Michelle Safdieh, Nicole Levy & Claudine Bennaim
It’s been six months since we’ve said goodbye to our parents. There has been a lot of thinking, reminiscing, crying, and laughing. We’ve sifted through old photographs and memories, trying to make sense of how we got here. While the pain remains strong and very real, we’ve also come to realize just how lucky we were—and still are. This tribute is a reflection on that journey, honoring the values our parents imparted and the closeness of our family.
From a young age, Mom and Dad emphasized the importance of being polite, courteous, caring, and respectful. This wasn’t just any “run-of-the-mill” respect. If a friend or relative entered the room, we would jump up like jack-in-the-boxes to promptly kiss them on both cheeks. For friends or older cousins, we referred to them as “Aunt” or “Uncle.” Although it may have been considered “old fashioned”, it was a testament to the importance our parents placed on acknowledging and respecting those around us.
Proper etiquette was paramount, especially in how we set the table. I think Mom must have mentioned Emily Post at least once a week. We didn’t know why Emily Post got to decide how you must set the table; she just did. This dedication to decorum instilled in us a sense of order and respect for tradition, even if it sometimes felt a bit strict.
The warmth and friendliness of our parents extended beyond our immediate family. Every housekeeper, worker, the concierge from Florida, hairdressers, manicurists, and healthcare aides showed immense care, sorrow, and willingness to help when they came to pay their condolences. This was a reflection of how warmly our parents treated everyone they met. Their kindness and respect left a lasting impact on those around them.
Our parents spent most of their time together. They would go shopping, run errands, and dine out together. While it may not have been Dad’s favorite pastime to run errands, he was always eager to help and make sure Mom was taken care of. That was what mattered most to him—so much so that he was even known to carry her handbag for her.
One sentiment we constantly heard from visitors was how close our family was. We never thought it was extraordinary, but considering our parents spent over seven months each year in Florida for the past 20+ years, we realized how special it truly was. Our children are more like siblings than cousins, always looking forward to spending time together. This is a testament to the strong family bonds our parents nurtured. We once asked our dad how he felt about only having girls, mom said he actually prayed to have girls, and it showed. He was always the dad who would do the late night or early morning carpool. He loved taking care of and helping us and never asked for anything in return.
Visiting Grandma and Grandpa was never a chore for the kids. Each grandchild and their spouses had their own unique relationship with them. There was always laughter, recipes explained while something baked in the oven, discussions about current events and heartfelt interest in whatever was happening in their lives. And when the great-grandchildren visited, they would drop whatever they were doing. Nothing gave them more joy than those visits.
Friends liked to compare their love to a romantic movie, calling it the greatest love story. We would laugh because, even when they bickered, it was comical. But beneath the humor, we always knew they shared a great love and deep respect for each other.
During their last days, each was more worried about the other than about their own health. Watching them say their final goodbyes over FaceTime was torturous, yet deeply heartwarming. The love they had for each other was palpable.
Mom would always tell us that she would never be able to live without our dad. He was everything to her. When dad started to decline, we were so afraid to tell her. Somehow, deep down, we got the feeling that she already knew. Although she wasn’t critical or terminal, she passed quietly, after the whole family had come to visit, on Sunday, Purim day.
Navigating between two hospitals was incredibly difficult for us. It was extremely hard to be in both places at once. But then Ronnie and Sammy, their sons-in-law, immediately sat by Dad’s bedside, sleeping there for two days until Mom’s funeral. Dad passed away the day after Mom’s funeral, but he made sure to wait for his grandson Isaac to return from Israel.
We were so fortunate to have the entire family together with the support and guidance of Rabbi Shelby. It was the most beautiful, special closure we could have hoped for and we will always be forever grateful to the Rabbi. Their grandson Aaron had the opportunity to read Shir HaShirim for each of them, which was the most moving experience. We are very grateful to the Rabbi for giving us this gift.
As we continue to navigate this new chapter, we hold onto the enduring legacy of our parents’ values and the strength of our family bond. We feel fortunate for the time spent together and the lasting impact our parents had on everyone who knew them. Their love and teachings will continue to guide us, reminding us of how truly lucky we are. And although it took us all these months to process the enormity of our loss, there is also a feeling of peace, knowing they are together, still looking out for each other. Not a day goes by that they aren’t mentioned and praised for the life lessons they imparted to us and tried so very hard to prepare us for.
With Rosh Hashanah approaching, we are so grateful to have all mom’s recipe cards (approx. 30 boxes). It just would’ve helped to have the Berakhot narrowed down to which recipe was truly her favorite, and some accurate ingredient measurements!
We consider ourselves extremely fortunate to have them as our role models. Everyone should be as fortunate to have a love story like theirs. May their memories continue to have an abundance of blessings.
Michelle Safdieh, Nicole Levy & Claudine Bennaim are members of the Sephardic Community.
