10 Ways to Increase Happiness In the Chaos
Devora Levy
When the month of Adar enters, increase joy. But how?
Practical steps for choosing happiness when life feels overwhelming.
Let’s be honest. You probably don’t wake up glowing. You wake up to alarms, news alerts, and carpools. You wake up to deadlines and WhatsApp messages that already feel like a bit too much before your day has even started. And then Judaism tells you: When Adar enters, increase joy.
How? Jewish thought teaches that joy is a decision, not a mood you wait for. It’s about where you place your attention and how you interpret the chaos around you.
You can’t control the headlines. You can’t control other people. You definitely can’t control every outcome. But you can choose what story you’re living inside. Joy builds resilience. It protects your relationships from the friction stress creates. It gives you energy instead of draining what little you have.
Purim teaches this in such a dramatic way. The Scroll of Esther reads like a total political mess, hidden motives, power plays, and strange coincidences. G-D’s name doesn’t even appear once. And yet, everything turns around.
Haman’s plot to destroy the Jewish people becomes the very thing that elevates them. The gallows he builds for Mordechai becomes his own execution site. The decree meant to authorize genocide transforms into permission for Jewish self-defense and triumph. Esther, who hid her identity out of fear, becomes the hero precisely because of that hidden identity. What looked like the end of the story was actually just the middle, and the reversal was total. Joy is the refusal to believe that the surface story is the final one. So, how do you actually choose it?
Decide That Joy Is Not Optional
If you treat joy like a nice extra, it’s the first thing to go when life gets hard. Try to see joy as part of your emotional responsibility. The Jewish month of Adar shows you not to wait for joy to show up, it tells you to increase it. That implies effort.
Catch One Hidden Good Each Day
Purim is built on things being masked. Start looking for small reversals, the meeting that got canceled right when you needed to breathe, or a tough conversation that finally cleared the air. Train your eyes to notice what might be quietly working in your favor.
Loosen Your Grip
Costumes on Purim remind you that your identity isn’t as rigid as you think. If you’re holding on too tightly to one specific outcome or one version of how things should go, try to soften a little. Joy enters more easily when your need for control relaxes.
Strengthen One Connection
Make that call you’ve been putting off. Text a friend you haven’t spoken to in months just to say you’re thinking of them. Joy expands when you’re in relationship with others; isolation shrinks it.
Move Your Body
Joy is physical. We dance on Purim for a reason. Put on music while you’re cooking, or walk a little faster than usual. Sometimes your body leads and the mood follows.
Interrupt the Negative Narratives
Notice the broken record in your head. “This always happens” or “Nothing works out.” Stop and ask: Is that actually 100% true? The Scroll of Esther teaches that there are hidden layers. Leave room for the story to unfold differently.
Give Generously
Whether it’s money, time, or encouragement. Purim centers on giving because generosity shifts you out of your own head. When you contribute to someone else’s joy, something inside you expands.
Allow Real Emotion
Choosing joy isn’t about suppressing frustration. Adar doesn’t erase reality, it adds dimension to it. Let yourself feel what’s real, and then gently point yourself back toward what’s possible.
Mark the Small Wins
You finished a project, kept your patience, or made it through a rough week. Light a candle or share dessert. Say, “That mattered.” Celebrating the small things builds momentum.
Create One Daily Habit of Gratitude
It doesn’t need to be a long list. Just one acknowledgment, said out loud or written down. Gratitude trains your attention. What you look for, you start to see.
Adar isn’t about pretending life is easy. It’s about remembering that reversals are possible, that hidden good exists, and that joy can be built, even before your circumstances change. You don’t have to transform your whole personality this month. Just increase. A little more warmth. A little more generosity. A little more lightness. Sometimes that small increase is what begins the reversal. q
