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Rabbi Dr. Raymond Harari, z”l His Legacy Lives On

Rabbi Joseph Beyda

In the early morning hours of October 30, 2024, the Jewish community lost one of its most precious gems. Rabbi Raymond Harari served a variety of roles in the Syrian Jewish Community including Head of School at the Yeshivah of Flatbush Joel Braverman High School and as the Head Rabbi of Congregation Mikdash Eliyahu. He was also part of the rabbinical staff of Ohel Yishak in Allenhurst, NJ and previously served as the spiritual leader of Congregation Bnei Shaare Zion and Congregation Kol Israel.

A humble man, Rabbi Raymond Harari z”l was one of the world’s greatest Torah teachers. Thousands, if not more, learned from him and virtually all would testify that they cherished the experience. An untold number of his students were inspired and uplifted to become Torah teachers themselves. A substantial number of those teachers have grown into master teachers in their own right, expanding by many multiples the influence Rabbi Harari has had. Developing teachers were often advised to “go watch Rabbi Harari” so they could witness his technical mastery of the art of teaching in a classroom.

Following in the tradition of the Rambam, Rabbi Harari believed and lived the idea that silence is golden and that one should be as clear and concise as possible. This created the space that allowed people to learn lessons from him by watching and observing how he conducted himself. He understood that people learn more from one’s actions than words and set a sterling example of what the Torah asks us to be.

Rabbi Jonathan Sacks wrote that “Listening is a profoundly spiritual act, the greatest gift we can give to another human being,” and Rabbi Harari’s humility made him an outstanding listener. In every interaction, he made sure others had the space they needed to express themselves safely. He took in their words but also sensed their emotions–he knew where they were at. Consequently, he was loved by all. Only after listening and processing, would he offer his opinion, choosing his words carefully and always delivered with grace–generating a feeling of dignity for the other person.

Rabbi Harari’s warmth and empathy did not detract from his strong convictions; he always made clear where he stood. Likewise, his physical strength and commitment were legendary. During the Covid-19 pandemic, Rabbi Harari was forbidden by his doctors from entering the school building. Undaunted, a tent was pitched outside the school in which he taught his Gemara (Talmud) class. Despite the need to brave the elements, his students loved the experience – even in sub-freezing temperatures.

Rabbi Harari was a deeply spiritual person with a deep connection to Hashem. His tefillot (prayers) and shofar blowing on Yom Kippur were memorable for the many congregants he led. Frequently, he would make time for students, individually and in groups, to discuss religious, philosophical and theological issues. He was staunchly traditional, knowledgeable and committed to minhag (custom), yet open to innovation at the same time.

However, what truly set Rabbi Harari apart was his vision. He had a rare ability to see the potential in students, teachers and people that few if any others could. It was an acquired skill, something he worked on and honed. In particular, he believed strongly in educational opportunities for women. One of his proudest accomplishments was that one of his female students became the leading teacher of Daf Yomi (Talmud page of the day) for women with over 3,000 daily listeners.

Although he wore many hats – communal rabbi, head of school, counselor – Rabbi Harari referred to himself simply as a “teacher”. In his close to 70 years, he fulfilled this role to the fullest and it is now up to his many students to follow in his ways and continue his legacy.

Yeshivah of Flatbush

“My relationship with Rabbi Raymond Harari goes back for almost two decades, and his influence has been deeply impactful. Both of my daughters were inspired by his Gemara teachings, which they say transformed their lives and helped guide them toward successful paths. As a Yeshivah of Flatbush alumnus, I’ve seen the lasting effect of his wisdom firsthand. The gift he gave my daughters surpasses even what I received, and his ability to inspire across generations is truly remarkable. Rabbi Harari’s teachings continue to shape our family’s journey, and his legacy will stay with us for years to come.”

-Ralph Shamah, President, Yeshivah of Flatbush

Rabbi Joseph Beyda is the Yeshivah of Flatbush Joel Braverman High School Head of School

SBH Celebrates 50 Amazing Years and 10 Incredible Presidents

Sarah Dabbah

How do you celebrate an organization that has helped literally thousands of community members? Or recognize individuals who donated years of their life to be at its helm? On Monday, November 18th, hundreds of supporters gathered to celebrate the 50th Anniversary of SBH by honoring the past and current presidents of the organization.

Congregation Shaare Zion was full of the men and women who each played a part in building SBH into what it is today, including the 10 past and current presidents: Fred Bijou, Dr. Robert Matalon, Joseph D. Beyda a”h, Dr. Mayer Ballas, Sam Sutton, Jeffrey Gindi, Victor Grazi, M.D., Lee M. Cohen, Jack A. Aini, and David J. Beyda.

M.C. Marshall Mizrahi began by introducing SBH President David J. Beyda who kicked off the evening giving each of the presidents a round of applause. Rabbi Benhaim led a very special Hamotzi (blessing of the bread) before Rabbi Eli Mansour took the stage. The rabbi so eloquently shared how SBH helped shape him from his days as a volunteer for holiday packaging during his youth.

After watching a beautiful video tribute to our presidents (available on @sbh_updates Instagram page), former SBH Board Member Rabbi Ozeri took the stage to speak about the selfless dedication it takes to take on the role of president as well as the dedication of our board members and captains. Honorary Board Member Ronnie Tawil then had the privilege to present each president with their award, as well as Mrs. Barbara Beyda who accepted it on behalf of her husband Joseph Beyda a”h. It was truly incredible to see all of these giants together on one stage for probably the first time ever, standing in unison.

President David Beyda took the stage again to share just how much SBH has grown over the last 50 years. “With Hashem’s help, the strength of the community, our dedicated volunteers and staff
SBH will continue to grow, to serve, and to rise to every challenge,” said David. “Because the spirit of service, the commitment to each other is in our DNA and is who we are,” he continued. David touched on some of the many advancements SBH has made over the last several decades, including a full-blown counseling center, the work of our Fertility Division, and announced Lev Hatikvah, a new program that addresses the needs of widows and orphans in the community. David then announced SBH’s big plans for growing its footprint: a complete two-story renovation to the flagship on Kings Highway and the purchase of a new facility for the Tawil Family Jersey Branch.

Equipped with more knowledge of the breadth and depth of SBH’s many, many services, M.C. Marshall Mizrahi showed our audience just how many different people mobilize to help every single client. Through a vignette that demonstrated SBH’s comprehensive holistic approach to serving its clients. Many audience members were left in awe as he took us through a mock case that ended with over two dozen professionals and volunteers involved in helping get that client back on her feet.

Following a video showcasing how we are the ‘Building Our Future’, SBH VP Eddie Rishty presented Charles Anteby with a beautiful award to mark 15 years of his unwavering dedication to the organization and most notably our youth! Rabbi Meyer Yedid then shared his gratitude to SBH who helped him and his family when they arrived to the country.

The night closed with a very special note – literally. We were treated to the world debut of ‘By Your Side’ which was written exclusively for SBH’s 50th featuring community creatives Abe Heaney, Irv Safdieh, Ralph Hanan, Isaac Silvera, Sam Tawil, Albert Ashkenazi and Marshall Mizrahi (also available on our Instagram @sbh_updates!). It truly was an incredible night that left so many motivated to volunteer, support and celebrate SBH!

DSN BEACH CLUB HOSTS “SIP, SAVOR, AND SUPPORT: A TASTE OF ISRAEL” TO SUPPORT ISRAEL

On a beautiful fall evening, DSN Beach Club demonstrated its unwavering support for Israel with a sophisticated and impactful event titled “Sip, Savor, and Support: A Taste of Israel.” Held at TEVA, DSN’s flagship restaurant, the evening was a true celebration of Israeli culture, TEVA cuisine, and community spirit.

In partnership with Shira Granot, affectionately known as the “wine fairy”, DSN collaborated with the Israel Wine Collection to showcase five renowned Israeli wineries: Agur, Dalton, Drimia, Matar, and Tulip. The event featured over 12 exquisite wines, paired perfectly with Teva Chef Valerio’s mouth-watering culinary creations. Each wine tasting was a journey through Israel’s diverse wine regions, highlighting the obstacles, resilience and creativity of the Israeli people.

As guests mingled and enjoyed the fine wine and delicious food, Shira Granot addressed the crowd, reflecting on the profound impact of the events of October 7 and the ongoing war on Israel’s wineries, lands, people, and businesses. Her heartfelt words resonated deeply with the over 200 attendees, who were eager to show their solidarity and support for Israel’s wine industry during these challenging times. Chuck Mamiye, a committee host for the evening, noted “One year into the war in Gaza, Israel’s wine industry has been heavily impacted since the events of October 7th. Vineyards have been bombed, harvests ruined, and many families’ livelihoods threatened. Despite these hardships, inspiring stories of resilience have emerged from this sector. It’s crucial to remember the sacrifices made by Israeli farms and vineyards. I’m incredibly proud of our community’s dedication to supporting the Israeli wine industry and of DSN’s ongoing commitment to hosting these supportive events.”

To make a tangible difference, attendees were also provided with QR codes, enabling them to purchase wines directly from these featured wineries. This initiative not only supported Israeli businesses but also allowed community members to bring a taste of Israel into their homes.

Adding to the evening’s warmth and elegance, Alexis Cohen, a community member and exceptional baker, generously donated a selection of desserts to complement TEVA’s new fall offerings. The beautiful floral arrangements by Victoria Mamiye and Privet further enhanced the sophisticated atmosphere, while Almar Party Rental ensured the setup was flawless.

The ambiance was elevated even further by the soulful music of Israel Portnoy, whose live performance of Israeli songs, accompanied by his guitar, added a deeply emotional and authentic touch to the evening.

Jamie Dweck, an esteemed photographer in the community, captured the essence of the event, preserving the memories of a night filled with unity, support, and celebration.

Shira Granot said “I want to extend my heartfelt gratitude for the incredible event you organized and for the beautiful work you are doing. It was an absolute pleasure to work with DSN and was truly curated to perfection! It was more than just an event; it was an opportunity to connect with your warm community, which was a real privilege. This event was incredibly meaningful for the wine industry, the opportunity to share their stories and the support you have shown is a game changer in ways I can’t describe. Seeing our shared goals come to life was truly rewarding.” The success of “Sip, Savor, and Support” is a testament to DSN Beach Club’s ongoing commitment to supporting Israel and its people. Through events like these, the Jersey Shore community not only stands in solidarity with Israel, but also actively contributes to its resilience and recovery, one sip and one step at a time.

Year-End Financial Planning Setting Yourself Up for a Great 2025

hand flipping block 2024 to 2025 text on table. Resolution, strategy, plan, goal, motivation, reboot, business and New Year holiday concepts

Ari Baum, CFPÂź

AS RUNNERS KNOW, EVERY GREAT RACE STARTS WITH PREPARATION, PACING, AND THE RIGHT STRATEGY. THE SAME PRINCIPLES APPLY TO FINANCIAL PLANNING, ESPECIALLY AS WE APPROACH THE FINISH LINE OF 2024. JUST LIKE A WELL-RUN MARATHON SETS THE STAGE FOR YOUR NEXT PERSONAL BEST, A DISCIPLINED APPROACH TO YEAR-END FINANCIAL PLANNING CAN POSITION YOU FOR SUCCESS IN 2025 AND BEYOND.

Whether you’re a seasoned investor or just getting started, this guide will help you fine-tune your financial strategy for the year ahead.

Assess Your Financial Mileage

Before planning for the future, take a moment to reflect on the past year. Just as runners review their splits to identify strengths and weaknesses, you should evaluate your financial progress.

‱ Review your budget: How well did you stick to your spending plan? Were there unexpected expenses that threw you off course?

‱ Check your savings: Have you met or exceeded your emergency fund and retirement goals?

‱ Analyze your investments: Are they aligned with your long-term objectives, or do adjustments need to be made?

Use this time to celebrate your wins while identifying areas for improvement. Remember, every financial decision, like every mile run, contributes to the bigger picture.

Maximize Retirement Contributions

In running, fueling properly ensures peak performance. Similarly, maximizing contributions to retirement accounts is essential for financial health. Before year-end, consider contributing the maximum allowable amount to accounts such as:

‱ 401(k)s: The 2024 contribution limit is $23,000, with an additional $7,500 catch-up contribution for those aged 50 or older.

‱ IRAs: You can contribute up to $6,500 ($7,500 for those 50+) for 2024.

Making these contributions not only boosts your future savings but may also reduce your taxable income for the current year. It’s like finding a downhill stretch in a race—an opportunity to gain momentum.

Evaluate Tax Strategies

Tax planning is like choosing the most efficient route during a long run. By navigating opportunities wisely, you can reach your goals with less effort.

‱ Tax-loss harvesting: If you’ve experienced investment losses this year, consider selling underperforming assets to offset capital gains. This strategy can lower your tax liability while freeing up capital for reinvestment.

‱ Charitable contributions: Donations to qualifying charities can provide valuable tax deductions. To maximize impact, consider gifting appreciated stocks, which allows you to avoid capital gains taxes while benefiting the organization.

‱ Flexible spending accounts (FSAs): Ensure you use any remaining FSA funds by the deadline, as many plans have a “use it or lose it” policy.

Consulting with a tax professional can help you fine-tune these strategies and identify additional opportunities tailored to your situation.

Rebalance Your Portfolio

Experienced runners adjust their pace based on terrain and conditions, and you should do the same with your investment portfolio. Over the year, market fluctuations may have shifted your asset allocation. For example:

‱ If stocks have outperformed, your portfolio might be overweight in equities, exposing you to unnecessary risk.

‱ If bonds or other defensive assets are underweighted, you may lack the stability needed to weather market volatility.

Rebalancing ensures your portfolio remains aligned with your risk tolerance and long-term goals. It’s a critical step in maintaining financial endurance.

Plan for Charitable Giving

Giving back can be as rewarding as crossing a finish line after months of training. If you’re planning to make donations, year-end is the perfect time to finalize your charitable contributions.

‱ Donor-advised funds (DAFs): These accounts allow you to contribute now for an immediate tax benefit while deciding later which charities to support.

‱ Qualified charitable distributions (QCDs): If you’re 70œ or older, you can donate directly from your IRA to a charity, reducing your taxable income.

Charitable giving doesn’t just help others; it also aligns your financial plan with your personal values, adding purpose to your journey.

Fine-Tune Your Financial Goals

The end of the year is an ideal time to revisit your financial goals, just as runners set their sights on new races and personal records.

‱ Short-term goals: Are you saving for a vacation, home renovation, or other major purchase? Create a realistic timeline and funding strategy.

‱ Medium-term goals: Plan for milestones like a child’s education or buying a home. Consider investing in a 529 plan or other targeted accounts.

‱ Long-term goals: Retirement remains the ultimate “marathon” for most people. Ensure your contributions and investment strategies are sufficient to cross the finish line comfortably.

By aligning your financial goals with your values, you’ll stay motivated and focused, even when the road gets tough.

Prepare for 2025 Tax Changes

Tax laws, like race conditions, can change unexpectedly. Familiarize yourself with any updates for 2025, such as new tax brackets or deduction limits.

‱ Standard deduction: Know how adjustments will affect your filing status.

‱ Child tax credits: Ensure you’re maximizing available benefits.

‱ State and local taxes (SALT): If you’re in a high-tax state, explore ways to manage your liability.

Proactively preparing for these changes can save time and stress during tax season, allowing you to focus on more rewarding aspects of your financial plan.

Strengthen Your Financial Habits

Consistency is key in running and financial planning. Establish routines that will carry you through 2025 and beyond:

‱ Automate savings and investments to build wealth effortlessly.

‱ Schedule quarterly financial check-ins to track progress and make adjustments.

‱ Stay informed by reading financial news and attending educational workshops.

Just as consistent training leads to race-day success, disciplined financial habits will help you achieve your goals over time.

Work with a Financial Advisor

Even the most seasoned runners benefit from coaching. A financial advisor can provide expert guidance tailored to your unique situation. From crafting a year-end tax strategy to optimizing your investments, their insights can help you stay on track and avoid costly missteps.

Crossing the Finish Line

Year-end financial planning may seem daunting, but with the right mindset, it’s an opportunity to position yourself for a fantastic 2025. By assessing your progress, maximizing opportunities, and refining your goals, you’ll build the financial endurance needed to achieve all that is meaningful to you and your loved ones.

Just as every mile run brings you closer to the finish line, each financial decision you make sets you up for a brighter future. Lace up, plan well, and prepare to start the new year strong. q

The content is developed from sources believed to provide accurate information. Investing involves risk including the potential loss of principal. No investment strategy can guarantee a profit or protect against loss in periods of declining values. Past performance does not guarantee future results. Consult with a financial professional regarding your specific situation.

Ari Baum, CFPÂź is the Founder and CEO of Endurance Wealth Partners, with over 25 years of experience in the Financial Services industry. He brings his in-depth experience to Conceive. Believe. Achieve. for his clients.

Securities and Advisory services offered through Prospera Financial Services Inc. Member FINRA/SIPC. Brokerage and Advisory accounts carried by Wells Fargo Clearing Services, LLC.

10 Years of CARE

Reflecting on a Decade of Love, Growth, and Support for Children with Special Needs and their Families

One evening in early 2014, over a dinner that would prove to be life-changing, Meyer and Victoria Safdieh sat with activist Michael Wahba. As parents raising three special children, Meyer and Victoria saw firsthand the unmet needs in the community and expressed a deep concern: “The community does not have enough support for children with special needs.” Watching families struggle with limited resources, that evening the seeds of CARE were planted.

Meyer and Victoria began meeting with other families who also had children with special needs, listening to their stories, their struggles, and their hopes. It was a mission to ensure no family would ever feel alone in navigating this path.

CARE started 10 years ago as a small network of eight families navigating the overwhelming world of special needs. For many, finding support, resources, and understanding felt like an impossible task. But when Meyer and Victoria Safdieh founded CARE, they weren’t just creating an organization—they were creating a lifeline, a place where families could be seen and understood, in moments of both joy and struggle.

Today, CARE serves over 600 families, each unique, each vital to our community and has become the vital hub and the only place families in our community with special needs children turn to for guidance, support, hope and strength.

The journey over the past decade has been one of constant growth and adaptation, as CARE expanded to meet the diverse needs of children with special needs. What began with a few families has blossomed into a comprehensive network of support that reaches far beyond what could have ever been imagined in those early days.

One of CARE’s first initiatives was the creation of sibling support. CARE introduced dedicated programs to make sure siblings felt seen and supported as integral members of the family journey. Today, the sibling support programs includes weekly Sib-Shops providing outlets for bonding and fun—a space for siblings to feel they have a community too. Soon after, CARE began to focus on family and community and began to launch many events and gatherings. These gatherings became spaces where children could connect, share experiences, and find understanding from others walking similar paths. CARE’s community events skillfully integrate the special needs community and the community at large.

CARE’s support does not stop with children and siblings. Over the years, CARE developed a range of parent support programs, nights out and events, creating a haven for parents to unwind, to be heard, and to gain strength from each other. Led by CARE’s founder, Victoria Safdieh, and CARE advisor Rachel Mitrani, our weekly mom support group has become a cornerstone for many of our mothers, helping them navigate the complexities and beauty of raising children with special needs. Each week, parents come together to share triumphs, challenges, and a good laugh, finding community, advice, and friendship.

One of CARE’s major milestones was the opening of the in-house therapy clinic, which currently provides over 50 therapy sessions per week for CARE siblings and parents. This space is dedicated to supporting families with the highest level of care, featuring social workers and professionals that provide vital emotional support for the entire family.

As CARE expanded, the need to do more for teens with autism grew, which led to the launch of the Autism Initiative. This program provides a weekly social group for teen boys, offering them a safe, supportive space to build friendships, develop social skills, and enjoy meaningful activities. Each week, the boys grow in confidence and independence, a testament to what can be accomplished when teens with special needs are given the right support.

In the past year, CARE’s growth continued with the opening of a neuro-screening center and, most recently, the launch of CARE’s Deal branch, bringing essential programs and services to even more families.

CARE’s founders- Michael Wahba, Meyer and Victoria Safdieh, recently reflected on the accomplishments and progress of CARE. “Looking back on these last 10 years, we are filled with gratitude for every family who has joined CARE and allowed us to be a part of their lives, to the entire CARE staff that is available at all hours for the families, and of course for our dear friends and supporters,” said Meyer.

“CARE has become what it is today because of its foundation of strength, compassion and love. We are more than just an organization; we are a community, a family, a source of comfort and hope,” said Victoria.

From the first eight families to over 600 today, from special needs programs to regional expansion, CARE’s journey has only just begun! “To every family who has walked with us, thank you for your trust and for letting us be part of your lives,” said Michael.

As CARE looks forward to the next decade, they are committed Be’ezrat Hashem to grow, to adapt, and to reach more families that have a child with special needs, because to CARE, at the heart of it all is one mission: every child and every family, deserves to feel supported and loved. q

Read Jewish Image Magazine Online – December 2024

December 2024 Jewish Image Magazine

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A Letter to the Editor Re: Education

Dear Editor,

The greatest breach of our constitutional right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness is government control of education.
Government has indoctrinated generations of Americans into accepting top-down, socialist-type government,
the coddling of vicious criminals and terrorists, along with decreased liberties and protections for law abiding citizens.

The new 114th Congress can set our nation on the path to Constitutional Government by sponsoring and passing
the proposed D.C. Civil Rights Act for Equal Educational Opportunity,
which can be found at the website of Alliance for Free Choice in Education.

http://allianceforfreechoiceineducation.com/

This will allow DC parents to send their children to approved nonpublic schools of their choice,
at half current costs! This will also serve as a model and trail blazer for all 50 states.

Please call your Congressman in Washington, at 202-224-3121,
to urge sponsorship of the bill, and ask your contacts to do the same.

Israel Teitelbaum, Secretary
Alliance for Free Choice in Education

226 Sussex Avenue
Morristown, NJ 07960
973-820-6121

Restoring The Great Synagogue of Aleppo

One of the recent initiatives of the Sephardic Heritage Museum has been overseeing and funding the restoration of the Great Synagogue of Aleppo. According to legend, the foundation for this holy place of worship was constructed by King David’s General, Joab Ben Zeruyah (circa 950 BCE), after he conquered the city. Visitors throughout the centuries were impressed by its beauty. An Italian nobleman, Pietro della Valle, who visited the synagogue on August 23, 1625, wrote, “The synagogue of the Jews of Aleppo is known for its beauty and antiquity.”

For 3,000 years this synagogue has been a silent witness to our illustrious community’s steady growth, yet ultimately has been left standing alone as our entire community of over 25,000 emigrated from the area over the course of the past century.

Unfortunately the synagogue was severely damaged in a 1947 riot, but rebuilt again by Murad Guindi, Albert Nakash and Jack Chakalo in the 1980’s. Sadly, the recent civil war in Syria has caused the destruction of the synagogue once again.

We are racing against the clock to restore a proper roof and walls of the Eastern portion of the synagogue, before the winter months when the weather grows too cold. This section is the location in which the newly arrived Spanish Jews prayed in the 1500’s and the area that houses the cave of Eliyahu Hanavi.

This area also protects the graves of our ancestors and many great rabbis of Aleppo, some dating back 2,500 years ago.

Join me in this great mitzvah and community legacy of repairing our Great Synagogue. Your generous donations are greatly appreciated.

Please email rsultan@theshm.com for more information.

SBH: 50 Years In The Making

The following story is an excerpt from our new book, SBH: 50 Years in the Making. We’re thrilled to announce this exciting new project and to share the story of one of our community’s most vital and distinguished organizations. This book will feature never-before-seen interviews with past presidents and archival documents that capture the magic and wisdom of SBH’s leaders and volunteers. Dive into the history of SBH, from its humble beginnings in a living room to the absolute force it is today. SBH’s story is as captivating as the individuals and teams who were integral to it, and we are so excited to share it with all of you. Our hope is for this book to live inside every community home, to pay tribute to our past and inspire our leaders of tomorrow.

By Esther Chehebar

On Monday, November 18th, SBH is hosting its 50th Anniversary Gala honoring the past and current presidents of SBH. To learn more about the dinner and journal sponsorship opportunities, contact Charlest@sbhonline.org or visit www.sbh50.com

CHAPTER 3

THE EARLY DAYS OF VISITING

Back when SBH was in its infancy and the only uniting principle was to visit the sick and elderly in hospitals, Fred Bijou walked into the room of a man he respected very much; there he found Hacham David Shammah in a “snakepit” ward, surrounded by seven other patients. The situation was intolerable to Fred. He realized he needed to do something, ASAP. In addition to mobilizing more volunteers, SBH’s financial committee – as it was then called began fundraising. It wasn’t easy. Many did not believe that such poverty existed in our community, let alone the very real pandemic of loneliness. Others were ashamed to admit that they knew somebody in need or were resistant to the idea all together. With tenacity and perseverance SBH was finally able to raise the funds and move Hacham David Shammah home as well as hire a nurse to care for him. And SBH as we know it was born. As of 2023, SBH houses over a dozen divisions which address everything from fertility to career choice to medical and senior services. There are over 75 therapists in SBH’s employ and the organization fields, on average, 300 calls a week from community members in need of assistance. At times it can feel impossible to identify which moments propelled SBH from one stratosphere to the next. But one thing is certain: the SBH of today exists because somebody knocked on a stranger’s door.

Fred Bijou, Founding President Elliot Bibi, Jersey Division Founder The Bobby Matalon, Second SRII President
Fred Bijou, Founding President Elliot Bibi, Jersey Division Founder The Bobby Matalon, Second SRII President

“Fred Bijou created something from nothing, and he did it with a lot of pushback.”

Barbara Matalon

MICKY’S LIST

Barbara Matalon and Gloria Bijou are a part of SBH’s DNA. They began visiting patients in the hospital together with their husbands, and were present at those very first meetings in Fred Bijou’s living room. At the time, Barbara Matalon was just twenty two years old and had three young babies at home. Still, SBH’s mission was a calling she could not walk away from. Barbara had been doing hospital visits for a few months when Micky Kairey’s list changed everything. Micky and Barbara were in the car on the way home from a hospital visit when he turned to her and said: “You know, there are people at home that you really need to visit. Start with this one.” Micky had been entrusted with a list of widows and orphans that originated from Ma’oz La’ebyon in Syria. Quietly, and on his own, Micky had been taking care of scores of people, community members who were privately suffering, hidden from the mainstream. Together with Linda Benun and Gloria Bijou, Barbara Matalon began taking on cases from that original list.

FROM HOSPITALS TO HOMES

HIDDEN IN PLAIN VIEW

Every SBH client was connected to a mainstream community person is some way or another; it just wasn’t spoken about. Not only that, many were skeptical that the need for a social services organization in our community existed at all. On their very first home visit, Barbara and Linda trekked up five flights of stairs to visit an elderly woman with no siblings. With no hired help or childcare at home, Barbara and Linda brought their babies along, as they would continue to do on most visits. The client, a 97-year-old lovely lady who stood no taller than four feet tall, opened the door with great excitement, “You came to visit me? How lucky am I!” Barbara still remembers how the woman cooked an entire shabbat meal in countless. tiny pots, all for herself. “Everything was a beracha to her.” Barbara recalled.

Gloria Bijou and Becky Rosenblatt, SBI Founding Board Members

“The captains would catch things. One woman was smart enough to realize her client had a stroke when nobody else had noticed. Indeed, he did have one and was able to get help. “

-Barbant Matalon

The pair did everything from offer mental and physical support, to washing dishes… Barbara recalled one particularly difficult visit: “We rolled up our sleeves and began scrubbing pots as [the client] lay under piles of covers because she had no heat. There were tins of cat food all over the floor and no cat to be found. When we asked her why she simply replied: ‘Because it’s cheaper.”

1998, Children Health awareness Day, Linda Benun and a volunteer

THE HOME VISIT CREW RECRUITS VOLUNTEERS

Barbara, Linda, Gloria and Sandy Esses all. juggled young families while visiting 1-2 times a week. They realized they needed to recruit more volunteers. Barbara soon had seventy women in her living room eager to help. Hacham Baruch’s wife was one of them. Gloria Bijou’s mother-in-law was another.

SBH was barely a year old when Passover rolled around, and the harsh reality that many clients would not be able to have a seder, materialized. What would it take to make a seder plate for each one? The team wondered. Ideas began firing off at all cylinders.

We’ll make the berachot!

Gloria will cook the meals!

What would it cost?

$2,000: Money they didn’t have.

The next day, Fred Bijou opened his mail slot to find a banker’s check for $2,000. They never found out where it came from. But in the years that followed small miracles like this would happen time and time again, helping SBH attain the unattainable.

On another hard visit, Barbara and Linda decided to leave their children at home. They knew that this case would be tough, even for them. They knocked on Rosie’s door, but nobody answered.

They knocked some more, and could hear shuffling coming from the other side of the door. They continued to wait until finally, Rosie had dragged herself across the floor to open the door. The sight was shocking. The floor was soiled and the apartment was a mess. But Linda and Barbara continued the visit and told Rosie that they would be back again next week. The following week they knocked on the door, expecting the same wait and litter on the other side. Instead, Rosie answered the door immediately, fully dressed, her makeup and hair done. The apartment was completely clean. In just one week they had seen what their visit had done for this client.

Barbara Matalon, Rochelle Mansour, Tva Tawil

THE YOUTH GET INVOLVED

During the early days of visiting SBH operated out of its original office at 530 Avenue R. Linda and Gloria decided to try and involve the high school students by prompting them to make Purim packages. This led to the students delivering the packages and paying a visit at the same time.

It’s difficult to imagine just how revolutionary this was. Today, there are countless community organizations and individuals who make and deliver packages for any and all occasions. However back then, it wasn’t nearly as common, if at all!

The kids were inspired to do Hesed and learned invaluable life skills in the process; how to be compassionate, respectful and inclusive of those different from you.

The A, B, C’s of AnxiousBehavioral Children

Erika Levavi

When one hears the word anxiety or thinks of an anxious child the thoughts that immediately come to mind may be crying, clingy, fearful children. What we rarely think of are behavioral, angry and frustrated children. I’d like to refer to these children as anxious, behavioral children whose behavior problems are stemming from their anxiety.

Anxiety comes in many different forms. The anxious, behavioral child may exhibit temper tantrums and angry outbursts that may seemingly come out of nowhere. The anxious, behavioral child may hit other children in school or throw their books. Teachers will naturally respond with behavior modification techniques such as sticker charts for good behavior and negative consequences such as time outs for bad behavior. Schools may specifically assign that child to “stricter” teachers in the future with the hope that firm teachers will keep those children’s behaviors in check. Ultimately, however, the root cause of the behaviors in these anxious, behavioral children gets overlooked and furthermore, many anxious, behavioral children will respond with more behavior problems when faced with rigid, authoritarian teachers. Therefore, it is essential to be able to recognize the signs of the anxious, behavioral child in order to support them properly.

With most forms of anxiety, there is a key component of a sense of insecurity. Children who externalize that sense of insecurity become fearful of things around them; they don’t trust that the environment around them is safe and will mostly exhibit fearful kinds of behaviors. In response, these children are met with reassurance and warmth in order to help calm their fears. In contrast, children who internalize insecurity, become insecure about their own competence in the face of challenges and as a result will often exhibit low frustration tolerance. Low frustration tolerance is an inability to sit with frustration. Anxious children who internalize their insecurity, are not confident in their ability to get through their frustration safely; they literally feel unsafe in the face of frustration. In response, as toddlers they may yell, scream, hit others or tantrum when they feel frustrated playing with a toy or trying to put on their shoes or pick up food with their fork. A child who should be having fun playing with their toys for example, will instead try to break their toys and possibly alienate other children by their “rough” playing. As they get older and are in classrooms, they may begin to feel frustrated when trying to complete a math problem or perhaps in anticipation of tomorrow’s math test. These children have developed insecure feelings about themselves and so they lash out at the world around them. In contrast to anxious, fearful children who are reassured and shown warmth in the face of fear, anxious, behavioral children are often met with rigid consequences and their feelings about their insecurities in themselves are often neglected.

Anxious, behavioral children need the same warmth, reassurance and encouragement that anxious, fearful children need; they need the same flexibility and understanding that anxious, fearful children need. Yet, they don’t get it. Parents of anxious, behavioral children may have a hard time advocating for their child properly since schools and teachers often have a hard time recognizing the signs of the anxious, behavioral child and schools and teachers may understandably, already be frustrated with the behavior problems exhibited by these children. Recognizing the signs of an anxious, behavioral child early is imperative in order to help boost their confidence in themselves and learn to believe in their ability to conquer their world successfully and unlock their full potential without fear.

A Surprise in Montreal – an SSC Rabbi

The front of Shearith Israel – the Spanish and Portuguese Synagogue

Sarina Roffé

My husband and I decided to take a few days and visit Montreal, a place he always wanted to go. It’s an easy city to go when you are Jewish, lots of synagogues and kosher restaurants to choose from. It was an easy trip; we had no plans. We took a tour of the old Jewish part of Montreal and the guide mentioned that the first Jews in Montreal were Sephardim. As we were walking, I googled the Sephardic synagogue and sent a quick message to Rabbi Yehoshua Ellis, the rabbi of the Spanish Portuguese Synagogue in Montreal. I identified myself as a Sephardic historian who was the cousin of Rabbi Sam Kassin.

Imagine my surprise when within minutes I got a call from Rabbi Ellis, praising Rabbi Kassin, as he had been a student at Shehebar Sephardic Center (SSC) in Jerusalem and had received his semicha from the yeshiva. Rabbi Ellis had heard of me and set aside time in his day to provide David and I with a Surprise in Montreal tour of the synagogue as well as information about the community.

The main sanctuary of Shearith Israel – the Spanish and Portuguese Synagogue

Shearith Israel – the Spanish and Portuguese Synagogue began in Montreal in 1768 and is over 250 years old. The current building opened in 1947 and is the fourth building location. The synagogue has a coat of arms. The current location is part of a complex that includes a day school, community center, Jewish public library and Jewish hospital.

Rabbi Yehoshua Ellis explains the provenance of many of the Sefer Torahs of the synagogue.

The synagogue has over a hundred Sefer Torahs, one of which is from Sedon (Lebanon) and is hundreds of years old. Many are family Torahs from Baghdad and other places. The synagogue has one Sefer Torah that is over 300 years old from Iraq and it came to the synagogue after the second Iraq war.

Rabbi Meldoal De Sola

The Spanish Portuguese Synagogue has a main sanctuary and Bet Midrash, which has an Aron Kodesh that dates to 1835 and is used by the Lebanese congregants on Shabbat. They have minyans three times a day. The congregation has about 600-700 member families. There are other Sephardic synagogues in Montreal. Shearith Israel – the Spanish and Portuguese Synagogue may be the biggest Sephardic congregation in Canada. Rabbi Ellis estimated that 30 percent of Montreal’s Jewish community was Sephardic, yet they consumed 70 percent of the kosher food

Rabbi Abraham De Sola was an important rabbi in the history of the community.

I asked Rabbi Ellis, who is Ashkenazic and born in Kansas City, how he came to attend the SSC. Rabbi Ellis said “I was a volunteer in Poland for the JDC where I met my wife. I saw they needed a rabbi. I was looking for a yeshiva and a friend was studying at the SSC. I met with Rabbi Kassin and he said ‘Why are you here?’ I said I want to be a rabbi in Poland. And he said “ok, you’re in, but you have to start tomorrow.’ We had the exact same vision, which was to go out and be a rabbi who can keep Jews Jewish. Thank G-d, all of us who got to learn from Rabbi Peretz are in awe of how blessed we are, his Emunah, and his amazing depth of Torah knowledge. So after I got my semicha, I went to Poland for 13 years.”

Rabbi Ellis is in full robes and he stands before the Hechal

Rabbi Ellis lived in Jerusalem for six years in Nahalot and got to go to many synagogues. He said every synagogue is a jewel in the crown of the king. As the rabbi for one year in Montreal, the father of two feels the Kehilla has a very unique synagogue, both emotionally and spiritually very warm.

Abraham de Sola delivering the opening prayer at the House of Representatives on Tuesday, January 9, 1872

Rabbi Ellis told us the history of the congregation. He showed me the portraits of several important rabbis of the congregation. Rabbi Abraham De Sola was the rabbi from 1847-1882. He was also a professor of Oriental Studies at McGill University. He opened a session of Congress in the United States with a prayer. Originating from a large renowned family of rabbis and scholars, De Sola was recognized as one of the foremost leaders of Orthodox Judaism in North America during the latter half of the nineteenth century. His son Meldola De Sola was the rabbi from 1882 – 1918.

Synagogue Coat of Arms

In 1970, the Iraqis began moving here and it changed the culture of the congregation. The presidents that lined the walls included Bitton, Mohgraby, Levy, Benchimol, Elbaz, Shemie and Mann, many of them Iraqi. Many Moroccan Jews also came.

Regarding Rabbi Kassin and the SSC, Rabbi Ellis noted “The institution he built at Midrash Sephardi, is a wonderful institution. He gave me an opportunity. As students we were all inspired to make Jewish life livable for Am Israel. We spread Judaism and do what we can to teach Torah. We learned to spread Judaism of the middle path, making life livable and meaningful, yet staying true to tradition. We keep Am Israel a bit holier and more connected and to bring Judaism to more Jews.”

Bet Midrash used by the Lebanese on Shabbat. Hechal is from 1835.

As to Rabbi Kassin, he said “He’s not interested in setbacks. He is only interested in how to move forward. We had the same vision and I am thankful for the opportunity he gave me.”

A genealogist and historian, Sarina RoffĂ© is the author of Branching Out from Sepharad (Sephardic Heritage Project, 2017). She is researching a new book: Syria – Paths to Freedom. Sarina holds a BA in Journalism, and MA in Jewish Studies and an MBA.

Shifting Struggles into Strengths The Power of Gratitude

My day begins and ends with gratitude

Rabbi Ezra Max

As we transition from the joyous spirit of Succoth to the winter season, the secular calendar reminds us to focus on an evening of Thanksgiving. It’s another opportunity to reflect with the power of gratitude in our lives—both personally and professionally. Have you acknowledged your strengths lately? Do you realize how often stress and struggle leads to more strength?

Gratitude is not merely a reaction to positive events but a proactive stance that can elevate our experiences, helping us recognize the beauty and abundance around us, even during cold winter nights and challenging times.

Building on Past Strengths

Every journey is filled with both struggles and victories. In fact, many of our strengths emerge from overcoming obstacles. The Mishnah teaches us, “Who is rich? One who is happy with his lot”–Because putting in effort always matters (Pirkei Abot 4:1). This wisdom encourages us to cultivate appreciation for our circumstances, however difficult they may seem, as this always lays the groundwork for our future successes.

Client Story

A recent client was a business owner with a mid-sized company that operates multiple product lines. This past year has been particularly challenging for him, especially regarding tension with a key employee over the direction of the business and lowered profitability. He reached out for guidance, wanting to navigate these interpersonal complexities and find a pathway forward.

Turning Struggles into Clarity

What initially seemed like insurmountable struggles, is actually becoming the catalyst for a new level of clarity for him. Through careful reflection and strategic conversations, he has identified the essential focus areas for his business. The chaos he faced forced him to hone in on the core strengths of his company and clarify the personnel decisions that would align with his strengths.

As he navigated these tensions, he discovered that the struggles were not merely obstacles but rather stepping stones toward a clearer vision. This newfound clarity not only provided sanity amidst the overwhelming stress but also illuminated a path toward increased profitability. By embracing gratitude for the lessons learned through hardship, he transformed his approach, allowing him to move forward with confidence.

Celebrating Wins and Milestones

Acknowledging and celebrating our wins, both big and small–is crucial in maintaining momentum. It’s easy to get caught up in the grind and overlook our achievements, but recognizing these milestones fosters a culture of appreciation, resources and motivates us to keep pushing forward.

As we cultivate gratitude in our work environments, we foster a more positive and productive atmosphere. This not only benefits us as leaders but also enhances our relationships with our teams, allowing everyone to contribute to and share in the success. More important than our work, we must get better at being more grateful and appreciative at home with our families.

Practical Steps for Gratitude and Clarity

1.     Reflect on Your Journey: Take a moment to recognize the challenges you’ve faced and how they’ve shaped your strengths. Reflect on the lessons learned and the growth experienced through adversity.

2.     Celebrate Milestones: Make it a habit to celebrate both personal and professional wins. Recognizing achievements, no matter how small, helps maintain motivation and encourages a culture of gratitude.

3.     Communicate with Your Team: Share your vision and the steps you’re taking to move forward. Transparency fosters trust and connection, allowing your team to feel valued and engaged.

4.     Engage in Gratitude Practices: Incorporate more gratitude practices into your daily routine–whether through journaling, meditation, or expressing appreciation to your team.

5.     Seek Support: Don’t hesitate to reach out to a coach or a mentor to help navigate challenges and gain clarity. The support of others can be invaluable in maintaining focus and direction.

Conclusion: Living in Abundance

Let’s make Thanksgiving a regular event. Be more conscious every morning when we acknowledge Hashem’s blessing in our lives and the world in Mizmor Letodah–“Enter His gates with thanksgiving, and His courts with praise; give thanks to Him, bless His name “Tehillim (Psalms 100:4): Let’s take the time regularly to acknowledge the abundance in our lives and the strengths we’ve developed through overcoming challenges. Embracing gratitude will help us foster deeper connections with ourselves, our families, and our teams.

Consider how the struggles you’ve faced have led to your current strengths. What Current struggles might be the key to unlocking more of your strengths? Let’s commit to celebrating our wins and building on them as we navigate the path ahead.

May this season be filled with personal growth, meaningful connections, and the abundance of Hashem’s blessings!

Rabbi Ezra Max, PCC, MHMP, Xchange Guide & Creator of “The Max Method” assists businesses and professionals deal with stress and achieve success. Rabbi Max has witnessed 20 years of results helping executives, parents and teens overcome struggles, improve communication and thrive. He lives in New York with his wife and five children.

Escape Through Iskenderun Turkey How the Shamosh Family Helped Refugees

Twelve people, the Kassab and Shama families, in an early group to show up at the Shamosh House in 1950.

Sarina Roffé

The Shamosh family of Iskenderun began helping refugees in the late 1930s when they helped Eastern Europeans escaping Nazi Germany. After World War II and the creation of the state of Israel, the family helped Syrian refugees escape the persecution and restrictions placed on Jews. Between Hakham Yaakov and his eldest son, Harun Shamosh, more than 3500 people were assisted after they left Syria. This is their story.1

Iskenderun is a city along the Mediterranean coast, just northwest of Syria. Hakham Moses Tawil sent Hakham Yaakov Shamosh there from Aleppo to serve the community in 1932. He was the rabbi, the hazzan and the shokhet. After a few years he went back to Aleppo, and brought back his bride, Mazal Esses. Their son, Harun Shamosh, was born in 1936, the eldest of eight children.

Until his death in 1970, Hakham Yaakov arranged for many escapees to get to Israel. Eventually, his son Harun took over the mission, along with other family members. Iskenderun played a big role in helping Jews who escaped over the mountains from Aleppo into Turkey.

There were many restrictions for Syrian Jews. One of them was the restriction on travel, and the fact that you could not travel more than three kilometers from your home without permission. Jobs were lost and there were boycotts on their businesses. Many people tried to escape. Doing so involved baksheesh (bribe), smugglers and a dangerous escape route. For the Jews of Aleppo, the nearest border was through the mountains to Turkey. Since Hakham Yaakov had come from Aleppo, many families knew him and found their way to his home in Iskenderun.

In 1948, Syria only gave passports to its citizens. From about 1950-1960, some paid the Iranian consulate for passports. Those who were able to get Iranian passports went to Iskenderun and took a ship from there to Haifa. The ship only came once every 21 days.

ID Card

Syrian Jews started to show up at Hakham Yaakov’s home in 1950. A group of 12 people from two families managed to get over the border into Turkey and came to his house with no money, filthy, dirty from traversing the mountains.

Hakham Yaakov arranged for them to get cleaned up and got a bus to take them to Istanbul – a 20-hour drive. They had to be escorted by a family member because they had no papers and only spoke Arabic, not Turkish. Hakham Yaakov found a place for them to stay in an old hotel. Hakham Yaakov went to the rabbinate in Istanbul for guidance. Then the refugees were taken to the Israeli consulate and arrangements were made for them to go to Israel. This process of using the Iranian passports went on for four to five years.

The rabbi often invited Jewish people to their home for Shabbat. One week there was a couple who claimed to be engineers working at a local cement factory. Hakham Yaakov’s wife was suspicious. As it turned out they were Mossad agents looking for a partner to help the Jews leaving Syria, Hakham Yaakov became that person. The agent instructed Hakham how to get people over the border.

Those who escaped Syria had no entry visa because they came through the mountains and crossed the borders illegally. Before individuals could leave Turkey, a person needed an entry visa. The issue of getting entry visas posed a problem.

Hakham Yaakov went to the police and asked what to do, explaining they could not go back and were refugees. From about 1954 until 1975, there was an arrangement whereby the police – for a fine of 70 lira – would issue entry visas good for 30 days to those who escaped. With the entry visa, the refugees could get a laissez passe (travel papers) in Istanbul and then go to Israel.

Each time a group of escapees showed up at his door, Harun or another family member would take them by bus to Istanbul.

Harun blessed by the Chief Rabbi of Turkey 2016

After Hafez al-Assad became President of Syria in 1971, many families were escaping. Harun and the family were busy. Harun became well known for his work, not just his connections kept him safe.

Harun worked with trusted smugglers who got Aleppan Jews across the border into Turkey. They often used a code, like half of a photo or one earring. If the smuggler had the other half, he could be trusted not to say Harun’s name. The signal was always different.

Jack Imir, Harun’s son, remembers a Turkish Muslim smuggler who was often at their home. He smuggled goods across the border in both directions. He was sent to homes in Aleppo and started to bring people to Turkey. The smuggler was trusted, and he brought families several times a week. As more and more people were leaving in the 1970s, the Shamoshs were able to recruit more smugglers to assist. The smugglers knew what they were doing and were loyal to Harun and worked for them for many years.

Some people had the funds to pay smugglers on their own and others had to be helped with money. A lot of money was used for bribes or baksheesh. All involved wanted a piece of the action and Mossad bribed many government officials.2

Usually, people were smuggled over the border at midnight, when it was dark and the guards were more relaxed. The process was that the smugglers told the refugees only to wear the clothes on their back. They were not to bring any identification. The smugglers were often smuggling other items as well.

Letter sent from Consul of Turkey to Mossad to send Harun to Beirut – reference letter August 1, 1962

Border patrols were looking for smuggling of merchandise, not people. Smugglers were always paid in cash. Harun and his family said the refugees arrived at his home in the middle of the night, about 3 a.m. They walked for days in the mountains, in mud, and arrived at his home filthy and exhausted from the trip. Babies were carried and drugged to keep them quiet. They arrived hungry and needed to be fed.

Occasionally, if someone was caught at the border by the Turkish border patrol, the smugglers would run away, tell Harun Shamosh what happened and he would go to get them released. This happened many times. One family that he helped get released, met him decades later in Israel.

The Shamoshs bought the refugees new clothing and provided shelter until arrangements were made for them to go to Istanbul and then Israel. Shamosh tried to make same day or next day arrangements if he could. At times, the people were coming almost every day and each family member helped out. Harun’s wife, son and daughters often made the trip to Istanbul or did the shopping for clothing.

A separate operation began at the behest of Eddie “Whitey” Sitt from Brooklyn, New York. Hakham Shaul Cohen of Turkey was a friend of Sitt and told him what Harun was doing. In 1971, Sitt went to Turkey and offered to help. Sitt wanted the refugees to come to New York. By the mid to late 1970s, a separate operation developed whereby Sitt sent signals for families that wanted to go to New York. These were people who had families in New York and had been separated. Those refugees who wanted to go to New York had to pay their own way. The Jewish Agency only paid smugglers for the families going to Israel.

Harun Shamosh in his Brooklyn home

By 1979, the 70 lira fee became a thing of the past. About 1980, they switched the operation to Antakya, where the Jemals, Esther’s family lived. Iskenderun became too dangerous for the refugees. Antakya is about 35 miles from Iskenderun but closer to Aleppo. Refugees went to the police station in Antakya, declared themselves to be refugees from Syria who wanted to go to Israel. The police sent them to a State Department office and Harun Shamosh was asked to handle their transportation to Israel.

By 1986, there were fewer people escaping Syria. But Mossad wanted him to stay until 1992. Harun would meet Mossad agents in the Dan Tel Aviv and Harun would give them reports. There are 60 years of reports about the Shamosh family and their work with the Syrians who escaped.

Harun and Esther emigrated to New York in 1992, the year of the exodus when Syrian President Hafez al-Assad lifted the prohibition on travel.

1 Based on interviews with Harun and Esther Shamosh with daughter Rutie Haser on April 2024; Jack Imir on December 31, 2023; Harun and Esther Shamosh with daughter Nurit Sousson on June1, 2024 and October 9, 2024

2 Author has no confirmation from Mossad. However multiple sources interviewed for this book noted the role of Mossad in Turkey and in Lebanon for assisting escaping Syrian Jews.

A genealogist and historian, Sarina RoffĂ© is the author of Branching Out from Sepharad (Sephardic Heritage Project, 2017). A version of this article will be included in her upcoming book: Syria – Paths to Freedom. Sarina holds a BA in Journalism, and MA in Jewish Studies and an MBA.

A very real love story In memory of our parents,Alyce & Maurice Levy A’H

Michelle Safdieh, Nicole Levy & Claudine Bennaim

It’s been six months since we’ve said goodbye to our parents. There has been a lot of thinking, reminiscing, crying, and laughing. We’ve sifted through old photographs and memories, trying to make sense of how we got here. While the pain remains strong and very real, we’ve also come to realize just how lucky we were—and still are. This tribute is a reflection on that journey, honoring the values our parents imparted and the closeness of our family.

From a young age, Mom and Dad emphasized the importance of being polite, courteous, caring, and respectful. This wasn’t just any “run-of-the-mill” res­pect. If a friend or relative entered the room, we would jump up like jack-in-the-boxes to promptly kiss them on both cheeks. For friends or older cousins, we referred to them as “Aunt” or “Uncle.” Although it may have been considered “old fashioned”, it was a testament to the importance our parents placed on acknowledging and respecting those around us.

Proper etiquette was paramount, especially in how we set the table. I think Mom must have mentioned Emily Post at least once a week. We didn’t know why Emily Post got to decide how you must set the table; she just did. This dedication to decorum instilled in us a sense of order and respect for tradition, even if it sometimes felt a bit strict.

The warmth and friendliness of our parents extended beyond our immediate family. Every housekeeper, worker, the concierge from Florida, hairdressers, manicurists, and healthcare aides showed immense care, sorrow, and willingness to help when they came to pay their condolences. This was a reflection of how warmly our parents treated everyone they met. Their kindness and respect left a lasting impact on those around them.

Our parents spent most of their time together. They would go shopping, run errands, and dine out together. While it may not have been Dad’s favorite pastime to run errands, he was always eager to help and make sure Mom was taken care of. That was what mattered most to him—so much so that he was even known to carry her handbag for her.

One sentiment we constantly heard from visitors was how close our family was. We never thought it was extraordinary, but considering our parents spent over seven months each year in Florida for the past 20+ years, we realized how special it truly was. Our children are more like siblings than cousins, always looking forward to spending time together. This is a testament to the strong family bonds our parents nurtured. We once asked our dad how he felt about only having girls, mom said he actually prayed to have girls, and it showed. He was always the dad who would do the late night or early morning carpool. He loved taking care of and helping us and never asked for anything in return.

Visiting Grandma and Grandpa was never a chore for the kids. Each grandchild and their spouses had their own unique relationship with them. There was always laughter, recipes explained while something baked in the oven, discussions about current events and heartfelt interest in whatever was happening in their lives. And when the great-grandchildren visited, they would drop whatever they were doing. Nothing gave them more joy than those visits.

Friends liked to compare their love to a romantic movie, calling it the greatest love story. We would laugh because, even when they bickered, it was comical. But beneath the humor, we always knew they shared a great love and deep respect for each other.

During their last days, each was more worried about the other than about their own health. Watching them say their final goodbyes over FaceTime was torturous, yet deeply heartwarming. The love they had for each other was palpable.

Mom would always tell us that she would never be able to live without our dad. He was everything to her. When dad started to decline, we were so afraid to tell her. Somehow, deep down, we got the feeling that she already knew. Although she wasn’t critical or terminal, she passed quietly, after the whole family had come to visit, on Sunday, Purim day.

Navigating between two hospitals was incredibly difficult for us. It was extremely hard to be in both places at once. But then Ronnie and Sammy, their sons-in-law, immediately sat by Dad’s bedside, sleeping there for two days until Mom’s funeral. Dad passed away the day after Mom’s funeral, but he made sure to wait for his grandson Isaac to return from Israel.

We were so fortunate to have the entire family together with the support and guidance of Rabbi Shelby. It was the most beautiful, special closure we could have hoped for and we will always be forever grateful to the Rabbi. Their grandson Aaron had the opportunity to read Shir HaShirim for each of them, which was the most moving experience. We are very grateful to the Rabbi for giving us this gift.

As we continue to navigate this new chapter, we hold onto the enduring legacy of our parents’ values and the strength of our family bond. We feel fortunate for the time spent together and the lasting impact our parents had on everyone who knew them. Their love and teachings will continue to guide us, reminding us of how truly lucky we are. And although it took us all these months to process the enormity of our loss, there is also a feeling of peace, knowing they are together, still looking out for each other. Not a day goes by that they aren’t mentioned and praised for the life lessons they imparted to us and tried so very hard to prepare us for.

With Rosh Hashanah approaching, we are so grateful to have all mom’s recipe cards (approx. 30 boxes). It just would’ve helped to have the Berakhot narrowed down to which recipe was truly her favorite, and some accurate ingredient measurements!

We consider ourselves extremely fortunate to have them as our role models. Everyone should be as fortunate to have a love story like theirs. May their memories continue to have an abundance of blessings.

Michelle Safdieh, Nicole Levy & Claudine Bennaim are members of the Sephardic Community.