An agent sat for over an hour with her client, discussing possible options and a plan for her client’s future. They discussed the client’s past experiences to assess what would be in her best interests. The client was thrilled with the personal attention she was receiving, and couldn’t believe the service was free. The best part was that she didn’t have to go to Hollywood for star treatment.
Here in the heart of Brooklyn, a new not-for-profit website providing such treatment is celebrating its one-year anniversary. Stretching across expanses of areas including NJ, Florida, Canada, Panama, and yes, maybe even Hollywood, Sephardic Link is getting bigger and better. Open for registration only in February 2006 and officially open in July 2006, it’s already had seven weddings, one engagements, and many more on the way.
The site works with a large variety of singles ranging in age from 18-80 and carefully separates them into different appropriate categories. While agents primarily deal with ages 18-40, they are beginning to pick up steam with the 40 to 80-year-olds. A huge incentive for so many to join is that the site is entirely free of charge and members will never have to worry about any costs, other than the actual date. It began as a labor of love financed by Joe Cayre and his family, and now receives donations from numerous community members.
Most of the Brooklyn Sephardic community is familiar with the high-tech website, which is more than your average matchmaking site. As stated on its website, “SephardicLink.com is a private Sephardic Jewish online dating site whose objective is to provide singles with a new alternative to meeting, and ultimately dating, others.” It’s using the advance of computer technology and the Internet in the safest manner and hopes to add all 10,000 community singles to its database.
Many people ask why they should join if they already know everyone. Firstly, there are people on the Link from all over and chances of knowing everyone are slim. “Despite our community’s large growth, all I hear from kids is that they know everyone,” said Charles Mizrahi, one of Sephardic Link’s founders. “Over half of our marriages consist of couples who didn’t know each other and that’s the exact reason for Sephardic Link.” Secondly, two people who are familiar with each other could make a great match without even knowing it. As another founder put it, the Link physically puts people together and cuts through the chase.
That’s how it worked for Renee Shalom and Bobby Husney. The couple was recently married after meeting on the Link, and actually knew each other from beforehand but didn’t think of dating. “It’s quite ironic that Bobby and I have crossed paths many times in our lives but never stopped and took notice until Sephardic Link came around,” said Renee. “In fact, we were in college together for four years with the same major.” She acknowledged how strenuous the dating process is and thanked Sephardic Link for all its help. “Unfortunately, the singles scene is all over the place and dates are replaced with hang-outs, texting, and e-mails instead of traditional phone calls, and it’s really hard,” she said.
Sephardic Link founders couldn’t agree more. Founders Joe Cayre, Steven Cayre, Charles Mizrahi, Executive Director Kelly Yedid, and Visionary Partner Hymie Dweck believe that agents are becoming mentors to singles, and are there for dating advice if the singles wish to hear it. However, agents also know when to take a step back if their client desires to handle everything on his or her own.
Agents work on a one-on-one basis with clients and volunteer all of their time. There is a screening process and rigorous training they must pass in order to qualify as an agent, and experts are brought in on a regular basis to speak with them. “I have been matching singles for many years and this link has been the best thing that happened in this community,” said Agent Shirley Mansour. “We should all be proud of this great undertaking that is immensely needed for our singles.”
Meeting with each other weekly and working as a team, agents understand that their clients are their priority and individualize each case. “What keeps the site going are the agents and the continuous sign up of new and exciting singles from every religious level, age group, and social group,” said Kelly. “The more people that join, the more matches to choose from.”
Agents don’t match just to match, but rather think carefully about each candidate before linking people. “One of the many things we loved about Sephardic Link was that agents don’t just set you up with someone because you and the other guy/girl just so happen to be single,” said David Green, a newlywed who met his wife Dawn Guber through the Link. “You can actually sense why Sephardic Link thought the match would work out. It took the Link just one try with us and we couldn’t be happier.”
Sephardic Link alleviates some of the pressures of dating and agents could go through the post-date conversation without embarrassing either party. “I am so thankful for Sephardic Link and my agent for introducing me to someone who I never would have met on my own and for putting in the effort to follow up,” said Lillian Grossman, recently engaged to Marc Zakaria. “I am especially thankful to the community for realizing how important it is for singles to meet the right one and I hope there are many more matches to come.”
And so there are, but that is undisclosed information, privy only to the dating couples and their agents. Some matches do not even consist of both members being on the Link, another advantage to joining. An agent could match a client with someone off-site, a big plus for many. Agents solely work for clients and if they find a good match, whether he or she is on the site, they’ll go for it for their clients’ benefit. Such were the successful cases of newlyweds Crystal Green and Joey Levy, and Kelly Jemal and Morris Massry. Even though only one of each pair was on the Link, his or her profile was in the database, serving as a constant reminder for the agent. The agent thought of her client so often that when she didn’t find a match on site, she went elsewhere to find it.
“If not at least partly for Sephardic Link’s efforts, we never would have found each other,” said Kelly Jemal Massry. “The time and consideration they took in matching us shows in how well we complement each other and how much we have in common.”
Before you find the right match, you must find the right agent. If your agent isn’t working for you, don’t be embarrassed to switch to another. It’s been done and will continue to happen. Agents understand how clients feel and only want the best for them.
With so many safeguards, it’s extremely difficult to abuse the system, so pranksters beware. Word from the wise: don’t even try it. Even though people are screened before becoming members, everyone follows their own ways and it’s up to individuals to do their own research on matches.
The Link works with over 150 rabbinical authorities who are happy with the site’s aims and anticipate more success. “You can be confident that everything is on the up and up from a kashrut standpoint,” said Rabbi Eli Mansour, a member of the Link team. “The Sephardic Link is a volcano that is beginning to erupt and will soon explode.” Rabbi Raymond Harari, also affiliated with the team, addressed the void that the website fulfills. “Sephardic Link has already begun to respond to the very real needs of the Syrian community in progressive and effective ways,” he said. “It is a pleasure to see it grow as a vital organization in our community.”
There is a strict confidentiality policy on the site, and Sephardic Link plans to help that through the advent of a new home. Founders are looking to create a Sephardic Link office where agents could privately meet with clients and people could go to hang out. They’re open to all ideas and anticipate feedback to help equip singles with necessary skills to venture out in the dating world. “I believe that what we are doing is providing an objective forum for singles of all ages to make better decisions about what they want out of life by presenting them with a wide range of options and opportunities to meet other great singles in our community,” said Hymie Dweck. There are many events in progress as well, and a one-year anniversary DVD they’re releasing to keep donors in the loop and to post on their site.
The site was originally established after a few of the founders came up with the concept to begin a matchmaking site for Sephardic singles. Other Jewish websites don’t follow the same customs as Sephardic Jews and are not as strict in their policies. There’s no reason for people to feel intimidated to join because it’s just another tool to meet people in today’s world of cyberspace. A safe tool that even your grandparents would approve of.
“We urge all singles to overcome their hesitation and join the Link,” said Kelly Jemal Massry. “You never know what could happen.”
So, what are you waiting for?
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Yvonne Harari is a graduate of Brooklyn College and Allegra Franco Sephardic Women’s Teachers College.
