VICTORIA & MEYER SAFDIEH ARE ON A SPECIAL NEEDS MISSION FOR HASHEM

SARINA ROFFÉ

OFTEN, THE PASSION WE HAVE IN OUR LIVES IS AN OUTGROWTH OF A UNIQUE EXPERIENCE, ONE THAT SETS US APART FROM OTHERS. SUCH WAS THE CASE FOR VICTORIA AND MEYER SAFDIEH, FOUNDERS IN 2013 OF C.A.R.E. FOR SPECIAL NEEDS CHILDREN.

When a family is faced with caring for and ensuring that the special needs child gets the services they need, it can be overwhelming. The parents go through stages of grief, expectations for their child that will not come to fruition, as they are faced with making a multitude of decisions, finding services, doctors and the right school placement. Beyond that, there are day-to-day challenges at home, such as the relationship with siblings, and managing expectations. The stress takes a toll on the entire family.

“What makes C.A.R.E. so unique is that it was created as a result of living with a need,” said Meyer. “When you have a child with special needs, you understand the struggle others are going through and the challenges they face.”

Few people understand what they are facing on a daily basis. Parents feel alone, because they have no one in their immediate family and friend circle who might understand what they are going through. The same is true of siblings who feel alone because they don’t know someone else who has a sibling with learning challenges.

“We had to figure it out ourselves because there was no one to help us,” said Victoria. “We felt very alone; it was daunting, but we were convinced that there must be many other community families that shared similar struggles.”

“Understanding the struggle and challenge of having children with special needs and the effect it had on our family prompted us to start something,” said Meyer. “The inspiration, and the beautiful part of the story, is that instead of letting our challenges break our spirits — we used them to fuel something good and to help others.”

C.A.R.E. was founded in 2013. It stands for Community, Advocacy, Resources and Encouragement — four of the many things the organization has come to stand for. There are also extras that no one thinks about that can be too much to handle, like paperwork, government demands for documentation, accessing benefits, figuring out which doctors to use, which school, choosing a therapist — each item has to be dealt with and managed.

He continued, “I believe that unlike what most people think, it’s precisely in the areas that challenge you most in your life that you will find your opportunity to do something special and make a difference.”

“We didn’t want people to have to reinvent the wheel and have to figure out everything themselves. When a family comes to C.A.R.E., we have an intake meeting to understand the entire situation so we can help them with whatever they need,” said Victoria. “And with the help of Hashem, C.A.R.E. has grown to be a support network for over 500 families!”

C.A.R.E. has in house social workers for children and parents, identifies appropriate school placement, helps apply for eligible benefits, makes appointments and completes paperwork. C.A.R.E. runs a host of programs for children with special needs as well as programs for siblings and parents, and features an extensive staff at its building on Coney Island Avenue, each with a unique set of skills needed to guide families. C.A.R.E. families have a unique but similar struggle and everyone feels better when they are connected with others who have gone through similar experiences. CARE has become the community’s center and base for special needs families.

“We hold their hand and encourage them throughout the process,” Meyer said. “We encourage parents by reminding them how unique they are and how special they have become as a result of their struggle, and how Hashem chose them for the important mission of raising a special child. While the challenge is real, these children always come along with a ‘silver lining’ and with time, the blessings will be apparent.”

Both Victoria and Meyer were raised with the critical family value to do hesed for others. Meyer’s father, Ronnie Safdieh, helped found Yeshiva Keter Torah in New Jersey. Victoria’s father Jimmy and grandfather, Ralph Hanan, were instrumental in starting community synagogues. Ralph was president of Congregation Har Lebanon and later Shaare Ezra Shul in Long Branch. Their mothers hosted meetings at their home, providing hospitality and warmth to help the organizations grow.

A genealogist and historian, Sarina Roffé is the author of Branching Out from Sepharad (Sephardic Heritage Project, 2017), Sarina holds a BA in Journalism, and MA in Jewish Studies and an MBA.