Eliyahu Freedman
Rumination keeps us trapped in yesterday and afraid of tomorrow.
Jewish wisdom suggests a better response.
As I walked out of the conference room after a recent job interview, I felt a familiar sinking feeling, the quiet sting of wounded pride. “Good luck,” the CEO said politely as we shook hands and said goodbye. I already knew how it had gone. I had stumbled over one of the final questions, and it was hard to imagine a job offer coming my way.
On the walk home, I kept replaying the interview, reconstructing the perfect answers, and spiraling into anxious thoughts about how competitive the job market is. I couldn’t believe that after making it all the way to a final interview, I would have to start over once again.
That mental loop has a name. Psychologists call it rumination. It is the habit of reliving the past and worrying about the future, even when neither is actually in our control. It rarely helps. More often, it keeps us agitated and stuck.
The Jewish sage Maimonides offers a different way of relating to moments like this. In his words, a person should thank and praise G-D for the past, and cry out to G-D for the future. Put simply, the past is for gratitude and the future is for asking for help. Let’s unpack how this teaching can help quiet anxious thoughts.
Blessing the Past: Closing the Loop
Based on the Talmud, Maimonides writes in the laws of blessings, alongside daily practices meant to cultivate awareness and gratitude, that a person must bless G-D for bad news just as they bless Him for good news (Mishneh Torah, Laws of Blessings, 10:3). This does not mean that good news and bad news feel the same. Maimonides is not asking us to experience joy in disappointment. He is asking us to relate to whatever occurred with a posture that allows you to move forward rather than remain trapped in it.
After my interview, the outcome was no longer in my hands. Whether the eventual news would be encouraging or disappointing, the moment itself had already passed. If good news arrives, bless G-D with gratitude, ha-tov ve-ha-meitiv (Blessed is the One who is good and does good). If bad news arrives, bless G-D as the true Judge, Baruch dayan ha-emet (Blessed is the True Judge). In both cases, the blessing performs the same subtle task. It prevents the mind from reopening the past as a problem to be solved. The event is named, received, and given closure.
Without such a practice, disappointment easily turns into incessant rumination, beating yourself up and fixating on what you should have done differently. It leaves no room for productive introspection that enables you to learn from your mistakes and move on. There is a difference between learning from the past and anxious looping. Healthy reflection has an endpoint. You extract the lesson, adjust your behavior, and then allow the moment to settle into the past. Rumination has no endpoint. It replays the same scene without producing growth. Only agitation.
At the same time, unacknowledged moments of joy pass just as quickly, barely registered before the mind moves on to the next demand or worry. A blessing interrupts that cycle. It does not deny the pain or pretend the outcome was good. But it does bring the argument with the past to an end.
The Future Is for Asking, Not Rehearsing
If blessings teach you how to relate to what has already happened, Maimonides is just as clear about what to do with what has not yet occurred. In the same section about blessings, he writes that when it comes to future possibilities, a person should cry out to G-D, ask for mercy, and pray. The future, in other words, is not something to be endlessly fantasized about or worried about. It is something to be held with trust and faith.
Most anxiety lives in the future tense. What if I don’t get another interview? What if things don’t work out? You repeat this pattern as if compulsive overthinking can sway the future in your desired direction. Modern research on anxiety suggests the opposite. Repetitive “what if” thinking keeps the brain’s threat system activated. The body responds to imagined scenarios as if they were already unfolding, generating stress without solving the uncertainty.
Maimonides’ approach does not deny uncertainty, nor does it demand passivity. You prepare, you plan, and you act responsibly. But once you reach the edge of what is in your hands, the remainder belongs in prayer. Regarding the outcome of my job interview, I can bless what has already happened, learn from it with honesty, and let it pass. As I face what lies ahead, I can pray for wisdom and courage, while accepting that control over results was never fully mine to begin with. That is a Jewish path toward inner peace. q
