LIVE TO GIVE
SARINA ROFFÉ
AJ GINDI’S PATH TO LEADERSHIP AND VOLUNTEERISM WAS LAID IN STONE FROM THE TIME HE WAS A CHILD. HIS PARENTS, IRVING A”H AND TOOTSI GINDI, ALWAYS PROVIDED THE EXAMPLE OF DOING FOR OTHERS.
Irving “lived to give,” according to AJ, which stands for Aaron Jay. “My father always said life is not about you, it’s about what you can do for others.”
While most people associate AJ with Renewal, the organization dedicated to facilitating kidney transplants in the community and around the world, AJ’s path to helping others began in 1983, when he was a newly married, young man, who had just moved to the Deal, New Jersey area.
Ralph Hazan, then president of Congregation Magen Abraham on Monmouth Road, asked AJ to be on the shul’s committee. Having just moved to the area, AJ was surprised and hesitant. So Ralph asked him to handle only three tasks and he would be done. They needed a home for the rabbi closer to the synagogue, approval to put in a sidewalk, and funds to build a nice new Hechal. A year later those items were accomplished, and AJ was appointed president, a job he kept for two decades. Together with Rabbi Semah and Charlie Gammal, they built a beautiful synagogue in West Long Branch. Today the synagogue building is thriving through the leadership of Lee Cohen, and AJ is proud that he had the opportunity to help.
Soon after, he became involved in the New Jersey committee for Sephardic Bikur Holim. AJ was invited to a meeting with Rabbi Michael Haber by the then president, David Bibi. Suddenly David Bibi announced that AJ was the new president of SBH NJ division, a term he had for six years from 2002 to 2008. He continued as a board member until 2018.
In 2013 something dramatic happened that changed AJ forever. Seven-year-old Stella Laniado needed a bone marrow transplant and unfortunately passed away. Tragically, the Laniado’s lost their youngest child. Those who visit their ancestors at the cemetery each year, pass Stella’s grave, filled with fresh flowers and toys, as such a young life was lost.
As an outcome, the Stella Laniado Foundation was formed and each summer, swabs are taken at the fundraising events for a bone marrow registry. One day, AJ had a swab taken and a few years later, he was notified that he was a match! Unfortunately, the recipient fell ill and the bone marrow donation did not happen.
Several months later, AJ was called as a match for a kidney transplant by Renewal, an organization that began in 2006. Without hesitation he graciously agreed to give his kidney. AJ had forgotten he had also expressed interest in kidney donations when Joey Barnathan needed a kidney years before.
“A person only needs 25% of one kidney to live a healthy life, so if I am healthy and have two, why not help save a life. When you give a kidney, you get the best physical ever. There are a multitude of tests and a psychological exam. They try to talk you out of it, because they want to be sure you are giving for the right reason, and that you know what you are getting into,” said AJ, the father of six.
“The psychologist asked me ‘How much are you getting paid?’ I said I’m not getting paid. There is a man whose life is on the line and I am helping him survive. The psychologist said ‘If you donate your kidney, you put your kids in danger.’ I asked how they were involved. She said, ‘If your kids need a kidney one day, you won’t be able to give it to them.’ I told her that I believe that Hashem will protect my children from ever needing one. Then she asked about my wife. And this went on.”
He continued, “My wife Joy stepped in and said, ‘I want him to do it.’ Their job is to try and test you and convince you not to do it. They want to break you and make sure you really want to do it.”
On the day of the surgery, AJ went to the hospital. He had not met, nor did he know who the recipient was. Recipients are warned that the donor can choose to back out even up to the last second before the surgery without any obligation.
AJ saw a man who looked like a rabbi come in and asked the rabbi if he came to give him a blessing. The man was from Renewal, who came to spend the day with him.
“Giving my kidney to save a life was a great feeling and has very little if any effect on the donor. I am fortunate to live my life the way I always did with no limits,” said AJ.
When he went home a couple of days after the transplant, his friend Ralph Hanan visited, got inspired, and said he wanted to do it as well—and sure enough a few months later he did. Today, over 40 of AJ’s friends and relatives have donated their kidneys in order to save lives.
In 2014, Renewal asked him to join their team to promote kidney transplants. In 2013 the organization facilitated and found matches for 40 successful transplants. In 2014 that number went to 48, then 65 then 78 and then over 100. And the number keeps growing each year. Kidney donors receive tremendous rewards for their acts of kindness and giving the gift of life.
“At one time it was taboo to even speak about kidney donations and now it is very accepted,” said AJ.
In March 2014, AJ was contacted by Renewal founder Mendy Reiner, the president Sendy Orenstein, and transplant coordinator Menachem Friedman, who asked AJ to join the Renewal team as a community advocate.
At the time, Renewal was limited to helping people in the New York, New Jersey area. But this became difficult at times for the donor or recipient, who had to remain near the hospital for extended periods of time.
To make the transplant process less stressful and relieve some of the anxiety, Renewal established relationships out of New York with hospitals in Los Angeles, Tampa, Minnesota and Atlanta, all areas where there was enough activity for these relationships to thrive.
Each year, AJ speaks at the Safra Synagogue in Aventura, which has a large number of South American attendees, most of whom never knew kidney transplants were an option. Rabbi Yosef Galimidi from Safra Synagogue is a liaison to potential donors and recipients from South America. Renewal has facilitated quite a few international transplants, including from Panama, Argentina, Brazil and Mexico.
“Renewal is a community advocacy organization; it’s not just Sephardic. If you are in need of a kidney, we will help,” said AJ.
The organization has about 4,000 swabs in its database with almost half of those as very active. There is currently a waiting list of 350 patients who they are assisting. The average wait in the United States is seven to nine years and most of those people will get the kidney from a deceased donor. Patients will live three times longer with a live donor than a cadaver kidney.
Long gone are the times when people desperately in need of a transplant needed to go overseas to procure one. Renewal is saving lives every day by matching donors to recipients.
Renewal has streamlined the process by working together with transplant centers to make the experience more efficient. Please note that Renewal believes in a zero-pressure approach. This means that nobody will guilt you into this and that you are free to back out at any time. To inquire further about becoming a kidney donor please email info@renewal.org or call 718-431-9831 ext. 209. All information provided will be kept strictly confidential.
AJ is there to help you along, a living example of a kidney donor.
A genealogist and historian, Sarina Roffé is the author of Branching Out from Sepharad (Sephardic Heritage Project, 2017), Sarina holds a BA in Journalism, and MA in Jewish Studies and an MBA.
