How many times have you heard, “Kids of today aren’t as respectful as we used to be.” Or, "You can’t get kids of today to do this or that." Are children of today really ill-behaved? The important questions are: “How important is respect? And how can we teach it to our children?”
What is Respect?
It’s showing that another person is important by our words and actions. Respect causes us to show consideration for others as well as to hold them in good regard.
Why is Respect So Important for Our Children to Learn?
People usually think about how something will benefit them. There’s always the thought of “What’s in it for me?” Of course, there are some things that we should practice not just for our own benefit, but because it’s the right thing to do. Respect is one of those things. However, it has enormous benefits for us as parents.
King Solomon said, “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.”
Whatever good or bad traits are developed in children will affect every relationship they have, including their relationship with you. If you don’t teach your kids respect for others, they will eventually disrespect you. But if you do teach it to them, you will enjoy the benefits for yourself and society in general will be better off.
The question is: How do you teach your kids respect for others? Parents have been doing it for a long time. Here are six ways that are sure to help.
1. Do as I Do
Children learn from the example shown to them. They learn mostly by observation. They copy what they see and hear. A two-year old, for example, is at that stage where they echo anything they hear someone else say. Sometimes they even imitate others word-for-word and step-by-step. Children under five are mirrors of their environment. This means that if you want to teach your children respect, you must show others respect.
2. Do as I Say
‘Do as I say’ will be better received after ‘Do as I do’ has been taken care of. We still need to teach them verbally. There are some things that children won’t know are right or wrong unless they are told. For example, they won’t know that it isn’t good manners to point at people, unless you tell them. Or, they won’t know that it’s good to stand up for an elderly, disabled or pregnant woman on the bus unless you tell them. This is particularly true if you normally drive them around in a car. If you have taught them beforehand, on those occasions when they might have to take public transportation, they will remember and act accordingly.
3. Show Them Respect
Respect is not only about showing people who are older than you regard, it’s about establishing in your child’s mind the dignity of the human person: Young or old; rich or poor; upwardly mobile or down and out. When you say “please” to your children, they get to experience firsthand how respect feels. When you apologize for a mistake you’ve made, your willingness to humble yourself because you respect them helps them to see how important respect is, especially because it’s been directed at them. Because they’ve been recipients of respect, they’re more willing to show it.
4. Teach Them at an Early Age
People say that after a child has reached the age of five, it’s difficult to teach them manners or respect. But even if they are older, you can still teach them its importance. However, if you start teaching them about respect and good manners from the time they’re about one year old, you make things a lot easier for them and for you.
5. Negative and Positive Responses
Learn to show disapproval when they talk to people disrespectfully. Some parents laugh it off, out of embarassment, when their kids have been rude or disrespectful. However, it is important to reprimand your children when they’re disrespectful or express your disapproval or disappointment about their behavior. But that is not all you should do. Parents may develop a tendency only to rebuke and correct and never express approval or appreciation. When they act properly, always show appreciation or approval of their actions. Praise is always effective in getting them to repeat good actions.
6. Monitor Their Environment
You may not be able to control what other people do outside of your house, but you should try to control what happens in your own home. When people come to your house, let them know that bad manners and foul language are strongly discouraged because you don’t want your children to pick up these habits.
