RENA LANIADO
For the past 40 years I’ve worked with and written about children and their families. My world consisted of my own kids, your kids and everybody else’s kids. My articles were about “How to fit in, how to improve grades, how to parent, how to achieve success…” My philosophy has always been to write what you know about. I’ve graduated from school and kids and now I’m conquering what I feel and what I know is aging. I’ve been talking endlessly to folks about what they feel and how they feel about getting older. Counseling my peers has been a very humbling experience. We’re facing the aging process together with the clear knowledge we’re in the last trimester, baby.
I’ve joined several chats dealing with the issues of aging. My favorite chat group is one I joined with my aging cousins. We share genetics and a common history. My cousin Debra shared, “We are the elders now.” And it’s really a sobering thought. My Aunt Rose called it the tarnished years. Recently, I recalled a conversation I had with my dad. He went to look for his older brother at a resort. The concierge said the only Mr Levin staying here is an elderly gentleman. My Dad looked at me and said, let’s go, he’s not here, unable to accept that his sibling was an elderly gentleman.
We joke about what life will be like in the old age home. Someone says, “pass the bread,” and ten people want to know who’s dead. I’ve done dozens of interviews with my fellow Boomers and one in particular stands out. An 80 something, ex-military man who served in the equivalent to the CIA made a fantastic transition. He planted a garden which turned into an orchid and he and his wife spent 60% of their day weeding, seeding, and planting together.
Step one in the process is navigating the world of 2024 and all the technological advancements. This isn’t easy for us Boomers. I’m a writer and for the past 30 years pen and paper worked fine. Welcome to 2024 and this baby boomer has graduated to a Mac! However, the complexities of navigating this high tech world hasn’t been easy. There are hundreds of passwords to remember, accessing documents and retrieving lost information has been quite the challenge. Luckily I’m the parent of four highly intelligent middle aged adults and the grandparent of several millennials and gen zees. They’re usually the only help I need. However, once after a few unsuccessful attempts to reach my relatives, I scored an appointment at the Apple Store. G-d bless the young man who helped me. He had the patience of a saint. When we finished I asked him,”Do you have a grandma?“ He replied, ”I do,” I told him, “if she asks for help, help her.”
Watching TV, or should I say turning on the TV, should be relaxing, but for some it has become a job. Last summer while visiting a cousin I actually tutored her in turning on her set. She wrote down lengthy, step-by-step notes. Today she proudly called me with the news she can actually manage without the notes.
The pandemic and Covid changed the world for all of us. Yes, it’s been years, but it has impacted on all of us. It was a difficult adjustment especially for seniors. Most of us never did online shopping. Personally, I like to walk the aisles, pick my own products and feel the fruit. No more casual walks to the boardwalk or schmoozing with friends. If your hearing is not great you miss the whole conversation, especially if someone is wearing a mask. If you’re lucky enough to have a spouse the togetherness is stifling. Loneliness and isolation were the byproduct of this new stage in everyone’s life. The effects have been stunning and lingering on.
