RABBI EZRA MAX
AS WE APPROACH ELUL AND THE JEWISH NEW YEAR, IT’S A TIME FOR REFLECTION AND INTROSPECTION. THE CHALLENGE IS THAT WE’RE HUMAN AND NO HUMAN WILL EVER BE PERFECT. IN FACT, EVEN THE MOST PIOUS TZADDIK WILL STUMBLE ALONG THE PATH OF LIFE. YOU MAY NOT FEEL LIKE THE MOST PIOUS JEW, AND YET, YOU JUST MIGHT BE. IT DEPENDS ON HOW YOU RELATE TO YOUR MISSTEPS ALONG THE WAY.
THE KEY IS TO KNOW WHERE YOU’RE HEADED
• Define your purpose as best you can.
• Know your values as they are your moral compass.
• Make choices that are in sync with this purpose based on your true values.
• Take steps towards achieving this purpose.
• Nurture yourself along the way.
It is important to remember that it is impossible to always get it all correct, and still always strive to do so. We know that whatever hishtadlus (personal effort) you make, whichever direction a person is headed, you are guided there with divine assistance.
We also know that Satan tries to convince us to give up hope, not believe in ourselves and feel depressed, hurt and lost. This is important to Satan because when we feel down, lost, hurt, lonely, and broken, then we feel like there’s no point—there’s no use in striving for more or to be better.
So, we don’t even attempt to improve. And this, my friend, is the biggest travesty. Because as long as you and I are alive, we always have a choice. We have a choice to take one step forward, an option to make amends, and a choice to improve and do what the Torah instructs us. You also can choose not to.
For example, my client Isaac is a young business owner with a team of about 26. He is building his business. He is clear about his market, the opportunities, the customers he wants to serve and the value he wants to create for them. Suddenly he is facing a huge dilemma. He can cheat a vendor and make a few extra bucks, or he can highlight the vendor’s mistake and maybe even take a loss. It’s a tough choice and it’s a choice that will have a lasting impact.
Most things in life are “caught, not taught.” Suppose Isaac makes a choice to cheat his vendor. In this case, it will potentially begin a downward spiral of becoming a dishonest businessman. Ultimately, he will not be happy with himself and will never believe in his own success. His neshama (soul) will always feel like he cheated his way to profitability.
Isaac made the tough choice. He made the correct choice. He said, ”My parnassa (income) was determined and sealed from Rosh Hashanah to Rosh Hashanah. This amount is not going to change without prayer and charity. Shady business and stealing will not increase my income and I can’t trick the Almighty. I prefer to be honest in business and stand tall and proud in my choices and relationships.”
This year, as Isaac approaches Elul and Rosh Hashanah He said, ”It was a challenging year and I feel fantastic about myself, the team and the business we are building.” He recognized a little dark side of himself and knows that he might be tempted again in the future. He prays that he will continue to make correct decisions. He took the high road because, at the end of the day, he wants to know that he did business honestly for himself, with his employees, his customers and vendors. He can sleep at night knowing that he made a Kiddush Hashem.
The economy seems to be crashing and it looks like we’re headed for a bumpy road ahead. Know this dear friend, Hashem is always in charge and running the show. Nothing is too big for him to handle. It’s all just a test for you and me. Hashem has enough money, and ways to send it, for us to all be wealthy. There’s absolutely no reason to do something we shouldn’t, even when times are tough. During economic dips, it’s crucial to keep your head above water to maintain your faith and be hopeful. Keep to the basics, pray, give charity and do acts of kindness to keep the cycle of giving and receiving healthy.
Remember this, during down economies, some people become millionaires and billionaires. I pray this will be you.
With Rosh Hashanah almost upon us, I’m asking myself—and you—these questions.
• What are you going to accomplish?
• Who are you going to become this year?
• How will you positively impact the world next year?
Here are some coaching tips to best find clarity and answer these questions. Ask yourself:
• Where have I been successful in the past?
• What are my unique skills and abilities?
• How can I best bring them forward into the world?
You were born to be amazing, great and to do something phenomenal in this world. It won’t come without some stress and struggle. As you develop the muscles to overcome struggles, you will discover you are stronger than you ever imagined. Tough times create strong men and women. Yes, you can, and you will do anything you put your mind to. You just need to try and put your best foot forward.
Wishing you a year filled with success, happiness, good fortune, insight and the wisdom to make the best choices at every juncture.
Mazal & Bracha.
Rabbi Ezra Max, PCC, MHMP, Xchange Guide & Creator of “The Max Method” assists businesses and professionals deal with stress and achieve success. Rabbi Max has witnessed 20 years of results helping executives, parents and teens overcome struggles, improve communication and thrive. He lives in New York with his wife and five children.
