Put a little love in your heart
Sophia Franco
It’s been almost thirteen years since my dad left us a”h, after a long battle with dementia, and not a day goes by that I don’t think about how I could’ve made the quality of his last years better. Now, don’t get me wrong, my mother was Superwoman. He was always immaculate and dressed up in a handsome sweater, like the dapper gentleman he was. He had a clean shave, manicured nails, and his hair cut to perfection, always. He had nurses around the clock and family around him much of the time. And yet, more often than anything else, he watched tennis. He loved the sport, and it was one of the only words he said clearly towards the end. I always wondered what was going on in his head, and thought, next week, I’m going to get him moving more; next week, I’m going to try and get him talking; next week, I’ll do more.
Today, when I see the tidal wave of joy that enters a room with Randi Tamir, I am floored. After more than a decade of brightening the days of special needs and sick children with visits and outings through Bikur Holim and Chai Lifeline, Randi has made this her life’s work through a non-profit called Randi’s Care. If you’re curious, just open Instagram and get a little taste. At Ahi Ezer Randi and her amazing team are running indoor carnivals, Bingo nights, and birthday parties. While you may think it’s all been done before, trust me, it’s never been done like this. Her heart and soul shine through in dance, movement, and pure connection. The smiles on the faces around her tell the story better than words ever could.
“We are all social beings,” Elliot J. Tamir, Randi’s brother and the co-founder of the organization, explains. “We go out for dinner, look forward to weddings, and hop from gathering to gathering when the season is right. Do you think because a few more years pass, all that just goes away? Randi is bringing life, joy, and a sense of self-worth to our elders. She gives them a reason to get out of bed and get dressed. Of course, the family cares and does their best, but we are busy, and many elders, while loved so much, just sit around, waiting for the end. Who wants that, for themselves or for their parents?”
Randi explains, “Every time I’d enter a senior’s home or apartment to bring them flowers for Shabbat, they’d be sleeping. Whether in bed or on the couch, it took forever to get them up just to give them a smile and a hug. It was so sad; it was hurting my heart. Once they saw me, they were so happy! With company in the house, the flowers turned into dessert, the dessert turned into a cup of coffee together, which then turned into a card game, or maybe a puzzle or even a dance session to their favorite Arabic music. It made them happy, but more so, it made me happy. I kept thinking, ‘this lovely day shouldn’t be rare for our seniors.’ And now, we’re changing that.”
Elliot continues, “G-D bless the Center and Bikur Holim, they’re amazing, and everything they do and have done over the years is incredible. What Randi is doing is providing personalized care and more private attention. It’s genuine because Randi is genuine. When you’re old and infirm, what do you have left? All you have is your mind, your memories, and the stories you want to tell. You need companionship. You need someone to listen.”
And the world will be a better place wherever Randi and her team are going. Whether it be a Bingo night for 100, or a lunch for 2 in someone’s apartment, they come prepared. They have projects and props, decorations and a speaker, and most importantly they bring their kindness and effervescence. She brings a crew with her to help with heavy lifting and entertainment, but the confidence boosting is hers alone. She is the real deal. According to seniors, “She’s the best lady in the entire world!”
Randi explains that this is not a ‘one size fits all’ gig. “Everyone I take care of is a different individual with different requirements, so I tailor personally to their needs. It might be in-house ping pong or (non) beer pong; there’s Putter ball, which is like a mini golf course, bowling and basketball; and for the least agile, balloon toss! Some can’t reach out or open and close their hands, but there is some movement for everyone. Lena Weingort, my number one volunteer, is always right by my side. I also have boxes and boxes of puzzles, memory games, painting and projects. Even if an elder is just sitting and painting with watercolors, listening to music, they feel good about themselves, and that is our one and only goal.”
David Dayan is just one of the hundreds of seniors Randi and her team visit weekly. Incredibly handsome, wise, and charming, he often acts and feels more like the visitor than the one being visited. His daughter Betty Sitt explains, “Randi is beyond hesed. She makes my dad feel young. She gives him confidence, and something to look forward to. She calls him, takes him out, gives him time, and listens. She puts tremendous energy into everything she does, and even the low moments are charged and sensational. She doesn’t have to do that, it’s above and beyond expectation. She is truly selfless. I’m in awe of her.”
All You Need is Love
Watching Randi in action, you can see how she lightens the mood and brings out a side of people they never thought existed. A friend of mine once saw her with an elderly woman in Dr. Fariwa’s office, just hours before a holiday. The woman was frazzled, she had not finished preparing, but Randi was calm and resourceful. She made the necessary calls and sat with her while she was examined, and through an hour-long IV drip. She never left her for a moment.
Elaine Aizer recalls, “What stands out most is how Randi saw my mother-in-law, not as someone aging or ill, but as someone still full of life and deserving of every ounce of care and attention. She made her laugh. She sat with her, made sambousak together, danced to her favorite music, talked endlessly, and reminded her that she mattered. She treated her with dignity, friendship, and a daughter’s kind of love.”
Randi continues, “Some of the seniors just want to talk, but maybe the next visit, or the next, they’ll want to do more. Suddenly, they want to throw a ball or try an exercise. I have my certification as a Patient Care Assistant, but most of this is my personality. I brought a dance troupe of young girls in pink costumes to do a show for the elders in Ahi Ezer. I brought three childhood friends, now over 90 years young, together for the first time in ages. Oh, how they laughed! I try to make each of our elders feel like princes and princesses, and most often, it works.”
Randi’s Care is Always There
Rebecca Harary, co-founder, recalls, “I had such a wonderful, close relationship with my grandmother. Spending time with her cooking, shopping, or just having great conversations and enjoying each other’s company meant the world to me. When Elliot asked me to help him get Randi’s Care off the ground, I didn’t hesitate. The seniors of our community deserve all the love, care, and affection that Randi so generously gives them. She is such a beautiful person, both inside and out, and our community is truly blessed to count her as one of our own.”
With tenderness and care, Randi makes the people she’s with feel like they’re not lost in the world. She gives them hope and purpose. Without her visits, many just eat, nap, and stare at the TV. They get their medicine, and a loved one or aide saying, “how are you doing today, sweetie?” and that’s it. Randi steps in as a teacher, inspiration, and friend. Oh, how I wish it was an option for my dad, a”h, at the time! Randi unearths the treasure that is buried within. She brings our elders stimulation, excitement, and companionship, but mostly love. What a gift. What a true gift to this community.
Randi’s Care needs volunteers and board members! Please reach out if you believe in what we are doing, if you want to join in on the most fun you can have in a day, or if you would like a visit for your loved one. Call (718) 682-2769.
