A Giving Hand is more than just an organization—it is a lifeline for couples grappling with infertility, offering financial and emotional support when they need it most. Founded by Meyer and Golda Ashear, A Giving Hand was born from their own painful journey with infertility. As they navigated their struggles, they felt the profound isolation, the weight of the financial burden, and the emotional toll that infertility can take. They understood that no one should ever have to face this challenge alone, and thus, A Giving Hand was created to extend a supportive hand to couples facing the same struggles. Their mission is clear: to provide the resources and encouragement needed to help couples pursue medical fertility treatments and, ultimately, to bring new life into the world.

Meyer and Golda’s personal connection to infertility makes their work deeply meaningful. “When my wife Golda and I founded A Giving Hand, we envisioned a world where the financial burden and stress of infertility would cease to exist,” Meyer shares. “Our mission is to empower those on this journey to give thaem the support they need to turn their dreams into reality.” They approach each couple not just as clients but as members of the A Giving Hand family, maintaining close relationships and celebrating their progress every step of the way. The Ashears stay in touch, send thoughtful gifts, and constantly pray for each couple’s success. This personal touch is what sets A Giving Hand apart—it’s not just about financial assistance, but about creating a community of support, love, and hope.

Joyce Harari, one of the many beneficiaries of A Giving Hand, knows firsthand the profound impact this organization can have. Reflecting on her own journey through infertility, she says, “If you had told me a year ago that I’d be standing here speaking about my journey, I would’ve said you were crazy. Infertility is such a private struggle, and you often feel so alone, like your body isn’t working, and you’re constantly asking, ‘Why me?’ But A Giving Hand changed that for me.” Joyce’s emotional rollercoaster was met with unwavering support from Meyer and Golda. They not only helped her financially but were also there emotionally, offering friendship, reassurance, and a shared understanding that eased the burden. “Knowing that they themselves were going through the same thing made me feel normal,” Joyce recalls, “and able to not focus only on myself.” It’s stories like Joyce’s that highlight the true essence of A Giving Hand—an organization that not only offers financial assistance but restores hope to those who feel lost.

Harry Adjmi, a passionate supporter of A Giving Hand, articulates the value of the work the organization does. “What you’re doing is critical to couples who are struggling,” he says. “I think $18,000 is cheap—I think a million dollars is cheap—what is it to make a life? A billion?” His words reflect the deep impact that infertility has on individuals and families, and the priceless gift of giving life to those who yearn for it. He emphasizes the importance of the Ashears’ work not just for individuals but for the community as a whole. “You’re doing it for our community. You’re not doing it for some faraway place for people we don’t know.” Harry’s commitment to supporting A Giving Hand is evident in his desire to see the organization continue to grow and help more people. “Please don’t hesitate when the tank starts to get low,” he urges Meyer and Golda. “Call on me and anyone else who believes in what you’re doing.”

Rabbi Joey Haber also speaks to the unique mission of A Giving Hand and the incredible generosity of the Ashears. He paints a vivid picture of what life is like for couples struggling with infertility: “Imagine coming home, and the house is quiet, with no children running around, no toys scattered on the floor. It doesn’t get lonelier than that.” Yet, instead of allowing their pain to consume them, Meyer and Golda chose to extend their hand to others, saying, “We have your back. We will make sure you get to the finish line.” Their selflessness is inspiring, and Rabbi Haber marvels at their ability to take their own pain and turn it into something that brings hope and joy to others. “You’ve already helped 85 couples, and in 10 years, we’re going to look back and see hundreds of babies born because of you.”

The ripple effect of A Giving Hand’s work cannot be overstated. Rabbi David Haber, who has witnessed firsthand the impact of the organization, explains, “In my community alone, there are multiple couples who now have children because of the assistance they received from A Giving Hand.” He reflects on the profound spiritual reward of helping bring new life into the world, echoing the sentiment that saving a life is akin to saving the world. But what about creating a life? The joy and fulfillment that come from supporting a couple through their infertility journey cannot be quantified, but its impact is felt by the couples, their families, and the community at large.

A Giving Hand is not just an organization; it is a beacon of hope for couples facing one of the most challenging times in their lives. It offers not only financial assistance but emotional support, friendship, and the unwavering belief that no one should walk this road alone. Meyer and Golda Ashear’s commitment to helping others through their own personal struggles is a testament to the power of empathy, generosity, and community. As Joyce Harari so beautifully put it, “Without them, my beautiful Rachel Mazal would not be here.” A Giving Hand has already made an immeasurable difference in the lives of so many, and with continued support, it will bring many more miracles into this world.

Chai Lifeline, the Jewish communities’ leading children’s health and crisis support network, is proud to announce the establishment of a dedicated Sephardic Division, designed to meet the unique needs of the Sephardic community and provide culturally sensitive support and services. This new division will extend Chai Lifeline’s comprehensive range of assistance to better serve Sephardic families facing medical crises.

Under the leadership of Jack Tabbush, Director of the Sephardic Division, and with the visionary guidance and support of Joseph Dushey and the Dushey family, along with Jack Braha, this initiative is set to significantly enhance Chai Lifeline’s mission. The division will focus on delivering individualized case management, counseling, educational programs, crisis intervention, trauma response, and community-specific support services, ensuring a culturally resonant approach to aiding families in need.

“The creation of the Sephardic Division is a significant step towards addressing the unique needs of Sephardic families in our community,” said Rabbi Simcha Scholar, CEO of Chai Lifeline. “Staffed by local professionals and volunteers from within the community, the Sephardic Division will offer more targeted and impactful support that will help families as they navigate their medical journeys.”

Jack Tabbush, an experienced leader within Chai Lifeline, has a deep connection with the community and brings years of experience in program management and community service.

“I am honored to lead the Sephardic Division and excited about the potential to make a tangible difference in the lives of many families in our community. Our goal is to ensure that no Sephardic family faces illness or crisis alone,” said Tabbush. “We are deeply grateful for the Dushey family’s unwavering support and visionary leadership, which have been instrumental in shaping the direction of the Sephardic Division.”

To maximize the effectiveness and impact of the Sephardic Division, Chai Lifeline welcomes Debbie Mezrahi as its dedicated Case Manager. Debbie brings a rich background in communications, health, nutrition, psychology, trauma, and bereavement to her role. Her responsibilities include assessing the needs of families, developing comprehensive support plans, connecting clients with necessary services, and providing ongoing counseling and monitoring. She is trained in crisis counseling and has years of experience working in the crisis intervention field.

“Debbie’s deep understanding of the community’s needs will drive the success of the division’s outreach and support programs,” said Tabbush.

The Chai Lifeline Sephardic Division will operate out of its headquarters at 1115 Ocean Parkway in Brooklyn, NY, and will offer programs and services across various locations with significant Sephardic populations, including Brooklyn, Deal, Manhattan, and Lakewood. The division is currently rolling out several new programs, including community outreach initiatives, educational workshops, and expanded volunteer training programs tailored to the Sephardic community.

For more information about the Sephardic Division or to learn how you can support this vital initiative, please visit www.chailifeline.org/sephardic or call 718-475-0002.

Mary Anne Cohen

The High Holidays are a beautiful time of spiritual renewal – a time to pause in our daily lives and routines to draw closer to Hashem and our inner spiritual selves. However, for many people who struggle with eating and body image problems, the Holidays can be a challenge and a source of stress. The Holidays take us out of our comfort zone and our familiar structure of work, school, family life and thrust us into lots of rich enticing meals, lots of socializing, lots of quiet time praying, as well as the strain of fasting. For those in eating recovery who depend on the security of a predictable routine, the Holidays may leave them triggered and unsteady.

Recovery from an eating disorder includes learning to eat when you’re hungry and stopping when you’re full. Feast days or fast days interrupt that recovery work by requiring you to ignore your hunger and fullness, which can trigger someone in recovery to relapse. So first, let’s put the holidays in perspective – they have a beginning, middle, and end. Remember, you will be back to your normal recovery eating routine shortly!

It’s been said, “Those who fail to plan, plan to fail!” Planning and preparing for the support you’ll need requires thoughtfulness ahead of time. You have lived through many High Holidays and need to look back at what has worked best for you in the past! Let your own inner experience be your teacher.

Here are six strategies to follow for both Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur:

1. Share with those who care: Isolating with your eating disorder will make things harder. Choose a friend or family member who knows what you’re going through and whom you’ll see often during the Holidays. Check in with them regularly as to how things are going for you, what issues are coming up, and how you’ll handle them. If you are in therapy or have a nutritionist, include them in your planning before the holidays begin.

2. Be of service to someone you know who is struggling. Reaching out to another person who may be suffering with their eating disorder is a compassionate act that may strengthen your own determination to take good care of yourself.

3. Remember, the holiday is about illuminating your spiritual path, not about what you ate, didn’t eat, or should have eaten!

4. Practice Self-Care: Before eating, take a long breath, relax your shoulders, and exhale slowly. Do this three times. Put your hand on your stomach or on your heart to keep you connected with your inner self.

5. Repeat a short prayer silently for comfort throughout the Holidays such as, “Help me find the courage to make my life a blessing.”

6. Avoid the temptation to join random conversations about food, fat, or appearance.

Some additional considerations about fasting for Yom Kippur: There is controversy about whether anorexics should be exempt from fasting. Jewish law does underscore the priority of honoring one’s health – mental health included. “Judaism is very clear that literally nothing comes in the way of saving a life — nothing,” explains Rabbi Yakov Saacks, director of the Chai Center in Dix Hills, New York. Rabbi Saacks understands the complexities of eating disorders and their intersection with Judaism in a very personal way because his daughter suffered from an eating disorder.

“After my daughter got sick, I had to make some hard decisions,” Rabbi Saacks says. “Once I realized that insisting on the Jewish laws on food and eating was an obstacle to her recovery, I let it go. The philosophy here is that only a living person can observe the commandment to fast on Yom Kippur, and if I even allow her to fast, then … fasting will serve to exacerbate her eating disorder and make her ability to fight to live another day more difficult.”

If fasting is an issue for your recovery, please speak to your rabbi for guidance.

Cultivate compassion for yourself. We, as human beings, are all imperfect. The High Holidays remind us of our intention to keep striving to lead our best lives physically, emotionally, and spiritually. We strive for progress, not perfection.

Mary Anne Cohen, LCSW, BCD is Director of The New York Center for Eating Disorders and author of three books on the treatment of eating disorders including French Toast for Breakfast: Declaring Peace with Emotional Eating. www.EmotionalEating.Org.

A Rosh Hashanah Imperative to Improve
Your Relationships

Rabbi Ezra Max

Rosh Hashanah is your opportunity to improve anything in your life and especially your relationship with the Almighty. It’s not only a time for reflection, but also an opportunity to mend and renew relationships, particularly with our Heavenly Father and our earthly families. As business leaders and parents, it’s crucial to recognize how our relationship with the Almighty and our personal dynamics with our families and employees reflect and impact our professional and personal lives. The upcoming New Year is a perfect moment to address and resolve any lingering “Daddy issues” and reframe our understanding of authority, guidance, and love.

Understanding the Impact of Loving Structure Versus Neglect

Imagine a business where you provide an employee with unlimited pay and benefits but fail to set clear expectations or provide structure. This employee would likely become confused, disengaged, and unproductive. Similarly, in the realm of parenting, a lack of structure and clear expectations can lead to frustration and poor outcomes. Too much freedom and enabling without guidance or accountability can result in chaos and even self-destructive behaviors.

Contrast this with a structured, loving environment where expectations are clear and support is consistent. In business, employees thrive under clear guidance, constructive feedback, and accountability. In parenting, children flourish when given boundaries coupled with affection and support. This approach helps them understand expectations and develop healthy self-discipline.

The Wisdom in Challenges: Necessity and Innovation

In our relationship with the Almighty, this dynamic is mirrored. Hashem provides us with the Torah and the Mitzvot as a blueprint—a loving structure to guide us and ensure we stay on the right path. Just as a structured environment leads to successful outcomes in business and parenting, so does adherence to this divine guidance lead to spiritual growth and fulfillment.

The saying “Necessity is the mother of invention” reminds us that obstacles often lead to innovation and breakthroughs. This principle applies to our personal and professional lives. Difficult situations, while challenging, can open doors to new opportunities and growth.

Addressing Daddy Issues: A Path to Connection

Reflect on how past difficulties have led to personal or professional breakthroughs. When you faced a tough situation, how did it eventually lead to a new opportunity or growth? This perspective is essential as we approach Rosh Hashanah. Recognizing that challenges are often the catalyst and stepping stones to success allows us to face them with faith and resilience.

Many of us struggle with unresolved issues related to our fathers or authority figures, including our relationship with Hashem. These issues can manifest as frustration, anger, or disconnection. On Rosh Hashanah, it’s crucial to address these feelings and seek to repair and renew these relationships. This is the specific moment to feel into the deep spiritual connection our Neshama (soul) has with the Divine. We have an opportunity to acknowledge and commit to improving our connection, communication, and compliance for the future.

Reality check: We as parents and business leaders also have the opportunity and even an obligation to reach out toward our children and employees to open lines of improved communication and connection. We must address conflicts and foster positive relationships with our children and engage in healthy, adaptive interactions with our employees. This means making the effort to connect, communicate, and model positive behavior.

For example, a client of mine, facing a significant crisis with a key employee who was undermining the company culture, initially struggled with frustration and a sense of failure. He decided to focus on his own self-improvement, which included a deeper commitment to prayer and reflection. He then began to build a better connection with the problematic employee, who was on the verge of being fired. This shift in approach not only transformed his relationship with the employee but also brought positive changes in his family dynamics. The improvements were significant, and he leveraged this challenging situation into a triple play WIN: enhanced employee relations, improved family harmony, and renewed business success.

The Rabbis have taught us that anyone making an effort to improve is Divinely assisted. This makes the seemingly impossible not only possible but probable, therefore—you must try.

Practical Steps for Improvement

Reflect and Repair: This Yom Tov (Holiday) season, take time to reflect on your relationships with your children, employees, and with Hashem. Identify areas where you might have fallen short and take steps to address these issues. Acknowledge any unresolved feelings and commit to making positive changes.

Engage in Connection: Make an effort to reach out and connect. For parents, this might mean planning activities with your children, having meaningful conversations, or simply being present. For business leaders, it could involve regular check-ins with your team, expressing appreciation, and fostering a supportive work environment.

Model Healthy Behavior: Demonstrate the behavior you wish to see. For parents and leaders, this means modeling emotional resilience, respect, and commitment. At home and at work, it involves setting clear expectations, providing constructive feedback, and creating a supportive atmosphere.

Seek Divine Guidance: Embrace the opportunity Rosh Hashanah offers to reconnect spiritually. Engage in prayer, Teshuva (repentance), and Tzedakah/Chesed (kindness) to strengthen your relationship with Hashem and align your actions with divine guidance.

Connect with Yourself: You are a Divine being with a unique task in this world that includes specific challenges you need to overcome. Apologize, forgive yourself, and commit to having an awesome year of improvement, growth, and expansion.

A Prayer for a Sweet New Year

As we approach Rosh Hashanah, I offer you this blessing: May your year be filled with renewed connections, personal growth, and divine guidance. May you find clarity in your relationships with yourself, your family, and Hashem. May your efforts lead to abundant outcomes, and may you experience a year of health, happiness, and spiritual fulfillment. Gmar Chatima Tova!

By Laura SHAMMAH MS, RDN

The Jewish holidays is a hopefully a time of excitement, happiness and togetherness. But for many it is a time of anxiety, anxiousness, fear and worry, especially for those who struggle with their body image or relationship with food. For some the thought of what to eat and what not to eat is just too overwhelming. The holidays can be full of triggering comments, diet culture talk, and food-centered days.

Here are some tips for staying grounded and making decisions that honor your body with a feeling of food freedom.

Don’t skip meals to “save up”
for the holiday meal

DO eat during the day! Just because there’s a big meal that night doesn’t mean you should save up your calories. This is both unhealthy and could cause you to overeat. Eat breakfast, lunch and a snack that are rich in protein and complex carbs. When you see all your favorite foods over the holiday, you will be more satiated and calm and be able to enjoy without indulging. Too much restriction can lead to adverse effects.

Focus on your own plate.
Comparison is the thief of joy!

No matter what Aunt Sara, grandma, your siblings, mom or whoever are eating — remember that your body is your body. What someone else chooses to eat has no bearing on what you choose to eat. Your preferences, tastes, energy needs and cravings are uniquely yours. Looking at what others are eating to validate or guide your own choices should be avoided. focus on what foods bring YOU joy. Eat the things that you love, not the things that you think you “should” put on your plate.

Avoid body checking behaviors

This could be stepping on the scale, checking body parts in the mirror or putting on certain clothes. It could also be seeking approval or compliments from other people. The more you self-objectify, the worse your body image becomes. Body checking also negatively impacts your self-worth and self-esteem. It can also mess with your food choices and your mood. Stay grounded in how you feel, not how you look.

Stick to neutral language about food

Naming foods “good” or “bad” will only moralize some foods while demonizing others. Creating this all or nothing, black and white thinking-hierarchy of foods is what drives restriction and bingeing. Try to keep all foods neutral.

Identify when your inner critic shows up to the party.

If you have a negative head that talks to you, slowly you can learn to override it with positive thoughts. Don’t get thrown off-course just because that voice shows up. Just decide what you will do with it. This is social conditioning, after all, and it’s a product of all of your life experiences, family culture, friends, media, and much more. So instead of getting overwhelmed by the negative thoughts and giving into them, be ready for them. When they show up, identify them and remind yourself that you can do hard things. The presence of your inner critic does not mean that you have to disrespect your body. You can hear the voice and still choose to take care of yourself while eating the foods you love. In the end the more you override those inner critic voices, the quieter they’ll become.

Wear comfortable clothing

Getting dressed and putting yourself together in a way that is comfortable but makes you feel attractive is an important self-care tool that helps override many uncomfortable feelings.

Set boundaries about diet talk and or have an exit strategy for diet culture conversations

Keep Conversations Light! In most families, talking about food, body size, and exercise is common conversation at the table. Keep in mind that even if the conversation isn’t about your loved one’s body or eating habits – they will be applying any perspective to themselves. Keep conversation at the table or gathering positive and light! This will help your loved ones create a positive association with food and family time. If some topic is uncomfortable, nonchalantly change the subject or gently tell your family that you are working on your body and your relationship with food, and hearing negative body talk or diet comments is really unhelpful and unhealthy for you.

Remember that you are allowed to eat all foods any day of the year

This is a big one. While holiday meals are certainly special, I hope you can remember that these foods are available to you all year round. You can make your favorite kibbeh and mashed potatoes whenever you want. You can eat dessert any night. What’s the point? The point is that there is a ton of hype around these meals, when in fact, food is always just food. When you give yourself unconditional permission to eat what you want all the time, these occasions become less emotionally charged.

Be present and savor the special moments, delicious food, and memories

When you’re too wrapped up in food and body image, you can miss out on so much. So even if it gets hard, come back to the present moment. Come back to what is happening around you. Come back to making memories, seeing loved ones and the spiritual holiday. Don’t let life pass you by while the diet culture steals precious time from you.

If guilt or shame creep in around food or you feel like you need to compensate your food consumption with an extra workout, here are some Holiday Food Freedom affirmations you can use:

1.    Food is not my enemy. I thank it for nourishing me and giving me energy.

2.    Holiday foods are not indicative of my overall health.

3.    Guilt and negative feelings I have about my body do not serve me.

4.    I give myself unconditional permission to eat.

5.    I honor and trust my body and its needs by eating foods that are pleasurable, satisfying and nourishing to me and I give myself permission to enjoy all foods that make me feel good.

6.    There are no good or bad foods, every food has a purpose and will fuel me either mentally or physically.

7.    Movement is an act of self-care & self-love, not punishment.

8.    I honor my body.

9.    I am grateful for my body & all that it does for me.

10.  I will show my body that it can trust me by not restricting food.

11.  The foods I choose to eat do not impact my self-worth.

12.  I deserve to nourish my body.

Learning to embrace food freedom and letting go of food rules is a journey and won’t happen overnight. Be sure to show yourself some patience as you navigate through. If you or a loved one is struggling with emotional eating, consult a registered dietitian that specializes in eating disorders or your medical provider for additional support if needed.

Wishing you all a happy and healthy new year.

Is My Baby Meeting His Milestones?

When Do I seek Help?

Carolyn Orfahli, MS, OTR/L

You’re a new mom who’s looking forward to your baby’s first mommy & me class. Around the room babies are sitting, facing their mothers, and playing “peak a boo” with colorful scarves. Your baby isn’t able to sit yet. You start to wonder if your child should be sitting like his peers. This is not something you foresaw to be a concern. You’re a pro mom, you’ve been acing it for the past 7 months. Your baby eats well and sleeps through the night, but sitting, who even thinks about it?

Occupational therapists (OT) are experts in developmental milestones that begin in infancy. These milestones, occur at specific windows of time to progress your baby throughout development. Milestones help integrate primitive reflexes and keep your baby playing and feeding age-appropriately.

As a mother, you aren’t supposed to inherently know about when these milestones occur. Luckily, your pediatrician goes over a list of milestones at each well visit. Your pediatrician may ask: “Is your child rolling?” or “Is your child pointing?” At a glance these questions may seem like easy yes or no questions. However, if you think about it, does anyone speak about how excited they are that their baby is rolling?

You may answer yes to the milestone questions at the appointment. That afternoon, while playing with your baby, you notice that your baby is only rolling to his left and is only using one hand to reach for toys. This observation may be nothing of concern or your baby may benefit from OT.

What do you do? With any concern, always consult with your pediatrician first. They may advise to seek OT right away, the earlier your baby is in therapy, the quicker they progress. Sometimes, your pediatrician may advise to “wait and see.” Now, the power is in your hands. If you are worried about your baby, you can decide to seek therapy instead of waiting. You are the expert on your baby. You are taking notice to how he plays compared to his peers. If your OT recommends therapy, now your baby has the best possible chance to get on track. Once your child is evaluated, your OT may recommend physical or speech therapy instead. If your baby doesn’t need therapy, your baby is doing well and your mind is an ease.

When an OT evaluates your baby’s skills, they are analyzing each of your baby’s body movements, checking their primitive reflexes and overall strength. For example, in regard to rolling: Is your baby rolling to his right and to his left? Is your baby rolling from their back to belly and from his belly to back?

During OT sessions, you’ll receive guidance on stretches, positioning, exercises and different activities to help your baby achieve his milestones.

The developmental milestones occur within a range of months. As a general rule, OTs give the baby time to “catch-up” before suggesting therapy. Each baby’s case is specific, whether they were born prematurely, have a muscle tightness or diagnosis will dictate the urgency of initiating OT.

The following is a list of milestones that your baby should be able to do by each age. Other milestones related to standing/walking and speech/communication are not listed; consult with a physical or speech therapist accordingly.

OTs address the following:

2-3 months:

•      Lifts head briefly during tummy time

•      Brings hands to mouth

•      Visually tracks toys

4-5 months:

•      Bears weight on forearms during tummy time

•      Rolls from back to belly and belly to back

•      Reaches and grasps toys

6 months:

•      Sits unsupported

•      Grasps small objects using all their fingers

8 months:

•      Crawls on hands and feet

12 months:

•      Pincer grasp with index finger and thumb with both hands

•      Self-feed finger foods

•      Transitions between all positions: laying down, sitting, crawling

Additionally, if your baby seems floppy, rigid or seems to exhibit sensory seeking behaviors (rocking or spinning) or sensory avoidant behaviors (refuses to touch certain textures in food or play), an OT may be of assistance. When in doubt, seek OT out!

Carolyn Orfahli, MS, OTR/L is a Pediatric Occupational Therapist and founder of MamaBear OT. She has extensive experience working at NYU Rusk Rehab pediatric outpatient unit and in Early Interventions/School settings. She can be reached at: (718) 490-5045.

Natalie Greenberg

A re you a creative woman? Have you ever wanted to take an adult art class without having to go to Manhattan? Then Muse BK is for you! It is a co-working studio and art event space located in the heart of our community, created just for women artists.

Muse BK was the brainchild of a very talented community artist who was looking for a space in our neighborhood to work. After consulting with many other female community artists, it was decided that the new studio would have a communal space where women can get together to work on their own art, as well as private spaces where professional artists can work. These types of spaces have been previously available in Dumbo, Red Hook, and Gowanus, but nothing like this has ever been available close to where we live in South Brooklyn!

Muse BK was created to give artists space to work, play, and dream. To ensure a comfortable working environment for everyone, only 20 members will be accepted at a time. The workspace at Muse BK is flexible. Work surfaces, storage, easels, and chairs are provided to members free of charge.

Muse BK is also an onsite gallery, housed within a hub of other creative businesses; it will display members’ work. Dedicated to serving the local creative community, Muse BK is an affordable, accessible place for people to expand their creative thinking, invest in their art practice, and connect with others doing the same.

Muse BK will also be open to outside guests for artist talks, Drink & Draw, Gem’s Art Salon, and art classes in all types of media. Guest passes for daily visits are available for a nominal fee.

Natalie Greenberg is a former Brooklyn College Art History professor. She currently volunteers to teach Art History at the SBH Senior Division. 

On November 5, 2024, Joey Cohen Saban’s grandparents, who once fled their homeland in search of safety and a new beginning, will cast their votes for the first time in their lives—and they’ll be voting for their grandson.

Joey’s story, like so many in our community, is one of resilience and shared values. Joey was raised alongside us, sends his children to the same schools we do, walks the same streets, and prays amongst us.

Joey is ready to be the first homegrown representative from our community to serve in Albany, bringing a deep understanding of our challenges and needs.

Joey’s decision to run comes after two years of failed leadership. Our current assemblyman, a socialist-turned-Republican, has neglected the community’s needs. Quality of life issues have never been addressed. There has been zero outreach to the community. Millions of dollars in critical funding have vanished—funding that should be supporting our schools, institutions, and families. Joey knows the importance of securing these resources because he lives it, just like you do. He understands rising costs and the value of our community institutions, and he is determined to bring back the support we deserve.

Joey knows that many in the community tend to vote Republican at the top of the ballot. But this election is about making sure we have someone who will fight for us in Albany, someone who has “a seat at the table within the majority”. No matter who you choose at the top of the ballot, be sure to vote for Joey Cohen Saban at the bottom.

He’s one of us, amongst us, and he will make sure our voice is heard.

Paid for by People Enhancing NY; Gil Cygler, Treasurer; Top Three Donors: Peter Fine, Dan Fireman, 75 Broad, LLC, 150 Broadway NY Associates LP, Herald Towers, LLC; Not expressly or otherwise authorized or requested by any candidate or the candidate’s committee or agent. More information at nyc.gov/FollowTheMoney.

SOPHIA FRANCO

Two men sit at the end of a dock, fishing alongside each other. One catches plenty of fish; the other guy’s line stays empty all day. “What are you using as bait,” the first guy asks, while admiring his fresh bucket of fish. “Me, I got my favorite cherries from the fruit store. I don’t know why the fish aren’t biting.
What are you using?”
“Me? Worms, of course. You may like cherries, my friend, but fish, they like worms.
If you want the fish to bite, you have to give them what they like—not what you like.”

Following King Solomon’s direction, we learn that we are responsible to teach each child according to their own way. In Hebrew, חufrsנhpוkg rgbkךlubj – Chanoch l’naer al pi darco. Thirty years ago, the options for a child having speech delays, focusing issues, or organizational problems were practically non-existent. There were special schools, but they were for the severely disabled. There were early childhood programs for delayed toddlers, but the children aged out before kindergarten started. There were middle school programs, but they began in the fourth grade. For an otherwise “normal” five or six-year-old who needed some extra attention or a more personalized education, there was nowhere to turn.When Claude and Jack Setton found themselves in the midst of this search, the year was 1993. Armed with the determination only a parent can muster, an exceptional speech therapist who was willing to run the program, and a son who needed a school of his own, Gesher Yehuda (GY) was born.

In a warm and loving environment, GY, located on Avenue T in Brooklyn, introduced small classes, individualized attention, and a curriculum tailored with ingenuity and flexibility towards each student. Age appropriate skills and Jewish heritage are emphasized. Professionals identify and use students’ strengths to expand knowledge and confidence. Claude Setton remembers, “That first year we had just six students and Vivian Stok in charge, who was the most incredible principal for 20 years. By year two, there were 18 kids, and by year three, 36. Our son attended the school for only two years. When he began kindergarten, he was unfocused and distracted, and tested in the bottom ten percentile. When he left 24 months later to attend the Yeshivah of Flatbush 2nd grade, he tested in the 98th percentile. That is not a typo. He never needed a tutor or resource room. He went on to win awards, get a scholarship to an honors college program, to marry and have beautiful children. I often ask myself how this is possible. Maybe Hashem put us where we needed to be to make this school a reality. Maybe he just needed to learn how to learn. Maybe, just maybe, miracles happen here.”

Today, Gesher Yehuda offers a loving and empowering atmosphere to almost a hundred students each year. Graduates thrive, just like Claude’s son did. They go on to attend mainstream high schools and colleges, they get jobs, run companies, marry and give back to the community who supported them when they needed it most. Make no mistake. This is by no means a “special needs school.” This is a school for children with learning challenges. Jack and Claude Setton are steadfast, and still involved in every decision and every giant step, each move a “thank you” for what the school did for their family.

Jack recalls, “When we went out looking for a school for our son, the options were horrific. When I saw the impact Gesher made on my child—in just two years—I knew this was important. We want these kids to reach their greatest potential. Joe Beyda A”H explained it to me. He said that it’s not the kids that have disabilities, it’s us. The kids are just challenging us to teach them differently.”

A FRESH OUTLOOK

Eileen Sutton, a longtime trustee, has always been very involved in the school, and is also a grandmother of two of the graduates. She explains, “What is the child’s future if they don’t have the right education? Grandparents have wisdom and retrospect that some young parents don’t have. The parent may think that by sending their child to another school they are erasing a stigma, but I can tell you from experience that at GY, it is the exact opposite experience. Dealing with the problem when the child is young is easier and far smarter than dealing with the exponential problems that happen later. Instead of the child feeling outcast with teachers and students that can’t cope with them, here the child is receiving the unconditional love and support of both their parents and their educational team. These kids are fully capable of learning and being on grade level but often suffer through school, and they are paying the price. Sometimes they are labeled uncooperative, mischievous or bad kids, but they are often living with ailments the parents are just not addressing.”

Eileen continues, “I was helping a family who had a baby born with multiple challenges and delays. I met her when she was four years old. I said to her father, ‘She’s ‘lucky to have you as parents.’ He answered, ‘no, we are lucky to have her.’ This child is thriving because her parents gave her that message, over and over again, not with words but with actions. When she came home from school and told her father she made a friend, he cried. He showed his love by giving her the right education. GY teaches by ability not by age. The teachers develop unique programs for each child, whether for cognitive, attention, language, or developmental deficiencies. The kids are thriving, Baruch Hashem! Yes, they think differently, and sometimes lack the filter we all use to protect ourselves, but later in life this out of the box method of problem solving can become an asset, and a fresh eyed approach to a better life.”

THE SCHOOL

Almost 30 years old, Gesher Yehuda is at the forefront of proactive education. Its innovative, customized curriculum makes the students feel comfortable in their own skin, and gives the kids a chance to grow at their own pace, filling their toolbox with the instruments that are vital for their future. Creating this safe educational environment without sacrificing community values and traditions is the key for these kids, helping them to discover and grow their talents and capabilities. GY helps kids develop pride and confidence. More often than not, the kids are integrated into mainstream schools, and graduates go on to lead emotionally and academically healthy lives.

Jack Setton continues, “In 2008, Frieda Tawil, from the Sephardic Community Center and longtime Gesher Board Member, brought the Minister of Jewish Cultural Affairs from France to us because they wanted to improve upon their educational system. The French were dealing with a huge problem; when a child fell behind in school they would be placed in remedial school. The kids from the yeshivahs were ending up in public schools, and getting beat up by the Muslim students. The minister was in tears, but followed our lead, and implemented a similar program. They were so grateful, saying that talking with us was one of the most productive parts of their trip. We helped out a lot of schools around the country over the years, including yeshivahs from LA and Chicago that learned from our concept, curriculum, and syllabus. We are at the forefront of education, setting an example that communities all over the world can follow.”

Rebecca Harary, now President of Gesher, explains, “In Hebrew, Gesher means bridge—and that’s what we do. Through the customized curriculum, over time, we can bridge the learning gap and place the child back into a mainstream school on grade level. In our program the children become confident and empowered. They celebrate life, and approach their futures filled with love and self-esteem.”

THE HIGH SCHOOL

ack Setton continues, “In the beginning, I never imagined a high school. I never imagined that the need that was out there, but Joseph Beyda A”H, did. He recognized that kids who could not survive in our community schools were choosing York, Bay Ridge Prep, or other public high schools without religious background. He always had vision, and we followed his lead.”

In 2008, Yeshivah Prep High School was founded by Gesher Board Member Rebecca Harary, who established an association with Yeshivah of Flatbush High School.

Rabbi Sion Setton, principal, explains, “Our students receive a meaningful and differentiated education in a small class setting while joining the greater student body at YOF for prayers, extracurricular activities, seminars, and more. Yeshivah Prep students go on to continue their education in Kingsborough, Baruch, Binghamton, Brooklyn College, and even Israel. Additionally, they lead successful and spiritual lives both personally and professionally, with careers spanning the gamut from business to real estate, journalism, health care, culinary, cosmetology, and more. Our students are giving back to the community, and it’s beautiful. Being able to place your child in the most supportive environment, socially, emotionally and academically provides for the brightest future.”

THE MINDSET

Rabbi Eli Mansour, our Rosh Yeshiva has been working with Gesher for over 20 years. He explains, “Over the years you come to realize that individualized education is not something you dabble in. It’s intricate and complicated, and a full-time commitment to the quality of life of these amazing children. We’re dealing with a different type of child, so it’s a different approach. Gesher, which means bridge, is indeed the educational bridge that these children need to ultimately attend mainstream schools. Our teachers are extremely talented and hands on. The building is magnificent, and expanding. They’re doing an amazing job, and honestly, it’s a fact that if you don’t give the child what they need when they are young, you’ll be dealing with it forever. We’re so proud of every single graduate.”

Mrs. Deborah Katz, GY’s principal believes that any good school focuses on the basics, reading, writing and math, but at Gesher they are doing more, teaching organizational skills and responsibility, taking good midot and kindness to others seriously. Even with learning issues, students are taught to be proud of themselves, and that is the key. Dr. Eugene Miller, executive director, explains further, “What Gesher strives to do is to provide the best education for the children who need it. What we give a child is the ability to say ‘yes I can’. And if they say ‘yes I can,’ then they will. The classroom becomes kind of a magic place when you have the right therapeutic staff, and the children can blossom in ways a parent never imagined.”

THE ALUMNI

Joseph Sutton, Eileen’s grandson and Hofstra graduate, attended GY for 6th, 7th and 8th grades. On behalf of the school, Joseph spoke recently at Hathaway Shul, recalling his experience and the path they helped him forge. He said, “The brochure has all the buzzwords: i.e., small classrooms, individualized attention, certified special education teachers and occupational therapists, but in order to appreciate the school, you must first understand the student. He is born different, with a set of challenges that makes learning in a classroom more difficult, and society reminds him of this every other day. When he’s home he’s mocked by his siblings, either for taking medication in the morning, or because his mom has to talk to him at a slower pace. On Saturday his friends hide while he seeks, and they ultimately ditch him. And nobody at the Shabbat table pays attention when he speaks; ‘Tell me privately after dinner,’ his father would say. All of these little comments have a big impact, and by the time he gets to school Monday morning, his confidence is shot, and his self-esteem is reduced to zero.

“The teachers at GY know this, and it bothers them. They think about it on their drive-in, and race into the classroom Monday morning armed with an individual curriculum designed to focus on the child’s strengths instead of his weaknesses. Drawing organic confidence and building back self-respect, they use that momentum to help him retain other subjects. That’s their approach—developing—not teaching. They are able to have this approach because they know these kids, their parents, the shul they go to, the friends they want to have, and the friends they need to have. That’s why they put so much energy into the development of each student, not just so they get good grades, but so they get a job right out of college, find a spouse, and build a family.

“My problem wasn’t learning—I was actually an early bloomer, but when it came to organization I was lost and overwhelmed, and was often falling behind. In Gesher I got a clean slate. No one knew me, or who my parents were. I was in a class with ten kids, and they were just, nice. There was no crowd to chase; I could just be myself. My experience is not about what they did, it’s the environment they created. My teachers knew how and when to help me, teach me, and poke fun at me. Seeing them break from teaching and level with me and my friends in the classroom helped boost my confidence. They understood that if a kid doesn’t respond there are deeper issues that have to be solved. Their mindset was—you can’t take the car where you want to go if the engine isn’t even on.

“Not exactly ‘peaking’ socially, I sought out a new opportunity for the summer before 10th grade. Since I was a little kid with a globe in my room, I always wanted to travel. I found a summer travel camp and even though I didn’t know a single person there, I decided to go. I arrived at the airport and was shaking. It suddenly hit me that I had committed to six weeks with these kids. I closed my eyes and channeled my experience at Gesher when I entered a new environment with a clean slate. I decided to push through with this philosophy and quickly made friends with every camper before the plane took off. I learned a lesson at that moment that has stayed with me ever since. Be yourself and keep pushing, and whoever follows along, follows along. If you’re comfortable being who you are and things don’t go your way, you learn that it’s not you—its them.”

Joseph opened his speech with a quote, first coined by the director of marketing for Craftsman tools, “People don’t buy drills, they buy holes.” The message is to focus on the results. Gesher focuses on the results, and because of this foundation their graduates are able to thrive well after graduation.

THE FUTURE

Michael Cayre, along with Gesher Vice President Alan M. Maleh, and so many generous community donors are spearheading a capital campaign to meet the demanding needs of our community. Rebecca Harary said, “Looking forward, we want to service these kids in the best way possible, so we are excited to be expanding and enhancing Gesher to encompass an entire city block. Our plans include doubling the total number of available classrooms, building a state-of-the-art therapy center, auditorium, lunchroom, computer room, and Beit HaMidrash. We are adding an early childhood learning center, and additionally, an enclosed rooftop playground. There will be an experiential learning kitchen, science room, woodworking room, and student library. All of this excellence will be paired with our commitment to the pure principles of our heritage, avoiding the negative messages present in so many non-community schools. With positive reinforcement we hope to help our students to succeed across all aspects of their lives.”

Gesher Yehuda believes in breaking down the obstacles that stand between students achieving their fullest potential. Every child deserves that opportunity, and GY is the best at their game. With the new building and services, those opportunities will grow exponentially. Gesher administrators help parents with the evaluation process, from the application language, to DOE meetings. They inform parents of deadlines, and develop payment plans to suit their needs. They become a partner with both parent and child, the whole way through. Children are like sponges. Whatever effort you put in, you surely get out.

Claude Setton concludes, “We owe this community so much for always stepping up to support the children of Gesher. There are so many people to thank, from the amazing women who worked tirelessly at our bake sales to our incredible donors and all the amazing people who served on our board all these years. This school is magical. The kids come in insecure, with their heads down, and walk out like shining stars. I know that G-d is watching over us.” Jack, resolute all these years, continues, “When we started this, we had no idea how it was going to grow and blossom. You do the work, and you never know who is going to reap the benefits in the end. What always struck me is our community’s willingness to help all the kids. Kol echad, b’lev echad. (We are all together, with one heart.)”

THROUGH THE YEARS

Sophia Franco, 54, is a mom and grandmother who has been feeding her love of reading and writing for as long as she can remember through poetry, community journalism, and songwriting. She has written many songs with Yaakov Shwekey but the first, I Can Be, has become an anthem for the Special Children’s Center and the community at large.