THE CENTER OF THE WORLD

FOR PARENTS WITH CHILDREN OF SPECIAL NEEDS, IT’S IMPOSSIBLE TO IMAGINE A WORLD WITHOUT THE SPECIAL CHILDREN’S CENTER. SINCE THE FIRST VOLUNTEERS BEGAN REACHING OUT IN 1996, THE PROGRAMS AND SERVICES CENTER OFFERS HAVE BEEN A GAME CHANGER FOR CHILDREN WITH COMPLEX DEVELOPMENTAL DISABILITIES AND THEIR FAMILIES.

Chaya Bender and Jenine Shwekey are the women who started it all and are the most public faces of the Center today. “We never envisioned the size and scope of the Special Children’s Center,” said Chaya.

Jenine Shwekey clarified. “We were kids. It wasn’t our plan.”

Chaya added, “We came across people who needed help and we helped.”

They couldn’t believe what was going on behind closed doors of families with special needs children. They met overwhelmed parents, neglected siblings, and lonely special children, all in need of extra helping hands and communal caring. Families were struggling to cope and fighting a losing battle.

Back then, having special children was seen as a stigma by too many people, and the struggling families suffered the fallout. Chaya remembered an incident where a mother insisted that Chaya call when she arrived so she could make sure that her neighbors weren’t outside.

What a tremendous contrast to 2023, when hundreds of girls are on a waiting list to work at the Children’s Special Center and the Deal Camp. Hundreds more dedicated volunteers willingly give up their entire Sundays for the children. Volunteers and kids alike proudly wear Center T-shirts and sweatshirts. It’s incredible to see communities and families embrace and “adopt” children with special needs as their own! Today, the Center proudly services over seven hundred special needs children and adults, across their locations in New Jersey, Deal, Brooklyn, and Long Island.

And the dreams continue! After 10 amazing years in Brooklyn, The Brooklyn Center will finally get a state-of-the-art home of their own! Thanks to Alex and Harry Adjmi and Jack Scaba a property was located — 2990 Avenue U! The purchase was made possible by Marilyn and Jouky Chehebar who have been there for the Center since the first day. The Marliyn & Jouky Chehebar Brooklyn Building is currently finished with the interior demolition and is awaiting renovations. The Center needs your help to make sure that every child with special needs in Brooklyn has a magnificent building where they can spend their days.

Originally, Jenine and her friends, all high school girls, would run from one family to the next to help care for the special children and lighten the load for the parents. But they knew this wasn’t sustainable and were determined to find a central place for the kids to come to. They found an apartment and approached a rabbi for help to make it happen and he presented their idea to a potential donor. They were excited and passionate, and their pitch seemed to have made a powerful impression. The potential donor said, “It’s heartbreaking,” however, he said to the rabbi, “next time, come to me with older girls who have degrees in their hands and can actually do big things. Don’t come to me with little kids.”

Hearing these words, the young girls weren’t dejected, but rather empowered. Heading to the landlord of the apartment they wanted for “their kids,” owned by Mr. and Mrs. Michael and Pearl Herzog, Chaya and Jenine related what had happened. “Girls,” Mr. Herzog said, as he turned to the drawer and took out the keys, “it’s all yours.”

That was it — the Center’s first home. Although they moved at least ten times afterwards, and not every space they used was optimal, that apartment was a truly meaningful start. Next, they got a house, a setup that would last them a while. When they had outgrown the house, the township in New Jersey granted them an acre of land for one dollar. All they needed was a building! Jacob Mermelstein, of Ray Builders was introduced to the Center and a lifetime friendship was formed! He had an idea to do a barn-raising with each vendor donating their trade. The girls sat with the board members Harry Adjmi, Richie Dweck and Elliot Tawil, and they said “let’s make this happen.” Their outpouring of support and love has made a huge difference and continues to do so — 20 years later!

In the beginning, people would make supper for ten, fifteen, then twenty kids. Then volunteers would pick up the meals. While some things do change, and they’ve grown a lot since then, some things remain the same. A longtime friend of the Center, Esther Arking, still coordinates the food for the volunteers on Sunday and it’s all donated by local vendors.

Originally, the Center offered respite to the families twice a week, after school. Then they went up to three, four, five days a week. Now the center covers literally every day that a child is not in school. Every day after school, every Sunday, every legal holiday when their regular schools are closed, holiday trips, mid-winter trips and Shabbats.

Chaya set the scene: “Children finish school at 2:30. The schedules are impossible — they’re off more days than in school. How can a mother hold a job? Families were falling apart. They needed something they could rely on.”

“Everything the Center does is with two goals in mind: First, the families should be able to function. The parents and siblings should be able to live regular, normal lives. We want them to know we will be there for them, and they will be okay. Second, we want to give the special kids a Center, a place that belongs to them, a place with friends and understanding, and most of all, a place where they know, they can be anything.

To that end, the Center offers extensive support for families to help relieve the inevitable stressors they encounter. The after-school program offers a well-structured and packed schedule of learning and fun in a calm and supportive atmosphere. Run by a cadre of professionals with years of experience, the program includes a full Jewish learning curriculum for after public school, a drama program where children are introduced to and taught performing arts, a literacy program, a sensory program, a science program, and more.

It’s important to understand what an undertaking this is. Every child’s individual dietary needs are met. Every child gets the attention he or she needs to make sure dinner is eaten; some children might need forty-five minutes of careful feeding. After this comes time in the bathing spa. The Center offers haircuts every four weeks provided by volunteer barbers and hairdressers. The children go home fed, bathed, in pajamas, and ready to be embraced by their loving families.

And if the families face even more extenuating circumstances, there is a Center house with sleep-over options. A child spending the night outside the home once or twice a week allows the parents to schedule appointments and play dates for other children in the family, and often, just time to breathe. As for the Shabbat option, every Shabbat, the facility is filled to capacity. Just knowing this is available to parents, is a help for them.

A parent called the Center from New York inquiring about sleep-over options. “Wasn’t there even one facility in New York that offered overnights?” was the reply. “Yes,” replied the parent, “but they only take kids who sleep through the night.”

“Those parents take priority?” wondered Chaya. Who needs the help? Who can’t get a babysitter? “We get the kids who won’t sleep through the night, who can’t be with other kids. We deal with the hardest of the hard.”

The Center also deals with some of the hardest times of the year: the gap time before and after camp. These are hectic days with no school coverage, days filled with errands and appointments, getting other children ready for sleepaway camp, and doing back-to-school shopping. Imagine adding a special needs child to the mix. The Center offers the children structure with a full-day program, with a dedicated staff, from the day after school ends the day camp begins, and from the day after camp ends until the first day of school. Center Camp provides six weeks of fun for the children who don’t have a school program during the summer! The volunteers give up their days and weeks to give love, fun, and structure to the children who wait for camp all year round.

The Center’s mission is to keep kids at home with their families, but as the kids age, they have social needs that might not be met. To that end, the Center offers residential services. They opened the first kosher group homes in New Jersey. Jenine Shwekey said, “These kids thrive. They live with goals, they live in the community, their families are part of their lives.”

The Center’s yearly budget is $16 million, of which $11 million is covered by the state. They may need to raise $5 million a year but they won’t use those numbers as baselines to determine what services a child will be given. While the Center will bill for whatever services they can, it’s all hesed. Jenine and Yaakov Shwekey make it very clear.

Chaya told the story of a very difficult child they were working with in Brooklyn. The staff was struggling to help with his extreme behaviors, so they added a second personal aid and then brought in a BCBA therapist. Six months later he is independent and so proud of himself. The mother marveled at how far the Center was willing to go for her child, after other programs he attended threw him out once they got the maximum billing they could get for him.

Their big budget comes with other big numbers: 380+ staff, 700+ volunteers and 850 children and their families serviced by the Center.

But Chaya was emphatic on one point. “Even as we grow, we maintain the same family mindset we started with. We never become big and industrialized. The parents and staff are family to us.”

Chaya and Jenine’s optimism and willingness to help anyone shines through so strong.

Does the weight on their shoulders ever get them down? “We don’t live our lives like that,” Jenine said. “We live on the high energy of what we’re doing, the happiness we’re bringing, the lives we’re changing. We focus on our dreams, what we still want to accomplish. We just live our vision.”