In addition to the usual social and educational stresses of going to school, kids are faced with a slew of other social stressors, including peer pressure and bullying. Talking with your children about these issues at age-appropriate times may help decrease their chances of becoming a victim.
It is also a good idea to talk with your child about how school is going. Regular communication will help you recognize problems early, before they get out of control and when it is easier to intervene. Does your child like going to school? Is he making friends? How are his grades? Is there anything he doesn’t like about school? What happens during breaks, such as recess, lunch and in-between classes? Break-time is when children are most likely to be unsupervised and when problems are likely to occur—so asking open ended questions about what happens during these times may help you recognize problem behaviors.
Other topics and issues you should review as your child goes back to school include:
Immunizations
Before your child goes to school, find and review his immunization records. Are his shots current? Many schools are rigid about not allowing children who do not meet their current immunization requirements to attend class. Preparing early and getting your child immunized can prevent a frantic call to your pediatrician and a rush to get shots.
What shots does your child need to attend kindergarten or the first grade? Consult with your family doctor.
Going to College
College-bound children, in addition to the routine immunization requirements, may need a meningitis shot. Consult with your physician.
If you’re worried about various peer-pressure issues unique to college students, your best bet is to talk to your child before he or she goes to college.
Many college-age students are being offered credit cards. These credit cards usually don’t require that a student works, they do not need parental approval and often come without any counseling on the importance of paying off the balance each month, how the interest rate works or the dangers of building up a big balance. Although a credit card is very convenient for students in college, educate your children about how they work and consider getting a card with a small credit limit, a monthly spending cap or get a joint card so that you can monitor the bills.
School Performance Problems
There are many reasons for children to underperform at school, including lack of motivation, problems at home or with peers, poor work habits or study skills, emotional and behavioral problems, learning disabilities (such as dyslexia), ADHD, anxiety, depression, etc. It is important to find the reason for your child’s poor performance and come up with a treatment plan.
Another reason to get your child help is that doing poorly in school can easily lead to problems with low self-esteem, behavioral problems and depression. It is sometimes difficult to figure out if a child’s problems at school are caused by other medical problems, such as depression, or if these other problems began due to their poor school performance. Children who do poorly at school may be under a lot of stress, and will develop different ways to cope. Some may externalize their feelings, which can lead to acting out or becoming the class clown. Other children will internalize their feelings, and will develop headaches and/or stomachaches. A thorough evaluation by an experienced professional is usually needed to correctly diagnose children with complex problems. When you realize your child has a problem at school, schedule a meeting with her teacher, talk with the school psychologist, counselor or your pediatrician. The most important thing is to begin to get help as soon as possible.
Bullies
Bullying is a big problem among school-age children. Since victims of bullies usually don’t seek help, it is important to look for signs that your child is being bullied, including trying to avoid going to school, having a change in his personality, or a change in his grades. Talking about bullying may also help prevent him from becoming a bully and let him know that he should tell an adult if he sees another child being bullied.
Medical Problems
Does your child have a chronic medical condition that may need to be addressed at school? Are his medications available at school? Does the school have a full-time health professional? Is there a backup plan in place if this designated person isn’t available? Does the school know what to do if his condition worsens? Are your emergency contact numbers current?
Having regular contact with the school nurse and/or other school personnel is a good idea, especially if your child has a serious condition.
School Transportation Safety
How will your child get to school? Will he take the bus, walk, ride his bike or drive? Each of these modes of transportation has its own safety risks that should be reviewed.
Is your child’s route to school safe? Does he have to cross any major roadways? Is he always supervised or with a friend? Does he know what to do if a stranger approaches him on the way to school?
Taking the time to make sure your child has a safe route to school, knows how to cross the street and has a safe place to go if a stranger approaches him, will help to make sure that he gets to school safely.
After School
What will your child do after school? Will he be home alone? Before you leave your child at home alone, you should make sure that he feels safe and comfortable and can handle the responsibility. Most children are not ready to be left alone until they are at least 11 or 12 years old, but it will depend on your child’s maturity level. You may want to gradually let him stay home alone for very short amounts of time to make sure he is ready.
He should know how to deal with situations that may arise while he is alone, like not to open the door if someone knocks, even if they say they are a policeman. Instead of opening the door in uncertain situations, he should know to call you first. Also review what to do in emergency situations.
Structure his time when he is home alone. Be clear about any chores, homework, or other things that he is supposed to do. Have a routine that he must perform when he gets home, including locking the door and checking in with you if possible.
Childproof the home. Lock away alcohol or medicines. Be clear about any restrictions that you may have, including not using the stove or other appliances.
Hopefully everyone will have a happy and safe new school year.
