SIMONE HIDARY, PsyD
ON THE MISTY EVENING OF JULY 13TH, OVER 300 PARENTS AND EDUCATORS GATHERED AT THE HOME OF CORIE AND MARK ADJMI TO LEARN ABOUT HOW TO RAISE RESILIENT CHILDREN IN TODAY’S CULTURE OF DEPENDENCE.
In addition to a delicious dinner and dessert prepared by our own community chefs, attendees had the privilege of hearing from Jessica Lahey, the author of The New York Times best seller The Gift of Failure: How Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed, and most recently, The Addiction Inoculation: Raising Healthy Kids In A Culture of Dependence. Parents of children of all ages learned key insights regarding how to foster resiliency in their children and many left with copies of Jessica’s books signed by the author herself!
The event was organized by the Safe Parenting Committee, a relatively new initiative within the context of the broader SAFE Foundation, whose mission is to provide community parents with the tools and strategies needed to create strong, confident and independent children. The committee is led by Corie Adjmi, a SAFE board member, who works together with a core group of community women to organize speakers, parent workshops, and book clubs. The ultimate goal of these events is to better educate parents on how to raise children who can manage their own anxiety and insecurities. Research shows that resilient children who possess coping skills will eventually develop into adults who are likely better able to navigate the pressure of the world without feeling the need to turn to outside substances and possibly form addictions. Jessica Lahey’s books and beliefs are truly aligned with this mission, and the committee worked for years to have her come and directly address community parents.
During her talk, Jessica highlighted the main points of both The Gift of Failure and The Addiction Inoculation. Through her own personal stories and comical anecdotes, Jessica demonstrated the importance of thinking about our own parenting and how we define ourselves as “good parents.” Most of the time, we consider ourselves to be at our best when we are doing things for our children, helping them overcome obstacles, and eliminating frustrations that come their way. Jessica made a strong case for moving away from that paradigm. She argued that allowing our children to face adversity, and sometimes even fail, is the only way that our kids will develop the necessary life skills and coping mechanisms that will help them navigate challenging situations that they will inevitably encounter throughout their lifetimes.
Jessica then moved on to describe the core messages of her latest book, The Addiction Inoculation. The book is a narrative that combines her own personal history of having a substance use disorder with the latest research focused on adolescents and addiction. Jessica shared the various risk factors found to be associated with addiction, including family history of addiction, adverse life experiences, and periods of transition. On the protective end, parents and schools play a key role in mitigating these risks, mainly by teaching children essential life skills and coping strategies for difficult situations and emotions.
Perhaps most importantly, Jessica highlighted that parents who send a clear and consistent message that they do not support their children trying alcohol or other substances until they are of legal age, raise children with a lower risk of developing substance use disorders. The reason for this is multifaceted. Alcohol and substances negatively affect adolescent brains in a different way than adult brains, literally changing the brain composition and making individuals more prone to developing disorders. In addition, research consistently shows that the younger children are when they first try alcohol and/or other substances, the higher their risk is for developing a problem in the future. It is best to delay this “first time” for as long as possible.
We would like to thank Corie and Mark Adjmi for graciously opening their home and hosting the event, as well as Joyce Ashkenazi, Paulette Cohen, Rachel Harari and Simone Hidary, the members of the SAFE Parenting Committee. In addition, the event would not have been possible without the help of Norma Cohen, Lorayne Shehebar, Ruthie Terzi, Marjorie Eida, Lauren Bibi and all of the community chefs who contributed to the delicious dinner.
Be sure to follow Safe Parenting on instagram@safe_parenting and stay tuned for upcoming events!
Simone Hidary, PsyD, earned her Bachelor’s Degree in Psychology and her PsyD in School-Clinical-Child Psychology. She has taken a special interest in enhancing the parent child relationship within families in our community and has developed different creative programs to help parents learn about child development and implement effective parenting techniques.
