Bringing our community together, one match at a time….
Sophia Franco
When I was a teenager, back in the early 1980’s the only opportunities for singles to meet were over the summer, in the Deal Casino, and at the parties that followed later in the evenings. The community was small, and basically, everyone knew everyone. The crisp summer air put us in a good mood, everyone was invited, and there was always someone to hang out with in Aisle A, or years later, at the beach. It was daylight, no alcohol involved, and no music blasting. It was high pressure then, too, don’t get me wrong- endless laps around parties and weddings were the norm, and often we’d still go home alone, but it was also very innocent. We’d get real dates then, and some of my friends would juggle two or three guys at a time. I’m smiling just thinking about it. We’d get one more chance over the high holidays when we dressed up for shul and saw the guys once again, but after that, aside from a few events, it was quiet until June rolled around once more.
Today, so much has changed. Baruch Hashem, the community has grown wings, and changes by leaps and bounds, every day. Along with the thousands of “mainstream” people, there are more observant and less observant, Persians and Lebanese, Israelis, Mexicans, Panamanians and more. Everybody does NOT know everybody, and sometimes I find myself at a wedding recognizing no one at all. It’s beautiful to behold the magnificence of our growth, but many singles today would not even attend a party with mixed dancing. Those that would, find themselves mingling among the same crowds, repeatedly. Even the most successful parties are depressing for so many.
People are calling it a dating crisis. We are 80,000 strong now as a community. Harry Adjmi recently said, “We have so many weddings, but really, we should have so many more.” I don’t want to sound all doom and gloom, but there are thousands of singles, and the same names are mentioned repeatedly. Others are simply forgotten and fall through the cracks. I believe that every person reading this knows a single, or two, or ten, waiting to get married. Whether single and young, single and old, divorced, widowed, with kids, or without kids; everyone has someone they wish they could help, but how?
In 2019, while opening a post-high school seminary called Shalshelet under the leadership of Rabbi David Ozeri, Kim Dabah began to see the bigger picture — so many incredible young people, both in and beyond the seminary world, were struggling to find their match.
“My ‘why’ became clear: I wanted to help more singles get married,” says Kim. “I didn’t want to just guide them; I wanted them to feel noticed, supported, and get matched. It wasn’t about one demographic or background. It was about building a platform that could serve the full scope of the community.”
With Rabbi Ozeri’s guidance, Kim connected with leaders of other successful initiatives, including Rabbi Moshe Pogrow of the NASI Project who was very helpful. Drawing from their best practices and the community’s unique needs, she envisioned something new.
That vision became Mekudeshet. When she shared her plan with Rabbi David Ozeri, Rabbi Meir Yedid, Rabbi Joey Haber, Rabbi Raymond Haber, and Rabbi Shaul Haber, they didn’t hesitate —parents were pleading for help at every turn, and alone, they couldn’t help them all. They saw the same need she did and formed its rabbinical board. Singles were waiting. It was time.
The word Mekudeshet means, sanctified and betrothed, and was the perfect name for this new and improved gateway to help so many. The Mekudeshet app was launched in August 2023 and in July of 2024 the first fundraiser was held in Jennifer and Isaac Sitt’s home, introducing the concept to the community at large. The app has been building and evolving, and today, there are over 3,500 community singles on the Mekudeshet app, aged 19-99.
Rabbi Shaul Haber, the overseeing rabbi, explains, “For a hundred years, what we were doing was working, but now the community is so big, unfortunately hundreds of people are getting lost in the shuffle and it’s discouraging. If a young man sees a girl, all he knows is what’s in front of him. He doesn’t know anything about her family or background. This organization is changing everything. In the first year we had 94 matches. Today we have 220! That’s more than double; about one engagement, every third day. There used to be stigmas about matchmakers, but today, they are known to be sensitive and intuitive; a lifeline for many. Initially we had 40 matchmakers working on this. Now, we have 80.
We are providing an atmosphere for them to pool their ideas while giving them guidance, tools, and incentive for success. With Hashem’s help, it’s working.”
So, how does the Mekudeshet app work? It’s simple. It starts with the click of a button. Visit mekudeshet.org from your phone or computer. Press, “add a single,” and enter your information. You can add yourself or your child, or even someone you know who could use a little push. Our staff monitors the site, and if you enter yourself, you become one of our “private clients,” and get the first line of attention. Once you are approved as a community member, you can expect a call soon. You’ll be assigned a matchmaker based on demographic, and she/he will talk with you about your likes and dislikes, your wants and needs. Your “I can’t live without” and your “I can’t live with.” Once that is out of the way, your matchmaker can get to work.
Margo Braha, a Mekudeshet matchmaker, loves the tech savviness of the app. She explains, “It is so well tailored and organized. I can filter by age, school, location and yes, even by height. It even highlights clearly if someone is a ‘Cohen,’ (because for a divorced girl, that’s a no-no). Everyone is vetted and has a reliable reference. It’s sleek, efficient and easy to maneuver. And rest assured, this is not a dating app, and there is no swiping left. Only the matchmakers can view the profiles.
“Privacy is a huge priority. Every matchmaker and team member signs an NDA. We follow the highest standards of confidentiality and are super mindful of every person on the app. The most intimidating part of this process for singles is that someone will get their information, but honestly, it’s impossible. They’ve adopted the latest bank technology so that a matchmaker cannot even take a screenshot to send to someone. If they try to, it appears black. If someone tries to take a photo with another device, a watermark appears on it with their name, so the Mekudeshet team knows who’s sharing it. The app also allows us to make our own private notes, so if we come across a new single, or a friend suggests a match, we can be reminded to investigate later. I really believe we are making more connections because of the process.”
Rabbi Shaul continues, “To be a matchmaker, you must be a “ba’al chesed,” a person looking to help others and do good. Everyone on the team here has one objective. How can we do better and pair up more of our singles? We have matchmakers who were around before Mekudeshet, and new matchmakers, too. They meet in small groups and connect daily to network and trade names. It seems obvious, but kindness is a quiet yet essential part of how our matchmakers are encouraged to engage with singles. It’s very important; we want to make things less stressful, not more.
“Sometimes it’s all about perspective. A fresh pair of eyes may be all that’s needed to see the possibilities. Mekudeshet also provides counseling to our singles, if needed. It may be a therapist, rabbi, or dating coach. We ask, why aren’t their dates working? How can we help? It’s important to be sensitive to everyone’s needs. Baruch Hashem, there is also something we call, ‘The Mekudeshet Effect.’ Somehow when we bring up names, things happen for them; I’m sure Hashem is listening, too.”
Renee Shalom Husney was one of the first mainstream brides to have been set up by a matchmaking service 18 years ago. She’s modern, and it was unusual for her to take that route, but her friends pushed her, and it worked. When she heard that Mekudeshet was open to new matchmakers she jumped at the chance. She explains, “My goal is for these young men and women to feel respected, heard and confident. I know how hard it is out there, and I get it. I love the team; everyone is embracing and helpful and brings something new to the table. We bounce ideas off each other, and each of us brings a different energy or technique. At one meeting alone I was able to arrange dates for four different clients. I have such respect for everyone involved. We are changing people’s lives.”
The Mekudeshet app is a beautiful tool and simply, it helps the matchmakers to make better matches, more often. Rabbi Joey Haber explains, “The world has just gotten too complicated to meet people the old-fashioned way. The opportunities are not there, and young girls and boys are feeling desperate much sooner than they ever did before. There’s not one school or demographic that’s immune, no matter their religiosity, financial status or friend group. Their loneliness is the same. This organization is about hope. We want every community single to know, we do have your back, we do care about you.”
The key is for EVERYONE to sign up. Kim explains, “We have 50-100 people adding themselves every month, and 80 couples dating on the app as we speak. We are a demanding community, but we have the most dedicated matchmakers in the world, on call no matter what time of day or where they are. They are unspoken heroes doing holy work, because it’s not all about profiles and resumes. Ultimately, we all know that Hashem makes the matches.”
Mekudeshet is helping both matchmakers and singles find success. You sit near someone in shul or a class, you chat with your friends throughout your day, and everyone is praying for their kids to get happily married and to bring us grandchildren. It’s what we pray for most. Matchmakers are not the little old ladies from Fiddler on the Roof anymore. It’s a new world. Mekudeshet’s mission is to match everyone in our community, and it should be your mission too.
I know that I’ve already gotten six singles to add themselves, so I implore you, tell a friend. Mekudeshet is
changing the game.
Good afternoon! I would like to tell the whole team of Mekudeshet that a very prominent rabbi said to have Hashem’s (hashgacha peratit), first we need to do our hishtadlut (our due diligence) and only then Hashem’s intervention takes over.
Hakadosh Baruch Hu wants us to become a partner with Him and make matches!
I just want to thank you so so much for helping us and the community in this important work!
I saw a name of a girl on Mekudeshet, I called her mother… suggested a boy… she was floored and so happy that someone called her. She was so appreciative—she said she hardly gets calls! She’s going out this week!
Thank you so much again…
A proud Mekudeshet matchmaker
Dear Mekudeshet,
I’m a community father with four children. My third daughter was divorced early in her marriage and truly believed she’d never get remarried. We had no idea how to get her on a date now; specially after we lost my wife- it felt like we were all alone.
I called my rabbi who thought for a minute and suggested we add my daughter to Mekudeshet.
Quickly, quietly, without making a big deal, you stepped in. We got a call and a few weeks later she was matched at first with someone that didn’t work out but she was able to see herself getting married! She had hope and some confidence. Third time was a charm! She was matched with someone who understood her, respected her, and didn’t judge her for her past. It wasn’t instant, and it wasn’t simple—but the matchmakers she worked with didn’t forget about her.
You kept following up, even when we weren’t sure what to hope for.
When things finally started moving, the dating went as smoothly as one would pray for. And now, Baruch Hashem, she’s married to a good man my wife a’h would be proud of.
Thank you for being there when we didn’t even realize how much we needed the support through the process.
You made a difference in our lives.
With gratitude,
Anonymous
