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Finding Strengths In Our Children

How do we motivate our children to thirst for success? What is the magic formula to teach our children to seek knowledge? Knowledge is acquired when it is presented and utilized in a manner that invigorates and inspires. When we perceive ourselves with abilities, we then are able to absorb information effectively.

There is a saying: “If you think you can or you think you can’t, you are right!” The key to acquiring and utilizing knowledge begins with good self-worth and true belief in yourself. The perception of one’s strengths and the realization and appreciation of one’s weakness fuels internal growth.

Let’s begin with a story of a young boy who was considered a failure at school. His report cards reflected a child with a significant delay in language processing. He was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome, which is essentially an inability to relate in a social setting. This child had difficulty expressing his thoughts in an effective manner and he also could not relate in a social arena. His parents were quite distraught and felt hopeless. They began to realize, however, that although this child had significant weaknesses, he had strengths too. Along their journey to find resources to help their son, they instilled a belief in him that he had true abilities and would someday make a mark in society.

This young boy entered a new school where his teacher noted that although he displayed difficulties with interaction, both socially and cognitively, he appeared to have a gift for math and science. When presented with mathematical and scientific problems, this child’s eye would gleam. He approached these subjects with fervor and accelerated way above his peers. His parents and teachers fueled this strength. This young boy matured and subsequently did in fact contribute to society. This mature young man discovered the Theory of Relativity. This young man’s name was Albert Einstein.

The Tanna d’Bai Eliyahu, medieval rabbinic work dating from the 10th century, states:

This is what the Holy One said to Israel: “My children, what do I seek from you? I seek no more than that you love one another and honor one another.”

If we take this thought and apply it to all aspects of life, we may begin to realize that with honor for every individual, with their strengths and their weaknesses, we can begin to imbue self-worth for one another. The feeling that one has abilities and that his words are of value can unlock all those qualities that Hashem bestowed to our people. It is important to realize that every child is an unpolished diamond. With gentle polishing, it too can gleam.
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Rochelle Harary is a certified school psychologist.