MARY ANNE COHEN LCSW, BCD
“NOT EVERYTHING THAT IS FACED CAN BE CHANGED. BUT NOTHING CAN BE CHANGED UNTIL IT IS FACED.”
— JAMES BALDWIN
Eating disorders develop and thrive in a world of secrecy, silence, and shame. *Debbie, age 13, waits for her parents to go to sleep before she sneaks downstairs and raids the refrigerator. Danny, age 16, secretly buys laxatives in the mistaken hope of speeding up weight loss as well as supplements that promise to help him grow big muscles; he hides them from his parents. Renee, age 18, tells her parents she ate dinner at her girlfriend’s and isn’t hungry at mealtime; in fact, she has barely eaten all day and has been restricting her food for a while.
Adults also suffer in silence. Paula, age 34, waits for her husband to leave for work and binges and purges several times a week. And, George, 46, after his drive home from work, makes sure he cleans out candy wrappers from his car, so no one knows of his bingeing habits. Secrecy, silence, and shame.
Teachers, psychotherapists, doctors as well as community and religious leaders have worked for years to promote the best practices to prevent eating disorders in children and teens. We professionals conclude that education about these disorders is very valuable since “knowledge is power.”
Some parents worry that teaching kids about eating disorders may give their children ideas they never would have known about on their own and then lead them to hurtful eating behaviors. Of course, parents want to protect their children and keep them safe, and they do not want to expose their child to anything harmful. But it is unrealistic in these current times not to have fruitful discussions in every school and every community about how and when to teach children about the destructive impact of drugs and alcohol, how to appropriately teach sex education, and how to help children face the violence that has been so prevalent. Teaching about eating disorders, which are now so rampant, needs to be part of the curriculum as well.
What we know for certain is that teaching kids about eating disorders will not cause them to develop them. In fact, evidence-based research has shown just the opposite! Here’s why: bringing the topic of eating disorders out to the clear light of day helps kids realize they are not alone with their possibly secret eating behavior.
Jenny, age 18, came for a consultation because she couldn’t stop gorging and snacking. She began to cry when I told her she had a binge eating disorder. “I thought I was just crazy,” she said. “But if my overeating problem is a real thing and, if there’s even a name for it, it must mean that other people have it too!”
Jenny was reassured to learn about binge eating disorder and that she was not the only one suffering. If Jenny had attended a workshop, earlier, on eating disorders, she would have learned that she was not alone. What a relief that would have been for her!
Teaching kids that diets don’t work provides a great opportunity to bust a very popular myth: “You want to lose weight? Then go on a diet!” Teens will be surprised to learn that dieting can become a chronic way of life and is also considered the gateway to developing more serious eating disorders. The restriction of dieting inevitably leads to bingeing and creates a vicious cycle.
School discussions about eating disorders should also include teaching about healthy eating. Eating carbs, gluten, and healthy fats is part of a nutritious lifestyle. Healthy fats also help you feel full and satisfied. Beth was surprised to learn this, because she mistakenly believed that eating dietary fats would make her get fat. Teaching about healthy eating also includes learning intuitive eating—how to feed yourself when you’re hungry and stop when you’re full, and teaching the value of flexibility, variety, and that no foods are off limits (unless someone has a diagnosable food allergy).
Schedule an initial assessment with The Mindful Eating Project, and we’ll help you determine if you or your child can benefit from treatment. To start a conversation, please contact us. Your contact will be absolutely confidential. Please feel free to call (718)336-MEND. The Mindful Eating Project is a division of The Safe Foundation.
The Mindful Eating Project will help you get the control for your eating back inside yourself. We will work with you to custom tailor an individual approach for your unique needs, help you get control of your eating, develop and maintain healthy eating patterns, regain body confidence, and unlock what may be keeping you stuck in your eating problems.
*All names have been changed for confidentiality
Mary Anne Cohen, LCSW, BCD has been Director of The New York Center for Eating Disorders since 1982. She is author of French Toast for Breakfast: Declaring Peace with Emotional Eating and Lasagna for Lunch: Declaring Peace with Emotional Eating. Mary Anne has hosted her own radio show on eating disorders, appears frequently on national television, and is the professional book reviewer for EDReferral.com, the largest international resource for eating disor EmotionalEating.Org.
