head next door to say hello to Kalman and Smadar, at Elite Photography. The place was a mess but Smadar would make the place shine regardless.

Next was Lou’s Deli. I wanted to get a hot dog but I knew that if I had the hot dog I wouldn’t be able to eat my ice cream, so I would put it off until later. I loved going into Lou’s. Buddy the waiter would always greet me as if I were an important person. Lou would make a joke about something and Ruthy would smile and say, “Don’t listen.” This store would become such a big part of my life and until this day, I find it amazing that one establishment can have such a strong lasting effect.

Next door to Lou’s was Decorative Dinette. One of my heroes in my older years would be carrying a queen size mattress from his station wagon into the store. He was a tall man who would call my father, “Hacham.” Later on I would get to know him and his family very well. A survivor from the camps he never lost faith in G-d, even when his wife developed a debilitating sickness. He would take care of her with so much love.

Then we would head back to the store and have our ice cream. Oh, I loved that chocolate milkshake! I would have them add chocolate crunch to it, so when I finished the shake, at the bottom that chocolate crunch would be waiting for me.

I walked on Kings Highway the other day and it was filled with strangers working in the stores. Most had changed, some had stayed the same business. Metropolitan Life is now The Well, an educational center for Sephardic women. Elite Photographer is now Swoon, a women’s boutique shop (one of three on that street), Lou’s is now Juice Theory a vegan restaurant, Decorative Dinette is Vanilla Sky a second clothing store, and on the corner of the block is a third clothing store, Mylo on Second,

Across the way, Ralph’s Fruits remains, Setton’s was sold and is now Chalouh International Food, Sol’s Hardware remains, Mansoura still continues its centuries old business run by Mr Mansour’s grandchildren.

Because I was part of the business, I never realized the impact our business had. Whiz Travel had a major impact on the community. My father started sending people to Acapulco by offering their money back if they didn’t have the best time. It started with one family and by the early 1980s we had hundreds of people traveling there during the schools’ intersession. I remember going to Acapulco after we graduated from Sephardic High School. On the plane I would see almost everyone carrying a “Whiz Travel” bag. In Acapulco, itself, the place was swarming with community members from Brooklyn, Deal, Mexico and other places. We were all related one way or another and developed quick friendships. I remember I was supposed to be there for one week but ended up staying for two weeks. I remember feeling a sense of pride each time I saw someone my parents had booked to go there—they would always say, “Your parents are the best, I got my room upgraded for free.” Or something to that effect.

What a world it was. I can still feel my father’s hand in mine as we made our way around the highway. I have inherited from him his love of people and his integrity.

My father passed away almost seven years ago. Whiz Travel, though still going strong, has moved out of 518 Kings Highway. More recently, Morris Setton, of Setton’s and Ruth and Lou Jerome, of Lou’s Deli, have passed away. As I get older it’s only logical that I will lose people I have known for most of my life—it doesn’t mean I have to like it. It certainly doesn’t mean I have to forget the life we all shared. We were a community of two blocks. We were all there for each other and even the competitors would be there for each other.

In the spot where Carvel once stood, is a building built to house the senior citizens. My mother lives there and when I go to visit her she always has that beautiful smile. I walk to visit her, and when I leave and step onto Kings Highway I can always sense the ghosts roaming the sidewalks, running their businesses. It’s how I think, like I said before, I have issues.

I can sense the old neighborhood alive and busy, as it always is. The aroma of baking in the streets, my father’s voice booming across the highway calling Zaki. Lou sweeping the sidewalk, Sam carrying a queen sized mattress on his shoulder, customers and friends who used to frequent my side of Kings Highway who have passed on. They are still here, I can see them, hear them, and sense them. A community of people who cared for each other and treated their customers like family members.

I learned much more than how to work as a travel agent or how to use computers. What I learned was how to treat customers and people in general, with respect. There was never a time when my parents were disrespectful to anyone; a customer or someone selling something. My father never let his smile leave his face unless someone really upset him. I always remember, if someone was causing a scene with my father, my mother would stand up and stand next to him.

Later on, I worked with my brothers and my parents in Whiz Travel. We were a great team. We worked hard, had arguments, laughed uncontrollably at times and always had each other’s backs.

I think back and I remember wanting to leave that area, I wanted to get more out of life than just working in a travel agency. I wanted more and more only to realize as I got older, I really needed less and less in life. No one who has passed away ever took their belongings with them. What they do take are the lessons they have learned in life. No death—and no one—can ever take away the memories of a life lived.

These days, I am trying to make a living by telling people to work with me to keep the memories of the lives lived alive forever. This way everyone can learn from what others have learned. A life’s lessons should be passed down, just as family recipes are passed down from generation to generation. A recipe of sorts or an answer to the questions about life, humans have been searching for—forever. When the answer can be found in a four letter word−Love.

USING POLITICAL INFLUENCE TO BENEFIT KLAL ISRAEL

SARINA ROFFÉ

FROM THE TIME HE WAS A CHILD IN EGYPT WHERE HE WAS JAILED AS A TEEN, TO HIS BUSINESS SUCCESS AND NOW RETIREMENT IN FLORIDA, CLEMENT SOFFER HAS VOLUNTEERED IN WAYS THAT HAVE A LONG AND LASTING IMPACT ON KLAL ISRAEL AND THE JEWISH PEOPLE.

Clem’s contributions include saving cemeteries in several countries, building synagogues and helping with the rescue of Syrian Jews in the early 1990s. The harshness of his childhood in Egypt is the inspiration for his lifetime commitment to saving our communities.

In 1956, when Clem was just 15, President Nasser had taken over and was imposing terrorism on the Jewish communities. Egypt’s Jewish population was crumbling. “It was 3,000 years in the making of one of the oldest Jewish communities on the planet, a very wealthy community, and I had a front row seat to comprehend the scope of it.”

In October 1956 a war broke out between Israel and Egypt, the Rabbinate was swamped with Jews wanting to escape and leave Egypt due to Nasser terrorizing the Jewish community. Nasser imprisoned 20,000 Jews in camps similar to concentration camps and took their wealth and property. The Rabbinate was responsible for, the government recognized, issuing official birth, marriages and death certificates. Egypt used this documentation to issue exit visas needed for Jews to depart.

Working with Rabbi Abraham Choueka zt’l, Clem and a team hurriedly began preparing documents for all the Jews to leave.

“My daily assignment for six months was to create certificates for them and obtain visas to any country willing to take Jews. I prepared their documentation, at the government office, for them to exit the country and then I booked travel tickets paid for by the Rabbinate. They would leave by a ship from Alexandria and I’d make sure they exited.”

“In 1957, when I was 16, I was arrested by the secret police and accused of being a spy for Israel. I was tortured for eight hours by policemen trained by Nazi SS officers who were in Egypt and hired by President Nasser. They demanded I sign a document saying that I was a spy from Israel, and I was sending Egyptian Jews to Israel who would come back and fight Egypt.

“I knew if I signed that document I would hang in a public square and G-d knows what would happen to my family. I refused to sign, and was saved by the Swiss Red Cross. I had to renounce my Egyptian nationality and was expelled immediately with a few dollars in my pocket and a blank document to travel stamped in red “dangerous for the public security.” I was 16 and I believe Hashem saved me to do many great mitzvot for the rest of my life.”

With a recommendation from Rabbi Abraham Kalmanowitz A”H, Clem was able to get a student visa with the help of Senator Jacob Javits and studied at Mirrer Yeshiva in Brooklyn. His family was forced to stay back. A few years later, he sponsored them to come to the United States.

By the age of 20, he was the founder and a board member of Ahava Ve Ahva Congregation, the first Egyptian Jewish Synagogue in Brooklyn, on Ocean Parkway and Avenue R.

Always active in Jewish causes, Clement was Vice President of the International Sephardic Education Foundation from 1983 to 2000.

Years later, when it came to hearing about the suffering of Syrian Jews, Clement did not have to be asked to join the massive effort to help free them from the tyranny of President Hafez El Assad.

“It reignited the deep wounds of my youth and the suffering incurred because I feared that those 4,500 Jews remaining in Syria would be massacred.”

From 1990 to 1994, he was Executive VP of the Council for the Rescue of Syrian Jews and played a very prominent part in the 1992 airlift and rescue of the 4,500 Jews remaining in Syria.

Months later, the Oslo agreement became an issue. Clement and a group of leaders met with Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin to stop the accords from being signed. They were unsuccessful.

In 1993, he received a Congressional Award for championing international human rights issues which was entered into the Congressional Record. He received many congratulatory letters including those from Governor Mario Cuomo, Senators Joseph Lieberman, Charles Schumer, Bob Kestin, Daniel Inoue, and Frank Lautenberg.

SAVING CEMETERIES IN EGYPT

The issue of cemeteries and how they had been destroyed and desecrated over the years in many countries where the Jewish communities have declined was brought to Clem’s attention.

In 1989, he became a board member of Asra Kadisha, an international organization in Monsey, NY dedicated to protecting Jewish cemeteries from destruction. He was instrumental in saving Jewish cemeteries in Ukraine, Portugal, India, Egypt, Germany, and Belarus. But the Egyptian cemeteries were his most passionate project.

In 1989, Clement was made aware of the desecration of the El Bassantine Cemetery in Cairo, where he was born. The cemetery once stood 50 miles outside of Cairo but with sprawl, was now in the center of the city on valuable land. The government was planning to demolish it and build a road through it. What to do?

Just weeks before, Clem attended a fundraiser for Congressman Bob Mrazek, his Long Island representative. Clem called Congressman Steven Solarz, chair of the Foreign Relations Committee and together they met with Egyptian authorities. Egypt wanted $100 million to reroute the road.

Devastated, he went with Solarz on the congressional interbuilding subway. Coincidentally Congressman Mrazek was in the same car! Together they lobbied the House Appropriations Committee to hold up the $2.3 billion in aid to Egypt unless the cemetery was saved. Still the move had to be approved by the Senate Appropriations Committee.

Coincidentally, during services the next Shabbat, he sat next to Edmond Safra A”H in the Fifth Avenue Synagogue. He explained the situation to Mr. Safra, who invited him to a reception for the International Monetary Fund in Washington, DC. While there, Safra introduced him to Senator Frank Lautenberg (NJ) who sat on the Senate Appropriations Committee. He met with the Senator and obtained the needed committee approval.

The Egyptians were informed that $2.3 billion in funding would no longer be received unless the cemetery was saved. They agreed to build a bridge over the cemetery and evict 5,000 squatters living on the graves.

Believe it or not, that was just the beginning. Cemetery slabs had been stolen. Walls had to be built. Garbage had to be cleaned up. The enormous cost was borne by Mr. Safra and Nessim Gaon, of Geneva A’H.

“In 1989, I hired Dan Bahat, an archeologist from Israel, to analyze this cemetery and learn the topography before I restored it, so I did not cause any damage. El Bassatine cemetery is built on 10 tiers of level burials, so what you see up top is not all the cemetery. I was shocked by this discovery. Jews do not bury one on top of the other but in Egypt, at Bassatine they did, totally unbeknown to them.”

Asra Kadisha oversaw the restoration of the cemetery in 1992. “I gave the keys to the cemetery to Carmen Weinstein, then the president of the Jewish community in Cairo. I delivered a perfect cemetery to her. She was under protection. Eight years later, she died,” said Clem.

FAST FORWARD 20 YEARS

Clem saw a video of the cemetery and was shocked at its condition in 2019. The El Bassantine Cemetery was destroyed again. Hidden sewage pipes were draining onto the graves, there were mountains of garbage and the fences had been breached. Clem raised hundreds of thousands of dollars to build a secure wall, remove the garbage and get the sewer pipes moved. He was determined to save the cemetery again.

There were mausoleums with names on them of known rabbis, including Rabbi Yehudah Maslaton, brother of Rabbi Mordechai Maslaton A”H, of Ahi Ezer, who died in Egypt in about 1934. They found the mausoleum of Chief Rabbi Haim Nahum Effendi zt’l.

Clem raised substantial funding for the restoration from the members of Ahava Ve Ahva with thanks to the assistance of their executive committee. Clem hired 40 workers, rented bulldozers and forklifts, as the project was supervised by rabbis from Asra Kadisha. The project is still ongoing.

At the same time, a Jewish cemetery in nearby Fostat was found in the same poor condition. Walls and gates were erected there as well.

Both cemeteries are from the 6 and 7th centuries. Fostat was used during Maimonides’ time in the 12th and 13th century.

MORE CEMETERIES SAVED

Drawing on his experience with Egypt, Clem soon understood the value of political influence. In 1989, a Jewish cemetery in Cochin, India had been sold to the local maharaja, who was going to build apartments on top of it. He went to see Frank Wisner, the American Ambassador to India. They called Ephraim Dubeck, an Egyptian Jew who was Israel’s ambassador to India. By pure chance, he happened to be in India, and he presented the case to the Prime Minister. Upon further investigation, the sale of the cemetery was illegal, and the government returned it back to the community.

Similarly in Faro, Portugal, the government was going to build a soccer stadium right next to the Jewish cemetery, which has 107 graves dating from 1838 to 1932. Faro is the capital of the Algarve region in southern Portugal. The city was home to a large Jewish community until 1497, although a number of Jews continued to live there as conversos. In the fifteenth century, the time of its peak, Faro was a well-known center of Hebrew printing. In 1481, Samuel Porteira printed the first book in the history of Portugal: an edition of the Pentateuch in Hebrew.

The builders didn’t have enough rest rooms for the stadium, so they were going to put portable rest rooms on top of the graves in the cemetery when there was a game and the stadium was in use. Horrified at this, Clem took action. As it turned out, Portugal was getting $110 million a year from the US in military aid. Clem went to his contacts in the Senate and House Appropriations committees and claimed this was a human rights violation under the AID agreement. President Suarez was notified. He immediately notified the stadium, put walls around the cemetery and made it a historic landmark.

In Madeira, Portugal, a 13th Century Jewish cemetery was eroding due to waves and some graves fell into the water due to erosion. In a feat of engineering, Asra Kadisha was able to cement the entire hillside so it will not erode.

And then there was Ukraine, which was getting $650 million from the US to dismantle the Russian nuclear fleet in Vladivostok. Cemeteries in Ukraine are run by the town mayors, many of whom allowed flea markets to operate on the cemetery grounds each week from Thursdays to Sundays. Many of these cemeteries have famous rabbis buried in them.

Rabbi Nachman of Breslov was buried in Uman, Ukraine for over 300 years. He was the founder of the Breslov Hasidic movement and a great-grandson of the Baal Shem Tov. The rabbi had a premonition that Jews would be killed by the thousands in Uman, so he remained there to pray for them. He said if people prayed by his grave, that he had the power to pull people out of hell, the only rabbi to make this claim. Centuries later, Hitler killed more than 2,000 Jews in Uman. The land the rabbi is buried on was owned by a local farmer. He was offered $5 million to sell the land and the grave to Hassidim and he refused.

Today, more than 30,000 Jews come from all over the world to pray tehillim at the rabbi’s grave each year between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur.

Hearing about how these cemeteries were being used, Clem went to the Appropriations Committee, and they agreed it was a human rights violation. This endangered the $650 million the Ukraine was getting each year. The Appropriations Committee went to Ukraine President Leonid Kuchma and he made a law that cleared out the flea markets from 1500 cemeteries and all the land was returned to the Jewish people, including the plot of Rabbi Nachman. And including the Rabbi’s cemetery plot the farmer thought he owned!

In all of these cases, Clem used his contacts, and the law to influence governments to be respectful of Jewish cemeteries. He was able to get many cemeteries returned to the communities, and or restored.

SYNAGOGUE INVOLVEMENT

When living in Brooklyn he was active in Ahava ve Ahva and helped raise funds for the building on Ocean Parkway, near Mirrer Yeshiva.

A husband, father and grandfather, Clem made a life for his growing family in Long Island, where he helped develop the Commack Jewish Center and later the Chabad of Sands Point. After his children were grown, he moved to Manhattan where he attended the Fifth Avenue Synagogue and became friendly with Edmond Safra.

After retiring to Florida, he helped the Aventura community build the Bet Edmond Jacob Safra Synagogue in honor of his good friend.

“We were praying in a room in the North Tower from November to April. Most people didn’t think there were enough people for a year-round synagogue. David Braka bought the land and Edmond donated funds to begin the building. I was in Turnberry year-round, so I oversaw the construction,” he said. “I was able to raise money from Mexican, Venezuelan, and Columbian families that were all connected to the New York families and 100 years later they were reunited in Florida. I was also able to identify people to make it a year-round synagogue.”

1992 SYRIAN AIRLIFT

The Committee to Rescue Syrian Jews, the work and the airlift is a story of its own. Clem’s involvement as a vice president on the committee was critical, as was the work of Alice Sardell (president), Marcos Zalta and Jack Mann (vice presidents). The political influence from around the world was significant. Funding was blocked to Syria from multiple sources.

After four years of tough negotiations, Assad finally granted permission for the Syrian Jews to leave; but there were conditions. It had to be a round-trip ticket to show the intent that they would return.

While the tickets themselves were paid for by a private donation, there was the need for funding the resettlement itself. Mr Safra was instrumental in helping us get the resettlement funds from the UJA Federation. Suddenly, Joe Beyda of Sephardic Bikur Holim got a call that they had $26 million for the resettlement of the Syrian Jews. The funds were used for resettlement, rent, doctors etc.

“It was all about having the right influence,” said Clem. “We had to use political maneuvering to achieve our goal.”

PERSONALLY

Clem speaks French, Arabic, and English fluently and is conversant in Spanish, Hebrew and Greek. One of the founders of JouJou Jeans, he opened the following boutiques: 34th Street Bootery, Le Zoo Boutiques, and Topaz Boutiques. He closed the businesses in 1997 and is now retired and living in Florida, where he sells real estate part time.

A genealogist and historian, Sarina Roffé is the author of Branching Out from Sepharad (Sephardic Heritage Project, 2017), Sarina holds a BA in Journalism, and MA in Jewish Studies.

3 STEPS TO YOUR DREAM EXIT WITHOUT COMPROMISING YOUR LIFE’S WORK

ARI BAUM, CFP®

YOU’VE GOT THAT LITTLE VOICE IN THE BACK OF YOUR MIND TELLING YOU IT’S TIME FOR THE NEXT ADVENTURE. YOU’VE PUT IN THOUSANDS UPON THOUSANDS OF HOURS OF YOUR BLOOD, SWEAT, AND TEARS TO BUILD YOUR BUSINESS INTO SOMETHING INCREDIBLE. YOU’VE CAREFULLY CRAFTED YOUR BUSINESS INTO WHAT YOU WANTED IT TO BE. IT’S BEEN LIKE RAISING A CHILD. YEARS LATER, YOU’RE PROUD OF IT BECAUSE YOU’VE “RAISED” IT RIGHT.

But there’s one big problem. You’re wondering, what’s next? Although you might be experiencing mixed emotions about moving on, breaking free of your work is starting to sound more and more enticing. All the trips you haven’t been able to take, and the family time sacrificed to the business are beginning to weigh on you.

Of course, you’ve got concerns about leaving your life’s work behind. Can you make sure that the values you’ve worked so hard to instill don’t get lost in the transition? What about your employees and your clients? While you want to make sure that they’re taken care of, at the same time, you can’t cut yourself loose with nothing to show for it. You expect your business to fund your future.

Just as you planned meticulously for a variety of situations as you built your business, you need to approach your exit in a methodical way. Although it sounds easy, it seems to be stressful, and even painful, for many business owners. In a recent survey, only about one-third of family-owned businesses had a succession plan in place. Whether you’re selling to family or not, you need a plan of action to ensure that you make the right decisions and have thought through the consequences.

You may have already been thinking about how to make the transition. Or maybe recent events have changed your perspective on how much time you want to spend on your work. Either way, you’re looking for a win-win strategy that balances your need for financial freedom and your company’s need for new growth and stability.

If you’re dreaming about passing your enterprise on to others and enjoying a new life outside your business, read on.

As a successful business owner contemplating your ideal exit, you’re likely asking yourself questions such as:

How much is my business worth?

How do I ensure that my clients and staff will be taken care of?

Am I aware of all the options available to me when it comes to profiting from my business?

What are the consequences, financial and otherwise, of my choices?

Who do I trust to help me plan my exit?

Following are some strategies to consider.

STEP 1: DEFINE YOUR DREAM EXIT

While there are plenty of resources that provide an overview on business succession planning in general, it’s not as easy to find information that applies specifically to you and your needs, as well as your firm’s requirements. When it comes to the ideal exit, there’s no such thing as “one size fits all.”

When you were building your company, you probably didn’t just throw tactics at the market to see what worked! If you had, you wouldn’t have been so successful. Instead, you first determined what it was that you wanted to achieve. Then you put together a blueprint to put all the pieces in place, along with a timeline for each phase.

In the beginning, your main goal may have just been to bring in enough income to stay afloat. As your business began to grow, your blueprint changed. You’re now at the point where it needs to change again. Your first step is to decide what that new goal is.

You probably want your existing customers to be well taken care of, whatever that means to you. In addition, you would probably like to reward the workers who have been by your side during the difficult times and to keep everyone employed.

Of course, you need to make sure that you and your family are financially taken care of. Maybe you’d like to take some profit off the top in order to pay off debt or put kids through college. On the other hand, maybe you’re finished working and want to spend all your time with friends, family, and hobbies you enjoy.

The way you grew your company was specific to your own values and how you wanted your company to thrive. Now, it’s time for the business to recede into the background, but your strategy still must be customized to your own values and vision.

STEP 2: CHOOSE THE RIGHT ESCAPE HATCH

Now that you’ve determined your goals, you can plan your strategy. Your plan must accommodate more than “just” the financials. Maybe you have friends or family who have been through a similar transition. However, that doesn’t mean their arrangement will work for you.

You may know someone who passed their business on to their children. If your kids aren’t willing and able to take over your company, that’s not an option for you. Even if you really wish it were.

Fortunately, you have other options. You might have a second-in-command that is poised to take over. Maybe you’re considering selling to your employees or you’re willing to find a third-party buyer instead.

Consider how your exit fits into your personal financial plan. If your future rests on your income until you stop working at a certain age, how will you manage if you stop working now? Is there enough value in the company to support your lifestyle?

Another aspect of your strategy to consider is how much of an exit you’re planning. Will you completely close the door behind you? Or would you prefer to leave the door open, which permits you to take out some equity and potentially reduce your responsibilities?

As you probably expect, different approaches result in different tax consequences. Selling a firm means selling all its assets, not just one business entity. Some company components enjoy capital gains treatment upon sale, while others are taxed as ordinary income. Depending on how the deal is structured, you may enjoy greater tax savings with one strategy over another.

Relationships are a factor that often complicates planning. Are there dynamics within the family that must be considered? Even if you’re the only one involved in the company, your exit could still stir up some emotions.

STEP 3: DETERMINE WHEN TO POP THE HATCH

It takes some time to do the prep work before you break out of your business, even before you start looking for a buyer or engage in serious conversations. On the other hand, you want to be ready to exit on a (financially) high note.

Developing your strategy and timeline now is critical. Having everything in place makes it more likely that you’ll be able to take advantage of a favorable market. If you own a seasonal business, you probably don’t want to search for a buyer in the offseason when profits are low or nonexistent. Bear in mind that the actual sale of the company (not including all of your prepping) often takes almost a year.

Another advantage to solidifying your approach early is to avoid giving your competitors an advantage. Otherwise, they may swoop in and take clients and/or staff while you’re still figuring out your tactics.

Your time frame should match your strategy as well. Want to take off in the next couple of years? Avoid strategies that will take you five years to implement.

ENVISION AND EXECUTE YOUR EXIT

As a successful business owner, you put key elements in place in a timely fashion so you could leverage any opportunities you found along the way. When it comes to your business, this may be your last campaign. Treat it with the same thoughtfulness you brought to growing your company.

The good news is, it’s entirely possible to retire, partially or fully, from your business and leave it in good hands. At the same time, the value from what you built can provide you with the financial freedom you deserve. No dream exit is the result of sheer luck.

Making the right choices could result in the smooth transition you’re looking for. Not only does your ideal exit positively affect your finances, but your firm and your family relationships, too. That’s why it’s so critical to understand all the possible outcomes of your options.

The sooner you develop your strategy, the better. Once you have it in place, you can take advantage of opportunities that come your way. Otherwise, you’re at risk of losing out because you weren’t prepared.

You’ve already made the wise decision to read through this information. The next step is to contact a financial professional to set up a Business Escape Planning Session.

This material is for information purposes only. The content is developed from sources believed to be reliable; no warranty, expressed or implied, is made regarding accuracy, adequacy, or completeness. Consult your financial professional before making any investment decision. This information is not intended to be a substitute for specific individualized tax advice. Discuss your specific tax issues with a qualified tax professional.

Ari Baum, CFP® is the founder and CEO of Endurance Wealth Partners, with over a quarter of a century of experience in the Financial Services industry. He brings his in-depth experience to Conceive. Believe. Achieve. for his clients.

Brokerage and Advisory accounts carried by Wells Fargo Clearing Services, LLC. Securities and Advisory services offered through Prospera Financial Services Inc. Member FINRA/SIPC.

BUILDING FOR THE FUTURE OF OUR COMMUNITY

CONGREGATION MAGEN DAVID OF MADISON IS LOCATED ON THE CORNER OF EAST 24TH STREET AND AVENUE P IN BROOKLYN. THE SHUL WAS FOUNDED BY SEVERAL COMMUNITY MEMBERS IN THE BEDFORD AVENUE AREA TO FORM A MINYAN IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE CUSTOMS OF ARAM SOBA AND THE RICH HERITAGE OF OUR FOREFATHERS.

The Synagogue actually began in the home of Elliot and Lily Betesh, where they would host a regular minyan every Shabbat for Friday night prayers. That took place for a few years and eventually the minyan became very well attended.

In 2020, as many shuls needed to hold prayers outdoors for a while, the minyan was transformed into a covered outdoor driveway minyan, where prayers took place on Shabbat and even on the High Holidays.

The minyan then gained further traction when a few founding members, notably Elliot Betesh, Isaac Hamui, Joey Shabot, Morris Betesh, Marc Schmool, Elliot Bar David and Adam Shrem as well as many others, found a permanent location.

They selected a location inside the existing shul of Amri Zvi under Rabbi Shinerman and hired a wonderful hazan who prays in the classic maqqamot of the week. There, the chanting of beautiful tunes can be heard every Shabbat morning coming through the open doorway. This is in accordance with the parashah of the week.

At Congregation Magen David everyone contributes in various ways, doing his part—from synagogue administration, to taking care of the breakfasts, to selecting the Torah aliyot schedule. It feels like a shul from the early days of the community, complete with breakfast and candy for the kids.

The Synagogue just had its first Sefer Torah generously dedicated by the Garda family, and looks forward to welcoming all those in Brooklyn to come and enjoy the prayers and simchas as Congregation Magen David of Madison grows with the help of Hashem.

Congregation Magen David of Madison is located at 2402 Avenue P. Please join us. Everyone is welcome. We would love to see you at a Shabbat service soon.

It’s a very nice group of families who interact with camaraderie and joy. The Synagogue looks forward to building for the future of our wonderful community for many years to come, BH.

RESPONDING TO THE INCREASING NEED FOR HIGH QUALITY MENTAL HEALTH CARE, THE SEPHARDIC INITIATIVE FOR MENTAL HEALTH AWARENESS, ALSO KNOWN AS SIMHA, WILL BE OPENING ITS DOORS IN MARCH TO PROVIDE THE SEPHARDIC COMMUNITY WITH A WIDE RANGE OF SERVICES AND PROGRAMMING.

Like any other demographic, our community is not immune to the ongoing mental health crisis which has been significantly exacerbated by COVID. Anxiety, depression, OCD, eating and bipolar disorders, addiction and other issues have been on the rise everywhere, their prevalence far outpacing existing resources. Rabbis, teachers, mentors, kallah teachers and others in the Sephardic community often brought their concerns to Rabbi David Sutton, who understood that these sensitive matters needed to be better addressed by those on the front lines, most of whom had little if any training in the mental health arena.

Hoping to become part of the solution to the alarming trend, Rabbi Sutton began participating in a clinical pastoral education program at Harvard Medical School’s McClean Hospital, training under Dr. David H. Rosmarin, an associate professor at Harvard Medical School and founder of Center for Anxiety.

“It was clear that something had to be done to provide those needing help with access to the most professional people in the field,” said Rabbi Sutton.

Collaborating closely with rabbis and community leaders, Rabbi Sutton, Mark Adjmi and Nathan Hoffman co-founded SIMHA, a boutique organization with a goal of providing a full continuum of care and specialized attention to those struggling with problems large and small. SIMHA’s focus on education and awareness will also help identify problems in their early stages and eradicate stigmas that prevent people from seeking much-needed help.

Dr. David Katzenstein will be serving as SIMHA’s chief clinical officer. The former director of clinical care at Premium Health Center, Dr. Katzenstein also served as the clinical supervisor at Maimonides Medical Center’s Child and Adolescent Department of Psychology, and his writings, research and presentations have made him a well-known figure in the global mental health community.

“When people become educated and aware, they need a place to turn when issues arise and SIMHA is here to be the address for anyone dealing with a mental health issue, providing a robust help line, assessments, referrals and full coordination of care,” explained Dr. Katzenstein.

SIMHA will be partnering with Relief Resources, a mental health referral service that has made over 120,000 referrals to date, and will be tapping into its extensive referral system to provide clients with access to more than 8,000 clinicians that best suit their needs. SIMHA will also be working with multiple community organizations including Hatzalah, OHEL, Sephardic Bikur Holim and The Safe Foundation.

SIMHA’s trained clinical coordinators will draw on their years of expertise as licensed mental health professionals to identify patient needs and the best course of treatment for each one. In addition to providing multi-faceted client care and supplementary support to their family members, SIMHA will also be focusing on spreading a greater understanding of mental health issues through a variety of educational initiatives. It has already hosted three different lecture series for community rabbis and teachers featuring experts in the field, with Dr. Akiva Perlman, Dr. Zev Brown and Dov Finkelstein, LCSW addressing the topics of anxiety and OCD, behavioral addictions, and relationship conflict. Also underway are professional development days in all community schools, a mental health curriculum for students and special classes for parents.

Mental health issues are sometimes swept under the rug because people don’t know where to go for services and are afraid of being stigmatized, noted Mr. Adjmi, SIMHA’s president. “Our community has the resources needed to support people facing mental health challenges and to give them the help they need,” said Mr. Adjmi. “The time has come for us to address this issue as a community.”

Adding an extra dimension to SIMHA’s services will be a network of trained certified peer specialists, who have faced their own mental health issues and will be available to speak about their own growth and share experiences.

“Listening without judging is extremely important,” noted board member Isaac Tawil.

“The Wayz Foundation will become SIMHA’s youth division. Working with high school and post-high school students provides a unique opportunity to detect issues when they are smaller and more solvable, while also normalizing the concept of mental health care,” explained the Wayz Foundation founder and SIMHA board member Jobe Cabasso.

Treasurer Nathan Hoffman sees SIMHA as an end-to-end solution that will have a powerful impact in the Sephardic community.

“As Rabbi Sutton and I began speaking about SIMHA, we kept hearing from more and more people who approached us seeking help in regard to mental health issues,” observed Mr. Hoffman. “Just over those few weeks of our discussions, it became pretty evident that the community had a significant void, one that SIMHA is being created to fill.”

MINDFUL EATING NEW DIRECTIONS

MARY ANNE COHEN LCSW, BCD

MANY WOMEN, MEN, AND TEENS STRUGGLE WITH FOOD AND EATING AND OFTEN FEEL A GREAT DEAL OF BODY DISSATISFACTION. WHILE EVERYONE’S STRUGGLE IS DIFFERENT, EATING DISORDERS ARE VERY WIDESPREAD IN THIS DAY AND AGE.

WHAT ARE EATING DISORDERS?

Eating disorders refer to binge eating, bulimia, or anorexia. Binge eating describes a person who overeats because of emotional stress not physical hunger. Bulimics binge on food but then make themselves get rid of it through vomiting, laxatives, or excess exercise. Anorexics willfully choose to starve themselves. However, many people struggle with eating problems without falling into those categories.

Although the binge eater, bulimic and anorexic each deal with food in different ways—through overeating, purging, or starving—they all share one thing in common: the fear of being fat. This is the common denominator for everyone with an eating disorder.

WHAT CAUSES EATING DISORDERS?

Everybody is different. But the three most common causes of eating disorders are:

Cultural & Social Pressure: There is a saying that you can never be too rich or too thin, and it is this wish to be thin—or thinner—that causes people anxiety with food and weight. The media, advertising, and Hollywood all present an idealized picture that in order to be happy you must be thin. The media breeds within us perpetual dissatisfaction about how we look. That’s how they sell products!

Emotional Stress: When people have not directly faced their upsetting emotions, they often detour them through food. After all, food is legal, available, cheap, and comforting. Anxiety, depression, grief, rejection, loneliness, anger, guilt, sexual issues, or unresolved trauma can all contribute to turning to food or away from it as a way to soothe these strong emotions.

Starting A Diet: Dieting is considered the gateway to all eating disorders! A diet instructs you what you can and cannot eat in the name of weight loss. Diets set up a vicious cycle where first you are “good” by restricting your food and obeying the diet. Then feelings of deprivation invariably set in, then you will break out of the restrictions by bingeing, followed once again by committing to an even stricter diet to get yourself back on track. For people who are emotional eaters, dieting will always backfire.

How can people get better?

For people who have struggled with eating, weight, dieting, and body image, specialized therapy for emotional eating can be the path to healing.

Specialized therapy includes a two prong approach.

1. The therapist helps people improve their destructive eating behaviors, habits and negative thought patterns that can keep them stuck; this is called behavioral/cognitive therapy.
2. In addition, the therapist will help clients discuss the emotional issues that have driven them to use food as a stress reliever and help them find solutions to tackle these problems directly; this is psychotherapy.

Integrating behavioral plus emotional work can help people get back on track with food, eating, weight, and body image.

The process of therapy is a journey of self-exploration. It has been called “the talking cure.” With self-compassion, patience and perseverance, you can achieve success and overcome your eating problems.

If you struggle with food and eating, take this 15 question screening tool:

1. Is your self-esteem based on how much you weigh?
2. Are you preoccupied with how much you eat and how many calories you consume?
3. Do you ever avoid social engagements because you worry about not looking good enough?
4. Do you find yourself frequently dieting only to “fall off the wagon?”
5. Have you ever made yourself throw up to get rid of food?
6. Do you push yourself to excess exercise?
7. Do you restrict your eating but never feel thin enough?
8. Do you believe your life would be better if only you were thinner?
9. Do you go on eating binges?
10. Have you ever used diet pills, laxatives, or diuretics to get rid of calories?
11. Do you feel guilty after eating?
12. Do you feel food controls your life?
13. Do you have any secrets about food and eating that you’d be ashamed if anyone knew?
14. Do you often feel fat?
15. Are there things in your life that are making you feel depressed or anxious? And do you turn to or away from food at those times?
    Answering yes to one or more of these questions may indicate that you have a problem with food and body image.

MEND (Mindful Eating New Directions) is a new community initiative to help people like you. Food, eating, and weight are significant issues in our community, and MEND wants to help. You are not alone!
We will work with you to:
• Custom tailor an individual approach for
your unique needs.
• Help you get control for your eating
back inside yourself.
• Develop and maintain healthy eating patterns.
• Regain body confidence.
• Unlock what may be keeping you stuck
in your eating problems.

Schedule an initial assessment with MEND, and we’ll help you determine if you can benefit from treatment. To start a confidential conversation about your eating, please contact us. Your contact with us is absolutely confidential.

Please feel free to call (718) 336-MEND
MEND is a division of The Safe Foundation.

Mary Anne Cohen, LCSW, BCD is Director of The New York Center for Eating Disorders since 1982. She is also author of French Toast for Breakfast: Declaring Peace with Emotional Eating and Lasagna for Lunch: Declaring Peace with Emotional Eating. Mary Anne has hosted her own radio show on eating disorders, appears frequently on national television, and is the professional book reviewer for EDReferral.com, the largest international resource for eating disorders.

LAURA SHAMMAH MS, RDN

SHOPPING FOR AND PREPARING SNACKS FOR SCHOOL CAN BE DIFFICULT FOR ANYONE—EVEN A DIETITIAN. PEOPLE EXPECT MY CHILDREN TO GO TO SCHOOL WITH ONLY FRUITS AND VEGETABLES, BUT I BELIEVE THAT CAN BE EMOTIONALLY DAMAGING. I TRY TO SEND FRUIT, VEGETABLES AND SOME LESS HEALTHY SNACKS—OTHERWISE KNOWN AS JUNK FOOD. HOWEVER, I AM CAREFUL WITH WHICH JUNK FOODS I BUY. I ALLOW MY KIDS TO BRING INDIVIDUAL SNACKS OF THEIR CHOICE, ALTHOUGH I DO NOT BUY SNACKS WITH MSG.

Each year, each child and each school brings different challenges that I try to do my best to overcome. I try not to pressure my kids because food shouldn’t be a source of worry for any child or family. I aim to be creative, consistent, and calm.

My goals for this year were to try to have all snacks and lunches prepared the night before and to have each child ready on time so they could eat the healthy breakfasts that I prepare—and pray they don’t miss the bus.

I allow my kids to make their own decisions about what foods go into their bodies. I educate them, but I don’t pressure them. I believe the bigger you make the issue of eating healthy foods, the more resistance they may feel—so, I try to play it cool and you should too.

ARE YOU PUTTING TOO MUCH PRESSURE ON YOUR KIDS TO EAT RIGHT? RELAX!

Food shouldn’t be a source of worry for your family. Try to get your kids to eat healthier, but be creative, consistent, and calm. It can take 10 to 15 times before a child will decide to try or like something new. If it doesn’t work the first time, try a different approach, a new way to prepare and disguise the food, and, again, remember the importance of doing this in slow, small steps. Have patience and try to remember that the psychological damage may be worse than the physiological.

BE AWARE OF WHAT’S IN THE SNACKS YOU BUY

As I said, I let my children choose the snacks they take to school. I don’t mind sending chips, however they must not contain Monosodium Glutamate (MSG), a flavor enhancer commonly added to Chinese food, canned vegetables, soups and processed meats, veggie burgers, chips, canned beans, bullion cubes, dried soup mixes, salad dressings and many other junk foods.

Many people do not tolerate MSG well. It can cause headaches, flushing, sweating, facial pressure or tightness, numbness, tingling or burning in the face, neck and other areas, rapid, fluttering heartbeats (heart palpitations), chest pain, nausea, weakness, and/or liver damage. In addition studies show that MSG may cause weight gain by damaging the appetite regulation center in the area of the brain, causing leptin resistance. It can even cause brain damage in children, because a child’s brain is four times more sensitive than an adult’s.

Unfortunately, foods rarely list MSG as an ingredient. Just as sugar has many aliases, so does MSG. Some of its other names are hydrolyzed vegetable protein, autolyzed vegetable protein, textured vegetable protein, hydrolyzed yeast extract, autolyzed yeast extract, plant protein extract (which sounds very innocent), sodium caseinate, calcium caseinate, yeast extract, textured whey protein, and textured soy protein.

LEAD BY EXAMPLE

If you’re giving your kids apples and explaining how good they are for their health, yet they see you eating a Snickers bar as a snack, it’s never going to work. Feeding the entire family healthy meals and snacks is part of being a good parent. Never use the “D word” (diet) in front of children. Strict diets look like punishment to a child. Eating healthy foods should be a way of life. Two good tips: lead by example and eat everything in moderation.

WHAT ARE YOUR KIDS DRINKING?

You know that plants need water to grow—so do your children. Teach them to love water at a very young age and educate them about sugary sodas, iced teas and sports drinks. Let them know that one 20 oz. bottle of Coca-Cola, contains 65 grams of sugar. The American Heart Association suggests that a person consume no more than 24 grams of sugar in a day! Sugar in soda has been known to dissolve tooth enamel and even worse, cause heart disease. Some juices contain a lot of sugar as well. Always read labels and remember, you can’t go wrong with a glass of water. Don’t just live, live healthy!

Laura Shammah MS, RDN has a masters degree in health and nutrition and is a registered dietitian. She has been operating her own private practice in both New York and NJ for over 20 years. She is happily married and has four children.

NATALIE SENIOR GREENBERG

IF YOU LOVE FASHION, THERE ARE TWO MUSEUM SHOWS THAT ARE ‘MUST SEES’ IN NEW YORK CITY RIGHT NOW. THE METROPOLITAN MUSEUM OF ART’S COSTUME INSTITUTE IS CURRENTLY SHOWING, IN AMERICA: A LEXICON OF FASHION AND THE BROOKLYN MUSEUM IS CURRENTLY SHOWING CHRISTIAN DIOR: DESIGNER OF DREAMS.

The shows differ in that the Metropolitan Museum show includes many diverse American fashion designers, and the Brooklyn Museum show focuses on just one French designer, Christian Dior.

In America: A Lexicon of Fashion at the Met is inspired by a “patchwork quilt.” An 1856 quilt from the Met’s own American Wing collection is shown at the entrance of the show and serves as a metaphor for the US and its varied cultural identities. The displays of the fashion mannequins, (each seems to be floating in its own cubicle), are geometrically stacked and lined up just like the geometry of a quilt. And just like the patterns of a quilt, which relate to each other either in color or motif, the fashions are displayed with relationships to one another.

Dozens of fashions from the 1940s to the present are arranged into twelve sections based on the emotional qualities of: nostalgia, belonging, delight, joy, wonder, affinity, confidence, strength, desire, assurance, comfort, and consciousness. The fashions include not only well-known designers, but also new, emerging and diverse designers, showing that American fashion is always moving, changing and growing. It’s fun to walk through the collection and see the beautiful fashions from the past and the new fashions by young, up and coming designers. The fashions are well organized and displayed in an easy to approach manner.

In America: A Lexicon of Fashion will run though September 2022, but a new addition to the show: In America: An Anthology of Fashion will open on May 7, 2022.

Christian Dior: Designer of Dreams arrived at the Brooklyn Museum after being shown first in Paris in 2017. It is a very large, glamorous and theatrical show highlighting eight decades of designs by Christian Dior. Fans of Dior will appreciate the details in the exhibition and if you are not familiar with the brand, you will get a wonderful history lesson in fashion.

The extensive exhibition, which features several silhouettes on display for the first time, walks the viewer through Christian Dior’s relationship with New York. It takes you on his journey from his atelier in Paris to the United States. Throughout the exhibition, guests get lost in the wonderful world of Christian Dior through never-before-seen haute couture creations, designs from the House’s successive Artistic Directors like Yves Saint Laurent, John Galliano, Raf Simmons, and more, and finally, a collection of dresses that have been worn by celebrities from Princess Diana and Grace Kelly to Penelope Cruz and Nicole Kidman.

The entire exhibit is visually stunning, taking you through garden inspired displays to heavenly, cloud-like presentations. This show is not to be missed!

Christian Dior: Designer of Dreams will be on display until February 20, 2022. Both the Met and Brooklyn Museum shows require advanced timed ticketing.

Natalie Senior Greenberg is a Brooklyn College Art History professor, and the founder, curator and owner of an online art gallery.

A 1,500 SQUARE FOOT THERAPY CENTER

NOVEMBER 8TH MARKED A TRULY MONUMENTAL MOMENT AT THE CENTER: THE UNVEILING OF OUR NEW JEWISH COMMUNAL FUND SENSORY GYM. THIS EXTRAORDINARY FACILITY COULD NOT HAVE HAPPENED WITHOUT THE GUIDANCE OF THE UJA, WHO SECURED A GRANT FROM THE JCF’S ENDOWMENT, THE JCF SPECIAL GIFTS FUND.

The JCF enabled us to build an extravagant state-of-the-art 1,500 square foot therapy center, equipped with therapy swings, rock-climbing walls, monkey bars, therapy balls, and other sensory equipment. At the Center, we know that sensory gyms are vital in supporting fine motor skills, body awareness, increased social skills, enhanced independence, and so much more. It is a wonderful contribution that so many children in our community will enjoy and benefit from. The sensory gym has already become the talk of the town, and as word continues to spread, we can only imagine the impact this gym will have on our community.

The night of the event was filled with words of excitement from members of the JCF, including their CEO Sue Dickman and UJA’s Executive Vice President Mark Medin. The Center’s very own occupational therapist Evelyn Salama, as well as parent and longtime friend Susan Srour, spoke words of wisdom about how important the new gym is.

We want to thank everybody involved in this noteworthy project, and we invite the community to come to the Center and see our new addition.

AT THE SEPHARDIC COMMUNITY CENTER

SARAH CHREM, LMSW

THE CENTER OPENED ITS DOORS ON NOVEMBER 15TH, WELCOMING THE COMMUNITY TO CENTERED ON HEALTH. THE EVENT, WHICH HAD SOMETHING FOR EVERYONE, BROUGHT PEOPLE TOGETHER TO LEARN, RECONNECT, AND ENJOY THE DAY. CENTERED ON HEALTH BOASTED A ROBUST PROGRAM, ENCOMPASSING A DIVERSE ARRAY OF HEALTH-RELATED PRESENTATIONS.

Our health starts at conception. Genetic screening before marrying and having children is the first responsible decision we can make as parents. Dr. Ditchek of JPatible came in to help us understand more about recessive genes and the importance of genetic testing. As parents, we strive to keep our children safe and healthy. Along that theme, we had an RN at the event who gave presentations on what to do if your child is choking.

Parenting our children is our most important job. Parenting takes planning, education, and strategy. Being proactive parents will allow us to find positive ways to discipline our children, as well as tune in to their needs and advocate for them when they have challenges to meet. We also had a parenting expert, along with an occupational therapist, speech and language pathologist, and physical therapist. All of our therapists spoke to parents of young children about how they can grow as parents by recognizing, understanding, and meeting their children’s needs.

Presentations on both our mental and physical health were given at the event too. We live such full, fast paced lives and give so much of ourselves to our loved ones. We need to learn how to slow down and take care of ourselves as well. Having a life coach come in to discuss how to control the “rush” in our day was eye opening for many. Self care was also addressed by an auriculotherapist, who explained acupressure on the ear and the host of difficulties it can address and alleviate. Since we are always on the move, we don’t always pay attention to our physical well being. Learning about how lower back and knee pain are oftentimes caused by those areas compensating for other areas helped attendees realize that they need to address the less obvious areas in their bodies in regards to exercise and treatment.

As we move from stage to stage throughout life, our health needs shift as well. Everyone was excited to learn about how nutrition and metabolism affect health at different ages and stages of life. As we get older, we want to make sure we are staying strong, that’s why it is so valuable to learn about women’s bone health. We learned about what we can do to build and maintain bone mass, as well as things we can avoid that contribute to poor bone health. Finally, we learned about our mind and memory. Concerns surrounding memory need to be addressed from a wider angle because memory challenges can be a symptom of other medical issues. The full picture will point patients to the best course of treatment. We learned when we should be concerned and address potential issues with a medical provider.

Throughout the day, there were health screenings for participants to utilize. In some cases, screenings can save lives. Preventive medicine can help us understand what our medical needs are. Incorporating screenings into our Centered on Health event was a priority. We were able to include mammogram screenings (with the help of Morris I Franco Cancer Center) as well as hearing screenings (with Audiologist Dr. Jennifer Srour).

Then we moved on to discussing healthy food. Food is often at the center of our homes and families, but we need to be responsible about what we choose to eat. The varied cooking demonstrations approached cooking from different angles. Our cooking demos covered topics that included the medical components of the food we eat, different ways of incorporating new foods into our cooking, how to use what’s in our pantry and fridge for a balanced meal, how to make a smoothie that will help our bodies re-energize after exercising, how to eat well without depriving ourselves, and how to create a healthier version of Shabbat and holiday meals. The variety of subjects, along with the aromas traveling from the stage to the audience, kept everyone interested and hungry.

While the main goal of Centered on Health was to empower people with important information and health related knowledge, unifying the community stands at “the center” of what we wanted to achieve. The whole is greater than the sum of its parts. Every employee of the Center, as well as every presenter and organization involved, was responsible for the success of our event. We are proud to have collaborated with and owe a debt of gratitude to The Morris I Franco Cancer Center and Medstar, PROPEL Network, The Alzheimer’s Foundation of America, Dr. Stuart Ditchek, Dr. Ezra Dori, Dr. Jennifer Srour, Ray Sofer, Evelyn Salama, Laura Kurtz, Renee Zarif, Heather Deutsch, Nazira Chabbott, Sandy Zohni, Stefanie Zakay, Jacklyn Lahav, Frances Palacci, Judith Betesh, Sarah Hanan, Nina Dahan, Mozelle Goldstein, Roz Ben David, and Allison Esses.

Sarah Chrem, LMSW, is a special events coordinator at the Center.