In life, approaching issues with realistic expectations will spare you from disappointment. While positivity and hopefulness are important, one should be prepared for any outcome. If the result is better than expected, then appreciate the happy surprise. If the result is not what you had hoped for, the proper perspective will help you accept the outcome and move forward. This healthy attitude will help you navigate your single years and actually enjoy them, whether you socialize, work with a matchmaker, or join a responsible social dating app.
You should think about the high hopes you have of meeting someone when going to a party, on an organized singles trip, or to a popular vacation destination. You must realize that a small percentage of people actually do connect, and that less than half of those connections result in marriage.
If you don’t meet someone, even though you were open, friendly and charming, don’t blame yourself. It simply wasn’t your time, and B”H (with G-d’s help) the right time will come when its supposed to. For some it takes one party or one date while for others it can take months or years.
Matchmaking and social apps share many qualities. They may lead to dating, but you may or may not get the results you envisioned. In fact, many more will experience disappointment than success. Some may not receive a single match, which they shouldn’t take personally, perhaps it wasn’t their destiny to meet in this fashion.
You never know where or how you will meet your love, therefore keep enjoying the journey and when the time is right you will be ready.
By now you may realize that matchmaking is not a service that can guarantee results. For some it will create opportunities, for others it will provide new choices, and for a few it will not do anything .
Here’s How You Can Make The Most of Your Matchmaking Experience
Make sure you meet personally with your matchmaker (MM) for a full interview so they get to know you and what you are looking for. It’s best to continue your communication with your MM periodically, as feelings and circumstances often change. Don’t be afraid to ask your MM questions! Anything from what you should wear, date ideas, advice or feedback. One of the greatest perks you receive from matchmaking is a go-between—someone who knows how to guide you in the right direction.
Matchmaking is not to be misconstrued as a dating service. The MM’s responsibility is not to get you out of the house or fill your date schedule. The match has to make sense on many levels. Some people call a MM for the first time and ask, “Do you have anyone for me?” The MM may answer them with a no. What they mean to communicate is that they don’t have a potential prospect for you at this particular time. They are continuously searching their database and meeting new singles thinking of you. Instant gratification does not apply here. It is the quality of the match, not the quantity or speed.
The MM will never force you to go on a date. You have the prerogative to say no. Please make sure that if you do say no, that it is for the right reason. Your friends’ disapproval does not count nor does the social media presence of the potential match. If there’s the slightest possibility that this suggestion can succeed, then there is nothing to lose. Sharing a quick cup of coffee or having a drink is a pleasant alternative to a full date. If the same name of a match continues to come up, there must be a reason. You owe it to each other to explore what other people see.
Focus on one person at a time. The MM cannot control what you do on your own, but she will certainly not arrange for you to meet two people at once. If you are given a match, It’s best if you don’t pursue anyone else at the same time.
Do not be dismayed if a suggestion is not one you expected. Perhaps another MM or individual implored your MM to consider their recommendation. The guideline for a MM is that she must propose realistic suggestions made for you and let you decide.
Following a date, where a connection is not made, it would be generous on your part to pay it forward and suggest someone else who would be a better match for that person.
MMs work with many single people, so it is important to communicate with them and check in often. It is no bother to them. Many singles get upset when they do not hear from the MM. Help them to help you! A periodic reminder or text goes a long way. It is a two way street.
Declining suggestions too often will lead a MM to think you are not serious and that your expectations are unrealistic.
