Behold you are sanctified to me with the silver of this coin

To have and to hold until death do us part

I will love you til the end of time

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In Attracting Your Extraordinary Love, the page titled: Loves Changing Faces reads:

At different stages in a relationship, the face oflove will change.

Loves face will at times bemagical, sexy and passionate.

At other timesyou will simply feel comfortable and love will

wearthe face of security, peacefulness, and a belief in thedreams you wish to build.

Allow yourself to grow into the different stages oflove.

Dont be confused by the ever-changingexpressions of loves face.

Those you dont initiallyrecognize are an opportunity for you to achieve

newlevels of loves expression.

The sentence that reads: Those you dont initiallyrecognize are an opportunity for you to achieve new levels of loves expression is the sentencethat has evoked the most interest and questions.

How can one not recognize a new face of love? Many have asked.

Others have said: Ive lived with the person for years or decades weve shared all that partners can share there isnt anything that can come into our lives that will surprise me

The truth is that love is an evolving and creative force. It is the most mysterious, challenging and surprising of lifes endowments.

As such, it constantly changes. The love felt for a person in the formative years of a relationship, for example, is distinct in that it will be shaped by youthful needs and expressions. Elements like: physical and emotional attractivenessand the possibility to learn about the other, are some of the things that drive and shape a young or formative love.

As time marches forward, children, self-expression, and adult challenges will engulf a relationship. Love will then be uprooted from its origins and be replanted, based on new criteria that include the memories of the young love, a refined vision, and maturing physical expression.

As the children become young adults, they drag husband and wife to the next stage of life. At this point, love will step away from its origins and standat somewhat of a distance – challenging the couple to look at each other again as if for the first time. This is one of the most confusing junctures in a relationship, in that each of the lovers looks different -physically and emotionally -than how they looked a two or three decades before. This face of love is difficult to understand. It appears to be disconnected from that which preceded it. This can foster concern and even crises between the lovers as it seems a stranger has invaded the relationship.

So the faces of love change sometimes drastically. As a result of that, lovers may drift or even separate, because they dont understand the new love they can share, and they feel betrayed by the inaccessibility of the earlier faces of love.

So how do you become a lover who evolves and grows with your relationship?

How do you become a lover who can build a new love with the same person – again and again?

There are three ideas one should considerso that he/she can evolve as does their love:

1. To love someone is to become a perpetual student of that person
The words I love you mean many things including the notion that one will dedicate much of his thoughts and energies to learning more and more about his partner. Anniversaries and birthdays can be used as benchmarks to remind a person whether he has been learning enough about the one he loves and if he can quantify that new knowledge. One who is actively learning and revealing more and more about the person he loves will build greater depth into the love shared, and recognize where the love is going.

2. There is no everything person.
Our Sages have advised that in order for ones relationship to perpetuate with a love mate, he/she must have other meaningful relationships. Make for yourself a mentor and earn yourself a friend are the words with which we understand that for someone to be your everything she must not be your everything. No one can fill all of your needs or satisfy all of your dreams and expectations. A few appropriate and serious relationships, will allow the love you share with your love mate to evolve and recalibrate, rather than be overburdened and break.

3.Theres nothing more difficult than love.
Love is the most difficult endeavor a human being will ever undertake. A person can build skyscrapers or construct complex algorithms, but he/she may fail at the love shared with a partner. So when one believes he has exhausted all of the possibilities to rekindle the love once shared, or to make the new face of love work he must reach further, dig deeper, cry, scream and expend strength that he never imagined he had and make a new attempt to grab on to the evolving love before its lost.

The words I love you mean many things including the notion that one will dedicate much of his thoughts and energies to learning more and more about his partner. Anniversaries and birthdays can be used as benchmarks to remind a person whether he has been learning enough about the one he loves and if he can quantify that new knowledge. One who is actively learning and revealing more and more about the person he loves will build greater depth into the love shared, and recognize where the love is going.

Look for, and seek to embrace loves changing faces. Doing so will enable the present day love to be exciting and pasionate, and to become resilient in the face of all that may challenge it.

Warmest regards,

Ricky

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