Giving Dignity To Families Who Need It Most
Over the past few decades, B”H, our community has been very fortunate. Our institutions grew, our stores have expanded, our schools and synagogues have been renovated. We go on Pesach trips, throw extravagant weddings, engagement parties, hold large-scale sebets for our families, life, generally speaking, has improved. That is not the case across the board, however. There are families in our community who struggle to put food on the table. There are those who, just barely getting by, cannot afford a Shabbat meal or something extra for our many Jewish holidays, and must, heart-wrenchingly, find ways to explain to their children why they cannot do so.
In a world such as ours, this seems impossible. In our community, which has been the beneficiary of prosperity, how are people struggling to fulfill their most basic needs? Thankfully, organizations exist to help support those who need it. For this issue specifically, that of supporting the dignity of families, helping them put Shabbat meals on the table and setting up for our holidays, Tomchei Shabbat has been a crucial organization in helping families maintain their dignity for the past 25 years, doing so behind the scenes, silently helping many families in our community. Now, Tomchei Shabbat needs the community’s help to continue doing the good that it does.
What is Tomchei Shabbat?
Tomchei Shabbat, like we just mentioned, is a quiet organization. They care about the dignity of those who use their services, so they do not advertise too much. That being said, the work that they do is highly meaningful, bringing comfort and hope to many families across the Jewish world.
Based out of Lakewood, Tomchei Shabbos is a $14 million organization, supporting over 2,400 families at different tiers, depending on each family’s specific financial needs. The level with the most assistance is the “weekly section,” meaning that the family comes in once a week for help with Shabbat. One level above that is the “monthly section,” where families who need less help making ends meet receive assistance. Finally, there is the “holiday-only section,” where those who need support to bring the holidays together get the help that they need.
They have a warehouse for the weekly/monthly sections. Lines extend out into the highway for food from them, including people from our community who need the support as well.
What sets Tomchei Shabbat apart from other organizations is that they directly provide food. While other organizations may give spending power to families in need, Tomchei Shabbat leverages both their infrastructure and location to provide the most food that they can at minimal cost to them. Being based out of Lakewood, and having access to cheaper food, Tomchei Shabbat provides more food for those who need it and to more people. They work efficiently and keep everything quiet, preserving the dignity of their families.
Our community has gone to Tomchei Shabbat for 25 years, with the assistance of Rabbi Ben Sion Kaye. Rabbi Kaye did these deliveries himself for 25 years. Behind the scenes, he helped sustain members of our community through holidays, Shabbatot, and other occasions, ensuring that nobody is embarrassed and everyone is well-fed.
Tomchei Shabbat Jersey Shore
As time went on, unfortunately, more and more people from our community needed Tomchei Shabbat’s help and support. Rabbi Bension Kaye started out by delivering Pesach meals to 35 families, and sadly, the number ended up tripling as time went on. And for 25 years, Tomchei Shabbat out of Lakewood handled it all themselves. Around Pesach time of this year, however, Tomchei Shabbat spoke with Rabbi Kaye and explained that in order to continue providing food to members of our community, they needed our help and support.
Rabbi Kaye quickly convened a meeting with all of the Rabbis of the Jersey Shore to discuss this new development. They quickly reached a decision to move forward and open up a new Sephardic Division of Tomchei Shabbat. It would be led by Abie Tawil as the director of development, who resides with his wife Susan in Deal. This would become Tomchei Shabbat of the Jersey Shore.
Immediately, they hit the ground running. They were in the community’s synagogues with drives every single week. They held many conversations with donors and raised significant amounts of money to go to families in need.
“When we help others welcome the Shabbat, we’re welcoming blessing and peace into our homes,” Hymie Dana, who is heavily involved with Tomchei Shabbat, said. “Supporting Tomchei Shabbat is definitely a source of beracha (blessing) for our homes.”
“Helping to feed those in need is one of the biggest mitzvot,” Ricky Esses, who is also involved, added, “but giving a sense of joy and hope to these families on Shabbat and holidays is the greatest mitzvah. We must continue taking care of our community, and we must first start with those most in need. Tomchei Shabbat of the Jersey Shore does that.”
Many Rabbis quickly got involved as well, speaking positively about the organization’s work and what it does.
“Tomchei Shabbat gives a tremendous amount of relief to these families who cannot imagine what they are going to do for Shabbat,” Rabbi Shaul Kassin said.
“It is unimaginable in our eyes,” Rabbi David Ozeri said, “but it really exists. We know for a fact that there are people in our community who cannot put food on the table for Shabbat.”
“There are families in our community that live down the block from you and me who can’t look forward to Friday night,” Rabbi Joey Haber said. “Tomchei Shabbat will ensure that every family in Deal is able to have the gift that all of us have.”
“We have an organization in our community called Tomchei Shabbat of the Jersey Shore that actually gives food to families throughout the year,” Rabbi Shlomo Diamond said.
“I personally know many people that once they receive the boxes from Tomchei Shabbat, how relieved they are, like a huge stress is taken off their head,” Rabbi Douek said.
“It is very integral for us to support Tomchei Shabbat because they support our community,” Rabbi Eli Mansour said.
“This amazing organization gives people basic necessities,” Rabbi Joey Mizrahi added. “Not luxuries, but basic needs that they need for weekdays, Shabbat, and just to live life with dignity.”
“Tomchei Shabbat embodies the highest form of tzedakah, giving with such discretion and dignity that families can rebuild their lives without shame, knowing their community stands behind them in their time of need,” Rabbi Avi Harari said.
“Tomchei Shabbat is an organization that provides vital assistance to the families in need in our Jersey Shore community. Especially helpful are their food distributions during holiday times when expenses are high,” Rabbi Reuven Semah said. “Please donate generously.”
“It is an honor to recommend Tomchei Shabbat, an organization which beautifully exemplifies the Torah values of caring for those in need,” Rabbi Aviad Bar Hen said. “With dignity and compassion, they ensure that every family has access to Shabbat meals, fulfilling the sacred mitzvah of ma’achil re’evim (feeding the hungry).”
“When food comes straight to the table it gets eaten. This is the most powerful and direct mitzvah you can do!” Rabbi Arking
“It’s a tremendous organization- the community needs to rally behind it. This organization needs money from our community to keep it going.” Ralph Shalom
“Tomchei Shabbat is a lifeline for families in our Jersey Shore community, ensuring that no home goes without the joy and dignity of Shabbat and holiday meals.” Rabbi David Tawil
“A great rabbi in the Gemara provided for the poor, as did his wife. They were saved from danger through his wife’s merit. He asked why her zechut saved them, and she answered: “You give money, but I give food that is immediately beneficial.” That is Tomchei Shabbat—they provide food to those in need, the greatest mitzvah possible!” Rabbi Choueka
“By donating food, we emulate the kindness of Hakadosh Baruch Hu. May we all merit to participate in Tomchei Shabbat of the Jersey Shore to assist our fellow community members.” Rabbi Isaac Farhi
“Let us open our hands and hearts to support both the physical and emotional needs of our community, giving Tomchei Shabbat the resources to continue this holy work.” Rabbi Joey Sultan
Many other Rabbis voiced their strong support for the organization, including Rabbi Shmuel Choueka, Rabbi David Tawil, Rabbi David Sutton, Rabbi David Nakash, Rabbi David Ashear, Rabbi Raymond Beyda, Rabbi David Serouyah, and Rabbi Meyer Yedid.
Last month, to help cap off the momentum, they held their inaugural event at the home of Franny and Morris Beyda. This was a beautiful event with many inspirational speakers from all areas of the community, coming together unified for a common cause.
Recap of Tomchei Shabbat’s Kickoff Event
At this fundraising event, Rabbi Moshe Malka opened by discussing how important it is to avoid the things which avoid blessing from Hashem (G-D), such as excessive anxiety, worrying, and ingratitude. If you receive a blessing from Hashem, you must share it.
The work that Tomchei Shabbat does, by easing the worries and neediness of families and sharing the berachot (blessings) of our community with those who could use our help, is an organization which, B”H, will be highly successful.
Abie Tawil spoke next. “Through these few weeks,” he explained, “I realized that we had to create this as a community. There are over 100 families who need our help. We have the sources, the distribution, and the mechanics to continue it. So we have to, and we have to save the ones who call the Rabbis saying ‘we can’t afford to live without it.’ It’s so special that we have our community to step up and help our people.”
Shmuel Kairey spoke after Abie, telling a story about a man looking for Eliyahu Hanavi (the Prophet Elijah). The man asked the Baal Shem Tov (founder of the Chassidic movement), “I’d like to meet Eliyahu Hanavi. Where can I find him?” The Baal Shem Tov replied that if he bought food on Thursday, went to a certain town with the food on Friday, and asked around for somebody to host him for Shabbat, then he would find Eliyahu Hanavi.
So, the man went to the town with food, and like the Baal Shem Tov said, he asked around for a place to stay for Shabbat, and ended up in a house with an orphan and a widow. It was a beautiful Shabbat. However, by the end of Shabbat, the man could not find Eliyahu Hanavi. He went back to the Baal Shem Tov, and the Baal Shem Tov told him to do the same thing that he did last week. The man bought food again, and went back to the town. This time, already knowing the orphan and widow, he stayed by them once again for an amazing Shabbat. However, once again, he did not meet Eliyahu Hanavi! The Baal Shem Tov told him to go back once more, and so he made his way back to the town with more food.
This time, the window to the orphan’s house was open. Listening in, he could hear the orphan, lying weakly in bed, say to the widow, “I’m very sick, I don’t know what to do.”
The widow replied: “Hashem will send Eliyahu Hanavi again this Shabbat. He sent him the past two weeks, Hashem will send him again!”
This time, the man did not look for Eliyahu Hanavi, as he understood what the Baal Shem Tov was trying to teach him. If you want to meet Eliyahu Hanavi, you should be like him. Take care of the orphan, take care of the widow, help those who cannot help themselves. With the work of Tomchei Shabbat, “we are emulating Eliyahu Hanavi,” and with the help of Hashem they will continue to help others.
Harry Adjmi, afterwards, led the fundraising rounds, speaking on his relationship with Rabbi Kaye, saying, “I don’t believe there is a single Jew in the world who Rabbi Kaye does not have empathy for.”
“You couldn’t have heard more,” he emphasized. “Every Rabbi in the community, whether they were on Joe Mansour’s video, or they came this morning, they showed up to support Tomchei Shabbat.”
Rabbi Yedid also spoke at the event, emphasizing the important role that Jews have in the world:
What makes Jews different from every other nation? Is it because they can do big things? “I did not choose you for your ability for big things. Everywhere you go you do big things. In Torah, in chochma (wisdom), financially, but that’s not why Hashem chose us. Hashem chose us because even when we are so big, when we get bigger, we ask more of ourselves.” Jews say “I have a lot, I have so much, I’m not doing enough!” According to Rabbi Yedid, one of the most special qualities of a Jew is their ability to continue doing more.
Tomchei Shabbat continues to do more, for now and the future. The demand for it has not gone away, but has increased instead. “Since I started raising we’ve gotten dozens of calls from people you’d never think of. The father’s trying to work and trying to make it work, even the mother is working, or a lot of them are almanot (widows) or divorcees.” People come to Tomchei Shabbat at their lowest, and it’s up to Tomchei Shabbat to help give these families the support that they need to get back on their feet.
Whatever it is, whether a parent passes away or the father loses his job, Tomchei Shabbat is there to pick people up and help them rise once again, granting them much-needed dignity and discretion while doing so. It is a beautiful organization, and B”H, Tomchei Shabbat of the Jersey Shore will have the means to aid anybody who calls on them for help.
