I have often thought about the irony that for every job, from the most simple to the most dignified, there is an application process that leads to either approval or rejection. Yet the most auspicious role we will ever assume, involving enormous responsibilities whose effects transcend generations, requires no interviews, no qualifications and no formal training. This is the awesome role of motherhood.
Parenting begins from the time a child is born. The earliest years of life are especially important for receiving a strong foundation for future mental health. According to psychologist Erik Erikson, children develop after passing through various stages of psychosocial growth, each one exhibiting a unique combination of needs and vulnerabilities. When, for example, a child’s cries of distress are soothed and comforted, or when a child feels safe and protected from harm, human trust develops, affording the child the future capacity to love—and to invest emotionally in others. When a child is encouraged to master the skills appropriate to his age, he develops self-confidence. The experience of success in social relationships can determine how he will relate to his future world. It is during the formative years, when physical and emotional needs are met by attentive and loving parents, that vital human qualities such as trust and self-esteem develop.
Good parenting can set the tone for a child’s entire life. The most basic of our responsibilities as parents are to keep our children safe and healthy to the best of our abilities. But a child’s emotional well-being is just as vital as his physical well-being. It is important to make yourself emotionally available to your children—to hold onto their feelings and let them know that you are there for them as you provide support and encouragement for their journey through the vicissitudes of life. An emotionally healthy child who is happy, self-confident and secure is often so because of healthy parenting. Good parenting also includes recognition of the warning signs that children display when they are emotionally shut down. Behavioral acting out, including inflicting harm on themselves and others, can be a red flag for depression or other psychological conditions.
The most effective parent is the one who is keenly aware of her child’s needs and possesses the skills to teach her child how to master life’s challenges to become a functioning, well-adjusted and successful adult. Good parenting involves many complex skills and is no small task, but the rewards are beyond measure.
The Mental Health Resource, which is a division of Sephardic Bikur Holim, offers mothers an opportunity to acquire these invaluable skills, as well as a forum in which to discuss the challenges we face while raising children in a very complex world. Our goal is to help you establish a home environment in which your children can flourish and develop a lifetime of confidence and emotional health to pass on to our future generations.
Positive parenting classes at SBH will consist of six consecutive weekly sessions beginning on Wednesday, November 5, 2008, from 1 to 2 pm at the SBH building, 425 Kings Highway. There is a fee of $26 for the entire series. Please call Laurie at (718) 787-1100 to register. We look forward to welcoming you all.
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Bruria Kleinman is a mother of six grown children and holds an MSW from New York University. She led a well-received parenting class this past year and has been a member of the professional staff at SBH since 2006.
