Very soon, children will be trading sun and sand for paper and pencils as they return to the classroom for the start of a new school year. For some young people, this is a time of great stress and anxiety, because going back to school means going back to being bullied. Bullying has become a problem which can lead to tragic repercussions. That is why my colleagues and I are working hard to create effective anti-bullying initiatives. We need to protect our children and teens, not just from being teased and picked on, but from the emotional and psychological effects that can last a lifetime.
The 2011 Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance System, a part of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, revealed that more than 20% of students, nationwide, in grades 9 through 12 experienced bullying. Thats only slightly less than one quarter of all the high school students in the US.
While Governor Cuomo recently signed legislation establishing a mandatory reporting system for all incidents of bullying and new training for certain school staff, we need to do more. I will continue to be vocal until legislation is passed that ensures that all of our young people, in public and private schools, will be protected from this societal scourge.
Bullying can occur during or after school hours. While most reported bullying incidents occur on school grounds, a significant percentage also happens on the playground, the bus, in the neighborhood, and even on the Internet. Before families had computers in their homes, bullying would typically end the moment the school bell rang. Now, technology has made bullying state of the art.
Until legislation catches up with technology, there are ways that parents can try to prevent children from being bullied. Talk with your kids about cyber-bullying and explain the very real dangers that it poses for a young child. If you keep a computer in the house, consider installing parental control filtering software or monitoring programs. If your child is old enough to know how to use a computer, sooner or later he/she will figure out how to visit chat rooms, where unsavory lurkers hiding behind their monitors, may exploit younger, more impressionable children. It is crucial for parents to be aware of what their children are doing online.
The same with cell phones: Check who your child sent messages to, who they received them from, and make sure you are familiar with the phone numbers in your childs address book. Have a sense of what they do online and in texts, and learn about the sites they like. Make sure to ask for your kids passwords, but tell them youll only use them in case of an emergency, and tell them to never share their passwords with their friends, as this can compromise their control over their online identities and activities.
Children can be impetuous and may subsequently post media onto Facebook or Twitter, which they may later come to regret. Encourage your kids to think about the people who have access to their posts. Should complete strangers see it; real friends only; or friends of friends? Tell them to think about how people who arent friends could use it.
While there are many warning signs suggesting that a child may be bullied, or is bullying others, some children may be reluctant to ask for help, so you need to be able to read between the lines. Being bullied can be humiliating. Feelings of shame may compel kids to keep such problems from their parents or caregiversthe responsible adults whose guidance they have always trusted.
They might be afraid that their parents will judge or punish them for being weak. They may be scared to tell authority figures, such as a teacher, because they dont want others to see them as a tattletale, nor do they want a backlash from the bully.
Our children should feel that they are able to come to us with their problems, but being the victim of a bully often results in feelings of fear, shame and guilt. As caring parents, it is incumbent upon us to try to recognize the signs of bullyingthose being bullied and those who are bullying others, since these warning signs are often red flags for other serious issues, such as depression, suicidal thoughts and substance abuse.
Being able to talk to your children is the first step in being able to identify the root of the problem. Spend time with your children. Reassure them and let them know that they can always come to you if they have a problem, no matter what. If you know someone in distress or danger, dont ignore the problemget help right away.
Signs Your Child Is Being Bullied
Withdrawal, irritability
Rebelliousness
Avoidance of school events
Stomachaches and headaches
Crying often
Change in eating and sleeping habits
Sudden change in grades
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Assemblyman Steven Cymbrowitz represents Brooklyns 45th Assembly District, which includes parts of Sheepshead Bay, Gravesend, Manhattan Beach, Midwood, and Brighton Beach.
