The Messages Kids Carry for Life
Laura Shammah, MS, RDN
Summer is supposed to feel carefree. Ice cream trucks on the corner, late-night pizza after camp, amusement parks, BBQs, slushies at the pool, sticky watermelon hands, and family vacations centered around food and fun. Yet for many children, summer also becomes a season filled with subtle food anxiety.
Without realizing it, parents often become more focused on food and body image during the summer months. There is pressure around “summer bodies,” more exposure to swimsuits, disrupted routines, and constant access to treats. Conversations about food can quickly shift from joyful and relaxed to stressful and loaded.
Children notice everything. They hear the sigh after eating dessert. They hear “I was so bad this weekend.” They hear “Do you really need another ice cream?” They hear parents criticizing their own stomachs before going to the beach. Even when comments are not directed at them, children absorb the message that food is something to fear, control, earn, or feel guilty about.
The truth is, children are not supposed to spend their summers calculating, compensating, or worrying about every treat. Summer memories should not revolve around shame after pizza or anxiety over a popsicle.
One of the biggest mistakes parents make is turning certain summer foods into emotional events. Ice cream becomes “cheating.” Camp snacks become “junk.” Desserts become something children must “deserve.” Ironically, the more emotionally charged a food becomes, the more powerful and obsessive it often feels to a child.
When children believe treats are forbidden or highly restricted, they frequently become preoccupied with them. Some begin sneaking food. Others overeat whenever they get access to those foods outside the home. Some develop guilt around eating altogether. Over time, this can quietly shape a child’s relationship with food, hunger, and body image for years to come.
This does not mean nutrition no longer matters during the summer. Structure, nourishment, and balance are still important. But balance should feel calm, not controlling. Children benefit from seeing meals that include protein, fiber, healthy fats, and satisfying foods throughout the day so they are not arriving at every outing overly hungry and dysregulated. They benefit from predictable meals and snacks even when schedules are looser. They benefit from parents who model flexibility instead of fear.
Most importantly, they benefit from hearing neutral language around food. Instead of: “You already had enough.” Try: “Let’s make sure your body is also getting foods that help you feel energized and strong.” Instead of: “That’s unhealthy.” Try: “Different foods do different things for our bodies, and all foods can fit.” Instead of: “I need to work this off tomorrow.” Try: “That was delicious.”
Children also need parents to remember that appetite naturally changes during the summer. Some kids eat more because they are more active. Others graze more due to heat and changing schedules. Some ask for more frozen foods and lighter meals. This is normal. Bodies are not machines, and healthy eating does not look identical every single day.
Perhaps one of the greatest gifts we can give children is allowing food to remain connected to joy, culture, family, celebration, and trust instead of guilt and fear. Years from now, children will not remember the nutritional breakdown of the ice cream cone they had on a July afternoon. But they will remember how they felt eating it. They will remember whether food felt stressful or safe. Whether their bodies felt criticized or accepted. Whether summer felt like freedom or constant monitoring.
The goal is not raising children who eat perfectly. The goal is raising children who can enjoy food, trust themselves around it, and carry a peaceful relationship with eating long after summer ends.
