This is the first part of Dr. Friedman’s examination of happiness as defined by Judaism and its various texts.
Everyone wants to be happy; few succeed at it. In fact, there are quite a few books discussing how to be happy and why many of us cannot find hapiness. A current best seller, Stumbling on Happiness, provides reasons why people are constantly misjudging what will actually bring them joy. Many prominent psychologists promote ‘positive psychology’ and urge researchers in the field to focus on happiness, pleasure and well being, and what it takes to keep people happy. Traditional psychology has been more concerned with mental illness and treating problems after they occur. This article examines what Judaism has to say about happiness, and how it ties in with the latest secular research on happiness.
There are many kinds of happiness. In fact, the Talmud (BT, Avot D’Rabbi Natan 34:10) notes that there are 10 words in Hebrew to describe simcha (happiness). Apparently, there are various kinds of simcha and one word does not suffice. In English, the word “happiness” can be used to describe the joy one receives from a piece of tasty chocolate cake, a good bottle of wine, finding a cure for cancer, or watching one’s child get married. This may be partially to blame for the confusion as to what truly brings joy and happiness. Some scholars profess that the “gratification” that results from having written a good book, saving a life, or finding the cure for cancer is quite different from the ‘pleasure’ one gets from, say, a good steak or a nice bottle of wine. Rarely will a person talk about a great piece of chocolate eaten 10 years earlier. The happiness that comes from pleasure and fun is not true happiness, and striving for it produces what some have referred to as an “empty self.” Indeed, individuals who are narcissistic, self-absorbed, and only concerned with their own pleasures will discover that this kind of happiness is not long lasting. On the other hand, thinking about a major accomplishment or the wedding of a child brings joy many years later.
Money and Happiness
Almost all scholars believe that relative wealth is much more important than absolute wealth in bringing happiness. In relatively wealthy countries, where the average family can easily afford the basic necessities of life, wealth has virtually no effect on happiness. While it is true that the indigent are less happy than the rest of the population, once a person is financially secure, additional wealth does not bring happiness. Even winning a lottery does not do much in the long run to increase happiness. It appears that individuals compare their own income to those of neighbors and people similar to themselves. Therefore, if a family’s income doubles but the income of friends and neighbors triples, the family will actually become less happy. H. L. Mencken’s joke that the happy person was the man who made $100 more than his wife’s sister’s husband was very close to the truth.
In fact, one happiness researcher half jokingly stated that the secret of happiness is low expectations. Families find that their income increases so they buy a bigger and better house, a nicer car, go out more, and within a few months have adapted to the new lifestyle and are no happier than before the income increase. Scholars in the field of happiness refer to this as a “hedonic treadmill:” Families work harder to earn more, but find that they are no happier than before.
One of the implications of the above is that several economists maintain that countries should rethink their focus on economic growth. If the goal is to make its citizens happy, the money can be better spent on health care (especially mental health), the environment, job security, and things that will actually make people happier. Economic growth does not necessarily lead to happiness; in fact, it can cause much unhappiness.
Ecclesiastes (5:10) asserts: “One who loves money will never be satisfied with money.” The sages of the Talmud also recognized this problem thousands of years ago. The Mishna notes: “Who is [truly] wealthy? He who is happy with his portion” (BT, Avot 4:1). True happiness can only come from being satisfied with what one has rather than constantly seeking more and more.
The Talmud also felt that moderation was very important and that people should not accustom their children to extravagant lifestyles (BT, Chullin 84a). The Meiri (BT, Moed Katan 27a) maintains that one should never act in an extravagant manner so that it causes individuals of lesser means to be ashamed. Not only does living an ostentatious lifestyle not bring happiness to the person living this way, but it also brings unhappiness and feelings of shame to others who cannot afford this kind of opulent way of life.
Meaningful Work and Happiness
Many people think that retiring early and doing nothing will bring them great happiness. To their dismay, they find that early retirement was a big mistake and that they are miserable. Most people are happier working than doing nothing. People want to be engaged in productive and meaningful work. Meaningful work is more important in bringing joy to a person than a large paycheck.
The right kind of employment can influence happiness in several ways: (1) it defines individuals and provides them with an identity, (2) it provides individuals with social connections, a feeling of belonging and friends, and (3) it offers people a sense of pride and feelings of accomplishment.
People want challenging, fulfilling work that gives them a sense of accomplishment. Moreover, there is a strong relationship between physical health and meaningful work; also with job satisfaction and life satisfaction. There is a whole new area of management dealing with what is referred to as workplace spirituality. The spiritual workplace is concerned about people and focuses on serving others and making work meaningful.
One of the biggest destroyers of happiness is losing a job; its effects can be felt even many years later. Job security is much more important than additional income. From a happiness point of view, it is usually a big mistake to change from a secure job to one that is less secure simply to make more money.
The Mishna in Avot (BT, Avot 4:1) derives the principle of “Who is [truly] wealthy? He who is happy with his portion” from a verse in Psalms (128:2): “When you eat the labor of your hands, you shall be happy and it will be well with you.” The verse suggests that joy comes from productive work. Most people do not take pleasure in being idle and enjoy meaningful work. Even billionaires such as Warren Buffet and Bill Gates continue to work. The sages of the Talmud abhorred idleness and felt it led to mental illness, immorality and even death (BT, Kethubos 59b; Avot D’Rabbi Noson 11:1).
Several of the sages would purposely carry burdens on their shoulders because they wanted their students to see that manual labor should be respected. The Talmud states: “Great is labor, for it honors the workman” (BT, Nedarim 49b). The Talmud asserts: “A person should love work and not hate it; for just as the Torah was given with a covenant, so too was work given with a covenant” (BT, Avot D’ Rabbi Noson 11:1); “One who derives pleasure [i.e., lives] from the labor of his hands is greater than one who fears Heaven” (BT, Berachos 8a).
The latter statement refers to one who works for a living, is G-d-fearing, and virtuous. Such a person is greater than one who receives support from others. There can be a synergy between spirituality, virtue and work. The Talmud quotes the verse cited above (Psalms 128:2) to support this: “When you eat the labor of your hands, you shall be happy and it will be well with you.”
Virtually any job can be meaningful. The following story from the Talmud (BT, Taanis 22a) shows how even jesters can make their work special.
Rabbi Beroka Hozaah asked Elijah the Prophet: Is there any person in this marketplace who is destined for the world to come [i.e., Paradise]? He replied, no. …While they were conversing, two people passed by. Elijah said: These two are also destined for the world to come. Rabbi Beroka approached them and asked them what they did. They replied: We are jesters, and we cheer up people who are depressed. Also, when we see two people who are quarrelling, we work hard to make peace between them.
The Messianic vision of the future (Isaiah 2:4; Micah 4:3) also involves some kind of work. Mankind will eventually “beat their swords into plowshares and their spears into pruning hooks.” Plowshares and pruning hooks are used for work. The message is not one in which people idly sit under the shade of their fig tree sipping martinis.
Social Connections and Happiness
A factor that greatly boosts happiness is socializing and having friends; several studies confirm the correlation between social friendship and happiness (and also health). Individuals who have strong friendships are also better able to cope with many kinds of difficult stresses including loss of job, death of a loved one, and illness. People have a need to belong; religion, work and family can fulfill this need. Close friends and family, studies find, are crucial for happiness and health. To most Americans, a spouse is a best friend. This is why marriage is so important to happiness. Also, it is important to find a job in which one gets along with co-workers and where people enjoy working together doing something meaningful, i.e., what is referred to in the literature as the spiritual workplace. Changing to a better-paying job where one spends more time working and commuting and less with family and friends is a good way to ensure less happiness.
The Talmud recognizes the importance of friendship. There is a famous saying quoted by the sages: “either companionship or death” (BT, Taanis 23a). They also recognized that a good marriage results in happiness. In fact, “Any person who has no wife lives without joy, without blessing, and without good” (BT, Yevamos 62b). There are 10 expressions of happiness and joy in the sixth blessing of the sheva brachos (seven blessings) recited at a wedding ceremony. This blessing ends with gratitude to G-d who “rejoices the groom with the bride.” The Talmud (BT, Sotah 20a) believes that a woman would rather have “one kav” [kav is an ancient measure—a metaphor for a simpler, less luxurious lifestyle] with a husband who is available rather than “nine kavs” with a husband who is rarely around.
A matron once asked one of the Talmudic sages what G-d has been doing since He created this world (Midrash Genesis Rabbah 68:4). The response was that G-d works as a matchmaker and matches up people. This Midrash has two messages for humanity: (1) that even G-d cannot be idle and is engaged in meaningful work; and (2) marriage is so important that G-d has to get personally involved in it.
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Heshy Friedman is Director of the Business Programs at Brooklyn College. Business is the largest major in the college, with approximately 2,000 students. Professor Friedman’s main research interest focuses on the biblical foundations of business ethics; he has published more than 100 articles in scholarly journals.
