BARKAI YESHIVAH HIGH SCHOOL HAS BEEN MAKING ALL THE HEADLINES THESE DAYS WITH SO MUCH HAPPENING IN PREPARATION FOR OUR OPENING IN SEPTEMBER 2023! OUR NEW BUILDING, LOCATED AT 1945 MCDONALD AVENUE, IS IN THE HEART OF THE COMMUNITY.
Sitting off the corner of Kings Highway and right next door to Sephardic Bikur Holim, our students will have easy access to hesed opportunities and community work, as well as restaurants and shops to enjoy. The new space, sitting at nearly 20,000 square feet on two floors, will be host to several large, bright classrooms, lab space, a beautiful Bet Midrash, a student learning center, a restaurant style cafeteria, a library and research center, a guidance suite and administrative offices.
In addition to a rigorous academic program that prepares students for college and career, BYHS offers a Bet Midrash style of learning for Judaic Studies, Madrikhim/Madrikhot to act as role models for our students, a special Empower Me workshop to focus on life skills and a partnership with Machon Lev, The Jerusalem College of Technology, that will offer students college credit when they take classes as early as 9th grade. Those are just some of the things that make Barkai Yeshivah High School an incredible experience.
While our amazing Open House event highlighted Rav Yeshivah, Rabbi Richard Tobias, Associate Principal, Mrs. Esther Tokayer and Director of Judaic Studies, Rabbi Nathan Zaboulani, we have since put together a stellar faculty, whom applicants and their families will be able to meet at our Meet the Faculty evening, later this month.
Stay tuned for more details and follow us on Instagram @BarkaiHS for updates and more exciting announcements to come!
We eagerly await our inaugural class and look forward to an incredible journey ahead!
WHEN, WHY & HOW TO CHOOSE A PLAN THATâS RIGHT FOR YOU
ARI BAUM, CFPÂŽ
WHETHER YOUâRE LOOKING INTO MEDICARE FOR THE FIRST TIME, OR WANT TO UPDATE YOUR STRATEGY, WEâVE BROKEN DOWN THE CRITICAL CHOICES YOU MUST MAKE INTO A SIMPLE DECISION-MAKING TOOL (INCLUDING THE EASY-TO-UNDERSTAND QUESTIONS YOU MUST ASK YOURSELF BEFORE CHOOSING A PLAN).
Getting the answers wrong can cost you big-time! Not only is healthcare likely to be your largest expense in your retirement (potentially $300,000 or more), but nearly every American over age 65 must eventually enroll in Medicare.
Making the wrong choices could cost you thousands in permanent penalties, leave you facing high medical bills without coverage, or force you into a too-expensive plan.
WHEN TO ENROLL Are you at least 65? Unless you qualify for disability, you typically donât qualify for Medicare until age 65. Are you covered by employer-sponsored or retiree health insurance? If so, and your employer has at least 20 employees, you may not need to enroll in Medicare yet.
Do you qualify for VA benefits or TriCare? If so, you may still need to enroll in Medicare Part B because VA and Medicare benefits do not overlap. Warning! If you are eligible for Medicare coverage and are not covered by qualifying insurance, you should consider enrolling in Medicare ASAP to avoid late enrollment penalties and higher premium costs.
WHY CHOOSE A MEDICARE PLAN?
What Medicare plan is right for me? Choosing a Medicare plan means balancing priorities and knowing whatâs most important to you. Rememberâthere are no right or wrong answers to the following questions.
Choosing between Original Medicare (Parts A + B) and a Medicare Advantage Plan (Part C). ⢠I already have doctors and specialists, and donât want to switch. ⢠I travel away from home and want coverage that spans the entire United States. ⢠I value the freedom to visit almost any doctor, hospital, and medical provider that accepts Medicare. You Should Consider Original Medicare Part A (Hospital Insurance) + Part B (Medical Insurance)
⢠I donât mind going through a primary care physician to see specialists. ⢠I stay close to home and can find a doctor within my network. ⢠I value simplicity and donât want to manage multiple insurance plans.
You Should Consider a Medicare Advantage Plan (Part C) Part A covers hospitals, rehab, and hospice care, whereas Part B covers doctor visits, lab tests, screenings, and other outpatient services. While Part A is free for most people, youâll pay monthly premiums for Part B plus deductibles, copays, and coinsurance.
Pros: You have the freedom to visit any provider or hospital in the U.S. that participates in Medicare and you donât need to work with a primary care physician to see specialists. This flexibility is ideal if you travel outside of your home network or have existing relationships with doctors you want to keep. Cons: Services have deductibles and copays, which may require you to purchase a Medigap or Medicare Supplement Plan to control your out-of-pocket spending. You will also need to purchase prescription drug coverage (Medicare Part D) separately.
Offered through private insurers, Part C is often structured like an HMO or PPO and provides comprehensive health coverage combining Parts A and B.
Pros: Many Part C plans cover extra services like vision, hearing, and dental and may include prescription drug coverage. Plans have an annual limit on your total out-of-pocket costs.
Cons: In addition to paying a part B premium, youâll typically pay an extra monthly premium for the Medicare Advantage plan. Networks change, doctors can leave, and benefits can change over time.
Choosing Original Medicare (Parts A + B)? Since it doesnât cover prescription drugs, you automatically need Medicare Part D. Youâll need to sign up as soon as you become eligible for Medicare, even if you donât use prescription drugs, to avoid paying late enrollment penalties.
Pros: Copays and other plan details vary by state and insurer, but they will cover most of the cost of your prescriptions.
Cons: After exceeding coverage limits, youâll pay the full cost of your medications until a Medicare threshold is reached. Letâs see if you need supplemental insurance to lower your out-of-pocket costs. Do you have retiree coverage through the military or a private company? Eighty-one percent of Original Medicare participants had some type of supplemental coverage. If not, you may want to consider a Medicare Supplement Plan or Medigap. What is it? Private insurance that fills the coverage gaps in Parts A and B of Medicare and helps with deductibles, copays, coinsurance, etc.
Pros: It limits your out-of-pocket costs for Original Medicare.
Cons: There are many different types of Medigap plans, all with different details.
Choosing a Medicare Advantage Plan (Part C)? Youâll need to determine whether prescription drug coverage is included. Most Medicare Advantage plans include prescription drug coverage, though not all do. Read your policy documents carefully.
HOW TO DECIDE You donât need to make critical Medicare decisions by yourself. As a taxpayer, youâve earned the right to your Medicare benefits. If this guide hasnât given you 100% confidence in your next steps, you donât need to go it alone. All you need to do is contact Medicare at 1-800-MEDICARE or 1(800) 663-4227.
Right now, you might be asking yourself questions like:
⢠How do I enroll? ⢠When is my next enrollment period? ⢠Which doctors and hospitals will take my plan? ⢠How much are my premiums, deductibles, and services going to cost? ⢠How do I balance coverage with price? ⢠Do I have to medically qualify? You can find the additional answers and support at www.medicare.gov.
The content aterial is developed from sources believed to be providing accurate information. Consult your financial professional before making any investment decision. Investing involves risk including the potential loss of principal. No investment strategy can guarantee a profit or protect against loss. Past performance does not guarantee future results.
Ari Baum, CFPÂŽ is the founder and CEO of Endurance Wealth Partners, with over 25 years of experience in the Financial Services industry. He brings his in-depth experience to Conceive. Believe. Achieve. for his clients. Securities and Advisory services offered through Prospera Financial Services Inc. Member FINRA/SIPC. Brokerage and Advisory accounts carried by Wells Fargo Clearing Services, LLC
DURING A CRUCIAL ROUNDTABLE DISCUSSION WITH THE EXECUTIVE TEAM OF THE SEPHARDIC DIVISION OF CHAIM MEDICAL, RABBI DAVID M. HABER EXPLORED THE ALL-ENCOMPASSING SCOPE OF THE ORGANIZATION, AS WELL AS THE TREMENDOUS LOVE AND CARE THAT IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE TRANSFORMATIVE IMPACT OF THEIR LIFE-CHANGING ENDEAVORS.
The Panelists Co-founder & Senior Case Manager Nathan Hoffman, Co-founder & Senior Case Manager Ezra Zaafarani, President Abe Sutton, and Vice President Norman Jemal
Rabbi David Haber (RH): The medical world is frequently misunderstood, particularly post-Covid, which is why Chaim Medical is so important. In its simplest form, what is Chaim Medical?
Nathan Hoffman (NH): An experienced team who are dedicated towards helping people overcome medical challenges. In a nutshell, this encompasses an organization of over 60 people who specialize in separate areas of medicine to support patients. Ezra Zaafarani (EZ): Medicine is so much more complex than it was 10-20 years ago. Thatâs why the help we offer is mainly educational.
Abe Sutton (AS): Chaim Medical also provides access to information they wouldnât otherwise have access to.
NH: Itâs where to find the best doctor, the best hospital, what kind of questions to ask, how to prepare for an appointmentâŚ
(RH): So, the average person who goes to the hospital, myself included, barely understands the technicalities of what is really happening. How does Chaim Medical change that?
EZ: I think people are surprised to hear the different questions we ask but in many cases, itâs something mentioned during intake that proves crucial to the case.
NH: It often starts when somebody suspects theyâre not feeling well and they donât know where to begin. They call Chaim Medical and now they feel, wow, Iâve got somebody in my corner. I can rely on them to help me through it.
AS: Most of the time, patients grant us access to their medical portal, which allows our well-trained medical coordinators to look into their case.
RH: So what does the intake process look like?
EZ: Every patient is asked a sequence of detailed questions, which helps us categorize the case and ascertain its level of urgency. Next, they are assigned a case manager, an assistant case manager and a medical coordinator. Every patient has three people constantly monitoring their case.
NH: They have an army behind them and they feel it. Just this week we had a challenge where tissue slides needed to be sent from one NYC hospital to another and the family was calling the hospital relentlessly, without success. You can imagine what the family was going through! Then one of our team members stepped in and said: âIâll take care of it. And it was transferred that very day.â Now this patient will likely receive treatment faster than they typically would. But thatâs not the point.
AS: Itâs that somebody took over the worry.
RH: If somebody receives an appointment far into the future, what should they do? Norman Jamal (NJ): Take the appointment and then call us to expedite it.
NH: Not every case warrants an expedite but when presented properly, doctors are usually happy to expedite appointments when necessary. Itâs about understanding how the medical system works.
RH: This is somewhat of a sensitive question. Ultimately, none of you are doctors; why should somebody trust a seemingly amateur group to handle anything medical?
AS: Theyâre not amateurs and theyâre not telling anyone what to do. Theyâre simply sharing Chaim Medicalâs vast knowledge to help them make a decision.
RH: I know Chaim Medical has access to information, experimental treatments and studies. How does that help?
NJ: People donât generally think to seek an opinion from a hospital in Houston or Minneapolis. But a coordinator who researches this day in, day out, will know which hospital has dealt with something similar and they will reach out for an opinion.
NH: Weâve had many situations where doctors from top hospitals worldwide have consulted on a case because of our relationship with those doctors. It happens all the time.
EZ: Weâve been involved in complex neurosurgery cases where we got 10 opinions from around the world in 48 hours. So yes, these connections come into play and itâs comforting to know we can call upon them when needed. RH: What categories does Chaim Medical deal with?
NH: There isnât a category that they donât.
RH: So thereâs no area in which Chaim Medical is unable to dig deeper for a patient. Another sensitive question: Is there ever a situation where one should give up hope?
NH: Those words arenât in our dictionary. Iâve yet to come to a circumstance where there werenât any options. Not every situation ends happily, unfortunately, but we never stop trying.
RH: Please share a story where you reached to the ends of the earth for someone, because for a lot of people, this is beyond the scope of their imagination.
NH: Weâve been involved in cases where doctors called the family three to four times to come and say their goodbyes. And I think if it werenât for Chaim Medical, it would have been just once. End of story. But we constantly asked, what do we have to do to get the patient through the next 24 hours? Over and over again. And then imagine hearing that the patient is coming home! All you need is one story to realize that you should never give up and really, thatâs what Chaim Medical is all about.
RH: True. It sounds like very intense work. What does it take to be a Chaim Medical team member?
AS: In one word, commitment. If the patient or their family needs you, you need to be available. We donât like to say 24/7, but thatâs what it is. NH: Approximately 10% of our cases are urgent. And from our point of view, those cases are anytime, anywhere, anyplace, weâre always with you.
NJ: This is actually an important point, there are many things that donât need to be dealt with immediately. As Nathan said, 10% of our cases are urgent, but the other 90% just need proper guidance.
RH: What do you wish people knew?
EZ: How much our team loves every community member. I donât know 70% of the people we deal with and it doesnât matter. Iâll stay up all night for whomever. If itâs a community member, if itâs a Jew, itâs my pleasure! And I think every team member is like that. The software rings on our phones day and night, so there is always somebody with you around the clock. Itâs love for our fellow Jews during their time of need.
RH: What is the current caseload?
NH: We have 160+ active cases at any given time and the list, unfortunately, keeps growing.
AS: The non-urgent cases require less input but there are 100 of thoseâŚ
NH: Yes, and thatâs just in our community. Chaim Medical, the parent organization of our division, deals with thousands of cases every day. The 160+ cases are from our division alone.
RH: I want to address another aspect because Iâve been there and I think itâs important. What can you advise a family member taking a patient to the hospital?
NH: Be prepared.
NJ: Youâve got to be really present. Pay attention, introduce yourself, say hello, say thank you.
EZ: Many times we deal with complicated family dynamics and we always recommend appointing one contact person for the family, so we can go back and forth and everybody can get the information from that one person.
NH: You know, something as small as asking for CDs after imaging. Itâs a small thing but you know how much time that could save?
AS: The average person that is thrust into a medical issue doesnât know what to do.
NH: And they donât want to do it. Nobody wants to be sick. Nobody wants their family members to be sick. We recognize that if the roles were reversed, G-d forbid, we would need somebody to tell us what to do, too. There are a lot of emotions.
EZ: Many times Iâll call a team member to review a case. Imagine, weâre doing this every day and I still sometimes need to bounce it off somebody else. How much more so does a clueless family member need to bounce it off somebody so they can figure out their next step.
RH: Also, some people get scared off by medical terms and they assume that if somebody in a lab coat said it, itâs written in stone. NJ: You need to trust doctors, but you should take notes and you should review it with someone knowledgeable.
AS: And there might be another doctor in a lab coat with another opinion.
NJ: To be sure, doctors save lives, weâre just facilitating the process and helping you find a doctor you can trust.
RH: Tell me about the skill set and dedication of your team.
NH: Dedication is really the first and foremost aspect. Never in my life have I seen a group as dedicated as the people working for Chaim Medical. Ezra and I get shocked every day, seeing how they go above and beyond for a community member in need.
RH: Do you have a parting message?
AS: We want the community to know that they donât have to go through a medical crisis alone.
For more information call (718) 649-4000.
To watch the full interview visit thecommunityconversation.com
Naomi was crying in my office, âI just canât go on vacation. Iâve gained so much weight since last summer, I donât want anyone to see me in a bathing suit. All the cool girls are going to be on this trip. I feel like such a loser!â What Naomi doesnât know is she is not aloneâtwo other girls have been in my office saying the exact same thing! Julia presents a different story, âAfter having my fifth child, I canât seem to lose the baby weight. So many girls in my community get back in shape pretty quickly after pregnancy. Everyone is going to judge me when they see me on vacation looking like a whale.â Naomi and Julia are not strangers when it comes to feeling badly about their bodies and weight, but the idea of having to show themselves in summer clothes makes them extra vulnerable. When vacation time intersects with âfeeling fat,â it becomes the perfect storm for self-consciousness and self-blame. How can we help Naomi and Julia embrace the enjoyment of their vacations while lessening their body image distress? Following are six suggestions of WHAT NOT TO DO and WHAT TO DO.
WHAT NOT TO DO Before vacation, do not go on a diet or restrict your eating in order to lose weight! It will backfire! You will either overeat on vacation or when you return home to make it up to yourself.
In her upcoming book, Body Love: An Awakening Journey from Diet Culture to Freedom, Sari Dana describes the lengths she went to trying to stay on a diet and even lose weight during a family vacation to the Caribbean. âI prepped, froze and filled up a suitcase with a vacationâs worth of juices, 5 a day, for 10 days. Thatâs 50 frozen juice bottles! The excitement, dedication, commitment, and will power wore off quickly! At each meal, I brought my juice with me to the restaurant while everyone else was enjoying delicious food. I tried really hard to drink while everyone else ate, imagining how wonderful I would feel after drinking 10 days worth of juice. When I could no longer hold on, I felt like a failure. Today, I donât blame myself. I wasnât yet awakened to the harmful practices of diet cultureâI was part of them.â
Do not compare yourself to others. We all have our own unique and personal journey regarding body image, food, and anxiety. The girl with the âmost perfectâ body may have her own inner stress and anxiety. Remember that âcomparison is the thief of happiness.â
what TO DO Eat mindfully. Tune in to your hunger. Eat what will satisfy you. Stop when youâre full. Try to translate why you are feeling fat. Many people blame their weight when they are really feeling anxious about something else. Naomi came to realize she was criticizing her body when, in truth, she was really worried about meeting boys on this vacation. When she was able to better focus on this underlying worry, we strategized how to better help her face her fears about her popularity and competition with other girls. Tell yourself, âIt is what it is,â in other words, accept yourself compassionately for where you are today. You are a work in progress. The final chapter has not yet been written on resolving your food and body image struggles. Enjoy your vacation! You deserve it!
If you would like support on your eating, weight, body image journey, please feel free to reach out to the Mindful Eating Project. We will work with you to:
⢠Custom tailor an individual approach for your unique needs. ⢠Help you get control of your eating back inside yourself. ⢠Develop and maintain healthy eating patterns. ⢠Regain body confidence. ⢠Unlock what may be keeping you stuck in your eating problems.
Schedule an initial assessment with The Mindful Eating Project, and weâll help you determine if you can benefit from treatment. To start a confidential conversation about your eating, please contact us. Your contact with us will be absolutely confidential. Please feel free to call (718) 336-MEND. The Mindful Eating Project is a division of The SAFE Foundation.
Mary Anne Cohen, LCSW, BCD is Director of The New York Center for Eating Disorders since 1982. She is also author of French Toast for Breakfast: Declaring Peace with Emotional Eating and Lasagna for Lunch: Declaring Peace with Emotional Eating. Mary Anne has hosted her own radio show on eating disorders, appears frequently on national television, and is the professional book reviewer.
DO YOUR VACATIONS TURN INTO A GREEN LIGHT TO OVERINDULGE? DOES YOUR MIND SET CHANGE TO SPLURGE MENTALITY? DO YOU FORGET ABOUT ALL YOU THE REASONS YOU WANT TO EAT HEALTHY ONCE YOU ARE AWAY ON VACATION? IF SO, YOUâRE NOT ALONE. HOWEVER, YOU CAN STAY ON A HEALTHY EATING PLAN WHILE ON VACATION AND STILL ENJOY YOURSELF. FOLLOWING ARE 8 TIPS THAT WILL HELP YOU STAY ON TRACK WHILE HAVING FUN.
Eat breakfast While vacation schedules vary from your local routine, donât skip the first meal of the day. If you are staying at a resort, take advantage of the breakfast or brunch buffet and fill up on fruit, salads and whole grains, such as whole-wheat toast or oatmeal. If going out for breakfast, choose lean protein, such as eggs, and fruit.
Walk everywhere Strolling through museums, a new city or on the beach is a chance to explore while getting in a little exercise. If a destination is within a mile, walk. Make sure you pack comfortable shoes.
Daily activity is key. Find fun ways to move, so all of your vacation activities donât revolve around food. Play volleyball on the beach. Go for a run through town. Take a bike tour. Try paddle boarding. Go for a hike. Walk through a museum. Play a round of golf. Do whatever spikes your interest. I always encourage my clients to pack their exercise clothes and sneakers.
Stay hydrated Dehydration is common when traveling, especially when flying. Bring an empty water bottle to the airport and fill it once you are past the security checkpoint. Stock up on water bottles once you are at your destination and bring a bottle wherever you go.
Make a shopping list If you are doing food shopping at your destination make a shopping list before you go. Making a grocery list before you go to the store can help limit unnecessary buying and avoid forgetting items that can help you stick to what makes you feel great.
Plan your day Try to Stick to your usual eating habits when possible. I make sure to plan ahead and pack healthy snacks or meals for the beach or the flight there. I also try to pack a fruit, vegetable, and snack to help me stick to my normal habits that make me feel great.
Splurge once a day Itâs fine to enjoy special treats when youâre on vacation. If you are in Paris, you might want a fresh-baked croissant from the bakery. If you are on a road trip with the kids, you might want to stop at the ice cream stand for a homemade indulgence. The trick is to monitor your portions, eat slowly and savor every biteâand donât feel guiltyâjust enjoy.
Have fun and indulge when you feel the time is right. Vacations are about enjoying yourself and making memories with each other. While creating a healthy eating plan is important, so is treating yourself every once in a while. Savor the time with your family. These will be the memories everyone will remember for years to comeâso make the most of your time together.
Relax Between catching flights, recovering from jet lag, being aware of new surroundings, and of course, family; traveling can be stressful and exhausting. Stress and lack of sleep mean that our cortisol levels will be higher and our sugar cravings will peak. Taking deep breaths can help keep you grounded.
Be gentle with yourself and remember that vacations fly by quickly, so make sure to enjoy non-food related fun and activities. Try your best to eat healthy on vacation and know that every meal and every movement is a chance to practice self-care.
Laura Shammah MS, RDN has a masters degree in health and nutrition and is a registered dietitian. She has been operating her own private practice in both New York and NJ for over 20 years. She is happily married and has four children.
JOSEPH SOFFER AâH WAS BORN IN 1906 IN THE KHAN KHALIL NEIGHBORHOOD IN CAIRO, EGYPT. HIS FATHER, REUBEN SOFFER WAS BORN IN BAGDAD, IRAQ AND EMIGRATED TO CAIRO WHERE HE WORKED AS A MERCHANT. HIS MOTHER SIMHA WAS BORN IN ALBANIA AND EMIGRATED WITH HER FAMILY TO JERUSALEM AND ULTIMATELY EGYPT.
In 1931 he married Rachel Sultan AâH. Together they had 4 children: Allegra Mizrahi, Clement Soffer, Marcelle Zeit and Robert Soffer. In 1952 he was appointed controller of the accounting department for the Egyptian division of Ralph Pontremoli and Sons, which was the largest high quality furniture firm in the Middle East and was owned by a prominent Italian-Jewish family. The family lived a very nice religious and comfortable life in Egypt until President Nasser came into power and nationalized all Jewish businesses. This led to the persecution of the Jewish people. Allegra married in 1950 and moved with her husband to Israel.
Coming to America: In 1956, Clement left after being arrested for helping the Jews escape. Joseph and the remainder of the family fled in 1958 together with most of the Jews. When leaving Egypt refugees were only allowed five Egyptian pounds each, which was at the time the equivalent of $20. So after living a very comfortable life, the family left with a total of $80. The family traveled to France where they were housed by Hias and fed from a soup kitchen. They waited 10 months for their American visas to arrive. Robert celebrated his bar mitzvah in Paris.
In 1959 the family finally arrived in New York and Joseph was able to start his blessed life again. He was successful both in his business and religious life. He became one of the founders and early president of Congregation Ahaba Ve Ahva on 67th Street, as well as the controller for Joujou Designs. Unfortunately, his wife took ill and passed away in 1965.
Oseh Sedakot: After a health scare in 1979, he pledged to open a charity fund if he was healed and so he established a Sedaka UâMarpeh which proceeded to help hundreds of struggling families in Israel for over 40 years and continues to this day. That was followed a few years later by Or Yosef Foundation which was established to help Kollelim and Yeshivot. He passed away on December 12, 2003, 18 Kislev 5754.
Josephâs legacy lives on through his children and grandchildren and the great institutions he established. His son Clement has served as lay leader in many communities throughout his life and Robert is a mainstay in Congragation Ahaba Ve Ahva of Brooklyn.
The above biography was posted on a special display at Congregation Ahaba Ve Ahva of Ocean Parkway to commemorate the Yahrzeit of Joseph Soffer A”H. The display was part of its ongoing Heritage program led by Rabbi Jack Savdie. The program aims to commemorate the lives of our great Hachamim and lay leaders, and their contributions to the community. Zechutam Yagen Alenu.
A THRIVING MARRIAGE NEVER HAPPENS BY ITSELF, NOR DOES A BUSINESS. IF YOU DON’T HAVE A PLAN AND DO THE WORK, YOU ARE DOOMED TO STRUGGLE AND SPEND LOTS OF TIME AND MONEY TO SOLVE YOUR FRUSTRATION. THIS MIGHT BE WHY SOME FEAR GETTING MARRIED AND THE INCREASED DIVORCE RATE.
Developing healthy relationships is a critical skill that is required to create and maintain a thriving marriage and business. Here are great steps to help you create a happy and thriving marriage or business. Follow this plan and with the Almighty’s help you will succeed.
First, let’s talk about one of the biggest challenges. Many people believe that things will just work themselves out and don’t realize they need to make specific effort or know the steps to take to ensure relationship success. Unfortunately, most people have yet to learn this or struggle their whole lives to figure out how to build relationships with certain people, and it blocks their happiness. Maybe there was time when people thought “it will just work out,” and it did, but that’s not how it works anymore. The world has changed.
Not only is this old way not working, but what’s happening is divorce rates are climbing, and businesses are imploding because to be successful, you must have effective relationship building tools. I know this because I’ve spent over 25 years and lots of money on training to find the best ways to help families and businesses thrive. I’m sharing some of these lessons to save you time, money, and aggravation.
The Five C Framework to Succeed in Marriage and Business will save you hundreds of painful hours trying to figure it out yourself.
The 5 C’s: Connection Compliments Communication Commitment Continuity
These are applicable if you are dating, married, or have been together for 20 years.
Connection: All relationships begin with a connection. Schedule time with your spouse (or team members and be emotionally available. Make eye contact. The better the connection, the better the relationship.
Compliments: Everyone wants to be valued. Think it, feel it and say it. Express your appreciation to your spouse/partner. This will make them feel acknowledged.
Communication: You are always sending and receiving messages-both verbal and non-verbal. Listen to others when they talk, understand what they’re saying, reflect and validate their words. Get better at listening than talking. When you do speak, make clear requests.
Commitment: If you want to have a lasting relationship with someone, especially a spouse, commitment us necessary and it must be honored or it means nothing. You are a lifetime partner committed to help and support each other.
Continuity: Continuity bridges the past into the future. As you live, lessons are learned, experiences shape you, and you’re influenced by others. Use all the lessons of your life, the pain, the struggles, the hardships, the excitement, the happiness, and pay it forward to educate the next generation. Continuity is your reinvestment in your relationships and the key to your long-term success, because this is how your legacy lives on. The better the marriage and business you build, the more significant your impact.
The 5 C’s are a simple relationship roadmap to marital bliss and business prowess. Good things happen when I apply them in my life, and when I get lazy or ignore any of these steps, there are always consequences. Nothing meaningful was ever created alone. You will always have relationships, you might as well make them amazing.
Embrace this framework, cut it out, hang it up, follow these steps and reap the benefits and success. Wishing you loving relationships and profitable business.
Rabbi Ezra Max, PCC, MHMP, Xchange Guide & Creator of “The Max Method” assists businesses and professionals deal with stress and achieve success. Rabbi Max has witnessed 20 years of results helping executives, parents and teens overcome struggles, improve communication and thrive. He lives in New York with his wife and five children.
WHEN DR. VITOW FIRST INTRODUCED THE CONCEPT OF MINI-MESTER TO THE STUDENTS AND FACULTY OF MDYHS, THEY THOUGHT THE IDEA WAS INCREDIBLE, BUT IMPOSSIBLE. THE PLAN WAS FOR ONE WEEK IN DECEMBER, STUDENTS WOULD BE ALLOWED TO CHOOSE ONE CLASS OUT OF 31 CLASSESâBASED ON A TITLE, A BLURB, AND NO OTHER INFORMATION.
Thatâs not all, for a few hours the first two days the classes would meet and learn about their topic, and then on the third day, the entire school would leave on a trip related to their class. The logistics, the planning, and the details seemed near impossible. Everyone wondered how it would work. They should not have had any doubts, because like every other seemingly enormous idea that New Principal Dr. Vitow has suggested, Mini-Mesters went off even better than anyone could have imagined!
To get started, the talented faculty was tasked with coming up with a passion or an interest that they would like to share with the students. Ideas like fishing, French cooking, ice skating, video gaming, and stock market investing came to the surface.
Students chose classes based on their interests, without knowing who would be teaching them, what their friends chose, or where they would go on their trip. Curriculums were written, buses were booked, and reservations were made.
The first big reveal came just a few days before Mini-Mesters began. Class rosters hung in the atrium for students to see before it was finally time for orientation, where teachers of the courses were revealed. Students were shocked to see what some of their favorite teachers were interested in. Rabbi Jacob Matalon is the SY Fisherman? Mrs. Laila Zeitoune is a Harry Potter fan? We couldnât wait to begin!
Getting together for an hour and a half on the days leading up to the trip, with students of all ages and teachers they may not have ever met, the excitement in the building was palpable and the questions came fast and furiously. âWhich class are you in? Wait, whoâs teaching that? Where are you going on your trip?â The hallways overheard little else. Finally Wednesday came and 31 buses pulled up to the high school with their GPSâ set to different locations. The girls in Shaatra at Home went to The Well to learn how to cook and donate mazza with Mrs. Jennifer Franco. Ms. Susan Cohen took her Emergency group to the Hatzalah building for a tour. Rabbi Joey Esses went to Beat the Bomb with his students in Can you Play the Game? Mr. David Sloan met Dr. Israel Jacobowitz, Cardiovascular and Thoracic Surgeon, at NYU Langone, with his students in The Heart of the Matter, and much more.
Senior Stephanie Franco was in a course called Etiquette for Young Adults, where Mrs. Stephanie Shamah and Mrs. Kimberly Djouejati gave lessons on the proper way to set a table, and how to conduct yourself in certain situations. Boys and girls alike hung on every word, and put their new skills to the test by setting their Shabbat table. âI truly loved and soaked in every minute of this course,â Stephanie wrote in an email to Dr. Vitow, âI walked out of the class knowing how to speak properly, sit properly, and act properly. The teachers were amazing, and no one could have done the job better! I learned how to set up a beautiful table, and this is extremely helpful especially for a girl who will love to set her table for company in the future. Overall, my experience was a 10/10 and Iâm extremely thankful and grateful.â
Junior Felix Hadef, was in a course called A Trip to Eternity, with Rabbi Isaac Escava, Rabbi Meyer Topas, and Rabbi Reuven Jacobsohn. âFirst we went to SCHI which stands for School For Children of Hidden Intelligence, a school for special needs children. I must be honest and say I was really nervous, because I just did not know what to expect. The second we walked into that building it just felt so amazing. Everywhere we walked everyone had a smile on their face. We saw the children and how they learned and how they dealt with their disabilities. This really amazed me, because they all have some tough and challenging lives and thereâs not one second that they did not have a smile on their faces.â Hadef continued, âWhile we were exiting the building I was thinking to myself about how I had absolutely no reason to be a little nervous and I understood that these children were not different, rather they were just perfect. This day is a day to remember and a day that really helped me change the way I see certain things.â
As the week came to an end, the feelings of excitement and gratitude, from both teachers and students, didnât die down. Everyone went into Shabbat feeling a sense of accomplishment and pride in our faculty and students, for pulling off this incredible BIG idea.
THIERRY MUGLER: COUTURISSIME IS AN EXCITING, CREATIVE, EXTRAVAGANT EXHIBITION ENCOMPASSING THE ICONIC FASHION DESIGNER THIERRY MUGLERâS CAREER. IT IS COMPRISED OF OVER 130 HAUTE COUTURE LOOKS, DOZENS OF FASHION PHOTOGRAPHS AND VIDEOS OF INSPIRING AND GROUNDBREAKING FASHION. IT WILL BE ON DISPLAY UNTIL MAY, 2023.
The French designer Thierry Mugler, who passed away in early 2022, had lived in New York City for many years, and Brooklyn was very inspirational to his fashion and creativity. Therefore it is important and wonderful to have this exhibit shown in Brooklyn. It was so enjoyable to view the many fashion photos that featured New York City, and included fashion stars such as Lady Gaga, Kylie Jenner, Beyonce and Cardi B, all of whom Mugler designed for.
Mugler always disliked the idea of the retrospective, an exhibition or compilation showing the development of the work of a particular artist over a period of time. So, when approached by curators from the Montreal Museum of Fine Arts, where this show was first shown, Mugler was promised that the exhibition would not be just a boring chronological tour of clothing. The fashions are arranged into themes and his work is put into a much more approachable and relatable context of what fashion now represents in the world.
The exhibit begins with fashions that Mugler designed for the stage, including an elaborate cage dress designed for Lady Macbeth.
The fashion photography is incredible. Most of the famous fashion photographers of the last few decades, such as Helmut Newton, Herb Ritts, David la Chapelle, Sara Moon, and Guy Bourdin are represented, and all collaborated with Mugler. Especially interesting and beautiful were the fashion photos of models in unusual locals, such as Greenland and the Sahara Desert. There were photos of models perched on New York City skyscrapers, such as the Chrysler Building and models juxtaposed against international architecture with unusual shapes. All were stunning and thought-provoking.
The Celebrity Section highlights fashions designed specifically for David Bowie, Diana Ross and Madonna. Itâs amazing because it brings back memories of a very special time in fashion and culture. In this section, there is a fashion video of George Michaelâs âToo Funky,â which was co- directed by Mugler and features many supermodels from the 80s and 90s. It was fun to watch this video and pick out all the supermodels that I recognized.
Another area dedicated to futuristic fashion shows Muglerâs inspiration from comic-book heroines and science fiction. The aerodynamic and robot-style looks he invented are now iconic. Leather, rubber, plastic, metal and fabric are all manipulated in truly original and ingenious ways.
The show concludes with Metamorphosis; extremely imaginative designs inspired by the natural world. Birds, butterflies, insects, undersea creatures and reptiles are all inspirations for Muglerâs fantastical fashion interpretations. These creations are the most elaborate and visionary of the entire show and are truly works of art. The beadwork, sequins, fabrics and embroidery are couture fashion at its best.
This multimedia extravaganza has stage settings created by film designers and does not disappoint in keeping a visitorâs interest. Moving from room to room, one encounters an assortment of mannequins, videos, drawings and stage sets. The compilation of this exhibit is just as creative as the designer at the center of it all. If youâre a fashion or art lover, put it on your things to do list for a cold, winter day.
Natalie Senior Greenberg is a Brooklyn College Art History professor, and the founder, curator and owner of an online art gallery.
OVER SHABBAT, DECEMBER 16 AND 17, KESHER, AN ORGANIZATION WHICH ADDRESSES THE UNIQUE NEEDS OF POST-HIGH SCHOOL BOYS AND GIRLS FROM OUR COMMUNITY, HOSTED ITS FIRST ANNUAL GIRLâS RETREAT IN EDISON, NJ. THE WEEKEND WAS DIRECTED BY KESHER RABBINICAL LEADER, RABBI JOEY HABER. HE WAS JOINED BY KESHER TEACHERS, MRS. MOLLY HABER AND GUEST SPEAKER RABBI MOSHE MALKA.
Over the course of two days, 150 girls from different community schools, and varied religious backgrounds, came together to learn and be inspired. The theme of the weekend was âStep Up.â The retreat focused on reaching your greatest potential and striving to be a better you.
Kesher, meaning connection in Hebrew, was founded in 2011 to help college students stay connected to Jewish learning and Torah studies. It has grown tremendously over the last couple of years, under the leadership of Rabbi Joey Haber. The organization is currently active on multiple campuses servicing the young adults of our community, while transforming and building relationships between the students and their teachers and rabbis. Kesher decided to cultivate these new relationships with a weekend dedicated to encouraging religious growth and strengthening faith. It was sponsored in memory of Estelle Hedaya AâH.
âAt first, I didnât know what to expect out of the weekend; however, my expectations were far exceeded. Kesher thought of every little detail from the mazza giveaways to the game show on Saturday night. It was a memorable experience,â remarked one participant.
The weekend was filled with panels and speeches from eight different Kesher teachers that act as relatable mentors and role models who offer advice and guidance to the girls. Each woman shared her personal experiences; they all had a different emotional journey that was moving and touching for everyone to hear. Their path to who they became was not easy but they all had one thing in commonâthe best way to step up is to step down and allow Hashem to step in. Sharing in their individualized journeys was one of the most special parts of the retreat.
âThings donât happen to you, they happen for you.â Rabbi Malka expanded on this quote with many inspiring stories, and explained to the girls that in order to notice the bigger picture in life, they must shift their mindset to see the result of their actions.
Rabbi Haber spoke about taking the next step in life. We cannot be afraid to grow and become better, the results that follow will continue to move and push us forward. Judaism is not about focusing on the things we are prohibited to do. It is about changing our perspectives to say yes to all the good and positive that the Torah observant lifestyle makes available to us.
I most enjoyed the time spent talking with the other girls on the trip and getting to know the teachers. The retreat away from home gave us the opportunity to bond and create relationships that are sure to last. Connecting with them outside of the classroom in a less formal setting created the perfect environment for all of the participants to share their experiences and allowed for the Kesher teachers to offer guidance on how to step up, grow spiritually, and take on more mitzvot.
âThese girls are devoted to learning and growing. Even past midnight after all the speeches, they blew every stop sign and just wanted to keep learning. They stayed up until 4 A.M. forming connections with everyone around them,â said Rabbi Haber after the two long nights.
The girls also had the privilege of hearing from the community-renowned Mrs. Molly Haber during a marriage panel. The Q&A allowed the girls to gain the clarity and understanding they were looking for.
One memorable highlight that moved the attendees was hearing from Charlene Aminoff. On Motzei Shabbat she spoke about her daughterâs near death experience. This traumatic event was the springboard for lasting change. In Charleneâs words, she âsnoozed growth and change,â and she waited until she received a âblasting alarmâ in order to step up. A quote that resonated with the audience was âman plans and Hashem plans better.â The takeaway was that we should all be sensitive to the miracles all around us and commit to âstepping up,â committing to small changes in our service of Hashem.
âAfter all the hard work and planning there is no greater feeling than seeing it all come together. The love and warmth was felt all around, throughout the weekend by both the Kesher team and the girls,â said committee member Tina Kassab. The weekend was inspiring in more ways than one and helped each and every girl tap into her best potential.
Sarah Benun is one of girls who attended this weekend. Sarah is a Flatbush 2021 graduate and is currently a sophomore in FIT College. She attends both Kesher class on campus as well as night classes.
ON DECEMBER 12, SEVERAL YESHIVOT GATHERED AT TWO LOCATIONS TO PARTICIPATE IN THE YACHAD 2022 PROGRAM. THE PURPOSE OF THE PROGRAM WAS TO FOSTER UNITY, COMMUNITY, AND ONENESS THROUGHOUT THE VARIOUS YESHIVOT IN THE NEW YORK AND NEW JERSEY AREAS.
Seventh grade boys and girls from nine different schools from New Jersey, Brooklyn, Staten Island, Queens, and Long Island all attended the program. Magen David Yeshivah Elementary School hosted the girls, while the boys were hosted by Yeshivah of Flatbush at the Sephardic Community Center on Ocean Parkway.
The boys had four different schools participate in their program; Hillel, Barkai, Yeshivah of Flatbush, and Magen David. They listened to a speech about Hanukkah by Rabbi Tawil of Yeshivah of Flatbush, and Rabbi Knapp of Hillel gave a Dvar Torah. The boys were inspired to understand and embrace ahdut, unity. Next, they played an exciting game of Yachad Pyramid with questions about climate change, American history, and other topics led by Rabbi Wielgus of MDY. A game of basketball followed, and then everyone enjoyed a delicious lunch. Zack Dweck commented, âIt was so cool to get together with students from other schools.â Rabbi David Sultan said, âIt was nice to see how excited the boys were to see their friends and cousins from the other schools.â
The girls had a huge soiree in the gym at MDY. As each school entered the auditorium, they were greeted with high-energy cheering and warm hugs. It looked as if long-separated families were reuniting for the first time in many years. The principal of MDY, Rabbi Ezra Cohen-Saban, spoke to the girls about togetherness and caring for one another. Lizzy Mizrahi of MDY conducted a spelling bee with words based on the concept of yachad. Of course, the contest came down to long time rivals YOF and MDY, with Flatbush pulling out the final victory this time.
After a short speech about donating tzedaka to help underprivileged brides in Israel on their wedding day, by Mrs. Greenstein of Lev Rivka, the girls participated in a talent show. Another high-energy experience with dancing, singing, cheering, and just general mirth.
Mrs. Levy, a long-standing and respected 8th grade Hebrew teacher at MDY, commented, âIt was nice to see the girls from the different schools so excited to be together. It was very special.â
âI loved hanging out with and meeting students from the other schools,â commented one 7th grader, who continued, âwe were laughing the whole day! I hope we do it again soon.â
The program was sponsored by the Harari family in honor of their daughter, Randy. A Scroll of Honor noticed the efforts of three students: Rhonda Harari, Erin Shemia, and Gail Chabbott
Special acknowledgment to Ora Delbery, the dance teacher at MDY. She has been teaching Israeli dance to girls of all grade levels for many years. Her efforts in preparing and administering the dance program did not go unnoticed. Her dedication to the girls is quite humbling.
The goal of the program was to foster unity in the community and everyday lifeâmission accomplished! Now letâs grow the flames of unity.
Frank Morgano is a 6th & 8th grade ELA teacher and staff reporter for Magen David. He has been a teacher for over 23 years and enjoys reading, playing guitar, hockey and Korean sword fighting.
THE SLEEPLESS NIGHT BEFORE MY ROAD TEST HAD MY STOMACH ALL TWISTED IN KNOTS. FAILING WOULD MEAN IâD HAVE TO WAIT ANOTHER WHOLE MONTH BEFORE IâD BE ELIGIBLE TO TAKE THE TEST AGAIN AND JUST THE MERE THOUGHT MADE ME WINCE.
The dream of being a licensed driver was on the line and it was more important to me at the time than breathing itself. At 16, few things seemed to be more of a monumental achievement than to be able to get behind the wheel solo.
I failed that first test. The jitters got the best of me and I made some costly mistakes. My only choice was to regroup, dig deep inside myself for some youthful confidence, and pray. I scheduled my retest and the first date available was a month away, on a Friday the 13th. With the odds stacked against me and the heebie jeebie witchery of the date playing tricks on my brain, I patiently waited and forged ahead with the highest of hopes.
The voodoo gods shined their light on me on that Friday the 13th and I passed. A happier kid has never existed. I would soon offer my mom to run every errand she could think of, or ask her to make some up just to get behind the wheel. Driving was such a euphoric high that even a trip to the grocery store was a highlight of my week. As I clocked more miles under my belt, it was becoming evident that it was time for the next stepâowning my own car.
A few years later I was out of school and working so I could afford to finance a new car. Thatâs when I bought my first convertible. A 5.0 liter Mustang GT was my choice, apple red with a white top and white leather seats. What a powerhouse. What a vision. The thrill of motoring around with the top down and the radio screaming out Bruce tunes was one of lifeâs finest pleasures. It mattered not where I was going, as long as I was going in style with the engine purring and my tires hugging the roadsâ curves. That automobile was as much a part of me as my right arm. I originally bought it to pick up girls but I met Sandra a month later, so in that respect you could say it worked like a charm.
As the years passed, the models changed. Then came the advent of leasing and ownership became simplified. You were able to trade up every three years or so for something new. My personal choices have always been convertibles, and exclusively European. I developed an emotional attachment to each car to the point that when the lease was up, as ecstatic as I was to trade up, I always scratched my head as to why the honeymoon seemed to outlast the lease maturity date.
Maybe itâs because Iâm a guy, but cars have always been a vital part of my existence. Theyâve become a part of our identity. An extension of the self. They represent a status and can express oneâs personal taste and success. As the odometer spins it measures your pride and contentment as much as it measures miles. In a way you can say it defines who you are, or at the very least who you want to beâa sort of self-esteem machine. They can make you look cool and even trick you into believing that youâre more powerful than you are thanks to the popping pistons and revving motor. Caring for one brings a happiness and it rewards you with the bliss of the open road. Driving is one of the few times you can feel in control of where youâre going and how youâll get there, all the while arriving in style.
But the last few months have made me question my intimate relationship with these vehicles. My son David borrowed my car to pick up some take-out food one night and smashed it to pieces. Thank G-d a million times he was unharmed, but the car most certainly was not. The insurance company deemed it a total loss and my flawless sexy German precision engineered convertible was no more.
Iâve been tooling around in that car for a couple of months now and I have to admit I have completely realigned my thought process. Donât get me wrong, German engineering it is not. I spent the first 10 minutes looking for the heated seat and heated steering wheel buttons only to realize that they probably werenât even invented when this car was made. Void of the back-up camera and navigation screen, it dawned on me that my first cars didnât have any of those features but I loved them nonetheless. As I drive the old clunker Iâm realizing that itâs taking me to the same places that a brand new model would. Ironically the cars most luxurious feature is how it humbles me. Iâm not getting dirty snarls from road raged drivers who would otherwise assume Iâm a snob or getting challenged to races from testosterone fueled kids in sports cars. This car simply has 4 wheels, an engine, and a purpose to get you where youâre going. I donât mind and have even grown to enjoy driving it. It took me a full circle to grow up.
I plan on biting the bullet and placing an order soon on a new ultimate driving machine. Perhaps when the sticker shock of the new supply chain affected prices seeps in. But for now Iâm surprisingly not rushing it and Iâm ok that the old car is my current ride. Somehow it âput the brakesâ on how I should view things made of metal, plastic, and rubber. I learned that a car does not define me. Itâs the guy in the drivers seat that does.
Brian Marcus is a community member who loves to write.
BEGIN 2023 WITH THE FOLLOWING REFLECTION QUESTIONS TO LEVERAGE YOUR STRENGTHS. WHAT WERE YOUR WINS AND SUCCESSES IN THE PAST 12 MONTHS? HOW MIGHT YOU LEVERAGE THESE WINS TO CREATE EXCEPTIONAL OUTCOMES FOR 2023?
In the 18 Committed Leaders Group, we looked at some of the most significant gains, lessons and progressions over the past year to build upon this to create a really powerful 2023.
In his book, Good to Great, Jim Collins says, âIf you have more than three priorities, you have none.â You must define your top two or three priorities to create a powerful year.
What are your top three priorities for 2023? Are they family, business, health, spirituality, emotional intelligence, or something else? Make sure you write them out and share them with someone who will hold you accountable!
These are some simple, obvious steps that successful people take to ensure they are continuously successful. In, Be Your Future Self Now, Dr. Benjamin Hardy, focuses on how to create your future self in the present. One of the most fascinating principles is that your future self will be different from your current self and how you can get there faster. Most people build their future self leaning on their past instead of being more innovative and having their future self pull them forward. You might be wondering, how can my future self pull me forward if it doesnât exist yet? The answer is that when you choose who your future self will be, you create the energy and the drive and you are pulled toward it.
Have you ever set a goal? Does setting this goal make it easier or harder to achieve? Obviously, itâs easier to achieve a goal because you are aiming for it. Otherwise, youâre just drifting mindlessly.
How many people do we know who are drifting through life mindlessly with no end in sight? When something happens, they say, âThis is not the life I want. Iâm not happy.â Have you ever met an unhappy person? You certainly have. Well, if they donât have a goal, and theyâre not actively pursuing it, why assume life will get better. Perhaps you can help them set a goal.
We donât always get everything we want and this doesnât mean failure. We certainly get closer to our goals by having them versus not. What do you want to achieve? Who is it that you want to become? What is it that you want to do? What does your future self look like? Who do you want to be doing it with? By answering these questions and framing them in the context of your top two or three priorities for 2023, this exercise will improve your destiny. Answering these simple questions will automatically enhance your life.
If you want to increase your chances of success. Make a plan to bring it into reality. Keep this plan where you can see it daily. Have an accountability partner and monitor your progress toward your desired future self regularly, at least once a month. You canât go wrong with this strategy because even if you donât achieve the exact goals that youâre setting, you will definitely be closer to them. You will have learned and gained tremendously.
Hereâs a tip that Dr. Hardy recommends. Write yourself a letter as if itâs January 1, 2024, one year away. Write this letter celebrating the wins and accomplishments of the past 12 months, as if they have already happened. Describe what your day looks like, what your week looks like and what your life looks like. Detail what you have achieved, learned and accomplished. Describe who you have become. You can look at the letter frequently or put it away. A year from now, open it, read it and measure how far youâve come or how close youâve gotten to achieving what you set out to do.
We know that the direction and choices a person truly desires will be supported with divine intervention. Which way do you want to go?
Wishing you success in becoming your best future self.
Rabbi Ezra Max, PCC, MHMP, Xchange Guide & Creator of âThe Max Methodâ assists businesses and professionals deal with stress and achieve success. Rabbi Max has witnessed 20 years of results helping executives, parents and teens overcome struggles, improve communication and thrive. He lives in New York with his wife and five children.
