AN ANONYMOUS OLDER SINGLE
THEY SAY THERE ARE A LOT MORE FISH IN THE SEA. BUT WHEN YOU TAKE A LOOK AT THE SEA, IT IS IMPOSSIBLE NOT TO BE CYNICAL, TO SEE THE FISH ALL STRUGGLING, DESPERATE TO GET OUT OF THE WATER, TO BE PLACED IN THEIR OWN LITTLE TANK WITH JUST ONE OTHER.
The jaded heart does not comfort easily and the bruises acquired through years of experience never really go away. So you jump in the sea and give each fish in it a blinding flash of attention before turning to the next, never fully focusing on one too long, afraid to get hurt yet again. Afraid to be given the fraction of attention by ones who have been hurt just like you.
All of the scar-free fish have already been snatched, mostly when they were young and serene, not a care in the world, just starting out. They gave their pure hearts to the one who loved them, never asking questions, never hesitating to share their heart with someone else, that special someone they would do anything for and their loved one’s heart is equally shared in return.
All those left in the sea are the ones with broken fins, shattered hearts, fragmented souls too afraid but yearning for one just as bruised as they are to give them a chance, to give their attention to them for a moment, to pause and look into their eyes, the windows leading to their hurting soul, to give comfort and to make the choice to swim away to their very own little fish tank, away from the vast sea, where all of the other fish still swim, circling each other and waiting for another to give it all they’ve got. The chance of that happening should be high. After all, there are a lot more fish in the sea.
Sadly, surrounded by others yet totally alone, they never find comfort in each other’s company. They are strangers, never stopping long enough to find out what makes the other special, to form a bond that might connect their two hearts as one. Instead, they keep searching for one with fewer scars, who may be more beautiful, carefree, or perfect in some way.
The search never ends, a continuous journey of disappointments and longing, the waters surrounding them infused with fear of the unknown, swirling with regret and deep despair.
I ask you not to be afraid. I ask you to find just one, and make the choice to give it all you’ve got, so that you can swim away together to a tank of your very own. I ask you to leave the sea. The sea hurts the fish that are in it. The longer they are in there, the more dulled and pained they become, never resting, never ceasing to search, to find what is already there, that one beautiful fish that has been swimming right in front of them all along.
Compromise, take turns before you even love them, and give with your whole heart, choosing to dedicate your time and attention to one special person. Love is a choice and staying with that person who brings healing and happiness to your soul is one that you make constantly.
It may not be easy, but it is far more rewarding and beautiful than swimming with no end in sight. Choose friendship, companionship, and love; they are stronger than the deepest currents of the ocean. Choose someone to hug and to hold, to laugh and to cry with, to hold hands with and stay connected to. Catch one you like and never let it go.
One day, my hope is that there are fewer fish in the sea.
